I once watched this movie… I don’t remember the exact name, but it was about a ring.
These two small dudes and a schizophrenic frog-man were climbing a mountain, and then they had to throw their wedding ring into a volcano or else some fire wizard would blow up New Zealand or something? I think it was a true story.
Anyway, until today, I thought THAT ring was the worst, most evil ring to ever exist. Then… I tried Snyder’s new Oktoberfest Rings infused with Beer Flavor, and now I’m not so sure.
I reviewed Snyder’s Beer Cheese Pieces in the past and loved them, so while I assumed these cheese-less pretzels wouldn’t stack up, I was still shocked how much I disliked these.
First of all, they’re barely pretzels. These are glorified bread sticks curved into a circle.
They went light on the salt crystals here, and I can only imagine it was in an attempt to let the beer flavor shine, but that “beer” flavor is as dull as dull can be. I’ll give them a tiny bit of credit because I did taste the essence of a sweet lager, or more likely an Oktoberfest-appropriate Marzin-style beer, but it quickly changes as you munch down on the pretzel.
All I could taste after that was, and this is oddly specific, black olive. These taste like someone soaked a breadstick in the water from a can of black olives and then let the breadstick air dry and crisp back up for a few hours. They’re not stale, but the flavor just has an air of staleness to it, like old bread.
I once had “healthy” pretzel twists. They were whole wheat, low sodium, and gluten free, and were one of the biggest buzzkill snacks I’ve ever had. I thought of them immediately while eating these.
I’ll be fair and say that while I sound like a hater, I did eat about 20 in one sitting. I craved something crunchy, but I never shook that weird hint of black olive. I kept thinking the next one would taste better, and it never did. I also never found the crunch all that satisfying.
Look, I love olives, and come to think of it, I’d probably really enjoy a full-blown olive-flavored crunchy snack, but this beer-infused flavor just really didn’t do it for me.
I might as well say I think rings might be the worst pretzel shape while I’m at it. Just give me the classic pretzel knot. I didn’t like a single aspect of these other than the bag with that classic blue Oktoberfest checkerboard pattern.
I wouldn’t even serve these to a frog-man. The shape of the pretzel almost represented my score. You’d be hard-pressed to find a worse bag of pretzels in the aisle. Snyder’s has rows of amazing pretzels, so just get one of them instead. This was a slip-up for the company, but I guess it tried.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m hitting up Google Maps to find the nearest volcano in my area.
Prost!
Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 10 oz.
Purchased at: Shop Rite
Rating: 2 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1oz – 10 pretzels) 110 calories, 2 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.
Thank you for an honest review, not some milquetoast, slightly above average garbage.
That said, I’ll seek these out to try to see if my interpretation of the taste is like yours. Danke!
The review would be just if honest even if they did have a “milquetoast, slightly above-average” opinion about the product they’re reviewing. Very weird to equate feeling very negatively about something with being inherently “honest”.
I don’t think that’s what Stephen M. meant. There’s a difference between a reviewer legitimately having a “milquetoast, slightly above-average” about something and just writing the review that way because they don’t want to be too negative. I’m sure some reviewers out there would temper their criticism, try to find something positive to create “balance,” or just generally avoid the humorously blunt language we got with this review.
Nailed my sentiment, exactly.
Thanks for the funny review.
I was on the fence on whether or not to get these. On one hand, I LOVE pretzels. On the other hand, beer is disgusting af. Glad I read this review first.
Question…is this the lowest rated item on this site?
Nope. Don’t ask me why but a few months ago I went back to the start of the blog & looked at every page. Do I remember most of what I saw? Nope! Did I laugh out loud at this review & actually have tears rolling down my face? YUP!
https://www.theimpulsivebuy.com/wordpress/2004/12/24/maruchan-creamy-alfredo-instant-lunch-ramen-noodles/
Oh my dear…
I think I might have had that once…I either blocked it out, or since it was during my *ahem* “party days” I might not remember it.
Probably a mixture of both!
This really surprised me- I loved the beer cheese ones from last Octoberfest. And I adore black olives, so… who knows? I’ll try them for the hell of it. I mean, it’s only 4 dollars.
A truly excellent review and now I kinda wanta try them
It sounds like the only saving grace for these is that they are the perfect shape/size to wear as a necklace to your local Oktoberfest celebration.
Pretzels that skimp on salt are annoying, frustrating and enraging.
100% agree! Let’s also not forget pointless, tasteless, and boring.
They aren’t that bad …
Grab a plate full and put some nacho cheese on them or can cheese and enjoy OctoberFest.
LOL!
you at 20? yesterday I had one and realized it was terrible and tried it the second time just now and it’s terrible. You can’t be 20 of them.