REVIEW: Limited Edition Jumpin’ Jack Doritos

Man, these Limited Edition Jumpin’ Jack Doritos take me back.

I remember eating bags of it while (insert 90s reference here) or (insert 90s reference here). Except for the acne and bullying, those were good times. Heck, I think I still have those (insert 90s fashion here) somewhere in my closet. But when Jumpin’ Jack Doritos went away, I was a little sad, just like when they cancelled (insert 90s television show here). For years, I wished I could (insert Back to the Future DeLorean/flux capacitor reference here) and experience those chips again.

But thanks to Frito-Lay’s recent trend of bringing back old chip flavors in retro packaging and no thanks to nonexistent time travel technology, I can enjoy these pepper jack cheese-flavored tortilla chips once again, but for a limited time.

Like the outfits in the first few seasons of Friends, the retro Doritos packaging SCREAMS 90s. It also screams 80s…and 70s. Okay, it just screams old and the font used for the “Jumpin’ Jack” makes me wonder where its leopard print leotard is. Oh wait, I was in high school when these first came out, so that makes me old. I. Am. Old. I feel like I should pull my pants down and let my doctor use his latex glove-covered finger to check my prostate.

The chips don’t look as cheesy as regular Doritos, but that’s because the cheese-flavored powder blends in with the color of the chip, like medium 28 camel Sephora tinting moisturizer blends with my skin tone. The cheesy seasoning is made up of cheddar, Monterey Jack, and Swiss cheeses. It sounds like a lot of cheese but according to the level of cheesy powder that accumulated on my fingers while I ate my way through the bag, the chips didn’t seem to have a heavy coating of powder. However, they were some damn tasty chips.

Now some of you cheese connoisseurs might be taking off your monocles, putting down your cup of tea, and asking yourself, “If those chips are pepper jack flavored, where’s the pepper part?”

Well, I was just getting to that, Mr. or Ms. Fancy Pants. Along with the cheesy coating, the tortilla chips have a sprinkling of black and red seasonings, which I assume was the jalapeño pepper powder listed in the ingredients. The jalapeño powder gave the chips a level of heat that would be on the lowest Scoville scale level. To be honest, as someone who likey the spicy, the lack of heat was a little disappointing.

While the amount of spice the Limited Edition Jumpin’ Jack Doritos doesn’t make my taste buds want to jump, the chip’s wonderful, but not overpowering Monterey Jack flavor makes them wonder why they’re not a regular addition to the Doritos line.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce – 150 calories, 80 calories from fat, 8 grams of trans fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 240 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, 2% vitamin A, and 2% thiamin.)

Item: Limited Edition Jumpin’ Jack Doritos
Purchased Price: $2.98
Size: 11 ounces
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Nice cheesy flavor. Doritos bringing back flavors from the past. Doesn’t leave your fingers stained orange. Retro bag brings back memories of being asked to the Junior prom as a sophomore. The way medium 28 camel Sephora tinting moisturizer make me look.
Cons: Level of heat doesn’t make my taste buds jump. Not for MSG haters. Limited edition. Leaves your fingers stained yellow. Retro bag brings back memories of being the third option for the girl who asked me to the Junior prom. Checking prostates.