Author: Marvo

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Taco Nachos

Marvo 19 Comments

As I’ve said many times before, I’m not a fan of Jack in the Box’s tacos because there’s not much filling in them and they’re greasier than a Best Buy employee trying to sell you the extended warranty, TV calibration and the overpriced HDMI Monster Cable to go with your new HDTV. Because of my feelings towards Jack in the Box’s tacos, I didn’t expect much from their new Taco Nachos.

The Jack in the Box Taco Nachos is made up of their regular beef nachos cut up into thirds, placed on a bed of shredded lettuce and topped with a cheddar cheese sauce, pepper jack cheese and pickled jalapeno slices with salsa and a plastic fork on the side.

As you can see in the picture above, it looks like the Jack in the Box tacos went partying with Tara Reid, then puked out most of its fillings and ended up lying in its own filth. As you can also see in the picture, the taco shells look soaked which means that they’re either oil sponges or they competed in a wet t-shirt contest while partying with Tara Reid.

If you like Jack in the Box tacos, the orange glow of melted cheddar cheese and jalapenos, you will like the Taco Nachos even though they look like a bastardized version of nachos. I may not enjoy Jack in the Box’s regular tacos, but I did somewhat enjoy the Taco Nachos thanks to the previously mentioned cheddar cheese sauce and jalapenos. Both of them added a lot of flavor to the dish and the jalapenos also gave it a little heat. There were enough jalapeno slices to provide one for each Taco Nacho piece.

At $1.99, the Jack in the Box Taco Nachos is a decent meal or snack. If it was priced at $2.49 or more, it wouldn’t be worth it, since Jack in the Box’s regular tacos are pretty much dirt cheap.

I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the Jack in the Box Taco Nachos, but I guess my heart has a place for radioactive orange cheddar cheese sauce and pickled jalapeno slices. If Jack in the Box’s regular tacos had on the inside what the Taco Nachos had on the outside, I might actually like them.

(Nutrition Facts – Unavailable on website.)

Item: Jack in the Box Taco Nachos
Price: $1.99
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Surprisingly good. Cheddar cheese sauce and jalapenos make it tasty. Jalapenos provided a little heat. It’s worth $1.99. If you enjoy JITB tacos, you’ll like these. Comes with plastic fork.
Cons: It’s not worth it if it’s more than $1.99. Looks like it puked out its filling. Oil soaked taco shells. Aggressive Best Buy salespeople.

NEWS: Taco Bell Offers Two New Platters for the Big Game…Oh Wait

Marvo 13 Comments

Today, Taco Bell introduced their new Beef Soft Tacos Supreme Platter and Spicy Chicken Enchilada Platter. Along with the main entrees, each platter also holds seasoned rice, refried beans, tortilla chips and tangy chunky salsa.

When I look at these platters and the food they provide, I wonder if they were meant for two people and if it would be all right if I called the enchilada one, “The Phallic Platter,” and the taco one, “The Yonic Platter,” because I’m a 33-year-old man with the mind of a 12-year-old boy, who just happens to know what “yonic” means.

The Beef Soft Tacos Supreme Platters has 1040 calories, 48 grams of fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of trans fat, 2810 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of dietary fiber, and 36 grams of protein. While the Spicy Chicken Enchilada Platter has 1030 calories, 44 grams of fat, 14 grams of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of trans fat, 3330 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of dietary fiber, and 41 grams of protein.

NEWS: Naked Juice Introduces New Acai and Pomegranate Flavors

Marvo 10 Comments

This week, Naked Juice introduced two new flavors to their lineup of smoothies and juices — Acai Machine smoothie and Pomegranate juice.

(Editor’s Note: Bah! It turns out that Naked Juice has an Acai Pomegranate juice, making the next paragraph incorrect.)

Naked Juice is coming late to the antioxidant party, since pomegranate was big in 2007 and acai was the shiznit in 2008. It makes me wonder if they’re only now putting up their Friendster profile. I guess late is better than never, but unfortunately for Naked Juice the kegs are empty and all the pizza is gone. Although being Naked Juice, they’re probably not into drinking beer and eating pizza.

But I think they might be into the stripper.

The Naked Acai Machine smoothie will have 178 acai berries in every 15.2 ounce bottle and also include the benefits of vitamin A, vitamin C, vitamin E, elderberry, beet, black currant and grape seed extracts. The Naked Pomegranate juice will contain 4 1/3 California pomegranates in each 15.2 ounce bottle.

The Acai Machine will retail for $3.79 and the Pomegranate juice for $4.49.

NEWS: New Nachos Make Jack in the Box Look Like Jose in the Box

Marvo 9 Comments

First off, I have to admit that I’m not a fan of Jack in the Box tacos. There are people out there who swear by them, but its oil-soaked taco shell won’t appeal to me until I can go all Willie Nelson on my Toyota Corolla’s ass and turn it into a biofuel vehicle that I can fill up by wringing the oil from those greasy Jack in the Box tacos.

But for those of you who <3 their tacos, Jack in the Box recently introduced their Taco Nachos, which is basically their tacos cut in half topped with a cheddar cheese sauce, pepper jack cheese and jalapeno slices served with salsa on the side. Nutrition values weren’t on the Jack in the Box website yet, but using the values from two regular beef tacos, the Taco Nachos will have more than 320 calories, 16 grams of fat, 2 grams of trans fat, and 540 milligrams of sodium. The Taco Nachos are available at the suggested price of $1.99.

(via Snackosaurus Rex)

REVIEW: Bertolli Premium Champignon & Portobello Mushroom Pasta Sauce

Marvo 9 Comments

While it’s impressive that it takes only 90 seconds to heat up the Bertolli Premium Champignon & Portobello Mushroom Pasta Sauce, having to wait 10-15 minutes for the noodles to be prepared pretty much defeats the purpose of the sauce’s quickness, unless you don’t eat noodles because you’ve been following the Atkins Diet religiously since 1999 and think that noodles are the devil’s pitchfork poking at your pudgy sides.

The instructions to heat this bag of pasta sauce was extremely easy. All I had to do was cut off one of the top corners of the bag to let it vent, stick it in the microwave for 90 seconds, dance during those 90 seconds, let it cool down for a minute and then pour it over my pasta of choice, which is either linguine or whatever that pasta in Spaghetti O’s is called.

But perhaps the instructions were too easy. I don’t know about you, but I like a little excitement when I’m cooking or warming up food. The chance of something exploding, me getting hurt or staining my clothing is quite exhilarating. That’s why my nipples get stiff whenever I see Benihana chefs go at some food with knives or when someone deep fries an entire turkey in a huge pot of boiling oil.

However I am thankful I can kick it how my grandma used to kick it and heat it on a stove. I won’t be able heat it up in 90 seconds, because unfortunately my stove goes up to 11 (Yeah, that’s right. I just dropped a Spinal Tap reference).

The pasta sauce was piping hot as I added it to my linguine noodles and there’s enough sauce for three servings. It was slightly chunky and there were small bits of mushrooms, but there weren’t huge slices like what’s shown on the front of the package. Even with all of those small bits of mushrooms, I could hardly taste them over the tomato sauce. Overall, it was a tasty pasta sauce, but I think if there was more of a mushroom flavor, it would’ve been even better.

The sauce may have been good, but I think I would prefer pasta sauce that comes in a glass bottle not only because it provides 2-3 times more pasta sauce than this product at the same price, but also because if I drop the bottle there is a good chance that I might get hurt, it will explode, and I will stain my clothes.

Oh! Just thinking about it almost made something else explode.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup (about 3 servings per bag) – 80 calories, 4 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 450 milligrams of sodium, 10 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, 1 gram of protein, 60% Vitamin A, 15% Calcium, 10% Vitamin C, and 10% Iron.)

Item: Bertolli Premium Champignon & Portobello Mushroom Pasta Sauce
Price: $2.50 on sale
Size: 13.5 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tasty sauce. Slightly chunky. Convenient and really quick to warm up (90 seconds). Danger in the kitchen. Can also heat on a stove. The pasta in Spaghetti O’s.
Cons: No big slices of mushrooms, only small bits. Light mushroom flavor. Pasta sauce in bottles provide 2-3 times more sauce at the same price. Champignon is not the same as champagne.