Author: Natalie

REVIEW: Lay’s Cheddar Bacon Mac & Cheese Potato Chips

Natalie 16 Comments

Lay's Cheddar Bacon Mac & Cheese Potato Chips

To my dear Impulsive Buy readers:

I have a bit of a confession to make.

If you’re as attentive to my reviews as my ego likes to imagine you are, you may have noticed my reviews on this site focus 100 percent on sugar. I completely avoid the fast food section. Some of this has to do with the fact that the closest McDonald’s is a half hour excursion, but it also has to do with the fact that I don’t really eat meat.

I know, I am sorry.

I’m definitely not about to get all PETA on anyone, I just never really liked meat and decided the easiest way to get out of eating burnt hamburgers at cookouts was to just give it up. This has worked well, except for one exception. Bacon.

The thing is, most other meats have some form of suitable substitute out there. But bacon is irreplaceable; it’s God’s bookmark. Have you ever tried the horrendous slices of fake bacon that look like the polymer clay art projects I used to make in Girl Scouts?

So instead of giving up bacon, I have spent the last five years hosting brunches so that I can fill my apartment with the smell of bacon fat, “accidentally” eating the veggie dishes that I know have bacon bits in them, and using Bacon Salt far more liberally than I should. I am a fraud, and this is my confessional.

I had high hopes for these Lay’s Cheddar Bacon Mac & Cheese Potato Chips, since they had the potential to fulfill my bacon cravings without coming across as a complete hypocrite to all those who think I’m a real vegetarian. And while they weren’t as innovative as some of the other flavor submissions I saw, like “Salty Tears of Regret” and “Placenta,” bacon and mac & cheese are both pretty safe flavors in the salty snacks category.

Lay's Cheddar Bacon Mac & Cheese Potato Chips Bag

After opening the bag, I got a strong whiff of cheddar, and that’s about it. In my first few bites, all I could think about were the cheddar and sour cream chips I used to inhale. Thinking that maybe my palate was lacking its bacon detecting skills, I consulted my roommate in a taste test without letting her know what flavor they were. She too thought they were just cheddar and sour cream. If I really paid close attention, I could detect a slight bacon-y aftertaste. But I can also not identify a single point in my life where I have sat down and mindfully thought about each bite of a chip instead of just chomping on handfuls.

Because I was unconvinced in my first taste of these, I left about half the bag sitting in my room for a week to go back for a second test. And because I am lazy and bad at storing food, I left the bag completely open to go stale. Strangely, on this test, I could detect much more bacon flavor. It may have had something to do with the soft stale chip texture being reminiscent of bacon fat, but I may also just be crazy and searching for a satisfying meatless bacon substitute.

Lay's Cheddar Bacon Mac & Cheese Potato Chips Closeup

Of all the Do Us a Flavor finalists, Cheddar Bacon Mac & Cheese is near the top. But I would vote for the Wasabi Ginger instead just because these seem too similar to current offerings.

I dream of an America where we can have the ridiculous assortment of chip flavors that they have overseas. However, I’m not sure if the general consumer is as amped at the thought of salmon teriyaki chips as I am, so I see these easily appealing to the widest audience.

If you know you’re not an adventurous eater, these would be the chips to try. Otherwise, I’d recommend trying all the finalists. You can find them in small bags and you can force your friends to eat the ones you don’t like without telling them what they are. Although they’re pretty mainstream, they’re pretty good. I’ll just keep my fingers crossed for Lay’s Placenta Potato Chips next year.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 oz/about 15 chips – 160 calories, 90 calories from fat, 10 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 320 milligrams of potassium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Lay’s Cheddar Bacon Mac & Cheese Potato Chips
Purchased Price: $2.00
Size: 2 7/8 oz bag
Purchased at: Co-op Food Stores
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Safe flavor. Appealing combo. Finding ways to still secretly get bacon in my life. Flavor intensifies when stale. Forcing your friends to eat gross food without knowing it. Placenta chips of the future.
Cons: Predictable. Taste like cheddar and sour cream chips. Having to eat mindfully and slowly to detect the actual bacon flavor. Fakin’ Bacon.

REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Limited Batch Cherry Garcia Greek Frozen Yogurt

Natalie 2 Comments

Ben & Jerry's Limited Batch Cherry Garcia Greek Frozen Yogurt

All right, someone at Ben & Jerry’s has got to be screwing with me.

I’m generally down to eat any ice cream. Sure, I’ve got preferences, but if it’s cold and fatty, it’s in my basket. The only thing I might love even more is stuff that’s bad for me that’s also pretending to be healthy. Kashi Granola bars? Sold. Kale chips? Lay ‘em on me. And when Ben & Jerry’s released their Frozen Greek Yogurt line a few years ago? I was all about it.

From there, it was all downhill. First, I stopped being able to find Blueberry Vanilla Graham, my overall favorite, in any of my grocery stores. Then, they had the audacity to insult my hero, Liz Lemon, with a flavor that included LAVENDER. Like, had they ever watched an episode of 30 Rock? Lemon would never consume lavender unless it was in potpourri that she thought was chips.

After years of escalating disappointment, they proceeded to irk me more with their blatant ingredient recycling in their recent core line. So what do they do next? They release a Frozen Greek Yogurt Cherry Garcia. In other words, THEY RELEASE A FROZEN GREEK YOGURT PRODUCT THAT ALREADY FUCKING EXISTS IN A BILLION FORMS?

Maybe I’m just bitter. Sorry. I don’t really have anything against Cherry Garcia, but was it really necessary to release a frozen Greek yogurt version of something I can buy as an ice cream? Or an ice cream bar? Or a NON-GREEK frozen yogurt? I think not, but I’ll try not to let my bitterness influence my review too much.

Ben & Jerry's Limited Batch Cherry Garcia Greek Frozen Yogurt Nutrition

I did feel it was necessary to compare the Greek Cherry Garcia to the regular fro-yo that’s been on shelves. Maybe then I could spot some noticeable differences between the products that would justify this release. I figured there would be some substantial caloric differences between the products, right? Nope. Okay, well then the Greek Cherry Garcia would have to have to be high protein so that would make sense… oh I’m sorry? The Greek product has less protein? I’m done trying.

Ben & Jerry's Limited Batch Cherry Garcia Greek Frozen Yogurt Comparison

In a taste comparison, although I hate to admit it, I did prefer the Greek Cherry Garcia version. A lot of this may have been pint bias, as my Greek pint was far more generous with the cherry and fudge chunks than the original fro-yo. While I would usually be guilty of picking out all the chocolate mix-ins and leaving the rest, I found myself really enjoying the cherry pieces and hunting for those instead. Mix-in wise, there is zero that differentiates this from any other Cherry Garcia you’ve had before.

Maybe I’m crazy, but I thought the slight tanginess of the Greek base melded really well with the natural tartness of the cherry flavor. This base also softened up faster to a creamier and lighter consistency with a more pleasant mouthfeel. Or I subconsciously fabricated that thought just so I could use the word “mouthfeel” and sound like a real reviewer.

Ben & Jerry's Limited Batch Cherry Garcia Greek Frozen Yogurt Top

Once again, my issue with Ben and Jerry’s comes down not to product quality, but product choice. This was a good dessert, but I can’t say that the slight difference in the Greek Cherry Garcia required an entirely new product. Could they not have reformulated the original fro-yo to the Greek version and given us a new fro-yo? Or done SOMETHING besides release a fourth iteration of a flavor?

In the words of product muse Jerry Garcia, “constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.” These unimaginative releases, albeit tasty, are still an evil. I beg you, Ben & Jerry’s, please start choosing good.

(Editor’s Note: In case you’re wondering why the regular frozen yogurt version has more than the Greek version, the Consumerist decided to find out after reading this review.)

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – 200 calories, 6 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 23 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein.)

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Limited Batch Cherry Garcia Greek Frozen Yogurt
Purchased Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Tangy Greek Yogurt and tart cherries work well together. Still a good quality product. Hitting the mix-in jackpot in your pint. Fake health halos. Jerry Garcia quotes. Mouthfeels. Mouthfeels. Mouthfeels. Sorry, I just really like that word.
Cons: Less protein than non-Greek yogurt? This already exists in a billion other forms. Thinking that someone at B&Js gets sick sadistic pleasure out of breaking my ice cream loving heart with these endless rehashings. Choosing evil.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Donuts Cookie Dough Iced Coffee

Natalie 3 Comments

Dunkin’ Donuts Cookie Dough Iced Coffee

I remember when Cookie Monster was able to do whatever the hell he wanted. Cookies were a breakfast, cookies were a condiment, and if he wanted to sit in the greenroom scarfing down cookies like Joey Chestnut does hot dogs on the 4th of July, nobody was gonna kill his vibe. C was for cookie, and that was good enough for him.

Then after 40 years of letting him live like a free man, PBS had to get parental and alter his diet to reflect more moderate and healthy lifestyle choices. Through clenched teeth, the Cookie Monster was forced to declare that cookies were really just a “sometimes” food and that eggplant was cool too.

Now that The Man has killed his one pride and joy, I’m guessing you can find Cookie Monster spending every off the clock hour in a Dunkin’ Donuts, inhaling these Cookie Dough Iced Coffees to try to get back the feeling of his lost love.

These probably do not taste enough like cookie dough to completely fill the void, but they do taste close enough to temporarily soothe the heartbreak.

I was excited to try this new Baskin-Robbins inspired Dunkin’ Donuts product, not just because the two names fit easily into my accent that makes me drop the g’s at the end of my -ing verbs. I also was desperate to know what their interpretation of the cookie dough flavor would be. Earlier this year, the world brought us Cookie Dough Oreo cookies, and the overwhelming Internet consensus seemed to be that they tasted like coffee. So I was perplexed. Would this Cookie Dough Iced Coffee also taste like coffee? Would it taste like an Oreo?

No, but the people over at Dunkin’ have a better handle on the cookie dough flavor than the folks at Nabisco (although I would not have been disappointed had this tasted like an Oreo.) I can’t say that I would’ve immediately recognized this as cookie dough in a blind taste test. However, in my opinion the cookie dough experience is like 75 percent texture, so I don’t think I’d recognize anything as immediately having the flavor. When told that this is a Cookie Dough Iced Coffee, I have no trouble believing them.

Dunkin’ Donuts Cookie Dough Iced Coffee Top

The drink has a strong vanilla flavor, with a little bit of a chocolate aftertaste. It is very sweet, but I find that this is much more tolerable in cold coffee drinks than hot ones. You could probably ask for less syrup if you were inclined. I did not, since I also ordered it with skim milk, and already felt high maintenance enough for my local Dunkin’ Donuts that is tucked inside of a gas station.

Sadly, I do not live near a Baskin-Robbins, so I could not try the corresponding Cookie Dough Ice Cream and compare the two. I think you could probably do something great with the two together though. At one of my first jobs I learned that ice cream makes for an incredible coffee creamer, so I imagine that the combination of the coffee and the ice cream it was inspired by would be unreal. Your blood sugar would probably describe the spike it would get in the same way.

All in all, this is good, and I will probably order it again. It is not ice cream or actual cookie dough, but it is relatively close and is disguised as something acceptable to be having at 9 a.m. Stay strong, Cookie Monster, and keep drinking the iced coffees. They’ll never know the truth.

(Nutrition Facts – 16 oz with cream – 170 calories, 6 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 135 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 24 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.)

Item: Dunkin’ Donuts Cookie Dough Iced Coffee
Purchased Price: $2.17
Size: 16 fl oz.
Purchased at: Dunkin’ Donuts
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Actually tastes reminiscent of cookie dough. Baskin-Robbins Dunkin’ Donuts is fun to say five times fast. Cold and sweet and refreshing. You can feel like you’re having cookie dough ice cream while everyone else thinks you’re a responsible adult. The Cookie Monster that didn’t answer to anyone. Caffeine boosts.
Cons: Potentially obnoxious coffee shop orders. Lack of Oreo flavored iced coffee. The plight of The Cookie Monster. Blood sugar spikes. 

REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Salted Caramel Core Ice Cream

Natalie 7 Comments

Ben & Jerry's Salted Caramel Core Ice Cream

I had the most emotional experience a few years ago when my parents took me up to the northeast to drop me off at college. It was heart wrenching. Painful. Soul crushing. Never have so many tears been shed.

We took a tour of the Ben and Jerry’s Flavor Graveyard.

Here, I witnessed all the good things in life I would never be able to know. Dozens of incredible ice creams who all died too young. Rainforest Crunch? Goodbye Yellow Brickle Road? Why did we turn our backs on remarkable ingredients like cashew-brazil nut buttercrunch and peanut butter cookie dough? So Pistachio Pistachio could keep its spot in the freezers? I couldn’t handle it. The world wasn’t the same without these. The inimitable lost ice creams needed to be revived.

The new line of “core” flavors is actually a resurrection of sorts. The concept first appeared back in 2002, and Karamel Sutra has been on shelves since. However, I can’t say this was the resurrection I was hoping for. For the most part, all of the new flavors are just recycling components already found in other pints. There’s very little ingredient innovation going on here. These pints are basically the same as when Taco Bell announces some new rehashing of tortilla, ground beef, and cheese.

Ben & Jerry's Salted Caramel Core Ice Cream Lid

That being said, there’s nothing that prevents a rehashing from tasting good. Their Salted Caramel Core flavor, a sweet cream ice cream base with blonde brownies and a salted caramel core, seemed to me to be one of the best combinations they could make with their current arsenal. That is, unless they develop an ice cream with a cookie dough core. Flavor gurus, take note.

I was most excited about writing this review for the sole purpose of doing this:

Ben & Jerry's Salted Caramel Core Ice Cream Core Middle

This cross-section is a work of art. I believe in the industry this is what they refer to as “core-core porn.” Regardless of the practicality of the core, I will admit that this is beautiful. So if you’re the kind of person who regularly likes to take out your aggression on a pint with a 10 inch blade, this might be the flavor for you.

The biggest issue at hand here is core mixing: how to get that center pocket distributed into every bite. I feared that I would run into the same issue that I do with cupcakes, where you get a few really great bites of heavy frosting and then are left with a lot of dry mediocre cake.

Ben & Jerry's Salted Caramel Core Ice Cream SPOON

By the time I started eating, the ice cream and caramel were soft enough that I could mix them together on my spoon fairly easily and avoided that problem. However, I’m usually an impatient ice cream consumer who ends up chiseling at a frozen pint, and I can’t see this set up working for me on a normal basis. I also don’t see how this would work well in their fudge core flavors, because while cold caramel still has a certain malleability, cold fudge seems impossible to distribute.

Ben & Jerry's Salted Caramel Core Ice Cream Core Again

The best thing this pint has going for it is that it’s safe from the chunk diggers in your household. The blondie pieces are prevalent, but much smaller than those in Rockin’ Blondies, so they’re impossible to extract on their own. And while it’s technically possible to hollow out the pint and eat nothing but caramel, I can’t see that being a pleasant experience unless you like to lick salt rocks to pass the time. I thought the salted caramel paired well with the sweet cream base, but it’s not a component that can stand alone.

All in all, is this ice cream good? Yes, very. Does it deserve the hype it’s been getting? Probably not. The core does nothing that a great swirl couldn’t, and there’s nothing special about a salted caramel flavor anymore. If Ben and Jerry’s wants to rehash old components, at least bring back the stuff you can’t get from anyone else. Give me cashew-brazil nut buttercrunch, then we’ll talk.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – 270 calories, 130 calories from fat, 14 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 75 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 28 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein.)

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Salted Caramel Core Ice Cream
Purchased Price: $4.99
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Co-op Food Stores
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Good flavor combination. Gooey caramel. Lots of mix-ins. Chunk digger prevention. Playing with knives.
Cons: Rehashing old ingredients. The horrors of the Flavor Graveyard. Trans fat. Dry cupcakes. Being too impatient to let ice cream soften. Making you work for caramel distribution. Oatmeal Cookie Chunk didn’t deserve to die for this.

REVIEW: Birthday Cake M&M’s

Natalie 11 Comments

Birthday Cake M&M's

I would like to put forth an official motion to reach a consensus on what “birthday cake” flavor is supposed to be.

Because from my understanding, birthday cake is akin to cake batter which is akin to a sweet vanilla/butter flavor with lots of rainbow sprinkles. A quick Pinterest search will demonstrate what I mean. Birthdays are a cause for celebration, and the default mindset for that is as much sugar and as much color as possible.

The Birthday Cake M&Ms are not what you’d expect based on the prior cake-flavored evidence, but rather a play on the original Milk Chocolate variety. This is probably fair to the millions of people who prefer the chocolate cake with white frosting on their birthdays and have been forced to eat too many Funfetti-like products. In fact, I would never choose that for my own cake either. By throwing these into the mix, M&M’s may just be trying to prevent a burgeoning birthday market monopolization. So for those who have been scorned by the rainbow sprinkles in the past, these go out to you.

I finally found these at my CVS when I did my annual Valentine’s Day Sale spree. There was a singular box, wrongfully placed in the clearance section. Although these are also sold in an 8-ounce bag, the only size option was the individual pack, which is unfortunate, because I enjoy sharing my candy and/or eating mass quantities of M&M’s without being aware of how much I’m actually consuming. Usually the latter.

Birthday Cake M&M's Wrapper

These are closer in size to Milk Chocolate M&M’s than the recent new M&M’s have been and stick to a simple color palate of blue, red and yellow. I didn’t have any to compare, but I think they’re the same colors you’d find on other M&M’s, possibly a little bit richer. Also important to note they are made with actual Milk Chocolate. Not chocolate-y candy. Not chocolate-confection. Not Count Chocula Crème (this is not a real marketing tactic, but I think it will be soon.) You can rest assured in eating these that your processed food still has some realness to it.

My recent history with M&M’s has not been great. I was disappointed by Pumpkin Spice, puzzled by Gingerbread, and grossed out by Red Velvet. All of these varieties had such potential, but in the end they all ended up tasting like “chemical.” I was assuming this was what I would have to settle for with my bite sized chocolates.

But these are a beacon of hope. A delicacy. A rede-M&M-ption, if you will. I bit into these and immediately started singing “Happy Birthday” to me. Then the Beatles’ “Birthday.” Then Rihanna’s “Birthday Cake.” Then I stopped, because I forgot how incredibly uncomfortable that song makes me.

Birthday Cake M&M's Closeup

The flavor in these is subtle, but it accomplishes the intended goal perfectly. There’s a strong milk chocolate note that then evolves into a buttercream taste that’s not too sweet or overpowering. Perfect match to the cake pictured on the pack. Chemical taste level: zero.

I may not choose these over my beloved Carrot Cake or Peanut Butter M&M’s, but they would certainly be ranked above the original in my book. I will be creating a stockpile of these as well, even if they’re not limited edition. Not only are they delicious, but they also make a fantastic non-perishable last minute gift for birthdays you completely forgot about and were only reminded of when you logged onto Facebook.

Now, you can pretend every day is your birthday without having to lie to waiters at restaurants to get a free dessert. Although, you’re still free to do that do. It’s your fake birthday. You deserve to feel as special as you want.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pack (1.4oz) – 190 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 30 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 25 grams of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Birthday Cake M&M’s
Purchased Price: $1.19
Size: 1.4 oz. bag
Purchased at: CVS
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Not chemically, actually tasty. Appeals to the forgotten birthday cake demographic. Actually tastes like the cake on package. Pretending to remember birthdays. Real milk chocolate. Getting free dessert at restaurants.
Cons: Inconsistencies in the definition of birthday cake. Unsettling Rihanna euphemisms. That uncomfortable public domain birthday song you have to sit through in restaurants to get your free fake-birthday sundae.