REVIEW: Limited Edition Birthday Cake Golden Oreo Fudge Cremes

The way I see it, turning 100 is a pretty big freaking deal. Unless you happen to be a member of the Yoda species, in which case turning 100 is something to the equivalent of turning 15. Stuck somewhere between the celebratory awkwardness of entering the teen years that comes with a 13th birthday and the license to act like an idiot of the 18th birthday, turning 15 can be pretty mediocre.

I don’t look for mediocrity in my cookies (I leave that for granola bars and Subway sandwiches), and I sure don’t expect mediocrity when it comes to my all-time favorite brand of cookie hitting the century mark. So when I missed out on being invited to the party of reviews for the Limited Edition Birthday Cake Oreo, I was pretty perturbed. Fortunately, Oreo’s slightly younger brother Golden Oreo Fudge Creme is also celebrating the brand’s 100th birthday, although I’m not sure how that exactly works when I consider I’m 23 and have no recollection of the Golden Oreos or Fudge Cremes from my elementary school days.

I also don’t recall resealable packages, but hats off to Nabisco for standardizing this marvel of cookie engineering on their products. As anyone who has ever eaten stale Oreo crumbs will tell you, a chewy Oreo is a soulless Oreo, not to mention one which loses its trademarked cocoa smell. Even before fully unveiling the “lift here” tab on my box, I was immediately greeted by a slightly different aroma, although one no less nostalgic or pleasing. The cloying fragrance of sprinkles (‘jimmies’, to you old folks) is approaching sticking a funfetti cupcake up your nose territory, but nearly a decade and a half removed from Discovery Zone birthday parties, so I’ll take it. Like Qin Shi Huang’s army of terracotta soldiers the Fudge Cremes are unchipped and arrayed in perfect order, inviting the kind of unabashed ebullience of digging in that you’d expect from a six year old beholding said birthday cupcake.

I may not be six years old anymore, but I can still work my way through a box of cookies like one. The first taste, however, is more dull sheen than chocolate frosting, with the fudge creme and sprinkles tasting decidedly like fake fudge cream and tasteless morsels of dextrose and chemically engineered sprinkles. The cookie base is a weak crisp of shortbread flavor but little more, while the creme — that deliciously smooth yet somehow fluffy blanket of rich white synthetic filling — is lost within a crater of shortbread and filling of fake fudge.

“Fudge” might not exactly be what I said to myself after this first and certainly lackluster taste, but there is redemption of momentary disgruntledness. Should you leave your entire box in a hot car during this fit of It’s-my-birthday-and-I’ll-cry-if-I-want-to-rage, only to later return, you’ll find the sheeny, tasteless fudge to have melted into the kind of finger-licking chocolate frosting goo that comes from putting a chocolate donut in the microwave. Melting into the still crispy golden base, it’s somehow full of an admirable synthetic flavor that even the folks at a Whole Foods would find tempting.

Right off the store shelves, the Oreo Fudge Creme’s 100th birthday is a lot like celebrating your 15th birthday. But with a warm car and a little time, it’s a chocolate frosting coated treat that recalls the best of bygone birthday parties, minus the actual presents, of course.
 

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 130 calories, 60 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 25 milligrams of potassium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.)

Other Limited Edition Birthday Cake Golden Oreo Fudge Cremes reviews:
Foodette Reviews

Item: Limited Edition Birthday Cake Golden Oreo Fudge Cremes
Price: $2.99 (on sale)
Size: 11.3 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Fudge coating smells just like chocolate frosting, and once melted, tastes like it too. Finger licking goodness of melted fake chocolate. Resealable packaging kicks the heck out of cookie jar freshness. Smells like a birthday party at Discovery Zone, minus the crappy pizza. Oreo still going strong at the big 1-0-0.
Cons: Sprinkles that taste too much like sprinkles. Creme filling that made the original Oreo so great is overpowered. ‘Fudge’ coating is tasteless sheen of palm oil when not melted. Cookie base is less than memorable. Smelling like cupcakes for an entire day. 15th birthday blues.