Author: Drew

REVIEW: Michelob Ultra Light Cider

Drew 17 Comments

Michelob Ultra Light Cider

There’s something paradoxical about summer, and I think I’ve pinpointed it. See, it’s the time of the year when you’re showing the most skin, and thus need to be in your best shape; yet it’s also the season when you’re most tempted to eat poorly.

Oh, I’ll grant you winter has Christmas cookies and latkes (where my interfaith readers at?), and autumn doubles up with Halloween candy and Thanksgiving dinner. But those are isolated foods tied to specific holidays. Summer is an entire three months of cooking out burgers and hot dogs, roasting marshmallows over a campfire or bonfire, and drinking beer.

And oh, there are some great summer beers. I’m not much of a hefeweizen fan myself, but there’s summer ales and pilsners and IPAs to slake your thirst and remind you of how great a dancer you really are. But the fact is, alcohol is fattening. There’s no such thing as “beer abs.”

So if you’re going to indulge your vices while wearing something that makes other people want to indulge theirs, you need a low-calorie option. And Michelob has come up with a new diet-friendly solution they hope you’ll consider, called “Drink ’till your friends take your keys, then walk home.” Just kidding, it’s Michelob Ultra Light Cider, with a third fewer calories than traditional ciders.

I’ve had this drink’s spiritual precursor, “regular” Michelob Ultra, numerous times in the past and enjoyed it well enough by light beer standards. The big problem with light drinks is my child-sized bladder, since their relatively low alcohol content means I spend half of every night in the men’s room without getting even a minor buzz.

A glance at the front of the Light Cider bottle reveals that it’s 4.0% Alcohol By Volume, relatively but not ridiculously low. (For comparison, MGD 64 is 2.8% ABV, or what we like to call “German water.”) Still, this cider is more of an “unwind with your friends after a hard day at the office” drink, not one to get trashed on and send embarrassing texts to your high school crush. (She’s happy with Brad. Move on.)

Michelob Ultra Light Cider Bottle

Admittedly I don’t know much about cider, but as the father of two preschoolers, I have a passing acquaintance with apple juice. And when the first sip hit my tongue, my immediate thought was, “This is apple juice.” That impression didn’t much change as I continued to drink. It fizzes more than apple juice, but other than that, if you’re able to detect the alcohol in this cider, you have better taste buds than I. And not that I would ever try, but I’m 99 percent sure I could give this to my 3-year-old at breakfast and she’d drink it without noticing the difference, at least until Curious George started talking back to her.

You may be thinking, “That’s cool, I like apple juice.” And if so, you probably will dig this drink. But Ned Flanders once taught me if it’s tangy and brown, you’re in cider town, and this product is not brown and only slightly tangy. But it IS sweet and yellow, which typically means you’ve got juice there, fella. The ingredient list is no help, since apparently hard cider is just apple juice concentrate with dextrose and water added. Please do me the favor of mentally putting finger quotes around that “hard” part.

In all seriousness, it’s a decent beverage, though it is kind of disconcerting to be drinking something you know is alcoholic but tastes like kindergarten. Be sure to drink quickly, as this cider tastes worse when it gets warm.

On the other hand, you can probably add a point to the rating if you drink it over ice. It’s also gluten-free, so there’s that. I could see this being a good drink for summer cookouts where you need to keep your wits about you for that beach volleyball game after lunch, or when you want a fruity drink but there’s no little umbrellas around. But I also don’t think light beer has any reason to worry about being replaced.

(At the strong prompting of my wife, I’d like to reiterate that, no, I did not give my child this alcoholic drink. Obviously. Child vomit is just WAY too hard to get out of carpet.)

(Editor’s Note/Disclosure: Drew received free Michelob Ultra Light Cider samples from the nice folks over at Michelob. We did not receive any monetary compensation for this review, but if we did, we would totally disclose that too. Also, please drink responsibly.)

(Nutrition Facts – one 12 oz bottle – 120 calories, 0 grams of total fat, 15 milligrams of sodium, 10 grams of total carbohydrates, 6 grams of sugars, less than 1 gram of protein)

Item: Michelob Ultra Light Cider
Price: FREE
Size: 6 pack (12 oz bottles)
Purchased at: Received from nice folks at Michelob
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Doesn’t taste artificially sweetened (because it isn’t). ABV fairly equivalent to most light beers. Low calories and carbohydrates. Good news if you like apple juice. Slightly less girly than an appletini. Christmas cookies and latkes.
Cons: Can’t much taste the alcohol. Feels a little weird drinking cider in summer. Hard to drink a full bottle in one sitting — a little goes a long way. Really tastes and looks more like juice than cider. Tastes definitely takes a nosedive when you let it warm up.

REVIEW: Wendy’s Signature Sides (Mac ‘N Cheese, Baked Sweet Potato, and Chili Cheese Fries)

Drew 11 Comments

Wendy's Signature Sides 2

You know, you’ve got to hand it to Wendy’s — they really are making an effort to step up their game. As we discussed previously, the little red-haired girl is on her toes recently to stay ahead of emerging competitors like Five Guys, despite having recently gone regicidal on Burger King in terms of overall U.S. sales volume. This has led the flame-tressed siren to double down on greater variety and better quality ingredients. Today, we’re looking at the latest result of this rebranding, three new “signature” side dishes.

Though I’ve always been a burger and fries guy, I understand the wisdom of trying to branch out a little with a healthier option (Baked Sweet Potato) and one you normally don’t associate with fast food (Mac ‘N Cheese). The Chili Cheese Fries are obviously more in line with Wendy’s usual offerings, but if you’re craving fast food but are also counting calories, the sweet potato — at least in theory — would make a nice compromise.

Wendy's Mac 'n Cheese

But enough about theory, let’s dive into the food. I began with the Mac ‘N Cheese and was happily surprised with the size of the bowl it comes in. It’s definitely a side dish rather than a full meal, but you get a decent amount of pasta, even if the bottom of the container is a little higher than it looks from the outside. Another nice surprise was the quantity of cheese — the macaroni is literally SLATHERED in it. My wife felt it looked artificial, but I was just impressed by how much of it there was. Of course that’s irrelevant if it tastes like roasted turd, but luckily this didn’t. It won’t win awards for innovation or being haute cuisine, but it’s definitely a solid macaroni and cheese dish with plenty of creaminess and good texture. A little more bite would’ve been great (a small amount of chili powder can really make a mac ‘n cheese), but I have to label this one a definite success.

Wendy's Sweet Potato

Then there’s the Baked Sweet Potato. Confession time, folks: I really had a difficult time with this dish. I love regular potatoes and I’m okay with sweet potatoes mashed or pureed, but this may have been my first experience with a baked sweet potato. Let us say the veiny texture, combined with the gooey cinnamon butter, made me, um, queasy. I don’t blame Wendy’s — it’s my issue, not theirs, and my wife liked it perfectly well — but I could barely stomach more than a few bites. To be fair, the cinnamon butter spread carried a distinct sweet taste that was good on its own, and it was a large potato that should do a nice job of filling you up. Unfortunately, texture was a definite problem, and the taste of the potato itself was not overwhelming. But while I wasn’t a fan, if you know you like baked sweet potatoes, I imagine you’ll enjoy this.

Wendy's Chili Cheese Fries

And finally we have the Chili Cheese Fries. Here’s a good example of how what you eat growing up influences you: when I went away to college, I learned that what I knew as “chili” is what the rest of the world calls “tomato soup with some chili powder and ground beef in it.” It turns out most people put beans and peppers and pieces of tomato in their chili, if you can believe that shit. Unfortunately Wendy’s has opted to use this more “traditional” form of chili on their fries, but for the 99.99 percent of you who didn’t grow up with Chili For Kids Who Won’t Eat Anything, that should be perfectly fine.

As you can see, they didn’t skimp on the chili or the cheese. The number of fries seem fine, not unbelievably generous but acceptable. I thought the cheese tasted okay, though not as flavorful as that found in the Mac ‘N cheese dish. There are a TON of beans, but since you’re eating fries, you need to be using a fork or spoon to really get them in your mouth — trying to consume this dish like regular fries invariably results in eating a fry with some cheese and a little bit of chili residue left on it. I also can’t say there’s a lot of heat to it, so if you prefer your chili with some bite, Wendy’s does not have you covered. Overall it’s a filling side dish and people who enjoy thick, chunky chili will get their money’s worth, though they’ll also be getting their calories’ worth and that of a couple of other people too.

In the final tally, I would get the Mac ‘N Cheese again; it definitely wins the side dishes competition I just made up. The chili cheese fries are in there for the silver medal, if you’re willing to loosen your belt and eat fries with a fork instead of just your hands. Alas, the sweet potato pulls up the rear — it’s a nice thought and the low calorie option is appreciated, but the texture just wasn’t appealing, even if the cinnamon butter was. But as I said, even if they aren’t all winners, kudos to that ginger tart for making the effort. You don’t get better without trying some new things.

(Editor’s Note/Disclaimer: We received a gift card from Wendy’s in order to try their new Signature Side Dishes. Yup, a gift card. Because FedEx-ing the products would’ve been gross.)

(Nutrition Facts — Mac ‘N Cheese — 1 bowl — 370 calories, 170 calories from fat, 19 grams of total fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fatty acids, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 940 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 4 grams of sugars, and 17 grams of protein. Baked Sweet Potato — 1 large sweet potato — 380 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of total fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 240 milligrams of sodium, 69 grams of carbohydrates, 10 grams of dietary fiber, 29 grams of sugars, and 6 grams of protein. Chili Cheese Fries — 1 serving — 570 calories, 270 calories from fat, 30 grams of total fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fatty acids, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 1200 milligrams of sodium, 58 grams of carbohydrates, 8 grams of dietary fiber, 4 grams of sugars, and 18 grams of protein.)

Other Wendy’s Signature Sides reviews:
Grub Grade
Fast Food Geek
So Good Blog

Item: Wendy’s Signature Sides (Mac ‘N Cheese, Baked Sweet Potato, and Chili Cheese Fries)
Price: $2.76 (each)
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Wendy’s
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Mac ‘N Cheese)
Rating: 4 out of 10 (Baked Sweet Potato)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Chili Cheese Fries)
Pros: Non-standard fast food fare. None of the three side dishes skimped in quantity. Mac ‘N Cheese emphasized the “cheese” part and tasted great. Cinnamon butter was sweet and flavorful on its own. Sweet potato is low in fat. Not crazy expensive.
Cons: Seems more expensive when you remember you can get a Jr. Cheeseburger and small fries for the price of a “side dish.” Finding out your entire conception of chili is based on a lie. Texture of the sweet potato. Fries got kinda soggy under all that chili and cheese. Little heat to the chili.

REVIEW: Red Baron Pizza & Sides Pepperoni Pizza & Breaded Mozzarella Sticks

Drew 7 Comments

Red Baron Pizza & Sides Pepperoni Pizza & Breaded Mozzarella Sticks

Believe it or not, Manfred von Richthofen — AKA the Red Baron, the most famous flying ace in history, with 80 confirmed kills — was by his own admission not a great pilot. He was decent, but his younger brother Lothar (with “only” 40 kills) was a much better pilot, though Manfred worried about him because he was reckless and took too many risks. Yes, that’s right: the von Richthofen family produced both a Maverick and an Iceman in the same generation.

If you’re thinking none of that has anything to do with the product we’re reviewing today, well, that’s true; but hell, neither does the Red Baron. I would wager money von Richthofen never ate a slice of pizza in his life. Still, I find this kind of stuff cool, and our review today is of frozen pizza. Let us be perfectly frank and honest with ourselves: that is not the most exciting of food products.

Not that they haven’t tried to sexy it up, though, with the addition of mozzarella sticks. In general I think the majority of frozen pizzas are exactly as good as every other one, but in looking for a way to stand out from the crowd, I’d say the Rittmeister is off to a good start. Pizza and mozzarella sticks are two foods I don’t normally associate with each other, but if your main philosophy in life is that the heart is evil and must be punished, it’s hard to imagine a better one-two punch. (Bacon cheeseburgers and waffles?) The box promises 11-13 mozzarella sticks, which I find hilarious. I’ve seen other boxes for the same product that simply promise 12, so I’m guessing someone raised a big enough stink about how there wasn’t no 12 mozzarella sticks in their dang package that the good folks at Red Baron decided to be on the safe side. (I received an even dozen, in case you were wondering.)

Red Baron Pizza & Sides Pepperoni Pizza & Breaded Mozzarella Sticks Pepperoni Distribution

Pre-cooking, the pizza looked exactly like any frozen pizza would, although as you can see from the picture, the pepperoni distribution was by Picasso. I don’t recall getting into any ’70s cop film-esque car chases on the way home from the grocery store, so I’m going to assume that’s how it was constructed. No problem, redistributing it was easy and the pepperoni was plentiful.

Red Baron Pizza & Sides Pepperoni Pizza & Breaded Mozzarella Sticks Closeup

As for the taste? Well, you’ve all heard the cliche that sex is like pizza: even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good. That’s pretty accurate in that it’s hard to make bad pizza (not impossible, sadly), and this particular one is certainly not bad. Actually, that’s underselling things — it’s honestly pretty good. The cheese was relatively plentiful, the sauce had some decent spices, and the crust was pretty firm. I can’t say it tasted substantially different from almost every other frozen pizza ever, but perhaps a little better. The overall size of the pie was more than plentiful — between this and the sticks, you’re set for at least two meals, maybe even three.

Red Baron Pizza & Sides Pepperoni Pizza & Breaded Mozzarella Sticks Closeup 2

To be honest I was more curious about the mozzarella sticks, since I very rarely prepare frozen ones myself. It’s not exactly a very complex dish, but for my money the easiest way to ruin sticks is to under-spice them. I was worried that would be the case here, but they hit the balance pretty well. On the other hand, the amount of cheese within them was slightly lacking, especially when some of it ran out during the baking process. More cheese would’ve taken them from good to great; Baron, I want you to pretend the mozzarella is machine gun bullets and the sticks are enemy Sopwith Camels. Really pepper it in there.

I’m happy my initial fear about the Red Baron Pizza & Sides Pepperoni Pizza & Mozzarella Sticks — that the Avengers ad would be the most exciting thing about it — was proved wrong. It’s not going to be mistaken for fresh out of a pizzeria’s oven at any point, but for a quick meal that will last for a day or two, it does the trick. (Note, however, that any time you save in food preparation will be more than negated by the extra time you’ll need to spend in the gym working off this gargantuan calorie bomb.) There’s also another entry in the “Pizza & Sides” line that comes with 7-9 Buffalo Wyngs. However, the deliberate misspelling of “wings” means you have only yourself to blame if it turns out you’re actually eating processed chicken anus. Enjoy!

(Nutrition Facts — 1/4 pizza — 370 calories, 140 calories from fat, 16 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 790 milligrams of sodium, 250 milligrams of potassium, 43 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 9 grams of sugars, 15 grams of protein. 4 Mozzarella pieces — 250 calories, 140 calories from fat, 16 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 560 milligrams of sodium, 40 milligrams of potassium, 16 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 0 grams of sugars, and 10 grams of protein.)

Item: Red Baron Pizza & Sides Pepperoni Pizza & Breaded Mozzarella Sticks
Price: $8.99
Size: 1 pizza and 11-13 mozzarella sticks
Purchased at: Giant
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Maverick and Iceman in the same family. Large serving. Did indeed fulfill “11-13 sticks” vow. Pretty tasty pizza. Well-spiced mozzarella sticks. Artistic pepperoni distribution. Hulk looking like he’s about to punch Captain America.
Cons: Slightly odd combo. Actually may be worse for you than a bacon cheeseburger & waffles. Not enough cheese in the mozzarella sticks. Even good frozen pizza can’t hold a candle to fresh-made slices from a pizzeria. Losing dogfights to a beagle.

REVIEW: Doritos JACKED (Smoky Chipotle BBQ and Enchilada Supreme)

Drew 20 Comments

Doritos JACKED Smoky Chipotle BBQ and Enchilada Supreme

My wife recently told me she admired my self-control around open bags of chips.   I asked what she meant, and she explained that if a chip bag is open, I’ll eat a certain amount until I’m not hungry anymore, then stop and let the chip bag sit there unmolested rather than continue to eat.   I’d never really thought about it that way, but in general, I think she’s right.   I can eat some potato chips and then keep the bag in front of me without touching it.   I can usually do that with tortilla chips.   I can even  pull it off  with cheese curls.

But Doritos are another story.   Open a bag of Doritos and you expose my all-too-human weakness.   I’ll keep eating those things until I force myself to close the bag and stash it away, or until it’s empty.   If it’s open and sitting out, self-control is not an option.

So knowing that about myself, what was I to think about Doritos introducing the “JACKED” sub-line (I feel strongly it should be all caps) that boasts of Bigger, Bolder, Thicker chips?   Should I be enthused, or worried?   Was I like a smoker getting excited because his Camels would now contain triple the nicotine?   And why “JACKED,” anyway?   Were they going to contain Monterey or Cheddar Jack cheese (no), or was  this just  a doomed marketing attempt to seem appropriately “street” (almost certainly)?
 
Then I thought about it for .43 seconds and realized two of those adjectives are completely irrelevant.   Who cares if each  individual chip is 40% bigger and thicker if the size of the bag remains the same?   If anything it’s a ploy to get you to eat the same number of Doritos you always did, but since there are fewer per bag, you’ll need to buy another bag sooner.   They could just as easily make the Doritos small and wafer thin and brag about how each bag contains thousands, yes thousands of chips!

But it’s the second adjective that piqued my interest, because fortune favors the bold and so do I.   The two inaugural flavors kicking off the JACKED line are Smoky Chipotle BBQ and Enchilada Supreme, and neither of those tastes screams “Let my subtle notes gently  waft across your palate.”   Appropriately for a product that debuted at the SXSW Festival, these are chips for extreme people with extreme taste buds; and while I may not be one of them, I’m always up for a challenge.

Doritos JACKED Smoky Chipotle BBQ

As you can see (the penny is for scale, I haven’t taken to eating copper… yet), the Smoky Chipotle BBQ chips are definitely larger than their standard Doritos brethren, and while it may not be clear from the picture, noticeably darker as well.   I was unable to find one completely intact; I’m not sure if that’s a consequence of them being bigger and crunchier, or just having two toddlers who like to help unpack groceries.   The smell is surprisingly subdued, not at all the intense aroma that typically warns you to proceed carefully with spicy food.

My expectation was that, despite the best efforts of the marketing department, the Chipotle BBQ Doritos wouldn’t be absurdly hot, so as not to deter most of the target audience.   Frankly, I was afraid they’d go too far and end up with wuss chips; and luckily, that fear proved groundless.   They pack a greater crunch than the regular variety due to their increased thickness, and you can clearly taste the classic Doritos artificial cheese on them.   But with it definitely comes an explosion of spice that won’t send you sprinting for a gallon of milk, but will probably make you think twice about eating any without a cold drink handy.   Darned if there isn’t a bit of a smoky flavor to them too, complementing the heat.   It’s worth noting that the spice distribution is slightly uneven, some chips being noticeably hotter than others, but I’m not sure there’s any way that could’ve been avoided.  

Doritos JACKED Enchilada Supreme

Likewise, the Enchilada Supreme Doritos carry a less potent aroma than I would’ve expected.   They mostly smell like regular Doritos, with just a hint of Mexican spices if you really focus.   The taste, however, packs just as much of a wallop as the Chipotle variety, if not more.   Immediately your tongue is hit with a tangy salsa taste, and it IS tangy.   I would say the flavor is more intense than the Chipotle variety but doesn’t linger as long — like a process server, it gets in, hits you with a lawsuit or paternity papers, and gets out immediately.   It also has a cheesier taste than regular Doritos, which is much appreciated, along with some tomato flavor.   And not that these have anything in common with “real” Mexican cuisine, but as someone who makes his tacos with shells, beef, cheese, and that’s it, I was slightly nervous about this flavor but found myself really digging it.   You can also more easily eat them without a beverage handy than the Chipotle variety, since the spice doesn’t linger nearly as long.

I’m often skeptical of attempts to improve an established product I like, and doubly so if they appear to be pursuing the Poochie demographic.   That said, I’m surprised to be able to happily recommend both of these new flavors.   The increased size and thickness is largely window dressing, but they both have chops as far as spiciness, albeit in different ways.   I’m a little more partial to the Smoky Chipotle BBQ flavor myself, but regular visitors to the Bell or a real Mexican restaurant may swing more in favor of the Enchilada Supreme.   Either way though, you’ve got something good on your hands.   Just remember to stretch properly before getting that X-treme; cramped taste buds are NOT cool, man.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 oz (about 6 chips) – Smoky Chipotle BBQ – 130 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of total fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, less than 1 gram of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.   Enchilada Supreme – 140 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of total fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 0 grams of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.)

Other Doritos JACKED reviews:
FatGuy Food Blog
Junk Food Guy (Smoky Chipotle BBQ)
Junk Food Guy (Enchilada Supreme)

Item: Doritos JACKED (Smoky Chipotle BBQ and Enchilada Supreme)
Price: $4.29 each
Size: 10.5 oz
Purchased at: Giant
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Smoky Chipotle BBQ)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Supreme Enchilada)
Pros: Doesn’t wimp out on the spice.   Bolder.   Enchilada Supreme definitely tastes like both cheese and tomato.   Begrudgingly, I’ll admit they are more “extreme” than regular Doritos.   You can really see the spicy crystals or whatever on the Chipotle BBQ kind.   Catch you on the flip side, dudemeisters!
Cons: Irrelevant size increases.   Not exactly cheap.   “JACKED” is not a word typically associated with good things (carjacked, jacked up on steroids, etc).   The description on the bag contains phrases like “mind-blowing” and “Can you handle it?” without an air of tongue-in-cheek self-awareness.   Might lead to you accidentally eating your iPod Nano.

REVIEW: Breyers Blasts! Limited Edition Oreo Birthday Blast!

Drew 12 Comments

Breyers Limited Edition Oreo Birthday Blast

It seems like many longstanding companies don’t know quite how to feel about their own longevity.  Staying in business for a long time is, of course, something to celebrate — the company I work for recently hit a major milestone and celebrated with both a family picnic and a black-tie dinner, which was cool.  But a lot of companies seem to want to downplay their past in an effort to appear cutting-edge and in touch with today’s consumers.  You understandably see it a lot with tech companies, but also in some industries you wouldn’t expect.  DC Comics has the richest history of any comic company on Earth, but when it comes to their original characters from the 1940s, the powers that be generally alternate between killing them off, writing them out of stories, and pretending they don’t exist.  (Because characters created in the ’50s and ’60s are so much more relevant, presumably.)

The food industry seems to play both sides of the fence.  You’ll see plenty of brands where the companies seem to constantly try new flavors or fillings or variations on the original — coat it in chocolate, fill it with berries, age it ten years and throw some parsley on top — but at the same time, there are a number of products that have really stood the test of time, and their makers rarely miss an opportunity to point that out.  The fact that they often do so while simultaneously introducing the “new and improved version!” of the product that’s lasted forever in its original form is an irony not lost on me, and Nabisco provides us with a fantastic example of what we’re talking about.  As you probably know, Oreos are celebrating their 100th anniversary in 2012, and I’ll bet you cash money Nabisco has rolled out more variants on the Oreo in the past ten years than they did in the ninety preceding it — Double Stufs, Triple Doubles, Neapolitan flavor, Berry Burst, Strawberry Milkshake Creme, Cakesters… the list is endless.  Celebrate the past, just so long as no one thinks you’re afraid to make changes to keep with the times appears to be the credo.

Breyers Limited Edition Oreo Birthday Blast Closeup

Be that as it may, part of any good birthday celebration is ice cream, so Nabisco has teamed up with Breyer’s to bring us… almost ice cream.  “Frozen dairy dessert,” if you want to get technical.  I don’t tend to notice the difference until it’s pointed out to me, but I know some of you (like my wife) do, and once she mentioned it, I definitely could detect the slight aftertaste that smacks of “almost but not quite ice cream.”  Like blinking your eyes or breathing, it’s the sort of thing you don’t consciously think about, but then once it’s brought to your attention, you can’t stop noticing it.  It didn’t totally ruin my enjoyment, but it definitely diminished it slightly; naturally, your mileage may vary.

Oreos, of course, have a proud tradition of partnering with ice cream as the classic cookies n’ cream flavor, or the slightly less classic “creme (with cookie chunks)” by stores afraid of violating copyright laws.  By appearances, the anniversary ice cream looked to be exactly that, just with rainbow sprinkles added, so that’s what I was expecting.  It’s also basically what I got, so here’s to judging a book by its cover!  But I was pleasantly surprised to note that along with the rainbow sprinkles came a bit of cake batter flavor too.  It’s not overwhelming, but it pairs with the Oreo cookie chunks pretty well.  The dessert is fairly creamy — not Ben & Jerry’s quality, but still, not bad.

Overall, you pretty much know what to expect from this frozen dairy dessert if you’ve had cookies n’ cream before, as that’s the dominant base.  I’d love to tell you it’s more exciting than that, but this is just a decent but not outstanding flavor that loses a point or two for the aftertaste.  It’s not bad by any stretch, but it doesn’t really live up to the monumental milestone it was designed to commemorate either.  As it stands, I don’t think you’d find anyone arguing Oreo Birthday Blast was worth waiting 100 years for.

(Nutrition Facts — 1/2 cup — 130 calories, 40 calories from fat, 4.5 grams of total fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 13 grams of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Breyers Blasts! Limited Edition Oreo Birthday Blast!
Price: $3.79
Size: 1.5 quarts
Purchased at: Giant
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Visually appealing rainbow sprinkles.  Most Oreos don’t look a day over 70.  Tasty cookie chunks.  Hard to be TOO disappointed with what is, essentially, cookies n’ cream.  Certainly not healthy, but could be a lot worse.  If you make a wish before digging in your spoon, it stands as good a chance of coming true as if you were wishing on a candle.
Cons: Can’t un-notice the aftertaste after it’s been pointed out to you.  (Sorry.)  Not real ice cream.  Companies that want to celebrate their longevity when convenient while ignoring it the other 99% of the time.  Not exactly overflowing in creativity.  Could be slightly creamier.