REVIEW: Coca-Cola Orange Cream

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I have to admit, I was a big fan of the Coca-Cola Orange Vanilla (and that hilarious car chase commercial) from a few years back. So when I heard the company was dropping a new Orange Cream flavor, I was pretty excited.

I mean, like, stalking and refreshing the Walmart app, waiting for it to show up within a 50-mile radius of me excited.

At last, after a few false alarms and failed attempts, it’s mine. All mine.

If I were to arrange the words “Orange Cream Coke” by the strength of the flavors in this beverage, they’d be in the reverse order: “Coke Cream Orange.”

The Coke flavor, that familiar kind of spicy, kind of earthy taste, is first and foremost as it should be. The cream flavor comes next, but it’s a bit tangy and has an almost yogurt-like taste, although not too strong. Then comes the orange at the end, even fainter in its flavor. The aftertaste is also orange-y, but in an even more mild way. What’s missing is that sweet vanilla-y, almost cream soda flavor the previous incarnation from 2019 had.

The orange has that artificial citrus quality, kind of like orange gummies or Kool-aid do, but in a pleasantly mild, background note kind of way.

This soda isn’t bad, but it’s not great, either. As a fan of the aforementioned Coca-Cola Orange Vanilla, I have to say I’m a bit disappointed. It’s not as well-rounded or boldly flavored as its predecessor. But if you’re looking for a soft drink to fill the void that the other one left in its wake, it’s not a bad option.

Purchased Price: $2.38
Size: 20 fl oz bottle
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 bottle) 240 calories, 0 grams of total fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 55 milligrams of sodium, 65 grams of total carbs, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 65 grams of total sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Aqua Blast Gatorade

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As soon as I saw the bottle, I was hooked by the 80s retro yet somehow modern vibes. A bit of vaporwave never hurt anyone!

I wanted to go into this review blind, so to speak, so I avoided looking up what flavor it was supposed to be. If the aqua and purple were any indication, maybe grape? Blue raspberry? Dragonfruit?

Bzzztt! Wrong!

Upon opening the bottle, I was immediately hit with that sort of tangy, sharp-yet-sweet scent I usually associate with tropical fruit-flavored candy. Pouring some into a glass, the aqua hue mimics the exterior wrap on the bottle. Very neon, very aqua.

Having had a lot of Gatorade, I expected it to smell a lot stronger than it tasted, and it didn’t disappoint in that regard. The flavor is very much a sort of toned down pineapple gummy bear with a hint of something else, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on, all wrapped in that sort of salty background note that electrolyte-enhanced beverages all have in common.

I took a few more sips and decided the flavor was probably a very pineapple-forward tropical fruit. Then I Googled and found out it was supposedly pineapple mango. I have to admit, I really don’t taste mango at all. Just a vague hint of something tropical beyond the pineapple. You could have told me it was pineapple guava or pineapple papaya, and I wouldn’t have doubted it.

In conclusion, it’s not bad. If Gatorade is your jam, you’ll probably like this one, especially if you like artificial pineapple-flavored things.

Purchased Price: $1.72
Size: 28 fl oz bottle
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Per Serving: 80 calories, 0 grams of total fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of total carbs, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 21 grams of total sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Mountain Dew Baja Dream Freeze

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A small chunk of my misspent youth was… well, spent in an area of the western US known for dirty soda. If you’re not familiar with it, a dirty soda is basically soda with cream of some sort mixed in, kind of like a less frozen version of a float or an ice cream soda. Similar vibes. We usually made ours with Dr Pepper and coffee creamer.

Anyway, as of late, it seems like variations on dirty soda have been spreading beyond the area they originated from, and the Baja Blast Dream Freeze feels in line with that trend.

If you haven’t had Baja Blast, it’s a lime-forward Mountain Dew flavor created for and available at Taco Bell in both standard soda and freeze/slushy versions. The new “Dream” versions incorporate “vanilla crème.”

I actually liked this freezy, cool concoction a lot! The vanilla crème brings out the lime flavor in a really pleasant way, reminiscent of lime sherbet. It mellows out the sharper notes and rounds out the overall citrusy edge of the Dew nicely, and finishes with a nice sweet aftertaste.

The vanilla crème doesn’t change the consistency at all, which I found surprising. I expected that adding the cream in would make it, well, creamier or at least somewhat richer the way adding coffee creamer to Dr Pepper does. However, it still has the same texture as any other Taco Bell Freeze but with a nice complementary flavor enhancement.

I hope this one sticks around for a while because I’ll definitely be ordering it along with my Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Taco Supremes for as long as it’s available.

Purchased Price: $3.69
Size: Large
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 230 calories, 1 gram of total fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 55 milligrams of sodium, 59 grams of total carbs, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 57 grams of total sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Cheese Pizza Cheetos Puffs

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Cheese pizza-flavored Cheetos Puffs? Why not? I like Cheetos. I like pizza. Two great tastes that taste great together?

Kind of.

As soon as I opened the bag, I was walloped with the familiar scent of Cheetos, layered beneath a hint of tomato and a punch of basil.

Basil, you ask? Yep, I was equally as confused. Unless I’m ordering a margherita pizza, I don’t typically expect basil to be among the predominant flavors in my pizza, especially not a cheese pizza, which by its very nature is assumed to be pretty basic, right? And yet, its presence was undeniable. Basil just feels a bit too “fancy” for lack of a better term.

Appearance wise, these are puffy Cheetos, the same ones you’ve come to know and love… just a hint redder in their orange-ness. Never fear, though! They will leave your fingers equally cheese dusted.

And now for the part you’ve all been waiting for… how did they taste?

Exactly like they smell: Cheetos, with a hint of tomato and a heavy pinch of basil for some reason. The basil flavor really does steal the show, edging out the tomatoes and even the cheese to take center stage. Now, I don’t have anything against basil, but it really feels out of place here. Maybe if they’d been called Margherita Pizza Cheetos Puffs, or even just Pizza Cheetos Puffs, it wouldn’t seem so… wrong. I feel like calling them specifically “Cheese Pizza Cheetos Puffs” and featuring a slice of pizza on the bag with not a hint of green in sight misaligned my expectations.

I was hoping for a fond callback to my beloved Keebler Pizzarias Cheese Pizza flavored chips (RIP), instead I got some cheese, some tomato sauce, and a whole lotta basil to drown them out.

Purchased Price: $5.39
Size: 8 oz bag
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 150 calories, 10 grams of total fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of total carbs, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 1 gram of total sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Trolli Gummi Pop

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Being a fan of all things sour, I’m certainly no stranger to the Trolli brand… I also really love popsicles, so I figured I had a good idea of what I was getting into. Well, dear Impulsive Buyer, I’m here to tell you that I was 100% wrong.

These are, in a word, weird. In two words, they’re very weird. That’s not to say that they’re bad, not exactly, or that you shouldn’t try them. I’m just hoping that some of you will be better informed than I was before jumping into this big old pop of strange.

The flavor is great. Very reminiscent of a good Sour Brite Crawler but kicked up a notch, although not in sourness. I actually found these to be even less sour than the aforementioned Sour Brite Crawlers themselves. My Walmart, unfortunately, only had the Cherry Lemon variety, but I like both of those flavors, and that turned out to be important, as they are strong despite their frozen state. They never reach cloying or unpleasant levels at all, but both the lemon and the cherry are most assuredly there, and they announce their presence with gusto!

Next, we have no choice but to talk about the texture. It’s not gummy at all, like I’d been expecting, but nor is it exactly a popsicle either. Rather, it exists in some unique, third state…maybe even a different state of matter entirely, somewhere between Jell-O and an Italian Ice. The only thing I’ve ever tasted that even comes close to this texture was a “Not Melting Popsicle” from Kanazawa Ice I had while on a trip to Japan. It’s wholly unique, but not terrible, at least not once you get used to it.

Trolli Gummi Pop Cherry Lemon 4.

Did I hate these popsicles? No. Did I enjoy them? Also, no, but not as strong of a “no,” if that makes sense. I liked them enough to finish the box, and I’d probably buy the blue variety if I happened to see them (even if just to try that texture on my favorite flavor).

Purchased Price: $4.97
Size: 10 pops
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 pop) 70 calories, 0 grams of total fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 0 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of total carbs, 0 gram of dietary fiber, 15 grams of total sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.