Today’s review is all about helping my fellow rice-eating Asian brothers and sisters with keepin’ it real.
Are you the only Asian in your town and every time you’re at a party the only starch available is either potatoes, pasta, or bread?
Sure, you’ll scoop some mashed potatoes on your plate, but deep down, you really wish those potatoes were the OTHER white starch. You also don’t want to shovel those potatoes in your mouth, because your rice farming ancestors are probably watching you and waiting to see if you keep it real.
Sometimes your non-Asian friends will make Uncle Ben’s rice to accommodate you, thinking rice is rice, and on the outside you’re appreciative, but in the inside, you know that Uncle Ben’s rice will not suffice. It’s just not the same.
Then sometimes some drunk dude at the party will ask you if you can introduce him to some Asian chicks because he heard they were “tight” and will “love me long time.” Then another person will ask if you know karate, judo, kung fu, or any other of the Asian martial arts. Someone will ask you if you’re related to Jackie Chan and you’ll say you’re not, then correct them by saying your last name is Chen, not Chan.
Then some random woman will come up to you and say that she really enjoyed reading The Joy Luck Club and the movie version made her cry. Then some REALLY drunk dude will want you to apologize for Pearl Harbor. Someone else will ask you if you can solve a math problem for them.
Then an older woman will want to know if Calgon detergent really is an “ancient Chinese secret.” Some creepy guy will quietly ask you where he could get his hands on some “Japanese monster tentacle sex cartoons.” Another person will talk with you about how much they love their Toyota Camry. Then another drunk person will wonder how comfortable those “thongs” are that sumo wrestlers wear.
I can’t help my fellow Asians with any of the situations described in the last three paragraphs, but I can assist them with making their rice farming ancestors proud of them for keepin’ it real with the Shirakiku Microwavable Rice.
Each container contains 7.05 ounces of rice, which is enough for two meals, unless you’re a sumo wrestler, then it’s an appetizer. It also contains 318 calories, 71 grams of carbs, 0.4 grams of fiber, and 5.6 grams of protein. The rice itself was very good, it was fluffy and sticky, just like the way I prefer my cotton candy, but not too fluffy and sticky, just like the way I prefer my strippers.
It was also surprisingly better tasting than anything I’ve ever made in a normal rice cooker, which either says a lot about this product’s quality or says a lot about how much my rice cooking abilities suck.
The best part of the Shirakiku Microwavable Rice is the fact that it’s really quick and easy to prepare. Just pull back the lid a little and then heat it in the microwave for about one minute. If you’re old school or afraid the microwave’s radiation will mess with your DNA, you can also prepare it on a stove top by heating the container in boiling water for about 14 minutes.
Well I hope today’s review will help my fellow Asians get out of a rice-less situation with ease. Sure, carrying a container of Shirakiku Microwavable Rice in your purse or jacket pocket is a pain the ass since the container is about an inch thick, four inches wide, and eight inches long, but just think of the smiles you’ll receive from your rice picking ancestors when you meet them after you die.
Item: Shirakiku Microwavable Rice
Price: $1.39
Purchased at: Uwajimaya – Seattle
Rating: 10 out of 10
Pros: Quick and easy to prepare. Better than the rice I cook. Fluffy and sticky. No need to add water. 5.6 grams of protein. Enough rice for two meals, unless you’re a sumo wrestler. Keepin’ it real.
Cons: Pricey if you compare it to a 20-pound bag of rice, which goes on sale for $5-$6. Not for people on the Atkins Diet. Packaging isn’t very compact.
Wow, 5 out of 5! I don’t recall seeing a rating this high ever on this site. It’s true, although it was a different brand, the quality of this product is amazing. It comes out like freshly cooked rice. Better than cold rice that’s been reheated in the microwave.
mmmm sticky rice (strippers).
Yeah, this must be the first 5/5 I’ve ever seen on here! For microwavable rice? Seriously??
Oh, and btw, here’s a little tip for you in making rice in a rice cooker, in a pot, wherever:
After putting in the rice and leveling it so that it’s more or less smooth in the cooker, when you measure out the water, make sure that the level of the water goes up to the first joint of your middle finger. I learned this from my grandpa, who cooks rice in a rice cooker every single day.
Also, don’t eat rice immediately after it’s been cooked. It’ll be very, very soft and too moist to eat. Wait about 5 minutes for the rice to dry out a bit.
I get a very similar product here in Japan (I’m not together enough to have rice ready for breakfast.) But lately, I’ve been noticing there is a slight aftertaste of bleach. Did you notice anything like that with this one?
If I ever go out with an Asian guy (or girl! ROFL) I’ll make sure to bring this along so I can impress them with my rice making skills. Just gotta remember to hide the box!
My Japanese roommate brings little packs of rice like this home all the time. I LOVE the stuff! Just wish I knew of a good Oriental market where I could pick things like this up.
How do you even know what it is like to be the only Asian? As I recall from my youth in Honolulu, I was at most one of only TWO haoles, sometimes the ONLY haole in every class in school. I was really young (we lived there when I was ages 3-7 and again from 9-11), and I went to public schools in downtown Honolulu (Kuhio Elementary and another I can’t remember the name of).
I sure hope I can find this rice here, since this is decidedly not on a rock in the Pacific. I SUCK at cooking rice, even when I buy the good stuff and use a rice cooker. Are there any dairy products or by-products in it?
I’ll be on the lookout for that stuff for sure. I love rice – the kind they actually serve in Chinese restaurants – but Minute Rice just doesn’t cut it. It’s not sticky enough! thanks for that review, marvo!
(watch – they probably don’t even sell that stuff in my area… )
Man, it MUST be good to get a 5/5 from Marvo. I’ll keep an eye out for it for my next stir-fry…but being a white boy, I find that the Uncle Ben’s boil in a bag stuff usually suffices for me.
There’s nothing more insulting to a Pacific Islander than being called Asian. I assume it would be the same with calling Uncle Ben’s “Asian Rice.” I have had both and prefer real Asian. Rice that is!
I think that the people at Panda think I’m strange because I only ask for white rice with my meal. Most white boys like me like the noodles or that other stuff ” FRIED RICE”. Then I ask for soy sauce and they know. I’m just like all the other whities that smell like milk.
I feel compelled to try this new rice and drench it with soy sauce.
Okay, boiling the package in water instead of just making rice the old fashioned way on the stove makes no sense at all. Unless you’ve got oodles of money to piss away.
Of course I’m a sucker for tasty rice and now I’m curious what a 5/5 microwavable rice tastes like.
They sell these things at the international market down the street from where I live and I *loooove* them! They’re easier than the the boiling water method and faster than a rice cooker. The best part: It never comes out dry or overdone. The worst: The price.
wow ! that is so freaking awesome! you don’t even know how often i want rice but don’t want to wait for it to cook in the rice cooker! and don’t EVEN get me started on uncle bens. NAS-TY!
Please go to World Market and buy some Tim Tams and review them – if you need any Australian experiences aka your Asian experiences .. i.e. people asking you if you rode a kangaroo to school, is it summer all year ’round there, do you know Paul Hogan, etc. etc., let me know and I’ll give you a whole heap of examples!
(my friends and I driving past Little Saigon)
“Is that your dad?”
“No.”
“Is that your dad’s store?”
“No.”
“Because it has the same last name as you.”
“I know.”
Oh how I miss Uwajimaya. Here in DC, pre-cooked rice costs A LOT. Frightening: we must be psychically connected because I actually picked up a container of pre-cooked rice yesterday.
Fortunately, I’m not Asian, otherwise we might have ended up writing the exact same review.
Marvo honey…you need to start hanging out at better parties. You know the ones where the guests aren’t so retarded and serve better rice!
and I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you give a 5 outta 5 before! I’m on my way to the store right now!!!
…Um, I like Minute Rice. Am I forgiven?
I think I’ve only seen you give a 5/5 like, once before Marvo. You’re a tough grader. That’s ‘cuz you keeps it real. 😉
Now where the heck can I buy this stuff?
LaneO – Oh man, now I have to find a product that I would rate 6 out of 5, just to blow everyone’s mind.
Anonymous – I prefer Asian strippers as well.
Toni – Come on, you’re a long time reader. I think there have been maybe four 5 out of 5 products. Also, I don’t know if your rice cooking technique will work because my middle fingers are abnormally longer than the rest, due to my excessive extensions of them when driving on the freeway.
Melbatoast – No bleach taste, but the rice did seem a little too white.
Heather Feather – …and make sure there’s a microwave nearby, because that would totally suck if there wasn’t. Then you would have to get a pot, fill it with water, and if it’s an electric range then you have to wait longer than you would with a gas range…
Rhawb – Actually, you can buy them off of Amazon, but it’s pretty expensive.
L’il E – Every night when I’m crying myself to sleep, I know what it’s like to be the only Asian — and person — in my apartment. 🙁 As for the rice, I don’t think it has any dairy products or by-products in it. It’s just rice. Pure white delicious rice.
Webmiztris – You probably gotta drive to Jersey or NY for some. Mmm…Jersey.
Chuck – I’d prefer rice from Ojisan Hiro than Uncle Ben (Ojisan is uncle…I think and Hiro is the first Japanese name that popped into my mind since I’ve been hooked on NBC’s Heroes)
Gman – On the forms here, they split Pacific Islanders and Asians up. But I’m confused about Russians. Are they Asians since they’re part of the Asian continent?
cybele – Making rice the old fashioned way on the stove? Man, that’s old school. Thank you, rice cookers.
Angel H. – I think if there’s a bigger demand for them, they’ll make more, and then the price will drop. If not, stock up on them when they go on sale.
jenn – Now you have to find it, which might be harder than waiting for rice to cook in a rice cooker. 🙂
Alexandra – Actually, my sister came back from New Zealand a few weeks ago and I think she bought me some Tim Tams for me to try.
Ace N. – I know this is a little off topic, but when people ask me what my last name means, I like to tell them that it’s “Overlord of Japan.”
Abi – I’m only psychically connected with my twin sister…She says hello!
Suzanne – Come on, you’re one of my original readers, you must’ve noticed a few 5 out of 5’s. 🙂
Brie – You could beg someone to buy it for you. Or, I don’t know how long of a drive it would be but you could drive to Uwajimaya in Seattle.
zojirushi 4 life.
5 out 5?!! I have to give this one a try 🙂
OK that time you actually managed to make me sad with your schtick. Maybe it was the frownie? I’m going to every Asian market in town now in search of this stuff. You need to find a woman toot sweet buddy, join a club or something—Sierra Club? There’s a lot of pretty places to go hiking on Oahu…hiking is great cardio exercise too to get you into in shape for when it is time to “seal the deal” if you will.
yum yum yum- you know, for any brown rice lovers out there, Trader Joes has a microwaveable brown rice that is pretty good…..but i’ll definitly try this one, I love sticky white rice!
Hey Marvo, I know I’ve been around for a while, but I honestly can’t recall the other items you’ve given a 5/5. I figure that this wasn’t the first, but hell, I’m sure I can count them with one hand.
As for your extra long middle finger, looks like you’ll have to use a measuring cup instead 🙂
Admit it…you’re secretly jealous of the specific rice container dimensions you painstakingly wrote about! Oh, and I accidentally set a rice cooker on fire. Once.
Lord Jezo – Oh Lord Jezo, you are the most Asian non-Asian I’ve ever known.
Riley – If I could’ve given it a 6, I totally would, but that would cause a rift in the product rating continuum and would probably destroy Consumer Reports.
L’il E – I thought women like love handles. They have “love” in its name.
melis – I wouldn’t mind a brown rice version of this. Mmm…healthier.
Toni – Nah, I’ll just follow the lines in the rice pot.
Luck O’ the Irish – Jealous? Isn’t that a normal size?
“I love rice – the kind they actually serve in Chinese restaurants – but Minute Rice just doesn’t cut it.”
neophyte. that’s not japanese rice (the sticky, short-grain kind) that they’re serving you.
Word up to my Asian brotha. Actually, although I know the plight of the Asians well, I’m only half Japanese, and I’m sort of fat, so most people guess Mexican or Hawaiian before half-Japanese, half-Wisconsin white-trash. Oh well, at least I only get asked for help with math when people here I’m an Engineering major.
zzz – Chinese rice and long plastic Chinese chopstick…such a bad combination.
Mad Cow – I’m betting the Japanese half of you made you want to become an engineer. I’m also going to guess that you’re in electrical engineering.