Author: Mark

REVIEW: Milk Chocolate Pumpkin Pie M&M’s

Mark 1 Comment

We live in an era when food companies try to inject pumpkin spice into everything and when Mars introduces multiple unique flavors throughout the seasons. What a time to be alive! (I say that in earnest.)

So, of course, Mars has experimented with pumpkin spice versions of America’s favorite candy-coated chocolate. (Well, at least the country’s favorite candy-coated chocolate that is not shaped like eggs.) M&M’s introduced a Milk Chocolate Pumpkin Spice flavor in 2013, with spice flavors mixed with chocolate. In 2015, it switched to Milk Chocolate Pumpkin Spice Latte, which I never tried. And in 2017, it ditched the milk chocolate and introduced White Pumpkin Pie M&M’s, which stuck around for a few years. That version was my favorite, and I thought it came close to pumpkin pie. The 2024 offering combines the milk chocolate of a decade ago with the “pie” name of 2017.

(True story: I bought the pumpkin spice flavor in 2013 and 2014. Then, in 2019, I found an old package of it in my house that had somehow managed to escape the trash can, and there was one solitary M&M left inside. You better believe I ate it because what kind of a candy reviewer would I be if I didn’t? It wasn’t great after five years, but I didn’t die.)

This new variety is the standard size of M&M’s novelty flavors, and there is no special filling besides the chocolate. It just tastes like chocolate and spices to me. My palate isn’t discerning enough to tell you what spices, but it definitely tastes like fall. I’m reminded of the pumpkin spice hot cocoa I take on September camping trips, and I think of October trail runs among the yellow and red leaves.

Beyond the spices, though, I’m afraid these really have nothing in common with pumpkin pie, texturally or flavor-wise. Nothing reminds me of crust. Nothing reminds me of the squishy, custardy part of pumpkin pie. Nothing reminds me of the namesake squash.

It wouldn’t surprise me if Mars reused the pumpkin spice recipe from 2013 and 2014. But I can’t know for sure because it’s been ten (…or five) years since I had that one.

M&M’s stopped making the White Pumpkin Pie version, and I can’t help but feel like this milk chocolate version is a step backward. It’s hard to complain about chocolate, but Mars promised me pumpkin pie, and it failed to deliver.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 2.47 oz. bag
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/2 pack, 35 grams) 170 calories, 7 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 25 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 22 grams of sugar including 20 grams of added sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Campfire S’mores Cup Noodles

Mark 3 Comments

Ah, summertime: that period of the year for road trips, pool parties, outdoor concerts, and stuffing marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate into every conceivable sweet. Like cereal, cookies, and ramen.

Wait. Ramen?

Yes. Ramen.

In recent years, Nissin’s Cup Noodles have provided us with unusual sweet and savory mashups: pumpkin spice, breakfast, and everything bagel. And now s’mores have joined the noodley family. I was pleasantly surprised by the pumpkin spice variety, so I was eager to try this one.

When I remove the lid, I see the usual dry noodles with mini marshmallows on top. It’s an amusing and tantalizing sight: I enjoy s’mores-flavored treats, and the marshmallows remind me of what is supposed to be coming. There’s also a brown and tan powder, which I presume is the chocolate and graham crackers.

I pour water into the cup to the fill line, then microwave it for three minutes as instructed (I’m very good at following rules), and it still bubbles over.

Unlike an actual s’more, there are no gooey marshmallows to enjoy after cooking. Instead, they have dissolved with the rest of the ingredients. Oh well, that means the flavor will just incorporate with the other ingredients to taste like a delectable campfire treat, right?

Unfortunately, it is difficult for me to taste any s’mores flavor. I don’t taste graham crackers or chocolate, and marshmallows don’t really have a flavor. There’s just a generic sweetness mixed with a generic savoriness. The list of ingredients includes garlic powder and onion powder. I don’t detect those (thankfully), but I still taste a bit of a usual Cup Noodles umami.

This product is weird because what else would you expect from s’mores ramen? But more than anything, it’s disappointing. The noodles don’t really taste like what they’re supposed to. If I want a sweet treat, I can grab one of the million other s’mores items. If I want something savory, there are better options.

Look, these noodles won’t ruin your summer. They’re better than a sunburn or a mosquito bite. Instead, they’re more like that one book you read one day during summer vacation but can’t remember what it’s about or that nondescript snow cone you got at the amusement park. Campfire S’mores Cup Noodles just aren’t that interesting or memorable.

Purchased Price: $1.18
Size: 3.07 oz
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 container) 400 calories, 14 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 800 milligrams of sodium, 61 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 9 grams of sugar (including 9 grams of added sugar), and 7 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Powerade Sour Sports Drinks

Mark 2 Comments

Just in time for summer sweat season, Powerade has introduced three flavors in its new Sour line: Blue Razz, Watermelon Lime, and Green Apple.

Let’s get this out of the way first: we all know they should have called it Sourade.

Blue Razz is my favorite of the three. It reminds me of a blue Sour Patch Kid, but not as sour. At first, I was underwhelmed by the sourness. But after going on a six-mile evening run, I found that I couldn’t chug this drink because my mouth wanted to pucker just a little bit and savor the tartness. It’s not like a Warhead or Cry Baby bubble gum; rather, it has just enough of a punch to notice the sourness.

Watermelon Lime is the most confusing of the three. I have never heard of those fruits paired together before, yet it manages not to taste like either. Yes, I know that watermelon flavor doesn’t actually taste like watermelon, but I do know what watermelon candy tastes like. If I concentrate really hard, I can kind of taste watermelon candy, but not the lime. In a blind taste test, there is no way I would guess either of the flavors. It is also less sour than the others.

Green Apple has the same sour level as Blue Razz. It has a nice fake apple flavor. However, I love Gatorade Fierce Green Apple, and the Powerade just seems less, well, fierce. It’s not as flavorful, and I don’t think it’s any more sour.

I usually drink powdered Gatorade to replenish my electrolytes after a long, sweaty workout. Powerade Sour is not going to do anything to change that. But if you are even casually interested in Powerade, these flavors are worth a try.

Purchased Price: $0.88 each
Size: 28 fl oz bottles
Purchased at: Smith’s Marketplace
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Blue Razz), 5 out of 10 (Watermelon Lime), 6 out of 10 (Green Apple)
Nutrition Facts: (12 fl oz) 80 calories, 0 grams of fat, 250 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 21 grams of sugar including 21 grams of added sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: KFC Apple Pie Poppers

Mark 9 Comments

One institution of Americana, Kentucky Fried Chicken, has added another icon of Americana, apple pie, to its menu.

These new KFC Apple Pie Poppers feature apple pie filling inside a crust, available in orders of four or ten. They are roughly two inches long, with a seam on one side and slits on the other.

The filling is pretty standard for canned or mass-produced apple pie: small apple chunks in a thick syrup with a noticeable quantity of cinnamon. It’s nowhere near as good as a pie made with fresh apples, but of course, I don’t expect that from a fast food restaurant. I like the way some of the syrupy filling caramelizes as it oozes out of the crust.

And speaking of crust, the pastry is really the star here. It is soft, chewy, and even a little bit stretchy. I know that sounds weird and possibly gross, but I don’t know how else to describe it. It has a wonderful texture! And the flavor is satisfying and buttery.

Taken together, the filling and the crust are similar to apple pies or turnovers from other fast food joints. If you’re reading this blog, you’ve probably eaten something nearly identical at some point.

There is nothing groundbreaking about these KFC Apple Pie Poppers, and I don’t know if I’ll go out of my way to have them again, especially since Kentucky Fried Chicken is not in my regular fast food rotation. However, they are still a tasty dessert option, and they seem like the kind of thing KFC really ought to have on its menu.

Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: 4-piece order
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 piece) 80 calories, 5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 55 milligrams of sodium, 9 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Honey Bunches of Oats Frosted Bunches Cereal

Mark 15 Comments

Post doesn’t release limited-edition Honey Bunches of Oats flavors very often, so when it does, pay attention!

Except this new Frosted Bunches variety, sadly, isn’t worth paying much attention to. Really, the most interesting part of the whole cereal is the wintry box with a yeti theme. (Why are yetis having a moment now?)

I happened to have the bottom half of a box of Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds, so I was able to make a few comparisons between the new one and the classic.

With “Frosted Bunches” as the name of this new cereal, I assumed the oat clusters would be different. And yet, I* can’t really taste a difference between the bunches. If they are different, I don’t know what it is.

(*See what I did there? “yet, I”? “yeti”?)

The real difference is actually in the flakes. All of them in the Frosted Bunches variety are lighter in color and sweeter. This cereal would be better called Honey Bunches of Oats Frosted Flakes instead of Frosted Bunches. So, basically, this is a sweeter version of regular Honey Bunches of Oats, and the nutrition facts bear that out.

And despite an extra dose of “Bunches” in this cereal’s name, it seems to have fewer, not more, bunches in the cereal itself.

Look, Honey Bunches of Oats has long been one of my favorite cereals, so I will gladly finish this box. But it is not significantly different from the regular varieties. I only notice the differences because I’m looking for them. The ingredient lists have mostly the same ingredients, just in a different order.

The differences are not significant enough for me to make it worth the extra sugar in this Frosted Bunches edition, mainly because the regular version has more textural and flavor contrasts.

This cereal might be boring, but I hope to see more exciting limited edition offerings from Honey Bunches of Oats in the future. (How have we not yet seen a pumpkin spice variety?!)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 11 oz. box
Purchased at: Smith’s (Kroger)
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup/40 grams) 160 calories, 2 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 11 grams of sugar including 11 grams of added sugar, and 2 grams of protein.