Author: Mark

QUICK REVIEW: Skittles Love Mix

Mark 3 Comments

Skittles Love Mix

I’m delighted that Skittles is expanding its five-flavor mixes to include Valentine’s Day. If you don’t have a special someone, candy is the best part of February 14, and Skittles Love Mix is something I would gladly welcome from a secret admirer.

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The darkest red is cherry. Cherry is one of those default flavors that usually isn’t very good, but the Skittles cherry is actually better than most other cherry-flavored candies.

The medium red is strawberry, and it tastes like strawberry Starburst. I like it the best of this mix.

The lightest red is watermelon. It’s a nice flavor reminiscent of summertime, but to me it tastes like it should be gum.

One of the whites, yumberry, returns from the America Mix. It’s a benign little flavor, but I have no idea what a yumberry is.

The other white is white grape. It reminds me of Dimetapp, but the grape flavor isn’t extremely potent.

I like all the flavors individually, and if you plop them in your mouth together, they play nicely.

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My biggest disappointment is the colors. You have five flavors for Valentine’s Day, and none of them are pink? Really? The colors are so close that they’re hard to distinguish. Watermelon is the only one that’s instantly recognizable. The yumberry and white grape are identical; and since I don’t know what a yumberry is, and the grape flavor isn’t very strong, I have a hard time knowing what one I’m eating even when I’m chewing it. I would have rather had pink grape.

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“Pink grape?” you ask. Well, yes. When I make juice from the green grapes that grow in my backyard, it comes out pink, oddly enough.

The colors didn’t tickle me pink, but the Love Mix will be an enjoyable option for your heart-shaped candy dish.

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Purchased Price: $2.69
Size: 11 oz. bag
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1.4 oz) 160 calories, 15 fat calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 10 milligrams of sodium, 37 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 30 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: 7-Eleven Mint Oreo Hot Chocolate

Mark 2 Comments

7 Eleven Mint Oreo Hot Chocolate

I’ve never been a big fan of buying hot chocolate from a gas station, food truck, or stand. Why fork out that money when you can go home and make your own from a powder? It’s a lot cheaper, and you won’t waste a disposable cup.

But, strangely, there’s something alluring about buying food from 7-Eleven. It might be overpriced garbage, but it’s tasty garbage. A guilty pleasure.

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When I filled up my cup with 7-Eleven’s Mint Oreo Hot Chocolate, I was excited about how thick, chocolatey, and sugary it looked. What could be better than that on a foggy, freezing day? But it would be several minutes before I would actually get to try it.

First of all, it was very steamy when it came out, and I wouldn’t be able to taste it if I scalded my tongue. Second, I didn’t want to be tasting it and taking pictures there in the 7-Eleven. Would people be judging me? (I did some judging of my own at 7-Eleven: I was grateful the cashier didn’t touch my cup or give me a receipt because she had just sneezed into her hand. Srsly, people, Dracula sneeze!)

And third, I recently got a new car, so I made it a rule not to eat or drink in it. I put my cup in the cup holder and didn’t touch it until I got to my work’s parking lot.

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When I finally tasted it, it had cooled but was still warm. It fulfilled its purpose as hot chocolate: warm, chocolatey, comforting.

Unfortunately, it fulfilled its purpose as Mint Oreo Hot Chocolate in all the wrong ways. The mint flavor was only subtle, and the Oreo flavor was even more subtle. A few sips almost seemed bland. Yet the one way it did seem like an Oreo was in a slimy, oily mouthfeel. It felt like I had a wad of Oreo creme in my mouth, but without the satisfaction of that actually happening. They left out the best part of a Mint Oreo (the flavor) but kept the worst (the post-cookie mouthfeel).

During the cooling period, a lot of the flavor had settled to the bottom, so the last few sips were better than the rest had been. I thought, “Oh, maybe it’s not so bad.” But then it occurred to me: if I had drunk it before the flavor had settled out, it would have been more flavorful than most of my experience, but it still would have been more diluted than the end. As it was, I thought the dregs were on the low end of the flavor I would have liked.

If your car breaks down on a winter’s day and you’re stuck next to a 7-Eleven, the Mint Oreo Hot Chocolate would comfort you against the chill. Otherwise, you’re better off making your own from powder and dropping in a candy cane.

(Nutrition Facts – Not available on 7-Eleven’s website.)

Purchased Price: $1.49
Size: 12 oz. cup
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Fulfills its purpose as hot chocolate: warm, chocolatey, comforting.
Cons: The mint and Oreo flavors are subtle. Leaves an unpleasant mouthfeel. Less economical than making your own.

REVIEW: Life Savers Butter Rum Candy Canes

Mark 1 Comment

Life Savers Butter Rum Candy Canes

Candy canes have two primary purposes. And the new Life Savers Butter Rum Candy Canes do a good job of fulfilling both purposes.

The first purpose is to be a festive decoration.

The color of a Butter Rum Lifesaver does not exactly conjure up images of Kris Kringle or winter wonderlands. Sia’s new Christmas song “Candy Cane Lane” describes a whole array of candy cane colors, yet brown or tan are not among them.

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Nevertheless, Life Savers Butter Rum Candy Canes are surprisingly festive and attractive, with a white base and two different shades of gold and brown. It looks way better than it would be if it were one solid rum color.

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It’s not as Christmassy as a traditional red, or even as festive as the multicolored cherry ones. But it would be perfect on a tree decorated with lots of gold ornaments, if that’s your thing. (It’s not mine.) I was surprised to find that the candy canes have inconsistent lengths.

The second purpose of a candy cane is, of course, to be candy. Peppermint is the classic flavor, and my favorite, but lots of people don’t like that, especially children. Kids tend to prefer fruity flavors, but I find them sickeningly sweet and artificial.

These Butter Rum Candy Canes will be a wonderful middle ground and will appeal to adults and kids. They taste like I remember ordinary Butter Rum Life Savers. Admittedly, it’s been a while since I had them, so I don’t know if they’re exactly the same, but if not, they’re close enough. The canes taste like a butterscotch candy, but a little more buttery. (I’m a teetotaler, so I can’t tell you if they taste like rum.)

I never noticed it until I had this variety, but there is a subtle candy cane flavor to most candy canes. I’m not talking about peppermint, but an underlying flavor that is unrelated to whatever the “real” flavor is. Peppermint candy canes have it, fruity candy canes have it, and these Butter Rum Candy Canes have it. Maybe I’m mistaking texture for flavor, but regardless, these definitely belong in the candy cane family.

Since these are true candy canes, they do come with typical candy cane hazards. The colored stripes dissolve faster than the white matrix and create sharp edges.

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Additionally, you can suck them into sharp swords. I associate swords with pirates. I also associate rum with pirates, so it fits.

I’m a mint-thusiast, so I’ll generally stick with the peppermint. But these are the best non-mint candy canes I’ve had in a while.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cane – 50 calories, 0 grams of fat, 20 milligrams of sodium, 12 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein..)

Purchased Price: $2.50
Size: 5.28 oz. box
Purchased at: Walgreens
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Tastes like Butter Rum Life Savers. A tasty middle ground between fruity and peppermint flavors. Looks festive even though it’s brown.
Cons: Typical candy cane hazards of sharpness. Butter Rum Life Savers do not have a naturally festive color.

REVIEW: Brach’s Fruit Cake Nougats

Mark 15 Comments

Brach s Fruit Cake Nougats

In many European folk tales, a family discovers that their child has been replaced with a changeling, a hideous, ill-tempered fairy baby.

I think Brach’s has a changeling on its hands.

I have always loved their Christmas Nougats: wonderful white peppermint, gorgeous green wintergreen, and pretty pink cinnamon.

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But the new member of the family, Brach’s Fruit Cake Nougat, is nothing like its siblings. It’s brown. And it doesn’t have the festive tree in the middle—just a few fruity globs that are drab when mixed in with the brown.

When I open up the bag, I get a whiff that is vaguely reminiscent of baked goods. But not grandmotherly baked goods. I never lived in a fraternity, but I imagine this is what a baked good in a frat house smells like.

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The flavor has that same off-putting baked-good vibe to it. Sometimes I detect a nuttiness. But mixed in with the baked good is a strong flavor of Fruity Pebbles. I like Fruity Pebbles, but not combined with whatever that other flavor is. Even once I’ve finished, the flavor lingers in my mouth.

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I find it perplexing that they decided to go with a fruitcake flavor. I’ve always felt that fruitcake jokes are more common than fruitcakes themselves. I even had to buy a fruitcake as a point of reference, because I haven’t had them enough to remember what they taste like.

In addition to the gummy, fruity bits, Brach’s uses real cranberries and raisins. Props to them for trying to make it like an authentic fruitcake. I guess. These candies don’t taste like the fruitcake I got; the fruitcake actually tastes better.

I can’t help but wonder who is really going to buy this —- and then who is really going to like it. They had so many other holiday flavors to choose from. Spearmint, gingerbread, sugar cookie, eggnog, cranberry orange, hot cocoa -— not all of those would be good as nougat, but most of them would be better than fruitcake.

In many of those European folk tales, the family would throw the changeling into the fire. It would escape out the chimney, and their own child would be restored to them.

Brach’s should treat their Fruit Cake Nougat the way any sensible person would —- kill it with fire!

Then maybe we’d get to see a lovely Christmas Nougat baby that actually belongs in the family. Spearmint, perhaps?

(Nutrition Facts – 4 pieces – 130 calories, 2 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 35 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 21 grams of sugar (including 17 grams of added sugars), and 0 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 9.5 oz. bag
Purchased at: Walgreens (exclusive flavor)
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: Uses actual cranberries and raisins. Has a Fruity Pebbles taste.
Cons: Tastes like baked goods from a frat house. Lingering flavor. As hideous as a changeling. Inferior to the other Christmas Nougats.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Gingerbread belVita Breakfast Biscuits

Mark 1 Comment

Limited Edition Gingerbread belVita Breakfast Biscuits

Is it just me, or have the food companies gotten lazy with their limited-edition offerings?

The big holiday flavors this year appear to be hot cocoa and gingerbread. For hot cocoa, all you do is take chocolate – usually an already existing flavor – and add marshmallows. It doesn’t even have to be hot, yet it still qualifies as hot cocoa.

Gingerbread is a little more innovative, but not much. It seems like most brands that have gingerbread also have pumpkin spice. Just swap out the pumpkin for molasses (if it even had pumpkin in the first place), add some ginger (if it didn’t already have some), and boom. Gingerbread.

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Unfortunately, these Limited Edition Gingerbread belVita Breakfast Biscuits are another lazy product. To me, they taste just like the pumpkin spice variety. (In fairness, I did not compare them side by side.)

They have a vague spiciness, and if I concentrate, I can taste the ginger. But I don’t taste molasses, even though it’s in the ingredients list.

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Here’s the problem I see: Gingerbread is a cookie, right? And breakfast biscuits are basically cookies, right? It shouldn’t be hard to make a cookie taste like a cookie. Yet these don’t taste like gingerbread.

I understand that it might not be practical to put in too much molasses. Gram for gram, these biscuits have less sugar than a lot of cereals, and if they put in molasses, it might exceed their desired sugar count—they would switch from being breakfast biscuits to being dessert biscuits. Plus, molasses is one of those weird ingredients with a distinctive, almost pungent, odor.

But at the very least, they could have stepped up their game with the spices. Ginger is the only spice mentioned by name in the ingredients, and the biscuits would have benefitted from actual cinnamon, nutmeg, and/or clove -— not just whatever is in “natural flavor.”

If these were simply marketed as a new belVita flavor that is not gingerbread, I would give them a 7 or 8. They have a pleasant oaty flavor and a satisfying crispness. They might not be enough as a meal, but they’re fulfilling as a snack. You get that preschool nostalgia of eating graham crackers, yet feel like an adult because they’re not actually graham crackers. I like ’em.

But since they call themselves gingerbread, they set a higher standard —- a standard they fail to reach.

(Nutrition Facts – 4 biscuits (50 grams) – 230 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 95 milligrams of potassium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein..)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 8.8 oz. box (5 packs)
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Cute packaging. A tasty, satisfying biscuit. You can taste the ginger if you concentrate. Pretending cookies are breakfast.
Cons: Doesn’t taste like gingerbread. Lazy limited edition foods.