NEWS: Taco Bell Releases The (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New)

Marvo Fast Food News

#076 Taco Bell Cheesy Beefy Melt

This week, Taco Bell introduced the (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New).

The (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New) is made with (Insert Here The First Five Taco Bell Ingredients That Pop Into Your Head. Don’t Worry, I Guarantee You’ll Get At Least Three Out Of The Five Right. And, If You Don’t Get All Five, Congratulations, You Might’ve Invented A Future Menu Item That Taco Bell Will Claim Is New But Won’t Seem New).

So, basically, the (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New) is a (Insert Here Older Taco Bell Limited Time Offer That Also Didn’t Seem New When It Was Introduced) with (or without) (Insert Here Random Taco Bell Ingredient Selected By Using a Ouiji Board That’s Being Manipulated By The Spirit of the Taco Bell Chihuahua).

The (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New) weighs 206 grams and has 470 calories, 20 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 1120 milligrams of sodium, 52 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, and 19 grams of protein.

The (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New) will be available for a limited time and retail for (Insert Here Special Price That’s Under $1) at participating restaurants.

8 thoughts to “NEWS: Taco Bell Releases The (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New)”

  2. I am reminded of an old Onion article titled “Taco Bell’s Five Ingredients Combined In Totally New Way”.

  3. I don’t know how many times I’ve rolled up to a TB and ordered something out of habit that was no longer on the menu but the person inside said “I’ll make you a (insert item that is on the menu) and just leave out ingredient “X”.

  4. I was watching baseball a couple nights ago and saw an ad in the ballpark. I thought ‘Hey, a new product, maybe I’ll go try it’… then I started thinking about it… What the hell is new about it? What am I supposed to write about? “Um, these are the same products Taco Bell puts on everything. They were average”???

  5. It’s stoner food, so whoever perceives this as ‘new’ will eat it anyway like a completely irrelevant food item. Hashish can be one hell of a hunger machine.

  6. I always see these complaints about Taco Bell and I don’t understand what all the fuss is. Its a burrito. What would you like them to do that would make it different than previous LTOs? Should they make it with pony meat and turnips?

    McDonald’s and other places are guilty of the same thing. They take a burger or chicken patty and put a different cheese/sauce/vegetable on it and suddenly it is a totally new menu item.

    I don’t get it.

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