Sometimes I like to be an old-fashioned kind of guy.
Not in the sense of opening doors for women, saying please or thank you, or offering my seat to an elderly person on the bus. In all those instances, I’m an asshole.
The old-fashioned I’m talking about is occasionally putting on my acid-washed jean shorts, Hypercolor t-shirt, a pair of British Knights shoes, and listening to C+C Music Factory on my Sony Walkman cassette player with auto-reverse, while playing Sonic the Hedgehog on a Sega Genesis.
(Editor’s Note: For the convenience of TIB’s younger readers, who weren’t born when many of these things came out, I have added Wikipedia links to explain them, except acid-washed jean shorts because there’s no Wikipedia entry for them and I’m ashamed that I actually wear acid-washed jean shorts.)
When I’m bored and lonely in my apartment, I like to get really old-fashioned and put on a pair of polyester bell bottoms, a tie-dye t-shirt, a pair of platform shoes, and an afro wig, while listening to disco music on an 8-track player.
(Editor’s Note: To TIB’s middle-aged readers: I’m not saying you’re really old in any way, shape, or form, even though I did say “really old-fashioned.” When I said “really” I really meant it in terms of prestige and not in terms of time.)
I’m just as old-fashioned as this 32-ounce bottle of IBC Root Beer in its amber-colored glass bottle, but not as dark, curvy, or satisfying. It’s old-fashioned because it’s been around since 1919 and was introduced during Prohibition.
(Editor’s Note: To TIB’s younger readers: If you’re too lazy to click the Wikipedia link above, Prohibition was a time from 1920 to 1933 when it was illegal to produce, sell, or transport alcohol in the United States, but drinking it wasn’t illegal. If any of your great, great, great grandparents are still alive, you should ask them about it.)
Anyway, I’ve been drinking so many of these 32-ounce bottles of IBC Root Beer recently that if they were actually bottles of alcoholic beer I would probably be doing some crazy, possibly illegal stuff like tipping cows, sucking on a cow’s udder, sticking my arm into a cow to help it give birth to a calf, or paying $150 for small slab of Kobe beef.
Personally, IBC Root Beer is better tasting than the highly-distributed Barq’s and A&W root beer, but I’ve also tasted better root beers than the IBC one. It’s got a nice spiciness to it, it made a great root beer float, and it comes in a big 32-ounce bottle. Of course, the big bottle means I can pour one for myself and then pour some out for my dead homies, because I’m old-fashioned like that.
Item: IBC Root Beer
Price: $1.49 (32-ounces)
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Tastes great. Big 32-ounce glass bottle. Cheap. Great for root beer floats. Darker, more curvy, and more satisfying than I am. Being an old-fashioned guy.
Cons: Not less filling. No caffeine. Drinking the entire bottle in one sitting is bad due to high sugar content. I’m as asshole. Prohibition.
For extra variety when you’re feeling old-fashioned, you could pull out your United Colors of Bennetton and slip that IBC into a paper bag so it can front as a 40 when you pour some out for your dead homies.
Dunno what it is, but something about root beer tastes best out of a glass bottle.
Most of my electronics are on the old-fashioned side in my stereo, due to not having the $$ to get new ones. Although I do have a DVD player. But I also have a cassette player with auto-reverse.
If you’re worried about the high sugar content, you could try Diet IBC root beer, although it’s not as old-fashioned.
Yeah, old-“fashioned” that’s what we are…Man I’m a COMPLETE asshole AND an old fart and you wouldn’t catch me dead in a pair of acid-wash shorts. Now some full-length, tapered-leg jeans tucked into a pair of snakeskin boots (fake in that they aren’t even leather, but rather pleather, made to resemble snakeskin), that’s a whole different story.
Oh, man, Hypercolor! C & C Music Factory! I need to go relive the early 90s now. Wait, are you wearing slouch socks with that ensemble?
But I bet you totally rock the acid wash, Marvo.
Okay, I can’t even say that with a straight face. I tried. 😉
you should post a pic of you waring the afro
lol, their slogan is “IBC Bottles Memories”….lmao! tres cheesy! maybe they don’t realize this, but root beer isn’t actually beer, so what does it have to do with the prohibition?
Marvo, there is no shame in acid washed jeans. I had like, 6 pairs of them. Not to mention the LA Gear sneakers.
You should reconsider the “I don’t open doors for women” thing. Nothing sexier than a gentleman. 😉
I had the British Knight shoes with the lights in the bottom (and apparently the only person that found that cool was me). My Sony Walkman was a hand me down and only the play button worked.
Thanks for the memories.
What does IBC stand for?
The cool thing about IBC is that whenever you buy them in restaurants, they give it to you in a bottle, unlike other root beers like A&W and Barq’s, which just come from the soda fountains. The uncool thing is that you can’t get free refills of IBC since it’s ya know, special root beer.
Ah, 80s gear. I personally had the LA Gears with 3 different colored laces (mine was mint green, pink, and white), and you could use all three at the same time by braiding and weaving them on your shoes.
wow, you can go cow tipping on the rock in the middle of the ocean?
i wish they would make root beer ice cream, like they made coffee ice cream. that would rock.
skibs – If only I could get my hands on paper bags, since I only get plastic at the grocery store.
Chuck – I dunno about diet IBC. Anything with the word “diet” in it scares me. Although anything with the word “habanero” or “jalapeno” in it doesn’t scare me.
L’il E – Alligator boots!!! That would rock!!!
melanie – I don’t know what slouch socks are. I don’t think that trend made the trip to this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I think it died along the way.
Mir – Me wearing acid washed clothes in high school might explain the lack of girls back then, or it could’ve been my pocket protector.
DaDead – If you just want to imagine me wearing an afro, just grab a Q-Tip and a black marker. Then color one side of the Q-Tip black with the marker and that’s basically what I look like with an afro wig.
Webmiztris – If this were real alcoholic beer, I think the slogan should be changed to “IBC Drowns Away Memories…Temporarily.”
Brie – I could open doors for women and that would be sexy, but the rest of me still wouldn’t.
Tickkid – I wanted a pair of those, but my mom thought they were stupid.
cybele – IBC stand for Independent Breweries Company. Or we could make up what it stands for. I’d like to suggest Irregular Booty Corporation.
Toni – A&W on tap from their restaurants is pretty good. Anyway, in high school I used to wear THREE Swatch watches on one arm.
Barb – I think Breyers makes root beer float flavored ice cream. Also, yes we do have cows here. Hawaii has one of the oldest ranches in the United States.
Are they acid washed shortalls? Now, that’d be real shame.
Agree with you on your review–there are better root beers, but IBC is still better than the Barq’s/A&Ws (although A&W does make that kick ass cream soda).
ah marvo, you brought me back to a better time, a more innocent, youthful time. i still have my hypercolor shirt, but it doesn’t “work” anymore.
what does IBC stand for?
Ahhh… never tried it, but everyone says it’s really good stuff. don’t really like root beer myself.
You know, I’ve never liked root beer. Then again, my family has a proud history of running a speak easy, so it’s not likely I’d go in for any sort of alcoholic “substitute” under any circumstances. Still, funny review, and so informative! It’s like a history lesson, only more fun and painful for those of us who remember the time period in question.
Domokun – It would be a real shame if I had a matching acid washed jacket.
jenn – IBC stands for Independent Breweries Company. Oh, I remember this girl who always came into class with the Hypercolor hand prints on her boobs. I don’t know if she made them herself, but she was a skank, so probably not.
Andy – I’m sure you like the stuff without the “root” part.
Genny – As long as you don’t remember guys rolling cigarette boxes in their sleeves, it’s all good.
Heh, I suppose ya got me there. But I mean, it’s hard to resist some times.. Like, last weekend I went out with some of the guys from my Battalion, everyone was buying us drinks.. That uniform is like magic sometimes. How can you refuse free drinks… I think we only ended up paying for the appetizers.
Very true IBCs root beer is better then Barq’s/A&Ws although i am addicted to A&Ws cream soda. I really must cut down too much sugar.
man. sony walkmans, mini ghettoblasters, acid wash, bandanas, pastels – good times. I haven’t had IBC in awhile, I feel like going out to get some now.
Hey, that’s good stuff there, the review and the drink. I used to love root beer, especially A&W, but that’s ’cause at one time i was really into ampersands.
Saw this at Big Lots (the old Pic ‘n’ Save) for $1 not long ago, bought one for my dad for his birthday back in August.
🙂
Ahhh…well, damn. This stuff is good. I don’t even like root beer, but.. damn. Not only that, but they got those 32 ounce bottles at the dollar store.. for.. well, a dollar. And I’ll have a bit extra for it now, 2.2% pay increase across the board for 2007! Woo!
Andy – The last time I got a bunch of free drinks, I threw up behind the university’s baseball stadium.
James – I too must cut down on the sugar and HFCS.
Bryan – DO IT!!! Or else I’ll make you wear Jammers!
K – Did you have AT&T?
Andy – Now remember, don’t drink one every day and recycle the bottles.