Do you remember your first time?
Were there scented candles? Sensual music in the background?
I remember my first time. It took place right outside of Central Park. I didn’t mind the public watching. Children stared. There was whipped cream. Things got sticky. Real sticky.
Yup, I remember my first time trying speculoos spread like it was just yesterday. Like many others, my first taste of speculoos spread came atop a waffle from a Wafels & Dinges truck in New York. That sweet, slightly spiced cookie butter knocked my tastebuds’ socks off. (And my tastebuds don’t even wear socks.)
Naturally, when I found out that Trader Joe’s had combined their speculoos spread with a cocoa swirl, I jumped at the opportunity to try it. Chocolate is the only thing that could ever improve speculoos, right?
Behold: Trader Joe’s Speculoos Cookie and Cocoa Swirl.
Removing the lid from the glass jar released the heavenly scent of speculoos, an aroma reminiscent of raw sugar cookie dough mixed with cinnamon. Strangely, my proboscis was unable to detect any trace of chocolate.
The light brown speculoos base is fabulous: sweet with a light cinnamon spice, like a spreadable mixture of snickerdoodles and graham crackers. Tiny bits of cookie crumbs are incorporated into the speculoos, providing a very slight crunch. For those who have yet to experience the joys of speculoos, be warned: it is extremely addictive.
But the chocolate? Oh boy. The chocolate changes things for the worse.
The dark brown cocoa swirl is saccharine and excessively rich, almost like a chocolate syrup in solid form. Its chocolate flavor seems artificial, two-dimensional, and ultimately unappealing. There’s no way I would ever eat the chocolate portion of this spread alone.
Because it’s not as thick as peanut butter or Nutella, the cookie butter spreads easily onto bread, waffles, and anything else you can imagine putting speculoos on. (Keep it PG, kids.)
When the speculoos and chocolate portions of the spread are combined, the result is one dark brown mass, more similar in appearance to Nutella than a cookie butter. The speculoos helps to calm the overpowering chocolate flavor of the cocoa swirl. However, the chocolate equally mutes the speculoos, converting the spread in its entirety into what tastes like a cheap, knockoff speculoos spread. Essentially, the addition of the cocoa swirl smothers the speculoos base’s wow-factor, downgrading a spectacular cookie butter to mere mediocrity.
What happened, Trader Joe? There was so much potential here. You took the easy way out by cutting corners and using cheap chocolate, didn’t you? For shame!
I should have known better than to trust a cookie butter sold by such an elusive man. I’ve been to his store countless times, but I still haven’t been able to find this Trader Joe guy. He’s harder to locate than Carmen Sandiego, Waldo, and the corpse of Jimmy Hoffa all combined.
Trader Joe, I will never again purchase your Speculoos Cookie and Cocoa Swirl spread. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
(Nutrition Facts – 1 Tbsp. (15 grams) – 90 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of total fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 20 milligrams of sodium, 8 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 6 grams of sugars, and less than 1 gram of protein.)
Other Trader Joe’s Speculoos Cookie and Cocoa Swirl Spread reviews:
What’s Good at Trader Joe’s
Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 14.1 oz.
Purchased at: Trader Joe’s
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: First times. Speculoos base is fabulous. Cookie crumbs mixed throughout.
Cons: Chocolate seems artificial. Combination makes spread seem mediocre. The corpse of Jimmy Hoffa.
Really strange that the What’s Good at Trader Joe’s seemed to be a regular Nutella consumer and was nearly certain that the chocolate swirl was Nutella. Not a Nutella fan?
I completely agree with this review. The chocolate just didn’t cut it and the taste often overpowered that of the cookie butter. I’ll stick to the regular jars of cookie butter.
Great review. Bought it two days ago, such a disappointment.
Chocolate ruined it.
Trader Joe thinks he’s the most interesting man in the world, but he’s not.
I couldn’t agree more. I absolutely love their original and crunchy cookie butter, but this stuff just isn’t that great… The jar I purchased was 95% cocoa and barely any of the good stuff. Also, the flavors don’t compliment one another, but rather kind of steal each others thunder. I definitely will not be purchasing again.
Tried this today…
One word…GROSS
The chocolate completely overpowered and ruined it..
I just tried the cocoa swirl cookie butter.. It is so yummy! Very, Very, addictive!
Thank you for this amazing review. Not only did it result in multiple LOLs but saved me from purchasing a jar of heartache. Will stick to the original.
Is the original still available? Where?
Is the original still available? Where?
I absolutely DESPISE this mix. I thought my tastebuds would get off on the affair of both flavors. …..save your $
just tried this tonight even after having read the review. You could not be more correct. Everything in here is just vegetable oil. Also loved the billy madison reference, hilarious.
Absolutely terrible! The chocolate if that’s what you want to call it over powers the cookie butter. Do not suggest this to product to anyone!
Honestly surprised by these comments. When I tried the cookie and cocoa swirl I could not believe so much awesomeness could be packed into one jar. The regular spread was always a 10/10 for me, but this is on another level. It is amazing.
i was underwhelmed with the original so i was hesitant to buy this one. to my surprise, the original is still barely touched in the pantry while we are on the second jar of this one with chocolate. maybe i like this one because the dark choc makes it not as sweet and don’t care for overly sweet foods.
I have to agree with the author that the chocolate definitely overpowers the original cookie power flavor. But if you are looking for a better chocolate spread alternative to Nutella, I thought this was it! It’s rich and dark chocolatey, as opposed to Nutella’s sugary milk chocolate dryness.