Author: Vin

REVIEW: Sour Patch Kids Fire

Vin 4 Comments

Sour Patch Kids Fire

First, they’re sour, then they’re sweet, now they’re hot?

I guess that “sweet and spicy” candy trend continues to roll along. In fact, it’s already evolved on the premise by adding sour to the equation. What’s next, umami?! Am I gonna have to pretend to understand what umami is?!

Ya know what, don’t let me get off track. I’m not here to talk about “mamis,” I’m here to talk about kids – kids of the sour patch variety!

I’m also here to make awkward transitions.

I have a hard time believing there are people who don’t like Sour Patch Kids. I’m sure there are, I just won’t entertain the notion. A giant bag of SPK’s and a buttery $16 movie popcorn is in the running for my desert island meal, and the one thing you need on a desert island is fire.

SPK Fire chews smell like normal SPKs, but feature a duller color profile than normal.

I’m gonna “rapid fire” review each flavor:

Sour Patch Kids Fire 3

Berry Blaze – Pretty sour to start with an unripe berry flavor – blue, straw, black is my guess. There’s a very brief window of sweetness followed by decent little burn on the end.

Tropical Flame – Pineapple with a splash of citrus. It transitions from super sour to brief sweet, right into “oh yeah, I think I can kinda feel the heat.”

Apple Fever – You’re gonna pucker on this one. Think of the sourest Granny Smith you’ve ever eaten. The burn was almost completely masked because of that.

Angry Watermelon – Sweetest flavor in the bag. It’s hard to hype these too much because Sour Patch Watermelons might be my favorite candy of all time. Imagine those except 25 percent less sweet, and with a little numbing taste at the end. These pale in comparison, but they’re still good.

My Rankings:

Sourness:

  1. Apple
  2. Tropical
  3. Berry
  4. Watermelon

Heat:

  1. Berry
  2. Tropical
  3. Watermelon
  4. Apple

Overall:

  1. Watermelon
  2. Tropical
  3. Berry
  4. Apple

My heat impressions might be skewed by the order I ate them. I only had three of each flavor, so while Apple had no heat, I imagine it would’ve if I started with it. That make sense? Either way, the heat is dull.

I’m not sure the sour and hot combination works. That flavor progression – with the tiny pitstop in sweet-ville – almost acts as a numbing agent. Sour overwhelms your mouth, so heat doesn’t have room to shine.

Sour Patch Kids Fire 2

These tasted sourer than normal SPK’s which seems dumb if “Fire” was supposed to be the star. You could probably convince yourself the taste at the end is just a remnant of the extreme sour start, as it almost immediately starts to suck your mouth dry of saliva anyway.

So, if you’re looking to tip the Scoville Scale, you may be disappointed. These are really good Sour Patch Kids, but they won’t have you running for the milk. They’re definitely worth a try, but I have a hard time believing they’ll be mainstays on candy racks, so get ’em while they’re hot.

(Nutrition Facts – 12 pieces – 110 calories, 0 grams of fat, 25 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 23 grams of sugar + 23 grams of ADDED sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: 7.2 oz. bag
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tasty overall. If you love sour candy, they deliver. Still kinda cool to taste a tiny lingering heat afterwards. I appreciate the attempt.
Cons: Dull Heat. Less sweetness than normal Sour Patch Kids. Not even as hot as “Sweet Heat Skittles and Starburst.” Dry mouth. Just made me crave Sour Patch Watermelons.

REVIEW: Peanut Butter Chocolate Blasted Shreds Cereal

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Peanut Butter Chocolate Blasted Shreds Cereal

When I hear the word “shred” I think of a sick guitar solo, or some gnarly snowboarder carving up a mountain. Ya know, epic things like that.

One thing I don’t think of is Shredded Wheat. There’s NOTHING epic about Shredded Wheat.

Until now.

Folks, General Mills made Shredded Wheat epic!

Peanut Butter Chocolate Blasted Shreds Cereal 3

First thing I noticed when I picked up a box of new Peanut Butter Chocolate Blasted Shreds, besides the long name, was how heavy the box was. At 1 pound, 7.2 ounces, this might be the heftiest cereal I’ve ever bought.

After doing a set of thirty hammer curls, I cracked it open and was met with a smell reminiscent of peanut butter cookies. Epic, indeed.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Blasted Shreds Cereal 4

I popped a few of the cereal pieces dry, which I don’t normally do, and instantly came down from my high. The flavors were solid, and I could imagine these being a decent Chex substitute in a snack mix, but it just reminded me how boring Shredded Wheat is.

Thankfully cereal is nothing without milk. Once that milk hit, guitar solos rang out, and “shred” started to mean something new in my mind. To quote the back of the box – Whoa!

Peanut Butter Chocolate Blasted Shreds Cereal 2

This ain’t your daddy’s Shredded Wheat.

Each cereal piece has a powdery Reese’s Puffs-like flavor coating that was magically activated by the milk. The dry blocks of straw now had a slick flavorful sheen and a slightly softer texture that married together perfectly.

The peanut butter was more prevalent than the chocolate, but that was exactly what I wanted. I can’t stress enough how much better the flavor was with milk, especially the peanut butter.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Blasted Shreds Cereal 5

The flavor held as the cereal sogged but still managed to hold an outer crisp that was less harsh than I expected. A cereal like Frosted Mini Wheats “shred” my mouth, these went down smooth. I’d say they hit their peak after about a minute in the milk. They were still crispity, still crunchity, still peanut…I better stop before I get sued.

The silky cereal milk was also elite. It put me in mind of another product I reviewed and loved –- International Delights Reese’s Coffee Creamer.

I gotta also give it credit for feeling like a hearty meal, unlike other cereals. That clearly has to do with its weight and the fact the calorie count on these puppies dwarf your standard fare. You’re not gonna get “shredded” if you eat these daily, but you will get a nice dose of whole grain.

So, as you can tell, I kinda loved this cereal. I picked up a box of Nutter Butter cereal as well, and while those were excellent, Shreds still edged ‘em out. These are also better than the Jif Cereal and Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheerios, in my opinion.

I’m not ready to boost them over Cap’n Crunch or Reese’s just yet, but those are 10’s to me, and also have a lifetime of nostalgia on their side.

(Nutrition Facts – 2/3 cup – 230 calories, 50 calories from fat, 5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 45 milligrams of sodium, 210 milligrams of potassium, 41 grams of carbohydrates, 7 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 6 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.98
Size: 23.1 oz. box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Delicious when activated with milk. Some of the best peanut butter flavor I’ve had in a cereal. Substantial breakfast. Good source of whole grain and fiber. Creamy flavorful cereal milk. Rejuvenating the Shredded Wheat brand.
Cons: Nothing special when eaten dry. Some may crave more chocolate flavor. Calorie count is pretty high. Not good for the low-carb in 2018 resolution crowd. Butterfinger took their potential slogan. Pretty lame back of box.

REVIEW: Starbucks Christmas Tree Frappuccino

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Starbucks Christmas Tree Frappuccino

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

Baristas are selling me Fraps while misspelling my name at cashiers!

I must mumble, because per usual, my Starbucks cup said “Ben.” That’s ok though because nothing could break my holiday spirit, for today I was trying the new Christmas Tree Frappuccino that looks exactly like a Christmas tree!

Well, kinda like a Christmas tree, I guess?

Look, I know how advertising works. I wasn’t expecting my drink to look like Rockefeller Center, but then again, I also wasn’t expecting Charlie Brown.

The whipped cream looks more lime than pine, and when you think about it, the entire premise is flawed. In theory, the whipped cream portion represents the iconic image of a Christmas tree, so said tree would be like five feet of trunk, and one foot of branches! More like, “Bark, the herald angels sing.” Right?

Guys?

Fine. ‘Tis not the season for petty whining, so I’ll just let it go, let it go, let it go. (Sung to the tune of “Let it Snow,” not that Frozen song, although I guess that works too. You decide!)

Starbucks Christmas Tree Frappuccino 2

The whipped cream gets its green color due to a matcha infusion, which I’ll be honest, I barely noticed. The topping was drizzled with caramel as well as candied cranberry “ornaments,” so I tasted those more than the actual cream. I mainly order Caramel Fraps, so the whipped cream tasted like it usually does on those.

Starbucks Christmas Tree Frappuccino 3

Phantom matcha aside, the caramel was delicious as always. The cranberry pieces added a nice little crunch element. There’s a freeze-dried strawberry tree topper that did its job because it was the “star” of the show. I enjoyed it.

I made sure to leave plenty of toppings so they could mix in with the Mocha Peppermint Frap.

I finally took a big gulp and O Tannenbaum was it good! That chocolate mint goodness had me singing Ave Barista.

If I had to equate the flavor to something familiar, it tasted like a liquid Andes mint. It wasn’t quite mint chocolate chip ice cream like you’d expect. There’s not much flavor discrepancy when combining chocolate and mint, but I still say this leans more towards an Andes.

I mixed the toppings in, and they got a little swallowed up. Subtle caramel fought through the mint a couple times, and the cranberry bits provided a fun crunch, but the flavors kinda disappeared into the dark abyss.

I also think there may have been too much ice because it tasted watered down about halfway in. The mocha and peppermint dulled and never lived up to the first couple sips.

In the end, it may not have been exactly what I wanted, but I still appreciated it. I’d like to call “bah humbug” on the $5 price, but I’ll leave you on a positive note. Merry Christmas.

(Nutrition Facts – 420 calories, 21 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 53 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of fiber, 50 grams of sugar, 6 grams of protein, and 15 milligrams of caffeine.)

Purchased Price: $5.08
Size: Tall
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Mocha and Peppermint are a winning duo. Freeze dried strawberry was kinda brilliant. Caramel drizzle never fails. Fun overall concept. Candied Cranberry ornaments were a great addition.
Cons: As far as looks go, it’s the thought that counts. Pretty expensive. Didn’t pick up the matcha. Flavors got watered down. Ave Maria isn’t a Christmas song. I did not intend for the Frozen song to get stuck in your head. “Ben.”

REVIEW: Limited Edition Banana Nut Cheerios

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Limited Edition Banana Nut Cheerios

Every time I see a new banana-flavored product on shelves, my inner Primate comes out. I have to fight the urge to beat my chest like an excited gorilla right there in the aisle.

There’s something about that flavor that always resonates with me. Cakes, breads, candies, ice cream, yogurts, it doesn’t matter – if you make it banana, you’ve got my money.

Sadly, I haven’t tasted many cereals flavored with the fruit. There’s never been a huge market for them, and when they do come out, they always seem to get discontinued. I can recall a few Honey Bunches of Oats types and a Minion one, but beyond that my experience with them are lacking.

Good thing Limited Edition Banana Nut Cheerios has come to my rescue.

Limited Edition Banana Nut Cheerios 3

I wish I could tell you I got a waft of fresh banana bread when I tore the bag open, but in reality, the smell was kinda indistinguishable. I don’t know, I expected more, but to me it wasn’t distinctly banana.

Since these are “banana nut” flavored, I figured I’d try them with almond milk as well as whole milk. I also had Egg Nog, but couldn’t pull the trigger on using that as milk, despite the pleas from the voices inside my head.

I considered mixing in slices of the yellow fruit, but I’m of the controversial opinion that putting slimy fruit pieces in cereal doesn’t enhance it all that much.

Limited Edition Banana Nut Cheerios 2

With the first bite, I got hit with cinnamon, but that instantly blended into the banana flavor. Don’t expect anything overly sweet, because this uses real fruit puree, not artificial flavor. (More on that later.)

On the next few bites, I realized this variety may as well have been any Cheerios flavor. It all mushed into generic Cheerios. While there were hints of a great cereal there, it was short lived.

Now I was ready to call Banana Nut Cheerios a big disappointment when it hit me with the hidden ace up its sleeve – delicious cereal milk.

Limited Edition Banana Nut Cheerios 4

Let me backtrack. The “whole” milk cereal was delicious. Unflavored almond milk is worthless, especially with cereal. The “nuttiness” did nothing to enhance the flavor. Not only that, it’s more watery than skim, and made for a mundane bowl.

Whole milk, however, soaked into the little O’s and made it come to life. You’d be hard pressed to find many cereals that improve as they sog, but this one bucked the trend. The flavor improved as they settled and the runoff culminated in banana bread-flavored creaminess.

Still, I left a tad underwhelmed. I must just prefer a sugary artificial flavor to natural. I guess that’s the kid in me. I’d be all in on Banana Toast Crunch.

Banana Nut Cheerios are worth a try, but they weren’t better than reliable Honey Nut variety. If you can only afford one box, I’d recommend the Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheerios over these as well.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup – 110 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 120 milligrams of sodium, 80 milligrams of potassium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.50
Size: 12 oz. box
Purchased at: Stop & Shop
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Creamy delicious cereal milk. Decent banana flavor. Nice cinnamon kick. Oatey nuttiness peaks through. The prospects of Banana Toast Crunch.
Cons: Lacked strong banana aroma. Tasted best after the sog. Middle of the road Cheerios flavor. Limited Edition like all banana cereals. There’s no Banana Toast Crunch.

REVIEW: Lemon Nilla Wafers

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Lemon Nilla Wafers

Nilla Wafers are boring. I’d actually say they’re a historically boring cookie.

Here’s the thing, I don’t mind a boring cookie. Sometimes ya just want a boring cookie.

I always have a “boring” snack hidden in the back of my pantry. Whether it’s Ritz or Saltine crackers, a bag of Goldfish, or some good ol’ Nilla Wafers, I have a weird affinity for what I refer to as “desperation snacks.”

You’re probably wondering what the heck I’m even talking about. These are snacks I buy intentionally for when I run out of all the primo stuff and I’m too lazy to get more.

That’s where Nilla Wafers come into play. They’re never my top choice, but when everything else is gone, a few of those can curb a sugar craving. I’m never gonna eat a whole box in one sitting. But then again, with a new lemon flavor on shelves, maybe that’ll change?

Nah, that won’t change.

Lemon Nilla Wafers 2

When I popped open the foil bag of Lemon Nilla Wafers, there wasn’t much of a departure from what I remember. I’d say there’s a minuscule lemon Pez scent. The smell did resonate with me though.

I never realized how much Nilla Wafers smelled like those little boxes of Barnum’s Animal Crackers. It makes sense since they’re both Nabisco staples, I just never noticed. It really brought back fond childhood memories.

Lemon Nilla Wafers 3

Nilla Wafers always have a texture that makes them seem borderline stale even when they’re fresh. These were no different. I’ve always preferred to let them melt in my mouth.

They didn’t taste far off from the originals. There’s a hint of lemon flavor at best. As a fan of lemon desserts, I was disappointed, but in terms of Nilla Wafers I actually think I prefer these. I could definitely see myself eating more of them at once, but they’d still fall into my desperation snack category.

Just for fun, I used Mystery Oreo creme to make Lemon Nilla Wafer Sandwiches.

Lemon Nilla Wafers 4

Turns out, the Lemon Nilla Wafer worked better with the (my dark horse guess) Fruity Pebbles Treat-flavored creme than the chocolate Oreo cookie did. Take note, Nabisco.

All in all, I’d say Lemon Nilla Wafers make a strong case for “back of the pantry desperation” snack. That’s if I don’t use them all to make more sandwich cookies first.

(Nutrition Facts – 8 wafers – 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 115 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: $4.29
Size: 11 oz. box
Purchased at: Stop & Shop
Rating: 6 out of 10 (8 out of 10 with Mystery Oreo creme)
Pros: One of the all time great “desperation snacks.” Melt in your mouth. Better than the originals. Excellent Mystery Oreo cookie substitute. Animal Cracker nostalgia.
Cons: Lemon is faint at best. Better supporting player than standalone cookie. No actual lemon in the ingredients. A little pricey.