Author: Brandon

REVIEW: Sonic Steak Butter Bacon Cheeseburger

Brandon 3 Comments

Sonic Steak Butter Bacon Cheeseburger

Taco Bell catches a lot of flak for taking the same three ingredients and turning them into any number of new product offerings. And this is a fair criticism, but it isn’t all that different from what most other fast food purveyors do with their LTOs. I mean, unless you’re Arby’s giving me strange and exotic meats, you’re probably just rearranging the stuff you already had in the kitchen.

And if you’re Sonic, one of your go-to schticks is taking your standard bacon cheeseburger and imbuing it with some sort of butter. In October 2019, we reviewed the Garlic Butter Bacon Burger. In March of 2021, we did their Mesquite Butter Bacon Cheeseburger. And now the fast food chain is back at it with the Steak Butter Bacon Cheeseburger. Aside from the key ingredient — “a rich and creamy butter made with steakhouse seasoning” — this thing has two slices of American cheese, bacon, grilled onions, and mayo.

Sonic Steak Butter Bacon Cheeseburger Whole

Here’s where this burger excels — it proudly and unashamedly assaults your arteries with each bite and forgoes all unnecessarily healthy pleasantries like “lettuce” and “tomato,” aka The Devil’s Burger Toppings. From the greasy, crispy, salty bacon, to the salty, creamy steakhouse butter, from the salty, creamy mayo, to the melty, salty American cheese, this burger is… well, in a word, salty.

Here’s where this burger fails — did you see how many times I used the word salty in the previous paragraph? And honestly, I may’ve been selling it short. This thing was a salt lick. And this is coming from a guy who has an incredibly unhealthy love for all things sodium. But the butter coupled with the bacon and the beef and the cheese is a lot. To be honest, doing away with one of the cheese slices might’ve been a good move; as it stands, the cheese essentially overwhelms everything else.

Additionally, I’m not sure what makes this butter “steakhouse” butter. All the butter does is melt, and you’re left with a shiny, greasy, delicious meat patty. But I didn’t notice anything distinctly “steakhouse” about it.

Sonic Steak Butter Bacon Cheeseburger Split

So, in the end, this is a fine burger. It’s cheesy and greasy and EXTREMELY salty, but sometimes that’s just what you want. It is not, however, groundbreaking or innovative. So if you’re expecting “steakhouse butter” to be something revelatory, disabuse yourself of that notion. Oh, and by the way — ask for extra napkins. The attire-decorative properties of this thing are pretty groundbreaking.

Purchased Price: $5.89
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 980 calories, 39 grams of fat, 21 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 120 milligrams of cholesterol, 1910 milligrams of sodium, 50 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, and 39 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Hot Honey Pringles

Brandon 4 Comments

Hot Honey Pringles Can

What is it?

America’s preferred cylindrically containered potato crisp (fight me, Stax) unleashes what probably has to be its 900th variety, Hot Honey. The flavor, if you’re unfamiliar, is sweet like honey but is also spicy (hence the “hot”). It has recently been involving itself in things ranging from fast food chicken sandwiches to ice cream to frozen pizza from a rap-maker named Lil’ Yachty.

How is it?

Hot Honey Pringles Closeup

It’s fine. That’s all — fine. You’ve got your regular Pringles salty crispness, but you get an immediate mild undertone of honey. And it is very honey-esque, don’t get me wrong. (And not just, you know, artificial sugar dust, I mean.) It takes a few crisps before the heat begins to build, and it eventually does, but it is manageable and mild.

Anything else you need to know?

This is a Walmart exclusive flavor (along with a re-release of the Philly Cheesesteak variety), so if you don’t have a Walmart near you, (a) how is it possible to not live near a Walmart; (b) that’s honestly pretty cool; (c) you’re not missing much unless you’re a Pringles completist; and (d) okay, but seriously, doesn’t EVERYWHERE have a Walmart?

Conclusion:

Hot Honey Pringles Cluster

On our “Spotted” post regarding the Hot Honey Pringles, the caption said something to the effect of “I’m surprised they didn’t add chicken to this,” and that is 100% spot-on and likely would have transformed an extremely one-note chip into something much more fun to eat. As it is, I won’t exactly miss this when it’s gone.

Purchased Price: $1.98
Size: 5.5 oz can
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 oz) 150 calories, 9 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 105 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of total sugars, less than 1 gram of fiber, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Van Leeuwen Tapatio Mexican Hot Chocolate Ice Cream

Brandon 13 Comments

Van Leeuwen Tapatio Mexican Hot Chocolate Ice Cream Pint

After toiling away on reviews of Van Leeuwen’s seasonal offerings (this past Summer’s releases and the very recent Fall releases), I finally got my hands on one of the “weird” ones. And while I haven’t even actually tried one of the previous novelty concoctions, I’ve read and watched enough reviews that I get the gist: the pizza, Kraft Macaroni & Cheese and Grey Poupon ice creams all taste exactly like what they’re supposed to taste like, it’s honestly not as off-putting as the reviewer thought it would be, and they’re glad they tried it but probably wouldn’t do it again.

So, then, what about Van Leeuwen’s Mexican Hot Chocolate featuring Tapatio Hot Sauce? Would it follow this extremely established and scientifically vetted pattern?

Not really. I’ll explain.

First, I didn’t think it sounded very off-putting at all, really, maybe owing to the fact that, unlike pizza or cheesy pasta, hot chocolate (even spicy hot chocolate) is already pretty dessert-y.

Van Leeuwen Tapatio Mexican Hot Chocolate Ice Cream Top

Second, I’ve never actually had Mexican hot chocolate, so I cannot tell you whether the taste of the ice cream mimics the beverage in question. What I can tell you is that, 1) there was a lake of fudge, 2) there was a mountain of marshmallows, and 3) the ice cream was standard chocolate, until, you know, the heat.

Van Leeuwen Tapatio Mexican Hot Chocolate Ice Cream Marshmallows

And let’s talk about the heat. I wouldn’t call it a distinctly Tapatio taste, at least not at first. Things get warm with the first bite, sure, starting in the back of the throat where your swallow bones are located. Then it spreads forward like an army of angry villagers carrying torches up to the tip of your tongue. While I never found myself needing to drink milk and/or blow my nose, I could feel it up through my sinuses after only a minute or two. And it stayed. After a while, though, the vinegary flavor of the Tapatio began to register. That wasn’t my favorite part, honestly, but I will say that it made for a good place to stop my consumption.

Up to that point, it was all quite enjoyable. The marshmallows and fudge were very reminiscent of Van Leeuwen’s Campfire S’mores, which I absolutely loved. (I’m not sure anyone in the freezer aisle does those two inclusions better than Van Leeuwen, honestly.) The ice cream, too, was nice; I’ve not previously had their chocolate base, and they do it well.

This brings me to the third point of the review pattern: Jun K. Reviewer thought it was fine and interesting and all, but they wouldn’t eat it again. And, okay. Maybe I’m in agreement here. While this is a perfectly fine ice cream, I’m not sure if the mood will ever strike me to buy it again. I guess maybe I’m just not a “spicy chocolate” person. But maybe you are! And I feel like if you are, there’s a good chance you’ll really like what they’ve done here.

Purchased Price: $4.98
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 280 calories, 14 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 130 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates,0 grams of fiber, 30 grams of sugar (18 grams added sugar), 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Van Leeuwen Walmart Fall 2022 Ice Cream Flavors

Brandon 6 Comments

Van Leeuwen 2022 Fall Flavors Pints

Update 9/9/22: We also tried the Tapatio Mexican Hot Chocolate one! Click here to read our review.

Don’t look now, but the madmen and madladies in the Van Leeuwen Ice Cream flavor factory are at it again. From the demented dessert doctors who previously brought you Mac & Cheese, Pizza, and mustard-inspired ice creams comes their new limited edition Fall offerings at Walmart that are positively… pedestrian?

Well, mostly pedestrian.

See, there’s a Mexican Hot Chocolate version featuring Tapatio Hot Sauce (which wasn’t available during my first Walmart visit, but psssst, check back here in a day or two.) The fact is, other than the Sweet Potato and Marshmallow Casserole variety, these are all kind of straightforward. They even snuck in a Strawberry release (which I couldn’t find, so it’s not reviewed here) and the only weird thing about it is that “strawberry” is one of the least fall flavors imaginable.

Before I tried each flavor myself, and for no real reason other than “this might be funny,” I did a blind taste test with three children — my daughter (Stella, 8) and two of her friends (Emrie, 7, and her sister Norah, 5). “From the mouths of babies,” or whatever that saying is.

Wildberry Layer Cake

Van Leeuwen 2022 Fall Flavors Wildberry Layer Cake

While I couldn’t distinguish individual berry flavors, this was overtly berryish. There weren’t really any large chunks, but almost every bite was fruitful. The yellow cake was there, but it didn’t do much, flavor-wise. Texturally, it added an odd chew; it frankly seemed like an unnecessary inclusion. Norah shouted, “RASPBERRY BREAD!” And one of the other two made a puking noise. I actually enjoyed it a bit more than “puking noise.”

Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 270 calories, 16 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 95 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 24 grams of sugar (18 grams of added sugar), and 4 grams of protein.

Hazelnut Fudge Cookie

Van Leeuwen 2022 Fall Flavors Hazelnut Fudge Cookie

Okay, so the kids’ reviews on this one ranged from “it tastes red” (?) to “cinnamon? Or chocolate-vanilla-banana!” Kids are bad at this. Anyway, the fudge here is overwhelming, but in a delightful way. (But is there any other way for fudge to be overwhelming?) That said, I couldn’t detect much in the way of hazelnut. The “cookies,” according to the label, are “Speculoos,” which I had to Google. They are a “Belgian shortbread biscuit” with a gingerbread-like flavor. Mostly, they just tasted like crumbled-up cookie bits. Still a winner, though.

Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 310 calories, 17 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 85 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 37 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 27 grams of sugar (22 grams of added sugar), and 5 grams of protein.

Sweet Potato Marshmallow Casserole

Van Leeuwen 2022 Fall Flavors Sweet Potato Marshmallow Casserole

The one I expected to like the least turned out to be my favorite. With whole mini marshmallows (taking me back to their Campfire S’mores variety, which I passionately love) and mild notes of cinnamon and caramel that carry throughout, SPMC is creamy and sweet and sinfully delicious, a surprise given that I generally don’t care for the actual Thanksgiving side dish. All of the girls picked up on the caramel and marshmallows (obvious flavors), and they all loved it until I told them what it was. Then it was “disgusting” and “are you kidding me?!” Kids are the worst.

Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 290 calories, 15 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 85 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 33 grams of sugar (20 grams of added sugar), and 4 grams of protein.

Pumpkin Cinnamon Roll

Van Leeuwen 2022 Fall Flavors Pumpkin Cinnamon Roll

And now, the one that I was expecting to like the most, but… okay, well, I didn’t like it the least, but I will say that I was pretty disappointed. See, I’m a Pumpkin Guy. I’m a Cinnamon Roll Guy. Ergo… I mean, come on! But here’s the deal— there was a TON of caramel. And that’s fine, but what WASN’T fine was the complete lack of pumpkin. And while there were cinnamon roll bits, they were small and muted in taste, leaving me once again pining for my beloved Ben & Jerry’s Cinnamon Buns (aka the worst discontinuation they’ve ever made). On paper, this had the chance to be amazing. In reality, it was only meh. One of the girls said it tasted like “caramel corn,” and my daughter, weirdly, said this one sounded gross. Like… the actual sound in the bowl. Yeah, I don’t know.

Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 300 calories, 17 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 85 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 29 grams of sugar (24 grams of added sugar), and 4 grams of protein.

Purchased Price: $4.98 each
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Walmart

REVIEW: Sonic Chophouse Cheeseburger

Brandon 8 Comments

Sonic Chophouse Cheeseburger Whole

Thanks to Patrick Mahomes, King of Kansas City (with all due apologies to Roger Miller [and props to the eight readers who will get my archaic reference]), my city and its surrounding suburbs are now home to several Whataburger restaurants.

Now, because there isn’t a particularly close one (yet), and the lines are still at the “OMG OMG OMG, WE’VE GOT A NEW _____” stage, I still haven’t had it. But from what I can tell, it’s like a lot of these things in that people either swear by it, or they don’t think it’s anything too special. What both camps seem to do, however, is compare it to Sonic. (Maybe it’s an Oklahoma/Texas bitter rivalry thing?)

Anyhow, I’ve had Sonic all my life, and in the chain burger hierarchy, I think they’re in my top 3. (Or maybe top 5. I’d probably have to give it some deeper thought.) And while Sonic tends to knock it out of the park on their standards — the chili cheese coney, the bacon cheeseburger, the tots, and the onion rings — its LTOs are much more hit or miss.

It’s my sad duty to report that the new Chophouse Cheeseburger is in the latter camp.

Sonic Chophouse Cheeseburger Top

It features Sonic’s beef patty topped with “Chophouse aioli,” fried onion strings, and two slices of American cheese, all situated on a toasted brioche bun. Now, some collateral I came across in my research suggests that the patty is seasoned with “Montreal steak seasoning,” but other things — including the app — don’t mention this. Did I notice a different seasoning on the patty I consumed? I mean… eh? I thought I noticed something, maybe, but it’s hard to tell if I was willing myself into tasting a deviation from a standard Sonic patty or if there was actually something there. In either case, it wasn’t enough to make much of a noticeable difference.

The same is true of the “Chophouse aioli,” a lackluster, oily substance that added absolutely nothing. It barely registered, giving me no sense of what I was supposed to be experiencing. What is chophouse aioli, anyway? Fancy steak mayo? To be fair, and as evidenced by the picture, the burger technician had a very light sauce hand.

Sonic Chophouse Cheeseburger Split

What this burger had plenty of, however — too much, in fact — is cheese. Honestly, one slice would have sufficed, as the standard melty Americanness overwhelmed everything except the meat. The fried onion straws added a nice textural element and a welcome sweet component to contrast the saltiness of the proceedings. The brioche bun — which Sonic has used on multiple other burgers — was pedestrian but held up well, as it typically does.

While I appreciate Sonic’s regular efforts at giving customers something new, the Chophouse Cheeseburger doesn’t feel like it’ll create any long-lasting memories, nor will it convince any Whataburger die-hards to switch allegiances.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, maybe I’m finally ready to go sit in a drive-thru for 45 minutes to see if “spicy ketchup” is worth it.

Purchased Price: $5.49
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 980 calories, 69 grams of fat, 18 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 110 milligrams of cholesterol, 1610 milligrams of sodium, 57 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 32 grams of protein.