Author: Karen

REVIEW: Boar’s Head Apple Pie Dessert Hummus

Karen 14 Comments

Boar s Head Apple Pie Dessert Hummus Tub

What is Boar’s Head Apple Pie Dessert Hummus?

For some reason, and I don’t know why this happened, someone at Boar’s Head decided that apple pie and hummus belonged together. Weirdly, they were right.

How is it?

Boar s Head Apple Pie Dessert Hummus Top

This hummus does its job of mimicking apple pie a little too well. I was expecting a vague apple flavor and tons of sugary sweetness, but it’s more complex than that. The flavor actually tastes like the syrup-soaked pieces of piecrust that you get in the bottom of a dish of any halfway decent pie, also known as “the best part.” I was expecting them to go heavy on the apple, and instead they went all-in on the crust. The usual chickpea flavor of hummus was barely even discernable.

This left me in a weird kind of dessert purgatory, because even though the flavor evoked pie, the grainy hummus texture did not. My mouth kept looking for the tactile feeling of a crisp and buttery pie shell, and obviously I didn’t get it. After polishing off a full serving of the hummus, I was ready to run out to the store and buy myself a real apple pie…which I could then cover in this apple pie hummus, forming a kind of pie-ception. Yeah, that’s definitely going to happen.

Boar s Head Apple Pie Dessert Hummus Cookie

I tried to mitigate the problem by adding more texture. After eating the hummus alone, I spread some of it on one of the Stella D’Oro Margherite cookies I always keep on hand. It was enjoyable, but the texture of the cookie wasn’t enough like pie to solve the problem. The prospect of trying to match the hummus with different kinds of cookies is appealing, however.

Anything else you need to know?

Boar’s Head also puts out a dark chocolate hummus, which is probably the better flavor because chocolate comes in all kinds of different textures already. I had the chocolate variety about a year ago and was impressed with just how chocolatey it was, so I really shouldn’t have been surprised at how much this hummus tasted like its namesake.

Conclusion:

If you’re curious about dessert hummus and/or are looking for some kind of sweet spread, both this and the chocolate variety are solid buys that will satisfy a sugar craving. But if you want pie – and I mean if there’s even a snowball’s chance in hell that you might ever, at some conceivable point, want an apple pie – buy the apple pie. As for me, I’m going to buy a giant Dutch apple pie tomorrow and send Boar’s Head an invoice.

Purchased Price: $5.99
Size: 8 oz
Purchased at: King Kullen
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 Tbsp) 60 calories, 2 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 9 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 5 grams of sugar (5 grams of added sugar), and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Strawberry Banana Cheerios Cereal

Karen 10 Comments

Limited Edition Strawberry Banana Cheerios Cereal Box

What is Limited Edition Strawberry Banana Cheerios Cereal?

After the Strawberry Cheerios and Banana Nut Cheerios of yesteryear, both have joined forces. There are also heart-shaped pieces, which makes me wonder if they’re trying to get a jump on Valentine’s Day. Bold move, General Mills.

How is it?

To me, Honey Nut Cheerios might be the perfect cereal. There’s a kind of spectrum that runs from bran flakes on the healthy end to Cocoa Puffs on the other, and Honey Nut Cheerios artfully balances right in the center like a world-class gymnast. The taste is just sweet enough that you feel like you’re getting a bit of a treat. Now I don’t know if Honey Nut Cheerios would really be considered healthy by nutritionists (who would probably recommend a breakfast of wild-caught salmon instead) but darnit, it FEELS healthy.

So the question here is whether or not these are as good as HNC. Short answer: no.

Limited Edition Strawberry Banana Cheerios Cereal Bowl

Strawberry Banana Cheerios have two types of pieces, pink and plain: they’re also in the shape of either hearts or traditional Cheerios “Os.” The pink are strawberry flavored, while the plain are, in theory, banana-flavored. While the pinks provided that standard artificial strawberry flavor you’ve encountered elsewhere, the plains had an aftertaste of popcorn, which is weird.

When I had the cereal in a bowl, I was able to taste a little bit of banana flavor. The pieces kept their integrity while I was eating and didn’t turn to mush, but considering how fast I can scarf down cereal, that’s a low bar to clear.

Limited Edition Strawberry Banana Cheerios Cereal Real Banana

I put a banana down next to my cereal knowing that next time, this cereal was going to get banana-fied, whether it wants to or not. This may be a crime.

Anything else you need to know?

Limited Edition Strawberry Banana Cheerios Cereal Back

From the back of the box I have learned that, sadly, a car powered by strawberry juice did not in fact drive across the state of Texas. Disappointing.

Conclusion:

Strawberry Banana Cheerios are inoffensive, but they are lacking in flavor. That’s okay though, because BYOB (Bring Your Own Banana).

Purchased Price: $4.88
Size: 14.9 oz box
Purchased at: Stop & Shop
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup) 140 calories, 2.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 11 grams total sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

ANNOUNCEMENT: New Impulsive Buy Reviewer Karen

Karen 7 Comments

Hi everyone, I’m Karen. Now I know what you’re thinking: as a Karen, I must be one of those women who gives every cashier a hard time and constantly asks to see the manager. Do not believe what the internet has told you: most Karens are completely harmless, even in a retail environment. It’s just a few soccer moms with delusions of grandeur that give all Karens a bad name.

I’ve always been a sweets lover. When I was a little kid, my Mom often had Ring Dings around the house, and I got to eat them as an afterschool snack. Ever since then, it has been my sole occupation in life to acquire more sweet treats. I got married and had a kid somewhere in there, but that just means I can steal my kid’s snacks. Okay, I don’t actually do that, but she has a whole basket of leftover Halloween candy right now…she doesn’t even look at it…what would be the harm…anyway, I like salty snacks from time to time too, but on the whole I’m a sugar lover. I’m also a coffee lover, although I went through a brief, intensive tea-head phase in 2019 that I still don’t understand. My main areas of food interests include bread, cakes, cookies, and cereals; if that seems incredibly broad to you, you’re not wrong.

I’m a professional writer, but I haven’t always been able to choose my subjects. I worked in newspapers for a couple of years, and while I wanted to write about boxed pie and Chips Ahoy varieties, the bosses wanted me to write about sewer management and school board meetings. It wasn’t always fun, but on the plus side, if you ever need someone to write cogently about legislative redistricting while eating an entire cake, I’m your girl. Nowadays I write fantasy novels, so I can write about vampires eating cake instead. I like this better than newspapers, although I do kind of miss the cookies they would put out at school board meetings. Some of the wealthier districts put out a good spread, no joke.

What else is important about me? I’m a big fan of comics and anime, but that’s largely because I need something for my eyeballs to do while I’m eating. X-Men>>>Avengers, I’m just saying. I’m also finishing up a Master’s degree in literature, because there’s nothing left to do once you’ve already made the mistake of majoring in English than to go hard-core. My favorite boxed snack is Little Debbie’s Nutty Buddies, which my husband claims taste like cardboard; the weird thing is, I actually agree with him on this, yet I still love them. It’s sort of cardboard-y but it’s got some cool textural thing going on that my mouth just loves. I’m a New Yorker, I say “soda,” not “pop,” and I am happy to be your new snack food guinea pig.