Author: Marvo

REVIEW: Baskin-Robbins BRight Choices Premium Churned Light Ice Cream (Vanilla & Chocolate)

Marvo 15 Comments

Ice cream is the GREATEST COMFORT FOOD THAT TAKES YOU ON AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER RIDE EVAR!

That’s right. You read what I typed with my caps lock key on. How many foods out there can make you feel so good while eating it, but make you feel so bad after eating it?

It’s like illegal drugs with their highs and lows. And just like illegal drugs, you can get ice cream anytime of the day because dealers, like most convenient stores and Wal-Marts, are available 24 hours a day. As long as you’ve got the money, you can get your honey. Pints of ice cream are like nickelbags, half gallons are like bricks, and those three gallon tubs of ice cream are like all-you-can-smoke buffets.

As I wrote earlier, the problem with ice cream is that it makes you feel bad after eating it. The saturated fat that comes with good ice cream is like the THC in weed, you know it’s bad for you, but it’s what makes it so good. Thankfully, Baskin-Robbins has created their BRight Choices Premium Churned Light Ice Cream that has 50% less fat and 20% fewer calories than their regular ice cream.

The Premium Churned Light Ice Cream comes in a few flavors, but I chose milk chocolate and vanilla varieties because I love the message behind the Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder song “Ebony and Ivory” and I try to bring them together as much as possible and because the Baskin-Robbins I went to only had three Premium Churned flavors to choose from.

When I put Premium Churned ice cream into my warm mouth I thought it wasn’t as creamy as regular full-fat, pants-ripping ice cream. Between the two flavors, the vanilla one was my least favorite because it tasted exactly how I expected a 50% less fat ice cream should taste — kind of bland. The vanilla flavor wasn’t very strong and I felt it didn’t come close to tasting like full-fat, pants-button-popping-off ice cream, which was disappointing because the milk chocolate flavor was a different story. If someone were to give me the Premium Churned Milk Chocolate Light Ice Cream while I was blindfolded with my limbs restrained in a torture rack and a leather-clad woman named Olga feeding me spoonfuls of it in between the whip lashes she’s giving me, I wouldn’t think it was a reduced fat ice cream. It was surprisingly good and really chocolatey.

Hopefully the Baskin-Robbins BRight Choices Premium Churned Light Ice Cream won’t make you feel so bad after gorging on them. With 50% less fat and 20% less calories than their full-fat counterparts, the roller coaster ride you’ll have after eating them will feel like Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride instead of Space Mountain.

(Nutrition Facts – 2.5 ounce scoop – Vanilla – 130 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbs, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 18 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, 6% Vitamin A, 2% Vitamin C, and 15% Calcium. Milk Chocolate – 130 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbs, 1 grams of dietary fiber, 18 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, 6% Vitamin A, 2% Vitamin C, 15% Calcium, and 2% Iron.)

Item: Baskin-Robbins BRight Choices Premium Churned Light Ice Cream (Vanilla & Chocolate)
Price: FREE (received coupons from nice PR folks)
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Baskin-Robbins
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Milk Chocolate)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Vanilla)
Pros: Milk Chocolate flavor was surprisingly really good and chocolatey and didn’t taste like a reduced fat ice cream. 50% less fat and 20% less calories than Baskin-Robbins’ regular ice cream. “Ebony and Ivory” is a classic song. Being blindfolded, restrained in a torture rack, and whipped by a leather-clad woman named Olga.
Cons: Not as creamy as full-fat ice cream. Vanilla flavor was kind of bland. The BRight Choices Premium Churned Light Ice Cream doesn’t come in a lot of flavors. The bill for being blindfolded, restrained in a torture rack, and whipped by a leather-clad woman named Olga.

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Taco Nachos

Marvo 19 Comments

As I’ve said many times before, I’m not a fan of Jack in the Box’s tacos because there’s not much filling in them and they’re greasier than a Best Buy employee trying to sell you the extended warranty, TV calibration and the overpriced HDMI Monster Cable to go with your new HDTV. Because of my feelings towards Jack in the Box’s tacos, I didn’t expect much from their new Taco Nachos.

The Jack in the Box Taco Nachos is made up of their regular beef nachos cut up into thirds, placed on a bed of shredded lettuce and topped with a cheddar cheese sauce, pepper jack cheese and pickled jalapeno slices with salsa and a plastic fork on the side.

As you can see in the picture above, it looks like the Jack in the Box tacos went partying with Tara Reid, then puked out most of its fillings and ended up lying in its own filth. As you can also see in the picture, the taco shells look soaked which means that they’re either oil sponges or they competed in a wet t-shirt contest while partying with Tara Reid.

If you like Jack in the Box tacos, the orange glow of melted cheddar cheese and jalapenos, you will like the Taco Nachos even though they look like a bastardized version of nachos. I may not enjoy Jack in the Box’s regular tacos, but I did somewhat enjoy the Taco Nachos thanks to the previously mentioned cheddar cheese sauce and jalapenos. Both of them added a lot of flavor to the dish and the jalapenos also gave it a little heat. There were enough jalapeno slices to provide one for each Taco Nacho piece.

At $1.99, the Jack in the Box Taco Nachos is a decent meal or snack. If it was priced at $2.49 or more, it wouldn’t be worth it, since Jack in the Box’s regular tacos are pretty much dirt cheap.

I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the Jack in the Box Taco Nachos, but I guess my heart has a place for radioactive orange cheddar cheese sauce and pickled jalapeno slices. If Jack in the Box’s regular tacos had on the inside what the Taco Nachos had on the outside, I might actually like them.

(Nutrition Facts – Unavailable on website.)

Item: Jack in the Box Taco Nachos
Price: $1.99
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Surprisingly good. Cheddar cheese sauce and jalapenos make it tasty. Jalapenos provided a little heat. It’s worth $1.99. If you enjoy JITB tacos, you’ll like these. Comes with plastic fork.
Cons: It’s not worth it if it’s more than $1.99. Looks like it puked out its filling. Oil soaked taco shells. Aggressive Best Buy salespeople.

NEWS: Taco Bell Offers Two New Platters for the Big Game…Oh Wait

Marvo 13 Comments

Today, Taco Bell introduced their new Beef Soft Tacos Supreme Platter and Spicy Chicken Enchilada Platter. Along with the main entrees, each platter also holds seasoned rice, refried beans, tortilla chips and tangy chunky salsa.

When I look at these platters and the food they provide, I wonder if they were meant for two people and if it would be all right if I called the enchilada one, “The Phallic Platter,” and the taco one, “The Yonic Platter,” because I’m a 33-year-old man with the mind of a 12-year-old boy, who just happens to know what “yonic” means.

The Beef Soft Tacos Supreme Platters has 1040 calories, 48 grams of fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of trans fat, 2810 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of dietary fiber, and 36 grams of protein. While the Spicy Chicken Enchilada Platter has 1030 calories, 44 grams of fat, 14 grams of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of trans fat, 3330 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of dietary fiber, and 41 grams of protein.

NEWS: Naked Juice Introduces New Acai and Pomegranate Flavors

Marvo 10 Comments

This week, Naked Juice introduced two new flavors to their lineup of smoothies and juices — Acai Machine smoothie and Pomegranate juice.

(Editor’s Note: Bah! It turns out that Naked Juice has an Acai Pomegranate juice, making the next paragraph incorrect.)

Naked Juice is coming late to the antioxidant party, since pomegranate was big in 2007 and acai was the shiznit in 2008. It makes me wonder if they’re only now putting up their Friendster profile. I guess late is better than never, but unfortunately for Naked Juice the kegs are empty and all the pizza is gone. Although being Naked Juice, they’re probably not into drinking beer and eating pizza.

But I think they might be into the stripper.

The Naked Acai Machine smoothie will have 178 acai berries in every 15.2 ounce bottle and also include the benefits of vitamin A, vitamin C, vitamin E, elderberry, beet, black currant and grape seed extracts. The Naked Pomegranate juice will contain 4 1/3 California pomegranates in each 15.2 ounce bottle.

The Acai Machine will retail for $3.79 and the Pomegranate juice for $4.49.

NEWS: New Nachos Make Jack in the Box Look Like Jose in the Box

Marvo 9 Comments

First off, I have to admit that I’m not a fan of Jack in the Box tacos. There are people out there who swear by them, but its oil-soaked taco shell won’t appeal to me until I can go all Willie Nelson on my Toyota Corolla’s ass and turn it into a biofuel vehicle that I can fill up by wringing the oil from those greasy Jack in the Box tacos.

But for those of you who <3 their tacos, Jack in the Box recently introduced their Taco Nachos, which is basically their tacos cut in half topped with a cheddar cheese sauce, pepper jack cheese and jalapeno slices served with salsa on the side. Nutrition values weren’t on the Jack in the Box website yet, but using the values from two regular beef tacos, the Taco Nachos will have more than 320 calories, 16 grams of fat, 2 grams of trans fat, and 540 milligrams of sodium. The Taco Nachos are available at the suggested price of $1.99.

(via Snackosaurus Rex)