I’M PISSED OFF!!!
Who the hell are you “texas holdem†and “your lazy ass†and why are you two sending me comment spam that makes absolutely no sense?
“I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it,†says texas holdem. Well you know what, I appreciate that you will die for my right to say whatever I want, so to show my appreciation I want to tell you that you’re a big fat ass.
Also, what’s up with your name “texas holdem?†Let me guess, your tiny brain came up with that name while watching the World Series of Poker on ESPN. You unoriginal bastard!
Okay, calm down. Think of your happy place.
Just do my review on The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People by Dr. David Niven, so I can get happy and not remain SO F#@KIN’ PISSED OFF!!!
Simple secret #90: Surround yourself with pleasant aromas.
Okay, I’ve plugged in an air freshener. Aaaah, the smell of berry, it’s such a pleasant smell.
“There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.†WTF, texas holdem! Have you been watching too much Codename: Kids Next Door on the Cartoon Network?
Calm down. SON OF A BIT…Calm down.
Simple secret #82: Don’t dwell on unwinnable conflicts.
Okay, I can’t beat him. I can’t beat him. I can’t beat him.
But I can imagine giving him a beat down! You’re lucky my pillow isn’t you, because I’ve opened a can of whoop-ass on it!
Be calm. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Simple secret #42: Try to think less about the people and things that bother you.
Okay, I’m clearing texas holdem from my mind.
“3104 please visit us to get your dick up or you can also get a mack over at our beauty site. or clcik this link if you are fat or wnt to seend a card.†What the hell is this, your lazy ass?
If you’re gonna send me comment spam, the least you can do is spell check the crap. Texas holdem spell checks whatever he spews, why can’t you?
Relax. Calm down. Breathe. Don’t forget to breathe.
Simple secret #96: Say “So What.â€
So what if I’m getting comment spam from two punk asses, I’ll just keep deleting their comments and add another Word Press plug-in.
“Proper names are rigid designators.†You know what, texas holdem, I think you’re right about this one, you F#$KIN’ S@%TFACED B#@CH-ASS TURD. (Okay, I could’ve spelled it out, but eh…this is a family blog.)
You like that name? It’s not proper. It’s not rigid. I think it’s perfect for you.
Aaaah, I feel much happier now.
Item: The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People by David Niven, Ph.D.
Purchase Price: $9.56 (Amazon.com)
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: An easy and fast read. I feel much better and happier. Inexpensive book.
Cons: Comment spam sucks.
he bombed my test site the other day to. I hate these texas holdem freaks. what is up with comment spammers. don’t they have anything better to do? do they get paid by the spam message or what?
I got 4 comments from ‘your fat ass’ today. Not impressed! I’ve also had several from that texas holdem one. Grrr.
Poor Marvo 🙁
These guys are the bane of the ‘sphere at the moment. Most people are getting hassled, especially by that young poker chap. Install your comment moderation plugins people (an Impulsive Buy review of WordPress may beg the question why is this not standard?). If you don’t want your blood to really boil then you may want to look away from the screen now….. for those of you still with me, I nearly burst a blood vessel the other day. While mid-surf I came across the ‘holdem poker blog’…. what the?! Much to my dismay, they had comments turned off. Dang!
David: It is not a person, it is a script that cycles through your posts and enters comments automatically. Some people are getting comment spam on posts that are not even published!
Spammers: Leave Marvo the hell alone, he has very important reviews to do! Sheesh!
*hands Marvo a cocktail*
Take a Zanax and call me in the morning.
Sam – I’m really waiting for Word Press 1.3 to see how it handles comment spam. For now I’ve just got comment moderation, which has caught 90 percent of the spam. BUT I’D STILL LIKE TO BEAT THEM DOWN!!!
Busy Mom – I think one cocktail isn’t going to be enough. Can I have the whole bottle?
Aymie – Sorry no prescription drugs, I hate the side effects. Although the side effects of other drugs can be good, like NyQuil because it makes me sleepy.
Great post…. 🙂
Sure!
“Texas holdem” has been spamming me, too! Constantly! BASTAAAAAAAAAARDS!!!! Good luck killing blog spam dead.
*snicker* I’m not getting anyone named texas holdem spamming me, but I keep getting denials on people trying to spam for game sites. Idiots.
Chaos – Thanks! 🙂
Busy Mom – A whole bottle of alcohol and an iPod Photo. You’re the best!
Hugo – You sound angry. I think you need to read this book. It helped me.
Crankydragon – Yes, idiots I’D LIKE TO BEAT DOWN!!!
Hugo – Okay, I guess it didn’t.
Marvo — Nah, I’m not angry so much as I am amazingly irritated to the point of wanting go out and strangle “texas holdem” like a… Well, er, something that can be strangled. Thanks for the lovely publication, though. Yeah, it didn’t do much for me either…
Found you while Blog Explosion surfing, and I have gotten about two hundred comments from these bastard bots this week. It was time to activate the plugin to delete all comments that need approval. But I’ve also turned off email alerts when someone new comments, which is an inconvenience when actual people stop by my blog. Gah!
This guy (who calls himself “bob” in my comment spam) hit my site at the same time that my MT-Blacklist installation went down. Back up now, fortunately – which I’m sure puts a crimp in bob’s boxers.
I loved this entry and I totally feel for you! Constructive critisism is good, but not annoyingly frequent basis!
Awesome blog, keep writing. Thanks for giving me one more book I want to buy ^_^
~Marvi
It was worth reading this post, just to hear someone use the phrase “whoop ass” again. There really needs to be more Whooping of the Ass, I say.
Daria – TWO HUNDRED COMMENTS!!! If anyone should be mad, it should be you.
Zero Boss – Now ‘your fat ass’ has changed its name to ‘video poker.’ I’m sure sooner or later ‘bob’ will be showing his fat ass on my site. BTW, thanks for the link on your site.
Marvi – Thanks.
Mia – The kids don’t use “whoop ass” anymore? I’m so not with it. 🙁
go to your CP, then options, then discussions ..and choose some keys words based on the spammer. it will hold those comments for approval or deletionnnnnnnnn!! YAY!!
oh btw, thx for the link ..i also linked you back
🙂
cafeRg – Holy crap! I didn’t see that before. Man, I’m so blind. Thanks.
You know, I’ve never had this problem. I use haloscan for my comments and I think it’s safe from that kind of spamming. So that when I first read your entry, I thought you were starting to loose it. I was going to suggest that you seek a ct scan when I read the comments and realized that your problem is shared by many. Looking forward to the next review. BTW, isn’t David Niven an actor? When did he find time to get a PhD and write a book? :p
shannonblogs – I’ve been thinking about Haloscan, but we will see. David Niven is an actor, too? Wow. He is now my new idol, replacing Anthony Robbins.
I’ve read that WP 1.3 has the auto-close comments plugin integrated to try to get rid of spam. But I guess that’ll just mean that they start spamming the new posts as well.
Marvo, I have read a lot of people complaing lately that when they install haloscan… they lose all their previous comments. Something to keep in mind.
Jenny and Sam – Well I just installed the auto-close comments plugin and I’ll see how that goes. It’s very rare that anyone posts a comment for an older review, so I figure why not close them.
Let me know how it goes, Marvo – I’ve read that it works well. I’m going to install it myself if my computer decides to start working.
LOL. Thanks for that. Made my day 🙂