Mark – Page 17 – The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: Life Savers Butter Rum Candy Canes

Mark / December 14, 2017 / Reviews / 1 Comment

Candy canes have two primary purposes. And the new Life Savers Butter Rum Candy Canes do a good job of fulfilling both purposes.

The first purpose is to be a festive decoration.

The color of a Butter Rum Lifesaver does not exactly conjure up images of Kris Kringle or winter wonderlands. Sia’s new Christmas song “Candy Cane Lane” describes a whole array of candy cane colors, yet brown or tan are not among them.

Nevertheless, Life Savers Butter Rum Candy Canes are surprisingly festive and attractive, with a white base and two different shades of gold and brown. It looks way better than it would be if it were one solid rum color.

It’s not as Christmassy as a traditional red, or even as festive as the multicolored cherry ones. But it would be perfect on a tree decorated with lots of gold ornaments, if that’s your thing. (It’s not mine.) I was surprised to find that the candy canes have inconsistent lengths.

The second purpose of a candy cane is, of course, to be candy. Peppermint is the classic flavor, and my favorite, but lots of people don’t like that, especially children. Kids tend to prefer fruity flavors, but I find them sickeningly sweet and artificial.

These Butter Rum Candy Canes will be a wonderful middle ground and will appeal to adults and kids. They taste like I remember ordinary Butter Rum Life Savers. Admittedly, it’s been a while since I had them, so I don’t know if they’re exactly the same, but if not, they’re close enough. The canes taste like a butterscotch candy, but a little more buttery. (I’m a teetotaler, so I can’t tell you if they taste like rum.)

I never noticed it until I had this variety, but there is a subtle candy cane flavor to most candy canes. I’m not talking about peppermint, but an underlying flavor that is unrelated to whatever the “real” flavor is. Peppermint candy canes have it, fruity candy canes have it, and these Butter Rum Candy Canes have it. Maybe I’m mistaking texture for flavor, but regardless, these definitely belong in the candy cane family.

Since these are true candy canes, they do come with typical candy cane hazards. The colored stripes dissolve faster than the white matrix and create sharp edges.

Additionally, you can suck them into sharp swords. I associate swords with pirates. I also associate rum with pirates, so it fits.

I’m a mint-thusiast, so I’ll generally stick with the peppermint. But these are the best non-mint candy canes I’ve had in a while.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cane – 50 calories, 0 grams of fat, 20 milligrams of sodium, 12 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein..)

Purchased Price: $2.50
Size: 5.28 oz. box
Purchased at: Walgreens
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Tastes like Butter Rum Life Savers. A tasty middle ground between fruity and peppermint flavors. Looks festive even though it’s brown.
Cons: Typical candy cane hazards of sharpness. Butter Rum Life Savers do not have a naturally festive color.

REVIEW: Brach’s Fruit Cake Nougats

Mark / November 30, 2017 / Reviews / 15 Comments

In many European folk tales, a family discovers that their child has been replaced with a changeling, a hideous, ill-tempered fairy baby.

I think Brach’s has a changeling on its hands.

I have always loved their Christmas Nougats: wonderful white peppermint, gorgeous green wintergreen, and pretty pink cinnamon.

But the new member of the family, Brach’s Fruit Cake Nougat, is nothing like its siblings. It’s brown. And it doesn’t have the festive tree in the middle—just a few fruity globs that are drab when mixed in with the brown.

When I open up the bag, I get a whiff that is vaguely reminiscent of baked goods. But not grandmotherly baked goods. I never lived in a fraternity, but I imagine this is what a baked good in a frat house smells like.

The flavor has that same off-putting baked-good vibe to it. Sometimes I detect a nuttiness. But mixed in with the baked good is a strong flavor of Fruity Pebbles. I like Fruity Pebbles, but not combined with whatever that other flavor is. Even once I’ve finished, the flavor lingers in my mouth.

I find it perplexing that they decided to go with a fruitcake flavor. I’ve always felt that fruitcake jokes are more common than fruitcakes themselves. I even had to buy a fruitcake as a point of reference, because I haven’t had them enough to remember what they taste like.

In addition to the gummy, fruity bits, Brach’s uses real cranberries and raisins. Props to them for trying to make it like an authentic fruitcake. I guess. These candies don’t taste like the fruitcake I got; the fruitcake actually tastes better.

I can’t help but wonder who is really going to buy this —- and then who is really going to like it. They had so many other holiday flavors to choose from. Spearmint, gingerbread, sugar cookie, eggnog, cranberry orange, hot cocoa -— not all of those would be good as nougat, but most of them would be better than fruitcake.

In many of those European folk tales, the family would throw the changeling into the fire. It would escape out the chimney, and their own child would be restored to them.

Brach’s should treat their Fruit Cake Nougat the way any sensible person would —- kill it with fire!

Then maybe we’d get to see a lovely Christmas Nougat baby that actually belongs in the family. Spearmint, perhaps?

(Nutrition Facts – 4 pieces – 130 calories, 2 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 35 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 21 grams of sugar (including 17 grams of added sugars), and 0 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 9.5 oz. bag
Purchased at: Walgreens (exclusive flavor)
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: Uses actual cranberries and raisins. Has a Fruity Pebbles taste.
Cons: Tastes like baked goods from a frat house. Lingering flavor. As hideous as a changeling. Inferior to the other Christmas Nougats.

Brach's Candy

REVIEW: Limited Edition Gingerbread belVita Breakfast Biscuits

Mark / November 16, 2017 / Reviews / 1 Comment

Is it just me, or have the food companies gotten lazy with their limited-edition offerings?

The big holiday flavors this year appear to be hot cocoa and gingerbread. For hot cocoa, all you do is take chocolate – usually an already existing flavor – and add marshmallows. It doesn’t even have to be hot, yet it still qualifies as hot cocoa.

Gingerbread is a little more innovative, but not much. It seems like most brands that have gingerbread also have pumpkin spice. Just swap out the pumpkin for molasses (if it even had pumpkin in the first place), add some ginger (if it didn’t already have some), and boom. Gingerbread.

Unfortunately, these Limited Edition Gingerbread belVita Breakfast Biscuits are another lazy product. To me, they taste just like the pumpkin spice variety. (In fairness, I did not compare them side by side.)

They have a vague spiciness, and if I concentrate, I can taste the ginger. But I don’t taste molasses, even though it’s in the ingredients list.

Here’s the problem I see: Gingerbread is a cookie, right? And breakfast biscuits are basically cookies, right? It shouldn’t be hard to make a cookie taste like a cookie. Yet these don’t taste like gingerbread.

I understand that it might not be practical to put in too much molasses. Gram for gram, these biscuits have less sugar than a lot of cereals, and if they put in molasses, it might exceed their desired sugar count—they would switch from being breakfast biscuits to being dessert biscuits. Plus, molasses is one of those weird ingredients with a distinctive, almost pungent, odor.

But at the very least, they could have stepped up their game with the spices. Ginger is the only spice mentioned by name in the ingredients, and the biscuits would have benefitted from actual cinnamon, nutmeg, and/or clove -— not just whatever is in “natural flavor.”

If these were simply marketed as a new belVita flavor that is not gingerbread, I would give them a 7 or 8. They have a pleasant oaty flavor and a satisfying crispness. They might not be enough as a meal, but they’re fulfilling as a snack. You get that preschool nostalgia of eating graham crackers, yet feel like an adult because they’re not actually graham crackers. I like ’em.

But since they call themselves gingerbread, they set a higher standard —- a standard they fail to reach.

(Nutrition Facts – 4 biscuits (50 grams) – 230 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 95 milligrams of potassium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein..)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 8.8 oz. box (5 packs)
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Cute packaging. A tasty, satisfying biscuit. You can taste the ginger if you concentrate. Pretending cookies are breakfast.
Cons: Doesn’t taste like gingerbread. Lazy limited edition foods.

belVita Cookies Nabisco

REVIEW: Hostess Limited Edition Peppermint Twinkies

Mark / November 8, 2017 / Reviews / 3 Comments

Who’s got a bandana that’s long and white? Twinkie’s got a bandana that’s long and white!

Who’s got a creme that’s mint instead? Twinkie’s got a creme that’s mint instead!

Mint instead, cake of red,

Bandana that’s white, winter delight,

Must be Twinkie, must be Twinkie, must be Twinkie, Twinkie Mint!

When I open up a package of these Hostess Peppermint Twinkies, I smell two distinct scents.

The first is a minty, Christmassy scent. For some reason, it reminds me of the first few hours after school on the last day before holiday break, eating the requisite candy cane they gave us at the school sing-along.

The second is the familiar odor of Twinkie sponge cake. If you’ve ever had a Twinkie, you know what I’m talking about. If you’ve never had a Twinkie, it doesn’t matter, because you don’t exist anyway.

The Twinkies are described as “peppermint cake with creamy filling,” but I wonder if they got it backwards, and it’s supposed to be “peppermint creamy filling with cake.” When I try to isolate the components, I don’t detect any peppermint in the red-colored cake, but I do in the filling. Some weird kind of cross-contamination of flavors, maybe?

But maybe it’s in both because when I eat the cake like a normal person, it’s mintier than either part on its own. The textures are what you’d expect -— a soft, spongy cake with a light, airy filling. The minty flavor gives the humble Twinkie a nice festive upgrade. It’s not as minty as a mint-thusiast like me would like, but it works, and I suspect that even mint-averse folks could get on board with this candy-cane-esque cake.

Considering that it’s a Twinkie, I have no complaints. It’s not a gourmet, decadent dessert, but it never claimed to be. It just claimed to be a limited edition suitable for the month of December (or November, apparently). I like this better than last year’s White Peppermint Twinkies or last spring’s Shamrock CupCakes.

Remember that episode of The Simpsons where Homer wanted to gain weight so he could go on disability? Dr. Nick advised him to eat from the neglected food groups: “Remember, if you’re not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it’s your window to weight gain.” Well, I got that greasy spot on my paper towel. So if you’ve been asked to play Santa Claus at your office Christmas party, these Twinkies are a tasty way to become your new jolly self.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cakes – 230 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 340 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 30 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 13.58 oz. box/10 cakes
Purchased at: Dick’s Market
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Nothing to complain about. Might appeal to people who don’t like mint. Festive upgrade to a classic standby. Coining the term “mint-thusiast.”
Cons: Not as minty as some would like. Leaves grease stains. The beginning of holiday weight gain.

Hostess Twinkies

QUICK REVIEW: Nestle Toll House Limited Edition Pumpkin Cobbler Cookie Dough

Mark / October 27, 2017 / Reviews / 2 Comments

I’ve had my share of unusual pumpkin items, and I’ve made some unique cobblers (leek cobbler, anyone?). But I have never even heard of pumpkin cobbler. I’m sure someone’s made it somewhere, but as far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t exist.

Nestle has made a cookie flavored like something that doesn’t exist with this Toll House Pumpkin Cobbler dough. It’s described as “cookie dough with pumpkin, oats, spices and a pumpkin pie filling.”

All the cookies are stuck together in cubes. They didn’t separate perfectly along the dough perforation, but it was good enough. In a matter of seconds, they were ready to go in the oven. Preheating takes longer than preparation.

They took longer to bake than the 11–12 minutes recommended on the package, but I think that’s because I used a cooking stone instead of a metal baking sheet, and I live at an elevation of 5,000 feet.

My biggest disappointment was the pumpkin filling. I expected it to be the texture of pumpkin pie or even apple butter, but it was a syrupy, sticky substance, reminiscent of the residue leftover in the jam jar.

But just because the filling wasn’t what I had hoped doesn’t mean the cookie wasn’t good. I can definitely taste the oats, and while the ingredients don’t specify what spices are in it, I could detect cinnamon and probably nutmeg. I had a harder time noticing the pumpkin, but I think it’s there.

There’s a tendency to regard these premade, preportioned cookie doughs as utterly plebeian, inferior to cookies made from scratch. I don’t disagree, but there’s something to be said for warm, fresh-out-of-the-oven cookies without mixing bowls in the sink or flour spilled on the counter. These are a tasty option for two dozen quick treats on an autumn afternoon.

Purchased Price: $2.79
Size: 16 oz. package
Purchased at: Dick’s Market
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cookie) 80 calories, 3 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 12 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.

Cookie Dough Cookies Nestle Nestle Toll House