Denis

REVIEW: Blue Bell Salted Caramel Brownie Ice Cream

Denis / September 26, 2022 / Reviews / 6 Comments

What is it?

Continuing the Blue Bell tradition of generally using the most straightforward name possible, the new Salted Caramel Brownie flavor contains exactly what you would expect: chocolate brownie pieces with a salted caramel swirl in vanilla ice cream.

How is it?

It’s good.

OK, I guess I’m contractually obligated to provide a longer answer, so let me expound a bit. The brownies are the best part of this, although they seemed to be somewhat sparsely mixed into my pint. When I did get a brownie piece in a bite, it was perfectly chewy and chocolatey. The problem was most bites didn’t have any brownies.

The caramel swirl was also pleasant. It had only a subtle saltiness and a nice creaminess that reminded me of a Werther’s Original caramel, even though I can’t remember the last time I’ve actually had one of those.

The vanilla ice cream was kind of just there to hold the brownies and caramel. This might have been a bit better if the ice cream base was either chocolate or caramel, but Blue Bell didn’t consult with me for some reason.

Anything else you need to know?

The “swirl” part was a bit different than I expected. Especially with caramel, it seems like a swirl usually consists of significant pockets of the gooey stuff that looks like rivers flowing through the ice cream. But for this flavor, you don’t get those big pools of caramel in different spots. Instead, it’s more evenly dispersed, so you get some in virtually every bite, even if it’s a little hard to see the caramel. As much as I like finding those nice mother lodes of swirl, I also enjoyed this version where it’s almost blended in.

Conclusion:

This flavor falls into the broad category of PGBF, or Pretty Good But Forgettable. The brownies are good, the caramel swirl is good, and the vanilla ice cream is good, but this one doesn’t really differentiate itself from any other caramel brownie options that are out there.

Purchased Price: $3.29
Size: One Pint
Purchased at: H-E-B
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 240 calories, 12 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 25 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Cinnamon Roll Centers Blizzard

Denis / September 2, 2022 / Reviews / 10 Comments

What is it?

Dairy Queen’s Cinnamon Roll Centers Blizzard is the Co-September Blizzard of the Month (along with the Pumpkin Pie Blizzard) and also part of the Fall Blizzard Menu. This one has soft cinnamon roll center pieces with brown butter cinnamon topping and DQ soft serve.

How is it?

I’ve never met a Blizzard that I didn’t like…until now. I thought this new flavor might be good after reading the description, but I was wrong. Very wrong.

I think we can all agree that the center is the best part of a cinnamon roll. To me, the center part is wonderful because it’s soft, gooey and decadent. But these pieces had a strange texture and taste. They were a bit gritty, not really soft and didn’t even taste much like a cinnamon roll. They just tasted like semi-sweet pieces of cookie dough.

And things did not get any better by avoiding the cinnamon roll pieces and just eating the ice cream with the cinnamon topping. I could tell the topping was in there because of the color, but it had only a faint cinnamon taste. This one was just disappointing all around.

Anything else you need to know?

Since this Blizzard isn’t particularly good to eat, perhaps you’d prefer it as a scented pillow? While the details are somewhat vague, the DQ website is promoting “The Fall Blizzard Menu Pillow Fight,” which is a collection of pillows that are supposed to smell like Blizzards. Most of the pillows appear to the standard square variety, but there’s also one in the form of a slice of pumpkin pie and another in the shape of a cinnamon roll. The website says to check back on September 7 for more information on how to order, or maybe win a set as there looks to be a sweepstakes component to this promotion.

Conclusion:

I’m guessing I’ve had at least 100 varieties of Blizzards over the years, and this might be the first one that I didn’t not finish. It’s just not good. But I will happily forgive DQ for this dud considering all the delicious Blizzards I have previously enjoyed.

Purchased Price: $4.49
Size: Small
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Small) 620 calories, 22 grams of fat, 14 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 85 milligrams of cholesterol, 270 milligrams of sodium, 93 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 75 grams of sugar, and 13 grams of protein.

Blizzard Dairy Queen Fast Food Ice Cream

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes Insta-Bowl

Denis / August 31, 2022 / Reviews / 4 Comments

What is it?

It’s Frosted Flakes with powdered milk in a single-serve bowl. All you need to do is add a bit of cold water, and magically you have milk in your cereal! Now that we have sodas and jelly beans with all the flavors of a Thanksgiving meal, this doesn’t seem so futuristic, but it’s a good option when fresh milk is not available.

It’s also available with Apple Jacks, Froot Loops, and Raisin Bran Crunch.

How is it?

Well, it’s a little unnerving to pour water on cereal, and the stirring process needs to be done with some caution as to not crush too many flakes. But in the end, it basically tastes like Frosted Flakes with milk, which I guess is the idea.

There are a few caveats though. First, there’s an odd odor to this after peeling off the top, but I couldn’t quite place it. The best I can do is to say it smelled like a cleaning product, which is not what I’m looking for in a breakfast cereal. Perhaps it was just from the packaging, or maybe powdered milk has a unique aroma. (I have no idea what powered milk smells like on its own, and I didn’t have any on hand to test it).

The milk tasted a bit sweeter than I expected, but that might have been because I let the water sit in the sugar-coated flakes a little too long while I was taking the spectacular photos you see with this review.

I was also surprised that the flakes got soggy within a few minutes, which again could be partly blamed on the photoshoot. But don’t dawdle when you eat this unless you like mushy flakes.

Anything else you need to know?

Do not try eating cereal with only water. Trust me. One of my not-so-proud parenting moments happened when my daughter, a cereal-eating fanatic, was about four years old. One morning, we were completely of milk, likely due to poor planning on my part. Now this was a child whose morning routine was not to be trifled with, so my bold idea that she eat the cereal dry was voted down. Instead, she suggested using water instead of milk. Not wanting to stifle her out-of-the-box thinking, I gave her plan a thumbs up and even assured her it would taste fine, despite knowing it was not likely to end well. And it didn’t. She gagged on the watery cereal in a dramatic way that only a little kid can do, and that day I think she started to think her dad was not quite as smart as she previously thought.

Conclusion:

If you have milk (that’s not expired) sitting in your refrigerator or if you can borrow steal some from the community fridge at work, then obviously that’s a better option. But if your morning is not complete without milk in your cereal and you only have access to water, then this will get the job done for you.

Purchased Price: $1.98
Size: One bowl (1.6 oz)
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 190 calories, 4 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 16 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein.

Cereal Frosted Flakes Kellogg's

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Reese’s Take 5 Blizzard

Denis / August 4, 2022 / Reviews / 2 Comments

What is it?

The Reese’s Take 5 Blizzard is the August Blizzard of the Month, and Dairy Queen says it’s the first time ever that its signature treat contains five flavors, even if the math is a little fuzzy, as I’ll explain. This doesn’t contain pulverized Reese’s Take 5 bars but instead mimics the candy with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, caramel topping, peanuts, and pretzel pieces.

How is it?

It’s a touch disappointing if I’m being honest, and I don’t mess around with dishonesty when I’m talking about Blizzards. Before trying this, I was certain it would land at or near the top of my list of all-time favorites, but it comes up a little short.

For me, there’s just a bit too much going on, and perhaps that’s why DQ has never put five ingredients in a Blizzard. And I’m not even counting this as five flavors anyway. In an actual Take 5 bar, there are five parts, as the milk chocolate lovingly embraces and surrounds the pretzels, peanuts, peanut butter, and caramel, while this Blizzard uses peanut butter cups. Yes, I know PB cups contain peanut butter and chocolate, but for reasons I can’t articulate fully, I just can’t count that as two things.

As for how this tastes, the peanut butter flavor gets lost in the mix, which doesn’t quite seem right for something branded as Reese’s. The pretzels do give it a nice salty component to offset the sweetness, but again, the pretzel taste is hard to distinguish as the pieces have the same kind of crunch as the peanuts. And stop me if you’ve heard this before, but the caramel flavor is somewhat sparse because it’s fighting for attention against all its Take 5 friends. The four (or five) ingredients still combine for a pleasant taste experience, but instead of being distinctive, it’s almost more generic, like it should just be called a chocolatey peanutty Blizzard.

Anything else you need to know?

I guess I haven’t followed candy bar branding closely in recent years because I didn’t realize that this bar was simply called TAKE5 until the “Reese’s” name was added in 2019. Also, Hershey’s needs to hire a proofreader for its website because on the same page, it alternates between a space and no space in TAKE 5 (and the DQ website doesn’t use all caps, so I have no idea what the official name really is). Regardless, Hershey’s has said that the peanut butter in the bar has always been Reese’s since it debuted in 2004.

Conclusion:

Even if you ignore the minor mathematical issues with this Blizzard, it doesn’t quite add up to a perfect 10. It’s good — actually very good — but it’s a classic case of more is not always better.

Purchased Price: $4.49
Size: Small
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Small) 770 calories, 34 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 580 milligrams of sodium, 99 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 76 grams of sugar, and 21 grams of protein.

Dairy Queen Fast Food Ice Cream

REVIEW: Blue Bell Oatmeal Cream Pie Ice Cream

Denis / July 21, 2022 / Reviews / 7 Comments

What is it?

The Blue Bell website describes this new Oatmeal Cream Pie flavor in great detail, and since I assume many meetings and memos produced the synopsis, I’m just going to copy it: “A delicious oatmeal flavored ice cream with hints of brown sugar mixed with soft oatmeal cookies and a vanilla icing swirl.”

How is it?

Is this delicious, as the Blue Bell website promised? Well, almost. Let’s start with the “oatmeal flavored ice cream.” I’m not even sure oatmeal has a flavor, and that’s why you add cinnamon, sugar, fruit, or if you have the imagination of a 5-year-old like I do, gummy bears to your oatmeal. If I did a blind tasting of this ice cream, I’m not sure I would have pegged it as oatmeal flavored, and even with the power of suggestion, I didn’t really get an oatmeal vibe. The “hints of brown sugar” was also a bit of a miss, as it took my complete concentration to just sorta, kinda maybe think I tasted a little bit of brown sugar.

Things do improve substantially for the second half of the description. The oatmeal cookies are indeed soft, as well as pleasantly chewy, and generously mixed throughout the ice cream. There are some good-sized chunks in here. The vanilla icing brings a nice sweetness to the mix with a bit of a different texture that I did like. While this flavor as a complete package doesn’t quite live up to its billing, it’s still pretty tasty.

Anything else you need to know?

Doing these reviews has allowed me to compile plenty of knowledge that, while interesting, is totally useless for any other purpose except for filling space in said reviews. Since the Little Debbie brand is synonymous with oatmeal creme (not cream) pies, it got me wondering if Little Debbie is a real person. It turns out she is, and Debbie McKee-Fowler is no longer little and is now the executive vice president of McKee Foods, which owns Little Debbie. If I ever get on Jeopardy! then maybe that knowledge will pay off, but if not, I’ve just cluttered up my brain – and now yours – with information none of us will ever need.

Conclusion:

This flavor to me is like a band that I wouldn’t pay full price to see because I only like some of their songs. If a friend has a free ticket or I see a discounted Groupon deal, then I’ll probably go, but I wouldn’t have the urge to go out and find tickets myself. I’m going to finish this pint and enjoy it, but next time I’m at the store, I’ll probably buy a different flavor.

Purchased Price: $3.29
Size: One Pint
Purchased at: H-E-B
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 260 calories, 13 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 110 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 25 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein.

Blue Bell Ice Cream