Drew, Author at The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Donuts Angus Steak & Egg Sandwich

March 20, 2012August 29, 2023 Drew 17 Comments

Is it me, or is Dunkin’ Donuts just constantly trying out new stuff? I’ve been with TIB for a year and a half, and I swear they’ve rolled out at least a half dozen different products within that time. And that’s just hot foods; I’m not even counting new donuts or drinks. Far be it from me to tell a massive multinational conglomerate how to run their business, but is that really productive? How is there even time to analyze market data on how a product is being received before it’s gone and replaced by something new?

But ultimately, that’s not what we’re here to answer; you’re wondering whether DD’s latest offering, the Angus Steak & Egg Sandwich, is worth a try. Or you’re bored at work and they’ve disabled Minesweeper on your computer. Either way, let’s get down to business. The Steak & Egg sandwich is being marketed as a very masculine sandwich. It drinks whiskey straight from the bottle. It has only cried twice in its life. (Its father’s funeral and at the end of Old Yeller.) And if there’s truth in advertising, it will help you “Show Your Morning Who’s Boss. ” This is a sandwich for men, manly men, the kind who build skyscrapers, tame wild animals, and “wear the big boss pants.” Stay away, ladies — you couldn’t handle this sandwich. Why, one bite would send you scurrying back home to your momma. Angus doesn’t need you and it doesn’t want you.

Hopefully that’s also true of the men who’ll be consuming it, since the Angus Steak & Egg comes standard on an onion bagel, meaning you won’t be locking lips with anyone after eating it. That’s okay, real men don’t have time for kissing anyway. Since I’m a writer and thus not particularly manly, I got mine on a plain bagel, but be aware you have to ask for that — onion is the default, which could be a nasty surprise if you’re not expecting it. On a plain bagel, it smells good, though not substantially different from most breakfast sandwiches; in other words, the cheese and egg contribute more to the aroma than the steak does.

Dunkin' Donuts Angus Steak & Egg Sandwich Closeup

Appearance-wise, it looks… above average. The cheese, steak, and egg are all clearly visible within the sandwich from almost any angle, and when you remove the top you see they didn’t skimp on any of the components. As the picture illustrates, my bagel got burnt, but hopefully that was user error specific to my server instead of just the way they’re made. On the other hand, the cheese was quite melted, which is great. Can’t complain about the size of the Angus patty, though I’ll offer that it looks more like a standard fast food hamburger than anything you’d actually think of when hearing the word “steak.”

As for the taste, it’s quite good, assuming you’re able to manage your expectations. If you’re genuinely expecting the equivalent of a nice porterhouse or New York Strip steak on your mass-produced breakfast sandwich, well, I guess you’re out of luck. (Also, dumb.) It tastes a bit like adding eggs to a cheesesteak, and I don’t mean that as a criticism. I found that the combo of the cheese, egg, and steak melded well together in my mouth, warm and savory with reasonable juiciness. The bagel was decent, crisp enough but, again, relatively burnt. Taken as a whole, the sandwich was both filling and tasty.

Not nearly as impressed was I by tearing off a small piece of just the steak. It’s not bad, but fair or not, the word “Angus” conjures up a certain beef pedigree that can be hard to live up to. This is like Angus’s great-grandson, the one who gets a cushy executive job at the family business and is told to just show up most days and try not to knock up his secretary. And like a 4th generation executive, it seems much more impressive when bolstered up by the hard work of its undervalued support staff, eggs and cheese. Together they make a good team and can actually capitalize on the steak’s strengths while effectively masking its limitations. For that reason, I’d call the Angus Steak & Egg Sandwich a relative success and encourage you to try one sometime in the next two weeks, before it gets replaced by the Lobster Bisque Croissant or whatever.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 sandwich – 630 calories, 230 calories from fat, 26 grams of total fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 255 milligrams of cholesterol, 1390 milligrams of sodium, 67 grams of total carbohydrates, 4 grams of dietary fiber, 4 grams of sugars, and 34 grams of protein)

Other Dunkin’ Donuts Angus Steak & Egg Sandwich reviews:
Fast Food Geek
Grub Grade

Item: Dunkin’ Donuts Angus Steak & Egg Sandwich
Price: $3.99
Size: 1 sandwich
Purchased at: Dunkin’ Donuts
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Always something new to try. Good smell. Cheese is melted nicely. A sandwich that’ll put hair on your chest. Doesn’t skimp on the egg or steak patty. Won’t stick around long enough to get boring. Cheese and egg meld nicely with the steak for a savory taste.
Cons: Onion bagels. Burnt. Women who come within 10 feet of this sandwich often become spontaneously pregnant. 85%(!) of your recommended daily intake of cholesterol, and 58% of the sodium. The steak on its own is uninspired.

REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Nougat Crunch and Limited Batch Rocky Road-ish

February 28, 2012December 24, 2020 Drew 9 Comments

Right about now you’re saying, “Seriously Drew, another damn Ben & Jerry’s review? Do you ever give it a rest, man?” No, shut up. Ben & Jerry’s is usually awesome, so the more I review, the better it is for you, me, and everyone except my waistline and militant vegans. (Is that a thing?) Also, it helps me feel closer to Vermont ever since I stopped skiing back in high school. It’s either this or gay marriage, and I can’t live with another dude long term — who would keep me from wallowing in my own filth?

Today is a twofer because B&J’s seemingly can’t stop themselves from releasing new ice cream flavors, two of the latest being Chocolate Nougat Crunch and Rocky Road-ish. I always get a little skittish when the “-ish” suffix is used, because so often it’s used in the context of things like “soon-ish” or “pretty-ish” or “meat-ish.” But in this case I’m willing to take that chance, because I know you all are counting on me. -Ish.

Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Nougat Crunch Closeup

The Chocolate Nougat Crunch promises sweet cream ice cream with wafer cookies covered in fudge and a chocolate nougat swirl. That uncomfortable feeling you have right now is your taste buds needing to change their underwear. It sounds delicious, but I’m even happier to report that it largely tastes that way too.

Sweet cream is a personal favorite of mine, and this flavor presents a very good version of it, not simply vanilla masquerading as sweet cream. The chocolate nougat swirl is rich and forms a nice contrast with the sweet cream. The part about wafer cookies is slightly misleading, in that you might have been expecting actual large(-ish) cookies floating around inside the carton, but will instead get various small chunks. I’m not complaining because they’re plentiful, taste good, and provide some nice texture contrast, but there’s not a strong wafer taste to them. Maybe it’s because I grew up on Nilla Wafers, but I have certain expectations for what a wafer tastes like, and these weren’t it. Not a big problem since they’re still tasty, but don’t buy the flavor for your wafer fix. [Insert Catholic Church joke here.]

Ben & Jerry's Limited Batch Rocky Road-ish Closeup

Whereas Chocolate Nougat Crunch is a new flavor, Rocky Road-ish is a limited batch, which in theory means they only created so much of it and they’re not making more. Not sure what the big difference is — if a new flavor doesn’t catch on, won’t it essentially have been a limited batch too? — but if you want to try some, better do it soon. And trust me: you DO want to try some. The description on the back describes it as “kinda like Rocky Road, but different,” and that’s definitely true. It might be more accurate to call it Reverse Rocky Road, since instead of being chocolate ice cream with marshmallows and almonds in it, it’s toasted marshmallow ice cream with marshmallow swirl and fudge-covered almonds.

Given that, I was downright surprised by how much I liked it — I thought I’d really miss the strong chocolate presence, but the toasted marshmallow flavor ends up being really, really good without tasting precisely like marshmallow. I know that sounds confusing, but it’s more vaguely evocative of a marshmallow rather than tasting exactly like one. I’m not complaining, though, because it’s very rich and the fudge-covered almonds are plentiful. I can’t say the swirl was particularly noticeable, which kind of makes sense since it’s the same flavor as the ice cream, but then why even bother including the swirl? It’s like a Michael Bay movie poster advertising tons of explosions and zero plot. I mean… yes, but we kind of knew that already.

If you were waiting for the day Ben & Jerry’s would completely and utterly fail me, it may yet come to pass, but certainly not today. No, today I got to review two good to very good flavors, the better of which is unfortunately only available for a limited time. The standard caveats apply — this is far from health food, scoop out a predetermined measure or you’re just going to eat the entire pint like you did the night that jerk/bitch broke your heart — but otherwise, have at it. Can’t go wrong with either of them.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – Rocky Road-ish – 250 calories, 110 calories from fat, 12 grams of total fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 55 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 24 grams of sugars, 4 grams of protein. Chocolate Nougat Crunch — 250 calories, 120 calories from fat, 13 grams of total fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 25 grams of sugars, 4 grams of protein.)

Other Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Nougat Crunch reviews:
On Second Scoop

Other Ben & Jerry’s Limited Batch Rocky Road-ish reviews:
On Second Scoop
A Sweet Score
Ben & Jerry’s Fanatic

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Nougat Crunch and Limited Batch Rocky Road-ish
Price: $4.59 each
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Giant
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Chocolate Nougat Crunch)
Rating: 9 out of 10 (Rocky Road-ish)
Pros: Another damn Ben & Jerry’s review. Feeling closer to Vermont. Sweet cream that tastes like sweet cream. Reverse Rocky Road. Good texture both, with plentiful wafer chunks/almonds, respectively. Going two for two.
Cons: Militant vegans. The “-ish” suffix like 99% of the time. Not the prettiest photographs. Doesn’t taste like Nilla Wafers. Michael Bay movies. Temptation to eat until you’re scraping the bottom of the carton is strong.

REVIEW: Ruffles Smokehouse Style BBQ Potato Chips

February 16, 2012December 24, 2020 Drew

Over the last year and change, my family has gotten used to the fact that when we go to the grocery store, at some point I’m going to veer off to search a random aisle for new products to review. Sometimes there’s nothing, but last week turned up a variety of options to choose from. That is, until I came across Ruffles Smokehouse Style BBQ chips… then there was no choice at all. Railroads in Monopoly don’t get purchased as quickly as I bought that bag.

The fact is, I love ribs, and I used to have a favorite rib joint that my in-laws introduced me to. (Not the only reason they’re the best in-laws in the world, but certainly top three.) This place had more styles of ribs than you can imagine — baby back, St. Louis style spare ribs, Bourbon Street, South Carolina honey, Cajun, Texas beef short ribs, sesame garlic — and they were all excellent. Worth every inch of the 15 mile drive. But then last year they suddenly closed when the government bought out the land they were situated on, with no plans to reopen elsewhere. Damn the Man!

So I’ve been deprived of good ribs for over a year now. New Year’s Eve came and went without our traditional feast, and it hurt. And when it’s been that long, well… sometimes anything even vaguely associated with what you’re missing starts to look good. Veronica Mars may be gone forever, but Kristen Bell’s latest romantic comedy can’t be that bad, right? (Right?) I knew no potato chip could ever replace our departed rib joint, but like a lonely man in Amsterdam, I was easy prey for the chips’ siren call. Part of that is the packaging, which prominently displays a succulent, well-seasoned rack of ribs, but the rest is my innate suggestibility, because apparently some tiny part of me truly believed there were actual ribs in there. (P.S.- There are not.)

Ruffles Smokehouse Style BBQ Potato Chips Closeup

Still, that doesn’t mean the product is doomed to failure. As you might expect, opening the package wafts a strong smell toward your nostrils. Even after having consumed most of the bag, there’s still a noticeable but not overpowering scent. It’s a slightly spicy aroma, though you’d never mistake it for the smell from an actual order of ribs. (Shame, because I would absolutely buy rib-scented air freshener, and you know you would too.) Appearance-wise, they just look like regular Ruffles that someone has coated in typical barbecue chip spices. I’m considering writing to Ruffles and suggesting they include one actual cow bone in every bag, because you just like to have something to gnaw on when you’re done eating, you know? But that’s another story.

But when you actually taste one, it’s hard to get past the fact that it tastes like: a barbecue chip. No less and not much more. There’s perhaps some minor variation from your “average” barbecue chip — these just might be a shade smoother with not quite as much sharp aftertaste, and at times I thought I detected a hint of smokiness — but then again, maybe not. It would take a more discerning palate than mine to draw a clear distinction between these and any other BBQ chips you’ve eaten. Naming them “smokehouse style” is a good marketing tool, as is the picture of ribs on the bag, but a more honest name might’ve been “Basically Just Some Barbecue Chips (with ridges).” Now I happen to like barbecue chips, so that’s not the end of the world. But if you entertained a vague hope that these would in some way approximate a true rib-eating experience, well… sorry that you’re as naive or desperate as me.

In the end, it’s as true of rib joints as it is of life: something great, once lost, can never be recaptured. You can wander around New Jersey all you want (and I have), you’re never going to find Wellsville. But of course, you never really expected to — your brain knew all along what your heart won’t accept. So you can either content yourself with the journey and your ridged barbecue chips, or you can keep looking for another fantastic rib shack. Me, I’m going to continue the search. But in the meantime, Ruffles Smokehouse Style BBQ flavored potato chips are an unremarkable but steadfast companion to have along for the ride.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 oz/about 11 chips – 160 calories, 90 calories from fat, 10 grams of total fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 210 milligrams of potassium, 15 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 2 grams of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Ruffles Smokehouse Style BBQ Potato Chips
Price: $4.29
Size: 9 ounces
Purchased at: Giant
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Ridged for your pleasure. Tantalizing packaging. Smell is appealing but not overly spicy. Rib-scented air freshener. As far as BBQ chips go, they’re pretty good ones. Obscure Pete & Pete references for the mf’ing WIN.
Cons: Be honest, they’re just barbecue chips. The government stealing the rib man’s land. Deceptive packaging. Hard to tell if they’re actually any smokier than any other barbecue chip. Why is Kristen Bell not out there solving crimes? That’s a lot of calories and fat per chip.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Krave Double Chocolate Cereal

January 31, 2012March 8, 2023 Drew 12 Comments

Faithful TIB readers will recall Jasper reviewing Kellogg’s Krave Chocolate Cereal, stating that while it wasn’t exactly an “adult” cereal, it was tasty without making him feel like the 11-year-old that he actually is (probably) (just kidding, Jasper!). I read that with great interest, then scooped up a box of Krave Double Chocolate at the first opportunity, determined to see whether upping the chocolate quotient would make me less wizened and grinch-like. While I’m still cursing at people who don’t use their turn signals, I have noticed a 54 percent decrease in shuffling, complaining about the chill, and watching Jay Leno, so I’m going to call this one a success!

On opening the box and taking a whiff, I was greeted with a vague chocolate smell, similar but not entirely like other chocolate cereals like Cocoa Pebbles or Cocoa Puffs. Even holding a piece right up to my nose, it’s not as powerful a scent as I would have expected out of double chocolate anything; but the smell may just be locked in by a non-nutritive cereal varnish, semi-permeable but not osmotic, which coats and seals the piece. Regardless, I started by trying a few pieces dry, and I was happy with what I experienced. The cereal bits are suitably crunchy without being too hard or jagged edged, and the small burst of chocolate inside hits you like a little surprise a second or two after your taste buds have registered the outer layer. It’s a well timed one-two punch, with the outer part being a bit of a subtler, less intense chocolate, but the inner component being richer. High marks all around.

Given that, I was really eager to get the milk on and see how I liked them. Regrettably, I have to report that while milk is almost always an improvement to cereal, it had the opposite effect on Double Chocolate Krave. Don’t get me wrong, they’re still flavorful, but almost too much so — my teeth seemed to be on the verge of hurting with every bite. My suspicion is that when the milk penetrates to the inside layer of chocolate, it turns it more liquidy; and while you’d think that would be a good thing, it actually makes it overly chocolate-y, if such a thing is possible. I mean, I have a sweet tooth and all, but a 17-year-old girl who got dumped a week before prom would say this was a little too much chocolate. I feel like I visited a guy on the street corner looking for an ounce of weed and he injected me with black tar heroin.

Kellogg's Krave Double Chocolate Cereal Closeup

Aside from the flavor, I found that they didn’t stay crunchy in milk very well at all — a mere five minutes of soaking reduced them to the firmness of a mushy banana, so either they don’t maintain consistency or someone at the grocery store is slipping acid into my milk. Probably both. (I have a lot of enemies.) Since Jasper reported that the uni-chocolate variety held its crunchiness pretty well in milk, I’m wondering if it’s something to do with the different outer layers — maybe nutella and whatever else is in the casing of the regular variety is better at saying no than chocolate, the village bicycle.

While I can only give Kellogg’s Krave Double Chocolate a moderate score due to its overpowering taste and loose consistency in milk, I’d definitely recommend picking some up to eat dry as a party snack or something. All told, it appears to simply be that rare cereal that’s better without the milk. The back of the box makes reference to “chocovores,” so I guess I’m just one of those chocovores who likes his meals raw and unseasoned. Grrrrr.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup (cereal only) – 120 calories, 30 calories from fat, 3.5 grams of total fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 80 milligrams of potassium, 23 grams of total carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 10 grams of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Kellogg’s Krave Double Chocolate Cereal
Price: $3.99
Size: 11 ounces
Purchased at: Giant
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Tastes great dry. Good crunch. Not overpowering scent. Nice one-two chocolate flavor combo. Satisfying your chocolate craving for the next five years. Would probably make for a good party snack food.
Cons: Milk somehow makes it too sweet and chocolate-y. People who don’t use their turn signals. Gets soggy quickly. They misspelled “crave.” Being the only product in the world where more chocolate is a bad thing. Comparing chocolate to hardcore drugs.

REVIEW: Dulce de Leche Cheerios and Multi Grain Cheerios Peanut Butter

January 24, 2012January 10, 2021 Drew 10 Comments

[When my oldest daughter started talking, we transitioned her from Cheerios to Alpha-Bits, and as a side effect wondered if they’d boost her language skills. They just stopped selling Alpha-Bits at our grocery store, so I guess my youngest will have to make do with just the one letter.]

Ah, Cheerios… dullest of all breakfast cereals. There’s a measure of respect in that — you don’t become an institution by pandering to the latest fads like “marshmallows” or “sugar,” or by changing your shape or packaging every six months like some hussy — but the fact remains, Cheerios are boring. Rice Krispies at least crackle and pop (that “snap” stuff is BS), and if nothing else Total and Bran Flakes come in irregular shapes. (Shredded Wheat doesn’t count, no one under 65 has ever eaten any.) Honey Nut Cheerios are essentially the “kids” version of Cheerios, and when that wasn’t enough, they started frosting the sumbitches. But the reinvention bug is hard to shake once it digs into your scalp and lays eggs, and recent years have brought a slew of new Cheerios varieties from General “Bills” Mills. The latest? Dulce de Leche Cheerios and Multi Grain Cheerios Peanut Butter.

You have to think it’d be hard to screw up caramel-flavored Cheerios, and you would be right. Actually, I’m surprised it’s not a more common flavor — offhand I can’t think of any other caramel cereals I’ve ever heard of, though I’m sure there must have been some. Seems like a pretty obvious taste to partner with milk, but I guess that€™s why I€™m not one of those high-powered cereal fat cats. Regardless, it€™s been implemented to good effect here. Wikipedia tells me that “dulce de leche” means “sweet of milk” and is technically caramel-like, but much like a good Romex watch, you won€™t be able to tell the difference. Akin to its honey nut brethren, the taste is distinct but not overwhelming, so you enjoy each spoonful but don€™t feel like you€™re actually eating candy. As you can tell, I€™m a big fan, both for the taste and the probably misplaced belief that this qualifies as “eating healthy.” And not that it really matters, but the O’s come in two different colors: as tan as my parents and sister in the summer, and as white as me in the always.

Multi Grain Cheerios Peanut Butter Closeup

And in column B we have Multi Grain Cheerios Peanut Butter. If you pay any attention to the news (don’t worry, me neither), you may have heard about all the parents up in arms about this cereal. In brief, lots of young kids these days have nut allergies because we stopped sacrificing virgins to Mr. Peanut last century, and he is a jealous and angry legume. Since the peanut butter variety looks pretty much identical in color to regular Multi Grain Cheerios, there’s a fear that oblivious parents might send some to school for their own kid, a child with allergies could grab some, and BAM! — peanutality. Personally, my kid’s worst experience with peanuts was jamming one up her nose and needing to have it removed by a specialist (to the tune of $900 if we didn’t have insurance, because apparently science has not yet invented the peanut magnet), but I understand the concern. I’m as disdainful of overprotective parents as anyone, but just a whiff of these things sends a wave of peanut butter flooding into your sinuses.

That carries over to the flavor, too — if the dulce de leche variety flirted with a caramel taste, these grab peanut butter, drive it home, and rip off its shirt. Not to say that’s a bad thing, though, depending on your feelings about peanut butter. As I’ve mentioned before, I can take it or leave it if chocolate isn’t part of the equation (mental note: try adding Cocoa Puffs later), but I still thought they were decent; a true peanut butter lover will probably be in heaven. As you’d expect, the longer you let them sit in milk, the more the taste dilutes, with the compensatory fact that you’re setting yourself up for some tasty milk. (That goes double for the dulce de leche variety. Mmmm!)

It’s always nice when you can try two new cereals and come out with two winners, and that’s the case here. As a caramel fan I’ll be sticking with the Dulce de Leche Cheerios going forward, but those who worship at the altar of the great god C’shewlu are welcome to the peanut butter variety. They may never topple Buzz and his honey nut version, but they’re way better than making do with boring ol’ regular Cheerios.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup – Multi Grain Cheerios Peanut Butter – 110 calories, 15 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of total fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 130 milligrams of sodium, 65 milligrams of potassium, 23 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 9 grams of sugars, 12 grams of other carbohydrates, and 2 grams of protein. Dulce de Leche Cheerios – 100 calories, 15 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of total fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 135 milligrams of sodium, 75 milligrams of potassium, 22 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 6 grams of sugars, 14 grams of other carbohydrates, and 2 grams of protein.)

Items: Dulce de Leche Cheerios and Multi Grain Cheerios Peanut Butter
Price: $2.39 each
Size: 12 oz (Dulce de Leche)
Size: 11.3 oz (Peanut Butter)
Purchased at: Wegman’s
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Dulce de Leche);
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Peanut Butter)
Pros: Appealing to a new demographic without betraying who you are. Multicolored Cheerios promote diversity. Delicious but not overpowering caramel flavor. Can’t beat a good Romex. Strong peanut butter scent and flavor, if that’s your thing. Both varieties give the leftover milk a great taste. Reasonably healthy breakfast choice.
Cons: Cereals that only teach 1/26th of the alphabet. Peanut butter taste a little strong for my taste. Possibly killing some kids. The continued non-existence of the peanut magnet. Crazy obscure Lovecraft jokes that like 5 people will get. Peanut butter variety would probably be better if combined with Chocolate Cheerios.