Are you a really lazy hippie?
If your tie-dye shirt is dyed with only one color, half your hair is straight and the other half is dreadlocks and your bong is made out of a vase stolen from a cemetery, you may be a really lazy hippie.
If you’re not willing to put out free love, you only put up your pointer finger when attempting to show the peace sign and you call your fellow hippies by their real names instead of their hippie names, you might be a really lazy hippie.
If you rather play Grateful Dead songs on your iPod instead of your guitar, wear a Birkenstock sandal on one foot and go barefoot with the other and smell worse than other hippies, you could a really lazy hippie.
If you are a really lazy hippie, I have the perfect snack for your lazy granola loving tummy. It’s the Nature Valley Nut Lovers Granola Nut Clusters. Why is it perfect for lazy hippies? Because the clusters are bite-sized and they come in a resealable bag, which means there’s no need to open up a granola bar’s wrapper and take a bite out of it.
It’s much easier than making your own granola clusters, which involves taking a box of granola bars, putting it on a hard flat surface and then hitting it with a hammer a few times. Although, now that I think about it, it would probably be much easier for a lazy hippie to get granola clusters by asking another hippie for them, since the hippie code is all about sharing and shit.
The Nature Valley Nut Lovers Granola Nut Clusters are made up from cashews, pecans, peanuts, granola and a touch of honey to make everything stick together. Inside the bag it looks like a bunch of unwrapped broken up granola bars. It’s like someone just stuck the bars in there, sealed it and then placed it in the middle of a hippie jam circle to form the bite-sized clusters by getting the bag stepped on by a dancing tambourine player named Rainbow.
As for the flavor of the granola clusters, I thought it was good. There was a nice balance of salty nuttiness and sweetness. If you like honey roasted peanuts, you’ll like these, although they’re not as sweet. I couldn’t taste the pecans, instead I mostly noticed the cashews and peanuts. Each cluster had a lot of nuts, but they weren’t as crunchy as I hoped they would be.
By weight, the amount in the bag (141 grams) is equivalent to about four of Nature Valley’s granola and nut bars (35 grams each). The price of the Nature Valley Granola Nut Clusters is roughly the same price for a box of Nature Valley’s granola and nut bars, which contains six of them. So it seems we’re paying quite a bit for the convenience of having our granola and nuts clustered.
I guess a better value, if I wanted granola nut clusters, would be to buy a box of Nature Valley granola bars, place it in the middle of a hippie jam circle and let Rainbow at it.
(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce (about 7 clusters) – 160 calories, 10 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 130 milligrams of sodium, 14 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein and 4% iron.)
Item: Nature Valley Nut Lovers Granola Nut Clusters
Price: $5.89
Size: 5 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Nice balance of salty nuttiness and sweetness. Bite-sized clusters. Reminds me of honey roasted peanuts. Comes in a resealable bag. Perfect for really lazy hippies. Lots of nuts. The hippie code of sharing.
Cons: Couldn’t taste the pecans. Nuts weren’t as crunchy as I hoped they would be. Smelly hippies. Not a good value when compared with a box of regular granola bars. Really lazy hippies.
These seem interesting but I might have some trouble picking out the nuts. But I guess that defeats the purpose of nut granola. I wonder what they would taste like in a bowl of milk. But maybe I can buy these and use them to protect myself against crazy Irish naked drunken hippies at burning man. My boyfriend’s family always makes me go and since I don’t plan on being stoned they would probably tell that I’m not one of them and try to eat me wrapped in a peace burrito. That is, if I don’t bring Nature Valley Nut Lovers Granola Nut Clusters (Oy, is that a mouthfull… or a fingerfull… or a.. yeah). The product you CAN count on to distract hippies long enough for them to forget they wanted to eat you in the first place!
Since hippies, by nature, are supposed to be lazy, I bet it was hard thinking up ways in which they were any lazier than normal. 😉
“I guess a better value, if I wanted granola nut clusters, would be to buy a box of Nature Valley granola bars, place it in the middle of a hippie jam circle and let Rainbow at it.”
I was thinking something similar 🙂 Not that specific….but I grew up with Nature Valley Granola Bars and loved them. I’m thinking just get a couple of them, throw it in a bag…..add wanted nuts, fruits, candies, etc. and you’ve got yourself a delicious trail mix.
….and Marvo, I’m surprised at you…restraining from all the obvious nut loving, nut clusters, nut’s in your mouth, that’s what she said references….I actually enjoyed this much more because I guess going that route was too obvious. Good one!
@ Bear Silber- My first thoughts before reading the post, was me singing putting in your mouth and suck’em!!
I would rather just eat handful of nut so I could get the flavor of each different type of nut. Yes, I pretty much left this comment so I could say nuts a few times
I think the look of the bag made it so we have an alternative to potato chips. Sadly I don’t see the hippy cousin of the couch potato, the couch granola, anytime in the near future.
In terms of taste, they were actually pretty good.
peace&love Marvo
Have you ever seen a hippy baked on a Thursday morning try to use a resealable bag? Bad marketing decision by Nature Valley.
I hate hippIes during my tour of duty 1968 though 1970 I spilled my blood while the peace lovers had sex and took dope. Then when i came home I was spit on and called baby killer.
now you want me to eat nuts and twigs and be at peace
I dont like nuts and twigs and i dont like hippies
THAT IS ALL
No matter how you slice it, you’re still putting your nuts in your own mouth, good and salty!
These things are pretty darn awesome. Trouble is, my cats think I’m opening a bag of kitty treats when I go to snack on some, so they come a runnin’.
My other new favorite nutty goodness is Planters Black Label Belgian chocolate covered mixed nuts. Both milk and dark. Freakin’ expensive at $5 for 7oz, but damn they are good.
Salty nuts are the best!
angry bob likes these for making little trails to lure hippies into the woodchipper.
If you don’t like this product, you must be just plain nuts!
Well, maybe not. I actually haven’t tried it or seen it for sale yet.
$6 for only 5 OUNCES ?
We are seriously lazy if we can’t crack a hammer at our bars and mix them up with whatever raisins, etc. I wonder who the genius at the company was to come up with this idea.
Hey, no hatin’ on the hippies, they are the ones we see in the downtown squares around the Amtrak stations!! 🙂 Free love peace and all!
So many nut jokes.