Author: Drew

REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Peanut Butter World and Ben & Jerry’s Volun-Tiramisu

Drew 6 Comments

Ben & Jerry's Volun-Tiramisu and Ben & Jerry's Peanut Butter World

Ah, spring — that magical time of year when a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of ice cream.  And love, I guess, but my wife just gave birth a couple of months ago after a difficult pregnancy, so I’ve been strongly advised to just stick with the ice cream.  Fair enough.

As they’re wont to do, Ben & Jerry have put down their bong and unleashed some new flavors on us.  This time it’s with a valuable social message, encouraging everyone to volunteer in their communities, complete with a website link on the carton to find volunteering opportunities near you.  But not so fast, Walmart shoppers… these are Target exclusive.  Each carton even includes a “Together for Volunteerism” sticker with one of B&J’s cows (also known as “a cow”) posing next to the Target dog, which always looks to me like Spuds MacKenzie passed out and his friends drew a bullseye on his face.  (If you’re too young to know who Spuds MacKenzie is, I hate you.)  Said exclusivity wasn’t any problem for me, but if you live in a Footloose-esque rural community too small or remote to play host to a Tar-jay, you’re out of luck.  Please accept my sympathy, as I try to recall which of the three nearby Targets I bought these from.

Speaking of which, apparently by purchasing this ice cream I’m reaping the benefits of Fair Trade Certified cocoa and coffee.  I’m not at all politically minded and lack the time to watch The Daily Show anymore, so I’m not sure if that means I’m tacitly supporting equitable trade practices.  From what I know of Ben and Jerry, presumably it’s some hippie thing, but as long as I don’t have to give up meat or start wearing Birkenstocks, I’m fine with it.  Of course, the other thing Ben and Jerry are known for is inserting puns into their ice cream names, and these are no exception.  Volun-Tiramisu is almost a little TOO on the nose, but it works.  On the other hand, “Peanut Butter World” confuses me.  After some thought, I decided maybe the implication is that volunteerism will lead to a better world, and “butter” sounds kind of like “better,” so… yeah?  If that’s the case, I have to say they’re really reaching.  Of course, it’s possible all of you got it immediately and can’t imagine how it wasn’t obvious to me from the beginning.  Like how I didn’t realize those “Every kiss begins with Kay” commercials are making a pun about the actual letter “k” until I heard it on a radio show’s “things you just figured out” segment.  It’s embarrassing to find yourself in the same company as people who only just realized why it’s called a QWERTY keyboard.

Ben & Jerry's Peanut Butter World

I was slightly leery of the Peanut Butter World before digging in because peanut butter and I have an understanding: if it brings its friend chocolate, they’re both welcome in my mouth, but I’ve never been willing to buy seats for PB’s solo act.  Turns out I needn’t have worried, as this flavor is composed of really creamy, decadent chocolate with peanut butter swirls in it, along with some chocolate cookie bits.  It’s kind of like eating a cold, liquidy Reese’s peanut butter cup that someone has coated with crumbled Oreos, only way more rich than any Reese’s could ever be.  It is also insanely unhealthy — after a half dozen spoonfuls, I felt suddenly motivated to name my heirs and divvy up my worldly possessions — but that’s the price you pay for supporting a good cause.  At least that’s what I’m telling myself, and you should too.  In any event, it’s worth it, because this is some seriously good ice cream.  There’s just enough peanut butter to remind you it’s there without being overpowering, while the chocolate is definitely dominant.

Ben & Jerry's Volun-Tiramisu

If I was nervous about the Peanut Butter World, I had no idea what to expect from the Volun-Tiramisu.  Tiramisu is such a unique flavor, and I’ve never been the world’s biggest coffee drinker.  But like the peanut butter above, the coffee was noticeable but subdued, enough to make you aware of its presence without taking over.  And I wouldn’t have been able to spell “mascarpone” before buying this ice cream, let alone tell you what it tasted like, but it turns out it’s good, very light and lingering in contrast to the heaviness of the Peanut Butter World.  The carton also proclaims that it has a cocoa dusting, but I wasn’t able to detect any traces of it.  I also don’t think there’s any actual rum in it, although since I was drinking a beer at the same time, I can’t be sure of that.  However, while it was definitely good, a little went a long way.  I’d had my fill after a few spoonfuls, whereas if it weren’t for self-control and shame, I could have easily polished off a pint of Peanut Butter World in one sitting.  That might actually be a plus for Volun-Tiramisu in the sense of aiding your portion control, since while it’s not as bad for you as its partner, it’s not exactly making you thinner with every bite either.

All in all I was pleased with Ben & Jerry’s latest, exclusive offerings.  They’re both tasty, I’m pretty sure Target is slightly less evil than some of the other big box stores, and of course I’m all for encouraging volunteerism.  In a way, anyone who reads this review and decides to buy a pint is supporting volunteerism because of something I did, so hey — you’re welcome, B&J.  I’ll expect the check in the mail.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – Peanut Butter World – 330 calories, 22 grams of total fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of total carbohydrates, 21 grams of sugar, 7 grams of protein. Volun-Tiramisu – 230 calories, 12 grams of total fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of total carbohydrates, 23 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein.)

Other Ben & Jerry’s Peanut Butter World and Ben & Jerry’s Volun-Tiramisu reviews:
On Second Scoop – Volun-Tiramisu & Peanut Butter World

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Peanut Butter World and Ben & Jerry’s Volun-Tiramisu
Price: $3.49 each
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 9 out of 10 (Peanut Butter World)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Volun-Tiramisu)
Pros: Saving the world, one fat ass at a time.  Mascot synergy.  Your peanut butter in my chocolate.  Mascarpone.  Heavy chocolate, light tiramisu.  Ice cream that portion controls itself.  Pimping volunteerism.
Cons: Inscrutable puns.  Carton makes me feel guilty for not volunteering lately.  Failing to comprehend simple ad campaigns.  Need to be doing strenuous volunteer work to burn off all the calories.  Possibly bankrolling Trump 2012.

REVIEW: Peanut Butter Creme Oreo Fudge Cremes and Golden Oreo Fudge Cremes

Drew 5 Comments

Golden Oreo Fudge Cremes and Peanut Butter Creme Oreo Fudge Cremes

A wise yet misunderstood sage once observed that C is for cookie, and that was good enough for him.  It’s hard to argue with truth bombs like that, and I’m not going to try.  If anything, I’ll simply observe that like women, cookies come in all different shapes and varieties, some of which you’ll never be able to get enough of and some of which will break up with you via text message because you’re “too nice,” whatever the hell that means, Rachel.  But unlike women, you’re allowed to keep trying new ones after you settle down, which is fortunate because otherwise this review would be one sentence long and say, “I love chocolate chip cookies and I would NEVER TRY A DIFFERENT ONE NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT BEGGED ME TO EAT IT.” 

Obviously that’s not going to cut it, so last Friday night I put on my finest dress shirt, headed down to the local grocery store and picked up some Golden Oreo Fudge Cremes and Peanut Butter Creme Oreo Fudge Cremes.  I’m not one to brag, but let’s just say they both found their way home with me and leave it at that.

I naively assumed I knew what to expect with these cookies, only to realize how wrong I was once I opened the packages.  The first thing you’ll notice is that they’re pretty slim, about the thickness of a Thin Mint.  (In fact, there’s a mint version of this cookie that I’m guessing tastes exactly like a Thin Mint.)  Ergo, clearly not the “regular Oreo coated with fudge” that I had assumed they’d be.  I can’t imagine why I would have thought that, unless it’s because Oreos have a distinct “cookie/filling/cookie” sandwich configuration that literally everyone in the entire world associates with them.  Don’t ask me why they decided to deviate from that — possibly eating full Oreos covered in fudge would cause your ass to expand so rapidly that you’d give yourself an instant wedgie even if you were wearing boxers.  Or maybe it€™s a cost-saving measure. 

Golden Oreo Fudge Cremes and Peanut Butter Creme Oreo Fudge Cremes Naked

The fact remains that Oreo Fudge Cremes are more like what you’d get if you twisted an Oreo in half and dipped it in fudge, the only real difference being that the peanut butter ones (natch) have PB instead of vanilla creme.  In retrospect I should not have been surprised, as the front of each package has a 3-step illustration showing exactly what I just described: half of an Oreo being covered in fudge until it’s completely coated, the end.  It’s literally so simple that its intended audience of children should be able to grasp it in a second, which does not reflect highly on me.  What can I say, it’s late.

As I mentioned before, the cookies really do closely resemble Thin Mints, just a bit bumpier.  Both kinds, Golden and Peanut Butter, look functionally identical when placed next to each other.  In fact, if you can correctly identify which cookies are which in the picture above and email me your answer, I will send you a hefty monetary prize.  Though I have a nagging suspicion that every single person who guesses is going to be wrong.  Call it a hunch.

Peanut Butter Creme Oreo Fudge Cremes Innards

The peanut butter cookies definitely carry that distinctive PB smell, though it’s not overpowering thanks to the fudgy shell.  They taste decent, but unfortunately suffer from not enough peanut butter flavor… it’s a little too muted.  As my wife quite rightly points out, there are tons of ways to get your peanut butter/chocolate fix, not least of which are Reese’s peanut butter cups.  If there aren’t any PB cups available, these will do in a pinch, but their texture makes them slightly less desirable than the old standby — for some reason the cookie component doesn’t add anything, it just gets in the way of the more pronounced peanut butter and chocolate tastes.  They aren’t bad, but I stop short of being able to highly recommend them either.

Golden Oreo Fudge Cremes Innards

The Golden Oreo Fudge Cremes, on the other hand, are really good.  Here the cookie component doesn’t seem superfluous thanks to the lack of a preexisting peanut butter cup bias, and actually feels a bit crunchier.  Also, the creme filling is a much bolder taste than the peanut butter, which in this case is a good thing.  It feels odd to say this since peanut butter and chocolate are a proven flavor combination, but the components of the golden fudge cremes just mesh a lot better.  And I might just be imagining it, but the flavor seems to linger longer, for what that’s worth.

Be prepared for the fact that even though they come in large packages, there really aren’t that many cookies in there.  I can’t remember exactly how many regular Oreos used to come per package, but I guarantee you it’s more than what each of these packages contained, which makes no sense because these are thinner than regular Oreos, so in theory you should be able to cram more of them in.  Each cookie has its own little individual slot in the plastic container, and maybe there needs to be a little room between them to keep the fudge from melting and sticking all the cookies together, but they don’t need THAT much space.  At least part of that is profit inflation, so while these aren’t ridiculously expensive products, you’re not getting everything you could be either.

I don’t have much else to say without resorting to mocking Hydrox cookies (you could tell your after-school program already spent their entire month’s budget on softball equipment when they started hauling out the Hydrox, couldn’t you?), and nobody wants to hear that.  I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out how unhealthy these fudge cremes are for you — three cookies account for almost a quarter of your recommended saturated fat intake for the day — but no one buys Oreos because they’re concerned about health, they buy them because they taste good and help to relive your childhood.  On the former count, at least, these cookies mainly succeed, but unless you still have the metabolism you possessed as a kid, tread carefully.

(Nutrition Facts – 3 cookies – Golden Oreo Fudge Cremes – 180 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of total fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 55 milligrams of sodium, 40 milligrams of potassium, 25 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 18 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.  Peanut Butter Creme Oreo Fudge Cremes – 170 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of total fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 100 milligrams of sodium, 80 milligrams of potassium, 23 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 17 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Golden Oreo Fudge Cremes and Peanut Butter Creme Oreo Fudge Cremes
Price: $2.99 per package
Size: 11.3 ounces
Purchased at: Acme
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Peanut Butter Creme Oreo Fudge Cremes)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Golden Oreo Fudge Cremes)
Pros: Om nom nom nom!  Extending cookies/women metaphors to the breaking point.  Both kinds smell really good.  Effective texture in the golden variety, with flavors that mesh well.  Lasting taste.  Nostalgia factor. 
Cons: Getting dumped by text message.  Masquerading as Thin Mints.  Peanut butter variety not as good as PB cups.  Not overwhelming quantities.  Takes a lot of games of freeze tag to burn off the calories.

REVIEW: Tostitos Hint of Pepper Jack Tortilla Chips

Drew 10 Comments

Tostitos Hint of Pepper Jack

I am, at heart, a creature of habit. My wife is constantly irritated with me because she likes to experiment with cooking new foods, whereas I would happily spend the rest of my days eating the same five meals in rotation.  (Pizza, cheeseburgers, pasta, steaks, pancakes/waffles/French toast.  And grilled cheese.)  But honestly, once you find a formula that works, why would you want to mess with it?  I’ll take my Superman sans mullet or electrical powers, thank you.  So I’m always a little leery of the trend among snack food and soft drink manufacturers to be constantly rolling out new flavors.  If I probably won’t like them as much as the regular version and half of them won’t be around in a few months anyway, why bother?

And yet… I like pepper jack cheese.  And I really like Tostitos, for no particularly good reason I’ve ever been able to figure out.  I mean, they’re pretty much just salt and flour, right?  So watching me inhale a bowl of them during football season is basically the equivalent of watching a deer visiting a salt lick, except more pathetic because the deer doesn’t understand the concept of shame.  Nonetheless, as I told my wife, Tostitos were here when you showed up and they’ll still be around when you’re gone, so don’t try to come between us.  She understands.  It’s the same reason you don’t see me making her choose between me and wine, because there are no winners in that game.  Except wine.

The first thing you’ll notice when you open a bag of Hint of Pepper Jack Tostitos is the smell.  Regular Tostitos have an aroma that can best be described as “salt,” but the HoPJ’s definitely have more pop, a bolder scent that fits their in-your-face brand image.  It says that these chips have a statement to make and they don’t give a damn whether you like them or not.  That’s good; I like my snacks with some piss and hellfire to them.  I want chips that, if they were a movie, they’d be played by Samuel L. Jackson with a score by Isaac Hayes, and they’d call you a motherfucker a minimum of three times.  Why?  Because fuck you, that’s why.  Granted these aren’t habanero, but pepper jack often has some bite, so I was hoping the “hint” would turn out to be more of a belt.  I can take it, you sissies.

Tostitos Hint of Pepper Jack 2

Well, I have good news for those of you who read that last paragraph and thought, “Drew, you crazy” — while the chips definitely do taste of pepper jack, they aren’t going to be burning out your sinuses.  They’re eminently eatable for anyone, and that includes me; even if they aren’t overly powerful, they still taste good.  The Tostitos are more tangy than hot, and they have a slight cheese flavor, though not quite as much as I’d like.  My wife claims they taste quite a bit similar to ranch chips, for whatever that’s worth.  Personally I just liked them, though in moderation.  Like bacon-flavored beer, they’re a fun treat and a nice change of pace, but if you had to eat them every day you’d be jonesing for the regular variety before long.  If you’re feeling particularly mischievous, mix some HoPJs in with ordinary Tostitos at your next get-together and watch people’s faces.  Don’t do that with Hint of Lime Tostitos, though.  I once grabbed an innocuous-looking chip at a party and bit down, only to have to restrain myself from spitting it out because of all the people around.  First blood to you, lime chip.

Perhaps the most ringing endorsement I can offer is that after opening the bag, the Hint of Pepper Jack Tostitos lasted a total of 3 days in my house, whereas we still have 2 of chocolate creme Twinkies I reviewed last month left over.  That should tell you all you need to know.  From what I understand, the HoPJs are being treated as a permanent new flavor in the “Hint of” line, but you and I both know chips are only as permanent as there are consumers buying them.  So if you’re worried that these won’t have the mass appeal to stick it out, be sure to pick up a bag now.

(Nutrition Facts — 1 oz./about 6 chips — 140 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Tostitos Hint of Pepper Jack Tortilla Chips
Price: $3.99
Size: One package
Purchased at: Acme
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Five foods is all you really need.  Intriguing smell.  Being played by Samuel MF’ing Jackson.  Edible by masochists and wimps alike.  Tastes good.  Mixing with regular Tostitos and watching the fun.  “Pepper Jack” would be a cool nickname when you’re old.
Cons: One step above a salt lick.  Mulleted Superman.  More of an occasional curiosity than a regular snack food.  Lime chips.  I fought the wine and the wine won.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Hostess Chocolate Creme Twinkies

Drew 23 Comments

Limited Edition Hostess Chocolate Creme Twinkies

I must admit, I’ve always felt like a bit of a traitor eating Twinkies.  See, I grew up in the central Jersey/Philly region, and that’s Tastykake turf.  If you’ve never heard of Tastykake, that just means you live outside the tri-state area — in the old days, the company refused to use preservatives, so their products could only be transported a certain distance before their shelf lives expired.  (This is also why I never bought Tastykakes from vending machines, because seriously, who knows how long that shit’s been in there?)  But as a kid, you don’t care about supporting local businesses or fighting the power — you care about eating the stuff you see on TV, especially if it’s shilled by Twinkie the Kid.  So I ate plenty of Twinkies growing up, both of the regular (mmm) and light (pure, unadulterated taste abortion) varieties.  But in all those years, I never had one that strayed from the vanilla creme standard.  That’s about to change, as Hostess has released two new limited edition varieties of Twinkie, chocolate creme and strawberry creme.  As part of my ongoing quest to never eat a fruit that isn’t apple, we’ll be taking a look at the former.

In contrast to Tastykakes, Twinkies are nothing but preservatives.  If you stripped all the preservatives out of a Twinkie, you’d be left with a 1-inch ball of sponge cake.  It would not surprise me to learn that these “limited edition” Twinkies were originally created to commemorate America€™s bicentennial; they just ended up with a lot sitting around the warehouse afterward, of which you and I are now the lucky recipients.  Not that I care, mind you — no organic food purist I —  but I thought it was worth mentioning.  Really though, people eat Twinkies for nutritional value the same way they go to Hooters for great food at affordable prices.  Let’s just tear into one of these things and see what’s what.

I don’t know if I got a bad batch or if I need to change the prescription on my rose-colored glasses, but the first bite of Twinkie was a huge let-down, and it didn’t improve much from there.  Actually, I suspect it has nothing to do with nostalgia or improper packaging and everything to do with the filling.  Let’s face it, you can get shitty sponge cake anywhere; what people buy Twinkies for is the creme filling.  And as it turns out, there’s a good reason why Hostess uses the vanilla stuff.  I had been laboring under the delusion that chocolate makes everything better, but consuming just one chocolate creme Twinkie showed me just how wrong I was.  It’s my sad duty to report that while chocolate may make MOST things taste better, Twinkies are a tragic exception.  It might just be the flavor combination — I like chocolate creme, I like sponge cake, but put them together and the flavors don’t mesh nearly as well as you’d expect.  If a regular Twinkie is more than the sum of its parts, the chocolate creme Twinkie has to be considered far less.

Limited Edition Hostess Chocolate Creme Twinkies Innards

That wasn’t my only beef… joking aside, these Twinkies might indeed have been produced during the Ford administration for how the sponge cake tasted.  I remember Twinkies from my youth being soft and moist, but these were tougher — not totally stale, but on their way — and kind of dry.  In fact, I’m pretty sure that even if these had had vanilla creme inside them, I still would’ve paused after the first bite to wonder if they’ve changed the way they make Twinkies in the last decade.  If so, I urge Hostess to follow Pepsi’s lead — I want my Twinkies Throwback.

It’s a sad day for any of us when the cherished bits of our childhood are retooled to be more edgy or to have more mass appeal, only to end up sucking harder than letting your wife control the TV.  (We meet again, One Tree Hill.)  We’ve seen it happen with the Transformers and G.I. Joe, with Star Wars, with New Coke.  Fortunately chocolate creme Twinkies are only limited edition, and Hostess has no plans to phase out the regular variety.  That’s good news, and if I were you, I’d stick with the classic.  Points for trying something different, but if you’re going to be ingesting that amount of sugar and carbs, you want it to be worth your while.

(Nutrition Facts — 1 cake — 160 calories, 5 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 220 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 19 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Limited Edition Hostess Chocolate Creme Twinkies
Price: $3.99
Size: 8 cakes
Purchased at: Acme
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Tripping nostalgic.  Being able to keep food on the shelf for longer than a week.  Twinkie the Kid.  Trying something new.
Cons: Bicentennial Twinkies.  Finding out chocolate doesn’t make everything better.  Dry sponge cake.  The Transformers movies.  “Something new” tasting gross.  Brown filling in a Twinkie just looks… wrong.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Eggo FiberPlus Waffles (Calcium Buttermilk & Antioxidants Chocolate Chip)

Drew 6 Comments

Eggo FiberPlus Waffles

“Waffles?” you ask.  “Really, Drew?  The man who reviewed beer for Christmas is a week behind on a review, and when he finally gets it in, it’s waffles?  That’s weak, bro.”  Your scorn is duly noted, and all I can offer in return is that, as the joint creator and co-producer of a two-year-old and a three-week-old, I have not gotten more than five hours of sleep a night in, well, three weeks.  Ergo, I am going to review my effing waffles with fiber, and you will read every damn word I have to say, no matter how little sense it makes or how old it makes me sound.  Are we clear?

The gimmick of Kellogg’s new Eggo waffles is that they’re FiberPlus, boldly proclaimed as 35% of your daily recommended intake of fiber right there on the front of the box.  By way of differentiating the two flavors beyond just “one’s got chocolate chips, the other don’t,” the buttermilk variety touts the word “calcium” on its banner, whereas the chocolate chip version boasts of its antioxidants, including vitamin E and zinc.  I was prepared to laugh my taint off if both versions had the exact same amount of calcium and Kellogg’s was just pretending there’s some health advantages of one over the other, but apparently they are indeed slightly distinct.  According to the nutritional info, the buttermilk variety have a whopping 5% more of your daily recommended intake of calcium per waffle than their be-chipped brethren, but with the trade-off of no appreciable levels of vitamin E or zinc.  This matters to me absolutely zero, but I suppose somewhere there may be someone who has strong, definitive opinions about how much zinc they consume in their breakfast toaster items.  Someday I would like to meet that man and tell him he’s wasted his life.  Then he’ll say I’m pretty judgmental for a guy who’s not wearing any pants, and we’ll both have a good laugh.

Eggo FiberPlus Waffles Naked

My chief concern about the waffles beforehand was the same one I have whenever I try a food purporting to be healthy, which is that too often there’s the inevitable sacrifice of taste for health.  Yes, your unsweetened organic rice cakes may let me live two days longer than if I’d eaten a Twinkie instead, but during that time the thought “Man, those rice cakes really tasted like the styrofoam packing peanuts they were probably made from” will cross my mind at least three times.  (I intend to be very reflective in my final days.)  I’m not interested in improved colon health if the unspoken caveat is that I’m basically eating cardboard.  Fortunately, I can report that the FiberPlus waffles are no worse than other Eggo waffles I’ve had in the past, which also means they’re tastier than your average frozen waffle.

The adjectives most commonly used to denote good waffles are “light and fluffy.” But be honest — when’s the last time you had a frozen food that really qualified as “light”?   I’ll offer that these are fluffy and… semi light?  Light-ish?  Loosely adapted from a work inspired by light?  You won’t mistake them for being freshly made, but they’re probably as non-heavy as you could expect out of frozen waffles.  As for the flavor, extra calcium and fiber or not, nothing tastes “off” about the buttermilk ones.  I could distinctly taste the chocolate chips in the antioxidants variety, and there are a decent (though not overly generous) number of chips in each.  For the price you’re paying, it’s hard to find too much fault with the taste.

In the interest of garnering multiple perspectives, and also because kids gotta eat, I solicited my toddler’s opinions on the waffles as well.  She reported that they taste, quote, “Mmm-hmm,” and expanded on this with, “I get down now?” However, she also ate every bite, which NEVER happens, so that’s kind of the ultimate compliment.  Bafflingly, that was the buttermilk; the next day she ate two bites of the chocolate chip one and then flatly turned it down, proving once and for all that kids are kind of dumb.  She did deign to eat the rest of it that night, and when asked to clarify whether it was “satisfying” or “flavorful,” indicated that it was “favorul.”  If Kellogg’s wants to use that in their new advertising campaign, I’m willing to sign the consent forms.

Finally, I’m not a coffee drinker, but many people are, and between a cup or two of java and these waffles, well… I can’t vouch for it personally, but I could see that being the kind of breakfast that puts a spring in your step and your ass on the john.  I would not schedule a particularly long staff meeting after a venti mocha and a couple of these waffles, is what I’m saying.  On the other hand, happy parents make for happy babies, and what’s more important to long-term happiness than good digestive health?  Maybe I was smart to buy these things after all.  Thanks, FiberPlus!

(Nutrition Facts – 2 waffles – Calcium Buttermilk – 160 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 390 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein.  Antioxidants Chocolate Chip – 180 calories, 7 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 350 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein.)

Item: Kellogg’s Eggo FiberPlus Waffles (Calcium Buttermilk & Antioxidants Chocolate Chip)
Price: $3.39
Size: 8 waffles
Purchased at: Giant
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Calcium Buttermilk)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Antioxidants Chocolate Chip)
Pros: Affordable.  Easy to prepare.  Surprisingly good for frozen food.  Healthier than I anticipated.  Buttermilk = calci-riffic!  Antioxidants are… good, I’m pretty sure?  Keeping the system, uh, well, you know.  “Running smoothly.”  Yeah.
Cons: All baby and no sleep makes Drew go crazy. Not especially light.  Having to decide if it’s worth swapping calcium for antioxidants and chocolate chips.  (Yes.)  Knowing that maple syrup eliminates any pretense of “healthiness.”  Toddler eating habits.