REVIEW: Subway Spicy Nacho Chicken Sub

In our house, Subway plays the role of the last line of defense before the tofu is deployed. When I’m all ready to make my famous (in my own mind) tofu and veggies stir fry for dinner, my husband will often say, with forced casualness, “Dear, you’ve had a long day. If you don’t feel like cooking tonight, you know, I could always just run over to Subway…”

Now, I should tell him that he will eat his gosh-darned tofu, and he will like it, but sometimes I give in to the lazy out he’s giving me. Then I watch as my family consumes subs heaping with cheese and deli meat that probably have more saturated fat than the entire Cheesecake Factory menu put together. I might be a bad homemaker.

Fortunately, Subway’s offerings are a little more extensive than just Italian Double Meat BMTs. It’s got some new offerings this summer, including the Spicy Nacho Chicken Sub. This fairly ambitious sandwich is made with rotisserie-style chicken, green peppers, red onions, jalapenos, cheddar cheese sauce, creamy sriracha, and “SubKrunch.” SubKrunch is a new option at Subway, little fried crunchy bits that add a nice bit of texture.

I was surprised by how much the SubKrunch added to the experience. They were generous with these little things, kind of like French fried onions, and the constant-yet-not-annoying crunch level was fun. You can supposedly add SubKrunch to any existing sub, and I’m curious to see what my favorite tuna sub tastes like with a bunch of crunch added.

Even though there are jalapenos and sriracha, the heat level never gets that high. I felt the heat from the jalapenos on the tip of my tongue as I ate them, but the spiciness didn’t seem to spread through my mouth that much. The cheddar cheese provides a nice contrast, but you don’t get it with every bite; it’s nice when it shows up. I found the chicken really savory and juicy, which was surprising because I haven’t been enamored of Subway’s chicken products in the past. The bread was, well, bread…it didn’t add much flavor, but the sandwich is so packed full of flavor it doesn’t matter. I’m curious if trying it with one of Subway’s other breads would make much of a difference. The veggies just add a bit of texture, I didn’t really taste them, but they added some vitamins, so yaaay?

On the whole, this is a really tasty sandwich. I don’t know if I’d switch out my classic Tuna Sub with veggies for this new guy, but I’d definitely at least consider it—which is saying something if you know just how many Subway Tuna Subs I’ve eaten in my life. But this is all irrelevant because I’m clearly going to start making vegan, home-cooked meals for my family all the time and not give in to the siren song of Subway take-out anymore…except for possibly Thursdays.

Purchased Price: $11.79
Size: Footlong
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 890 calories. (No other nutritional numbers for the whole sandwich are available on Subway’s website.)

REVIEW: Burger King Fiery Bacon Royal Crispy Chicken Sandwich

Genius that I am, I volunteered to take on the Fiery Bacon Royal Crispy Chicken Sandwich before reading the press release from Burger King. If I had done so, I would have known its summer “Fiery” menu has a tiered heat list, with the chicken sandwich sitting at the maximum Spice Level Five. I can handle some spice, but I don’t like having my throat annihilated by jalapeños; visions of people having seizures and hallucinations after eating Nashville Hot Chicken plagued me. What had I signed up for?

Of course, it was Burger King, so it’s fine. It turns out that even maximum Burger King spiciness is not that spicy compared to other spicy foods. It’s not even as spicy as BK’s original release of the Spicy Chicken Fries, which I loved. I worried myself into a tizzy for nothing.

This ambitious sandwich features white meat chicken with a coat of fiery glaze, fiery-seasoned bacon, pepper jack cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, and “Fiery sauce.” The sauce tastes like slightly cheesy mayonnaise with a small amount of heat added to it; everything else is fairly self-explanatory.

I had this twice, and neither time did I get much pepper jack cheese. To be fair, I don’t think it was needed.

When I first bit into the breaded, coated chicken breast before eating any of the toppings with it, I knew it tasted familiar, but I couldn’t place it. It’s a sweet heat, and I couldn’t get past the déjà vu sensation as I continued to shovel the thing into my mouth. Eventually, I realized what I was reminded of: General Tso’s Chicken. It’s definitely not an exact match, but the texture of the breading and the sweet and spice level put it into the ballpark of that Chinese takeout staple. I happen to really like General Tso’s Chicken, so this was a good thing for me.

But if you were having General Tso’s, would you want it slathered in mayonnaise? Probably not, but somehow, it works. Even though the fiery sauce has some spice, it still works as a cooling element compared to the spicing of the chicken patty, with the lettuce and tomato also working as you’d expect to moderate the heat level. I did get the sensation of heat in the back of my throat a few times, but it wasn’t unpleasant, just noticeable.

Besides not getting much cheese, my main complaint is that there wasn’t enough bacon. The spiced bacon adds another welcome layer of flavor and texture, but I wasn’t given much of it. It probably changes a lot between individual orders, so you may get more bacon on your sandwich than I did, but I doubt BK is heaping it on there. This is kind of a shame because if this thing was loaded up with that perfectly spiced bacon, we’d be talking about a 10 out of 10 experience here. As it stands, it’s merely very good.

I don’t know what it is, but whenever Burger King releases a spicy product, it really seems to work for me. I’m looking forward to trying the other items on the Fiery menu before the end of summer, and hey, maybe I’ll even try Nashville Hot Chicken someday; I bet my hallucinations would be awesome and might even include unicorns.

Purchased Price: $6.59
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 700 calories, 42 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 1140 milligrams of sodium, 57 grams of total carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 25 grams of protein.

REVIEW: DiGiorno Deadpool & Wolverine Spicy Wolvie Pie Pizza

As a lifelong X-Men fan, I have a bone (claw?) to pick with DiGiorno. Over his fifty-some-odd-year publication history, Wolverine has been many things, but “spicy” isn’t one of them. Now, if they were to release a Spicy Gambit Pie with Cajun seasoning, that would be thematically appropriate and fairly innovative for a frozen pizza. Why not opt to do this? The concept was right there!

“But Karen,” you say, “The movie being promoted is called Deadpool & Wolverine. Gambit is probably not even in it.” Oh, you think you’re so smart. Did you know that Gambit was in Wolverine: Origins back in the day with both Wolverine AND Deadpool? Did we get any pizzas for that movie? I think, after sitting through that, a Gambit-themed pizza is the least Marvel can do for me.

Nevertheless, the Wolvie Pie is the one we were given, thus the one I will review. If you’re interested in these Deadpool & Wolverine DiGiorno tie-ins, there are actually four to choose from: The Wade Special (pineapple and black olives), Gimmi Chimi (spicy cumin sauce, beef topping, jalapeno and cheddar and mozzarella), Maximum Pep (lots of sliced and diced pepperoni), and the Spicy Wolvie Pie (pepperoni, chorizo and bacon.) The idea behind the Wolvie pizza is that Wolverine likes eating meat, so you should too. Clearly, Wolverine also likes sodium.

All varieties come with a Deadpool mask except the Spicy Wolvie. Why wasn’t a Wolverine mask included? That’s just lazy.

I was a little confused about the toppings. It’s obvious what the pepperoni is, of course, but which of the tiny little bits of meat were the bacon and which were the chorizo? The taste of the chorizo was dominant, so if you’d told me all the little bits were chorizo, I would have believed you. Not a lot of bacon flavor here.

The chorizo gave the pizza a nice level of heat. It was more than a “subtle” level, but definitely not as spicy as something like Wendy’s Spicy Nuggets. I kept trying to decide whether or not this pie was spicy enough; sure, there’s some spice there, but “Spicy” is literally in the title. I think it should have been pushed a little further.

That said, it’s still an enjoyable meal. If you’ve had any DiGiorno pizza before, you’ll know exactly what to expect here, but the funny branding adds a little bit of joy to the proceedings. If you find you enjoy role-playing Wolvie and mirroring his eating habits is not enough, you could always go out and hit on a few redheads, although I doubt DiGiorno would take responsibility for that.

Hey, that makes me think about what a Jean Grey pizza would be like. Maybe a strawberry dessert pizza to honor her color scheme? Or a much more spicy Ghost Pepper pie to allude to the universe-scorching heat of the Phoenix Force? DiGiorno, when the MCU finally starts churning out X-Men movies by the dozens, you really have no excuse not to go down this road. Just get on making that Spicy Gambit pizza, and maybe I’ll give you my ideas for the perfect pizza incarnations of all twelve million X-Men characters.

Purchased Price: $6.49
Purchased at: Shop Rite
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/4 pizza) 350 calories, 17 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 810 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of sugar, 2 grams of fiber, and 16 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Pizza Hut Chicago Tavern Style Pizza

As a born and bred New Yorker, just hearing “Chicago-style pizza” puts me in a fighting mood. Deep-dish pizza is not pizza! It’s a casserole! How many times do we need to have this debate? How long will it take for everyone to accept the plain, unvarnished truth?

Then I read that Pizza Hut has released a Chicago Tavern-style pizza, which has a thin crust, not unlike a certain other type of pizza that gets enthusiastically consumed in my house on a nearly weekly basis. Ah well, I guess I need to put away the boxing gloves and nunchaku and give this thing a fair shot. You have a choice of Double Pepperoni, Pesto Margherita, Spicy Chicken Sausage, or Ultimate. I went with the Double Pepperoni since I didn’t want the different toppings to complicate the eating experience.

My first thought was that the crust was actually not as thin as I was expecting; I think Domino’s has had thin crust pizza with thinner crust than this. Aside from being a little thinner and cut differently, the Tavern-style pizza is actually very similar to another Pizza Hut product, The Big New Yorker; it has the same parmesan-forward taste. The main differences are that the thinner crust on the Tavern pizza makes for a cheesier bite (although it’s a fairly subtle difference), and the whole thing is a fair bit less greasy.

And yes, I have ordered The Big New Yorker several times, despite being located in NY and having access to actual, authentic NY pizzerias. I can only attribute this to some kind of sophisticated mind control programming on Pizza Hut’s part. I always start dialing the number to Johnny D’s Authentic New York Pizza, then slam the phone down, muttering, “But you can’t Out-Pizza the Hut….”

Ahem, anyway, due to the nonstandard cut, some pieces of the Tavern-style pizza have toppings that go all the way to the edge, while some have a more traditional crusted end. I found the exposed crust, pleasantly studded with air bubbles, was the most fun part of the pizza to eat. It’s just really satisfying on a texture level, almost like eating a cannoli and feeling the crust flake apart under your teeth. That said, it was kind of a bummer that many of the slices in the box were missing this feature.

Also, don’t make the mistake of thinking this is lighter fare because it’s thinner: I ate three pieces, which, while much smaller than three slices of traditional pizza, made me feel like I just ate enough fat and salt for the rest of the week. However, it was not to be the extent of my salt and fat intake for the week because I had some again…the next day. Microwaved.

I know, I know, microwaving pizza—especially thin-crust pizza—is usually a bad idea. I can only argue that I was extremely hungry and impatient and was easily swayed to the dark side. Surprisingly, this pizza holds up pretty well to microwaving. Some of the crust became limp, but the crunchy end pieces were still delightfully crunchy.

On the whole, Pizza Hut’s Chicago Tavern Style Pizza was enjoyable enough to make this New Yorker consider the possibility that maybe good pizza can come from other states. Just don’t try to get me to compliment Detroit-style pizza. I have my limits.

Purchased Price: $12.00
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Double Pepperoni)120 calories, 6 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 15 mg of cholesterol, 290 milligrams of sodium, 11 grams of carbohydrates, and 6 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Wendy’s Saucy Nuggs

When I eat chicken nuggets, either from Wendy’s or another fast food chain, I tend to eat them without any sauce. That delectable fried chicken flavor is enough for me, and I don’t need to muddy it up with many other flavors. Hear that, all you kids with your fancy nugget-dipping sauces? Get off my lawn! (Wait, actually, come back and mow my lawn. Please? I’m begging you.)

Now Wendy’s has laughed in my face by putting out a whole line of nuggets that are absolutely drenched in sauces. And, of course, they come with extra dipping sauces, so you can have some sauce in your sauce. Naturally, I was skeptical but intrigued by this opportunity to see how the other half lives.

There are four main varieties, but technically, there are seven: The Honey BBQ, Buffalo, and Garlic Parm all come in spicy or not-spicy versions, depending on whether they are prepared with Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Nuggets as the base product. To me, the non-spicy version represents the default version, so that’s what I went with. The Spicy Ghost Pepper Nuggs, however, are only made in the spicy variety because a Ghost Pepper-branded food that isn’t spicy makes no sense.

As I’ve noticed with other fried chicken products, like Pizza Hut’s WingStreet boneless wings, the sauce application is a little bit haphazard. Some pieces were absolutely drenched in sauce, while others only had a little spotting of it. You can rectify this by using your nugget as a little sponge to soak up the sauce on the bottom of the plastic tray, which sometimes works.

The Saucy Nuggs come with Ranch and Blue Cheese dipping sauces, as you would expect. Even though I typically skip this option, I did try the Nuggs with them this time for the sake of being thorough. I know. My commitment to chicken-based journalism knows no bounds.

On the whole, I was impressed with Wendy’s latest offering.

Honey BBQ

This uses a textbook-standard honey barbecue sauce on the sweeter end of the spectrum. They are perfectly fine but not remarkable in any way. It makes for a good blank canvas if you’re really planning on going to town on the ranch and blue cheese.

Buffalo

The perfect level of mild spice that mixes well with the dipping sauces, and the classic pairing of Buffalo sauce with blue cheese is a winner. This is exactly how spicy I like my food, and I would definitely order these again. These made me a little nostalgic for the brief time I actually lived in Buffalo when I didn’t eat the wings nearly as often as I should have.

Garlic Parm

The big surprise of the lot. The garlic and parmesan flavors are clearly discernible, but neither is overpowering; it’s a surprisingly delicate flavor. The texture is also different from the other nuggets, more closely resembling a nice, crunchy piece of real fried chicken, greasy but in the best way. Either the ranch or the blue cheese will obliterate the subtle flavor, so be sure to have these naked. The question with these is not whether I will order them again, but “How long will they be on the menu? Please say it’s the whole summer!”

Spicy Ghost Pepper

The wildcard: Just how spicy were these going to be? I was timid, so I took my GP nugg with a healthy dollop of blue cheese to balance out the heavy spicing. Even with the cooling agent of the dipping sauce, the heat in the back of my throat from just one of these things was nearly more than I could handle. Fortunately, my husband is one of those people who asks for the maximum spice level when we go out for curry, so he was able to field this one for me and eat the rest of them. He said they were great and that these, and the Garlic Parm, were the ones he would definitely order again.

So, all in all, it was a rather good outing for our intrepid redhead, who I would say has been on a roll lately…except for the new Triple Berry Frosty. Hey, even Babe Ruth didn’t hit a home run every time he stepped up to the plate.

Size: 10 piece orders (40 pieces total)
Purchased Price: $5.79 each
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Honey BBQ), 8 out of 10 (Buffalo), 10 out of 10 (Garlic Parm), and Husband Approval out of 10 (Ghost Pepper)
Nutrition Facts: Honey BBQ – 590 calories, 29 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 80 mg of cholesterol, 1450 mg of sodium, 56 grams total carbohydrate, 2 grams dietary fiber, 30 grams total sugars, and 25 grams of protein. Buffalo – 530 calories, 36 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 80 mg of cholesterol, 2800 mg of sodium, 26 grams total carbohydrate, 2 grams dietary fiber, 1 gram total sugar, and 25 grams of protein. Garlic Parm – 940 calories, 80 grams total fat, 17 grams of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of trans fat, 80mg of cholesterol, 1610 mg of sodium, 29 grams total carbohydrate, 2 grams dietary fiber,1 gram total sugars, and 27 grams of protein. Ghost Pepper – 900 calories, 17 grams of total fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 95 mg of cholesterol, 2060 mg of sodium, 30 grams of total carbohydrate, 2 grams of dietary fiber, and 27 grams of protein.