Author: Jenna

REVIEW: KFC Smash’d Potato Bowl

Jenna 4 Comments

If you’re a fan of KFC’s Famous Bowls, get ready to be bowled over (heh) by the chicken chain’s newest offering, the similarly-themed-but-even-more-tater-filled Smash’d Potato Bowl. I get the line of thinking: fried chicken is often eaten with sides, which are often potato-based, and said potato-based sides often come with toppings, so why not give customers a meal that “smashes” all of these favorites together in one forkful (or, in the case of the utensil my local KFC provided, sporkful)?

This bowl begins with a base of mashed potatoes, which are then covered in a layer of fries, doused with cheese sauce, and then sprinkled with bacon bits. (The press release says there’s a three-cheese blend thrown in as well, but my meal gave no indication of that, so it was either really well-hidden or just not important enough to be remembered). You’ll notice that I didn’t actually mention chicken because it’s optional. If you opt for it, it comes in the form of five nuggets. Vegetarians, though they may not be KFC’s target audience, rejoice! … Oh, wait, there is still bacon even in the nugget-less variant, so vegetarians, stop rejoicing! Anyway, KFC’s nuggets are too “finger lickin’ good” for me to resist, so of course I had to add them.

All of these ingredients sound pretty promising, but unfortunately, throwing them together didn’t really wow me. In fact, what the haphazard mishmash made me think of more than anything was a school cafeteria lunch. The mashed potatoes were silky, pleasantly avoiding the grittiness and graininess that can sometimes creep in, but they had an odd aftertaste that made me want to focus on the other ingredients as much as possible. The fries were more delicious than I’d thought they’d be, crispy and savory on the outside but surprisingly and appealingly soft on the inside, but something about eating fries and mashed potatoes together did feel a bit ridiculous, even for an admittedly whimsical eater like me.

The thin, slightly tangy cheese sauce, to be frank, was gas-station quality. And while the bacon bits actually did impress me with how chewy and not-stringy they were, they were so concentrated in the center that the excess kept falling from my spork and getting lodged in the nooks and crannies of the bowl, so while they appeared pretty plentiful, most of them didn’t make it to my mouth. It didn’t shock me that KFC’s famous chicken, so juicy and zesty, was my favorite part by far, but it’s sad to think that the best bit of this is the one that’s optional.

KFC’s Smash’d Potato Bowl does deliver on the starch-stuffed combo it promises, but your mileage may vary: the more noticeable thing it delivered for me was a hankering for a plain old order of chicken and fries — hold the elusive bacon, synthetic-tasting mash, and underwhelming cheese, please.

Purchased Price: $7.61
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 760 calories. Other nutritional information was unavailable at the time of review.

REVIEW: Native Girl Scouts Trefoils Body Wash

Jenna 3 Comments

NATIVE sells body washes, deodorants, and shampoos, which, thanks to its pleasantly surprising new partnership with Girl Scouts, are now available for a limited time with the distinctive aromas of Thin Mints, Trefoils, or the still-evocative-but-slightly-less-signature scents of Coconut Caramel, Peanut Butter, and Lemon. Their bottles cheerfully explain that “Girl Scouts shower the world with kindness and optimism,” and so the point of this unexpected crossover is to “Bring that can-do energy to your day.” Fair enough — few things in this world put me in a more positive mood than cookies, after all.

Amidst such a sea of choices, I committed to the Trefoils Body Wash, which attractively combines my favorite Girl Scout cookie with the toiletry I’m most likely to have somehow just run out of AGAIN.

To get to the heart of this review: how did the body wash taste?

Kidding, kidding!

NATIVE’s website describes this as “a scrumptious shortbread scent \[that] blends notes of vanilla, lemon, and buttercream.” I describe it as “sickly sweet,” but I don’t necessarily even mean it negatively. If you’re buying a body wash based on a sugary snack, I assume you’re into that kind of thing, but just stopping at “sweet” isn’t enough. I really do need to stress that this is so overwhelmingly strong-smelling that I half-expected that I’d be trailed by a hoard of hungry Keebler Elves after using it. Of the notes listed, I detected buttercream the most, as the smell is undoubtedly… well, buttery and creamy. Vanilla was definitely discernible too, though I can’t say I made out more than maaaaybe the tiniest whiff of lemon as an afterthought. If I’d had to smell this without knowing what it was, though, I probably would have guessed birthday cake — it reminded me more than anything of a super-saccharine, sprinkles-and-frosted-loaded milkshake.

I really wanted to see how accurate this was to the scent of an actual Trefoil cookie, But sadly, Girl Scouts aren’t set to start hawking their wares in my area for another month, so I did what any desperate dessert fan would do and sought out a copycat recipe for comparison instead. My homemade “tre-faux-ls” were not quite as picturesque as the real thing, but their scent wasn’t extremely far from that of the body wash — it was just way less heavy on that cloying buttercream.

As a food reviewer, I don’t think I’m super qualified to comment on more about this dye-free body wash than its cookie-ish-ness; I did like the texture and feeling of cleanliness after using it, but the gimmick of being themed after a beloved nostalgic treat was really the draw for me, so I can’t truly say how this would stack up against more traditional body washes.

If the prospect of smelling like a giant baked good and craving one every time you catch a whiff of yourself unsettles you, I would not recommend buying anything from this NATIVE x Girl Scouts collab. But if, like me, you’re seeking a signature scent as tasty as your favorite tidbit, there’s a lot to like here. Just remember, as the bottle ever-so-helpfully disclaims: “Our scents are sweet, but do not eat.”

Purchased Price: $9.84
Size: 18 fl oz bottle
Rating: 7 out of 10
Purchased at: Target

REVIEW: Sonic Peanut Butter Bacon Shake

Jenna 3 Comments

Sonic has rolled out two new limited edition Peanut Butter Bacon items, a shake and a cheeseburger, though perhaps fortunately for my nerves (which can only handle so much adventurous eating in one day), I’ll just be reviewing the shake here.

Let me be upfront: it’s not as strange as you may be afraid (or hoping) it will be. That’s because the bacon doesn’t really dominate the experience… though neither does the peanut butter.

The Peanut Butter Bacon Shake has a base of vanilla ice cream, which is understandable logistically speaking — Sonic’s a fast food joint, not an ice cream parlor capable of offering a gazillion unique flavors— but leads to the undeniable fact that it tastes more like its vanilla foundation than the mix-ins that are supposed to be featured. It also doesn’t help that the thick, creamy texture of the peanut butter doesn’t exactly blend in seamlessly with vanilla ice cream that has a thick, creamy texture too but also has the advantage of being present in a much higher quantity. If the peanut butter component came from something more mixable, like a syrup or even just a bunch of Reese’s Pieces, I think it would make much more of an impact, but as is, the smudges of peanut butter flavor only come through in small, infrequent, slightly unsatisfying doses.

You’ll notice I haven’t even mentioned the bacon yet, and that’s because it is similarly outshined. It comes in the form of well-cooked bits, a mix of larger, crispy dark red pieces and smaller, slightly chewier lighter ones, which are scattered liberally atop the rich, thick whipped topping (wimpy whipped cream it is not!) that crowns the shake. That looks cool, but sort of separates the bacon from the rest of the experience.

Yes, you could stab your straw directly into a batch of bacon bits and suck them all up at once for a rush of salty meatiness, but I’m guessing you’ll probably just do what I did, which was sip the shake without positioning the straw any particular way, resulting in mostly bacon-less sips (some bits were swirled up throughout the shake, but not enough that it really affected the flavor) with the bits on top gradually sinking to the bottom to be dealt with once the rest of the shake is gone. If we’re being pedantic, the whole thing felt more like a “Vanilla Shake with Peanut Butter Swirl and Bacon on Top” than a true “Peanut Butter Bacon Shake.”

The shake’s texture, though, was sublime; it hit my sweet spot of being thick enough that I had to work a little to drink it through the straw but not too thick that a spoon was required. And aside from its outsized presence, I don’t have any complaints about the vanilla ice cream.

Overall, this isn’t a bad product. It’s just a little odd, not daring enough to scratch the itch for novelty seekers, but maybe still a bit too weird for those seeking a classic milkshake. The few who fall into the grey area in between will likely enjoy it, but let’s just say I’m not holding my breath for this to earn a permanent place on the menu.

Purchased Price: $6.09
Size: Medium
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Unavailable at the time of review.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ White Hazelnut Bark Coffee

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White chocolate peppermint bark is something that I’ve always associated with the holiday season, but white hazelnut bark I’d never heard of before — and want to try as soon as possible, now that I’ve been made aware of its existence. Until I’m able to track some down, though, I figure the next best thing is to sample it in beverage form via Dunkin’s new White Hazelnut Bark Coffee, part of its hotly anticipated new winter 2024 menu. (Or, because of the season, should I say coldly anticipated? … Okay, fine, that was an awful pun. Please don’t pelt me with snowballs.)

According to Dunkin’s latest press release, this new flavor is inspired by an earlier (and still available) seasonal offering, the Toasted White Chocolate Swirl. I dug a little deeper, searching up Dunkin’s lengthy Allergen and Ingredient Table online, and noted that in addition to that swirl, this coffee also includes cream and “hazelnut flavor.” It is available both hot and iced; I generally enjoy, and surely will eventually try, both, but opted for iced for this review as I think that format is more conducive to clear, distinct flavors, as opposed to hot beverages where they are more likely to muddle together or be overshadowed by the tongue-tingling temperature.

I expected this to be a more white-chocolate-forward drink with hints of hazelnut, but I had the opposite experience: the first flavor that came through was distinctly nutty. Don’t get me wrong, this coffee is certainly sweet and creamy too, but so are sugar and cream, so I wasn’t sure which part of that profile screamed “white chocolate” specifically. And while I absolutely love white chocolate, even I must admit that it’s not the most distinctive beverage flavor, so it makes sense that the hazelnut component would be more dominant.

A common complaint about these dessert-based limited edition flavors is that they are too sweet. Did I find that to be the case here? No… but I was also content with the sugar level of the Ice Spice Munchkin Drink (which was, in a word, ludicrous), so maybe take my opinion with a grain of salt… or a grain of sugar… or several tablespoons of sugar…

In any case, I enjoyed the White Hazelnut Bark Coffee. I just can’t say it was the most unique experience. Regrettably, I also can’t say I prefer it to its predecessor, the Toasted White Chocolate Signature Latte. I have to reiterate that it was a yummy pick-me-up that tasted exactly how it was supposed to. But it was just a little underwhelming — and I can’t in good conscience give a higher score to a product whose most memorable quality was teaching me about a different product I’d rather consume.

Speaking of, now that I’m sufficiently caffeinated, it’s time to hunt down some proper white hazelnut bark!

Purchased Price: $3.91
Size: Small
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 170 calories, 6 grams of fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 25 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: KFC Mac & Cheese Wrap

Jenna 2 Comments

In retrospect, the amount of KFC mac and cheese I consumed in my childhood was not advisable, but it did prime me perfectly to review the chain’s new Mac & Cheese Wrap, which includes three of my favorite things —- fried chicken, mac and cheese, and wacky combos. The new KFC Wrap variety accompanies the returning Spicy Chicken Wrap and Classic Chicken Wrap. But that’s all I have to say about those cheeseless bores, though!

Before ordering, I didn’t realize the combo comes with two wraps, so I went ahead and got the meal, which also includes a medium drink and a side of fries. The two wraps don’t have to be the same flavor, but you can bet your $8.49 that I wasn’t going to pass up the chance to choose double the mac.

When my order was called, I instantly realized why two is the magic number: these wraps are fun-sized, to put it politely. My go-to tortilla-based fast food is a Chipotle burrito, but portion-wise, a better comparison here is a Taco Bell burrito. Inside each teeny, toasted tortilla is one chicken tender, a sprinkling of mac and cheese, and, for good measure, some shredded three-cheese blend as well.

These wraps didn’t escape my pet peeve of all the fillings being packed towards the open end, leaving the other end sadly flat and dry, but I can’t even judge them too harshly because, boy, were they tasty. I’m more accustomed to seeing chopped chicken in wraps, but the length and width of a single tender made for a surprisingly good fit. I’ve previously sworn my allegiance to KFC in the fast food chicken wars, and these tenders only affirmed my loyalty, plump and juicy with an addictive crispy coating. And while this chain might not be as known for its noodles (it’s not called Kentucky Mac and Cheese, after all), I find them insanely craveable. The sauce is creamy, the macaroni is so soft and tender that it practically melts in your mouth, and the overall effect is so mild and comforting that I could eat a vat of it without even noticing. Luckily for my stomach, the wrap doesn’t contain a vat’s worth — more like a couple spoonfuls. The portion of shredded cheese is similar, though it tastes sharper, and is (or was in my order, anyway) notably unmelted. But the majority of the flavor definitely comes from the chicken and mac.

I could gripe that this wrap could use even more mac and cheese, but I’ve struggled so many times to cleanly fold an over-stuffed tortilla that I’m willing to give some grace. Plus, I’m in a charitable mood after such a delicious dinner! If you’re a fellow mac and cheesehead, I highly suggest you get yourself wrapped up in this new offering too.

Purchased Price: $8.47 for the combo (just the two wraps is $5)
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 400 calories. Other numbers are not available on KFC’s website.