Vin, Author at The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: Limited Edition Girl Scouts Thin Mints Cereal

January 30, 2017August 28, 2023 Vin 1 Comment

One hundred years.

The Girl Scouts of America have been selling cookies since 1917. That’s how long in the making this was.

Now that Girl Scout Cookie season is upon us, our favorite pint-sized peddlers have teamed up with General Mills to stock shelves with a breakfast cereal representative of their famous baked goods. It’s about time.

The famous flavors of Girl Scout Cookies have managed to find their way into everything from ice cream to chocolate bars over the years, and starting now, you can officially have Thin Mints and Samoas in a bowl for breakfast without feeling awful about yourself.

I picked up a box of Thin Mints at Target, opting to pass on the Caramel Crunch (Samoas) variety, because the idea of having a mint flavored cereal intrigued me much more.

They certainly smell the part, which took a second to adjust to. I don’t think I’d ever even heard of a breakfast cereal with mint in it until that moment. I can’t think of one off the top of my head. Either way, the cereal smells just like the cookie.

As far as aesthetics, they aren’t the best looking cereal. My brother’s dog eats food pellets that look exactly like these little dark discs, so that image was tough to shake at first. For a more palatable example, If Cookie Crisp ever borrowed a marketing ploy from the Cap’n, these would be “Oops, All Chocolate Chips Cookie Crisp.”

The cereal pieces have an outer crispy area encapsulating a center that tasted like it was on a fast track to sogsville the second I poured the milk in. Each bite had a typical crunch but soon turned gluey, and clung to my teeth more than I expected.

All in all, they taste like less chocolately Cocoa Puffs with a cool little mint kick on the finish. The mint flavor fades as the cereal pieces start to scratch your mouth up, but there was still a constant cooling reminder that you’re eating a mint cereal. That being said, these aren’t exactly Altoids. Don’t forget to brush your teeth after breakfast, ya sickos.

I tried these as a dry snack, too. I had a couple handfuls out of the box, and the chocolate was more pronounced. The pieces are coated in a powdery layer of flavor that must have faded immediately when the milk was poured on. The mint also powers through more on the dry pieces. I guess it was intentional that the extra powder layer was included to improve the milk at the end of the bowl.

I’ve gone on record about my feelings of cereal milk. I don’t even want it half of the time. Part of me finds it mildly disgusting – a tepid, gross colored pool of cereal backwash – but the other part of me feels guilty pouring half a cup of milk down the drain.

But Thin Mints has some pretty damn good cereal milk. You can’t really go wrong with minty chocolate milk, can ya?

So, this is a decent first effort by General Mills. I still plan to try the Samoas cereal, but expect them to be a less impressive transition to a cereal box. As a lover of Reese’s Puffs, I really hope they tackle Tagalongs next.

These cereals are a limited edition, so act quick. I’m not positive if proceeds benefit the Girl Scouts, but I imagine they do. Either way, I always take some solace knowing I’m contributing to a good cause when I house an entire box of Girl Scout Cookies.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 Cup – 120 calories, 3 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 12 grams of other carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 9 grams of sugars, and 1 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 11 oz. box
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: They smell like the real thing. Basically a Cocoa Puffs/Cookie Crisp hybrid. Mint in a cereal. Tasty cereal milk. Hopefully a good sign of what’s to come. 100 years of Girl Scout Cookies.
Cons: Sogged up quickly. Mint fades as you go. What the heck are “other carbohydrates?” Little burger looking cereal pieces. No fun games on the back of the box, just some kind of environmental message.

REVIEW: Milka Oreo Chocolate Candy Bar

January 19, 2017August 25, 2023 Vin

Oreo has become the Lego of food.

Years ago Lego was just Lego, but at some point they decided to dip their blocks in everyone else’s product pool. You can get a Lego set of any entertainment brand you want these days. I just Amazon one-clicked a Lego set of The Max from Saved by the Bell.

I’m a liar of course, but maybe The Impulsive Buy’s clout can get that set made. Let’s make this happen, people!

Anyway, Oreo seems to be following Lego’s model on the culinary scene. A new Oreo flavor seems to drop every month and they’re collaborating with other food brands. Oreo has become the Lego of food! Of course to the dimwitted adventurous child, Lego is the Lego of food.

The most recent Oreo collaboration I stumbled upon was the Milka Oreo Chocolate Candy Bar.

I wasn’t too familiar with Milka chocolate before they decided to bunk up with Nabisco. I’d seen it many times, but never actually bought it, and ya know what? I’m dumb. It’s pretty great.

The label boasts that Milka is Swiss-made with Alpine Milk, which lends to its overall creaminess. Is that the secret? Alpine Milk? Can I buy Alpine Milk in pints, because I think I love it?

Let’s be real here for a second, European chocolate destroys our American brand chocolate. Sure I like Hershey’s or Russell Stover, but Euro chocolate is just more decadent. It’s creamier. It just flat out tastes better, and Milka certainly holds up to that billing in my opinion.

The chocolate here is everything I just said it was. It had a perfect texture, a sweet flavor that wasn’t overbearing, and it melted in my mouth.

I really enjoyed the Oreo cookie crunch as well. It’s not as prominent as say a Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme bar, but that’s a good thing. This candy bar has the perfect amount of crunch. Each square gives you two or three small crunches.

I wouldn’t necessarily say that I KNEW the cream was Oreo. Well, I knew because the label told me. But without it, I would think this was Milka’s take on a cookies and cream bar. That being said, I still think it’s awesome to look at. Seeing a layer of Oreo cream dotted with bits of cookies inside of a candy bar is a marvel to behold. A marvel I say!

Real quick – Is it Oreo cream or Oreo crème? I can’t keep up with products that have “crème” vs. those with “cream.” Is there a difference? “Crème” is just a fancy way of spelling “cream,” right? This being a European, and thus fancy candy bar, I feel like I should say “crème,” but I never know. The battle of “cream” versus “crème” rages on. Hell, one snack cake I picked up even claimed it was filled with “Kareem!” I put that one back on the shelf.

So as far as this collaboration goes, Milka is the deserved star. Oreo plays the supporting role nicely though despite the cream being a bit indeterminable.

Great balance. Great freshness. Great texture. For $1.50, you can’t go wrong. Milka has a new fan. This might be my new favorite “cookies and cream” candy bar.

Hopefully the Milka Oreo Chocolate Candy Bar becomes a gateway snack, and they start making chocolate bars with the other various crazy Oreo cream/crème flavors.

But hold the Swedish Fish.

(Nutrition Facts – 6 pieces – 220 calories, 120 calories from fat, 14 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of dietary fiber, 20 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $1.50
Size: 3.52 oz. bar
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Delicious, creamy chocolate. Just the right amount of crunch. Great balance between ingredients. A brand marriage made in Heaven. Alpine Milk!
Cons: Not necessarily Oreo Cream flavor. Never knowing whether to write “Crème” or “Cream.” Kids who eat Legos. The inevitable Oreo Movie.

REVIEW: Hostess Deep Fried Banana Twinkies

December 15, 2016January 7, 2021 Vin 2 Comments

Before I start, I have one simple request.

Every time you see the words “Deep Fried Banana Twinkies” in this review, read it in a sensual Barry White-esque voice. Pump some smooth bedroom music through your speaker to set the mood. If by the end you don’t want a box of Deep Fried Banana Twinkies, you might not be human.

What? Oh come on, don’t make it weird. You’re making it weird.

You made it weird. Forget it. Read the words normally. It’s a free country.

Despite having one of just about everything under the sun fried, this was my first *flicks on romantic tune* Deep. Fried. Ba-na-na. Twinkie. Awww, yeahhhh. Okay, I’ll stop.

I cooked said Twinkie in the oven (which is recommended) but you can also use a toaster oven, or deep fry them again. I’m not going to judge.

Out of the box the Twinkies look like potato croquettes. Maybe even a fat chicken tender. That sight messed with my mind a bit. I started to think I was all set to have a savory snack.

After a couple minutes, I made a cooking faux pas and opened the stove to get a whiff. I’d say there was almost a churro-like aroma. Nice.

I took it out at the seven minute mark, which ended up being perfect. The cake was just hot enough to differ from a normal Twinkie, and the cream wasn’t like molten lava.

Deep Fried Banana Twinkies are breaded in a graham cracker coating, and maybe it was my mind playing games with me, but that portion almost tasted savory in the end. There was a serious lack of sweetness before the banana cream hit.

The familiar sponge cake is still underneath, and the overall texture was okay, if not a little doughy. I now understand why I’ve seen fried Twinkies smothered in syrup or powdered sugar at county fairs. It needed another sweet element.

I wondered if the warmth might ruin the taste of the banana cream, but it was just like a normal Banana Twinkie. Still, there wasn’t enough to overpower the graham and sponge cake’s lack of sweetness. Next time I eat one, I’ll probably drop a dollop of chocolate syrup on top.

Look, it sounds like I’m complaining, but the graham cracker did give the Twinkie a nice outer crisp. It just wasn’t particularly flavorful. It also had an odd aftertaste, but I actually think the fried sponge cake was the culprit there.

Regular Deep Fried Twinkies have a funnel cake coating, and now I’m kinda bummed I didn’t get those. That just sounds better.

In the end, the outer fried portion wasn’t sweet enough, and probably too doughy, but once the cream hit, Deep Fried Banana Twinkies are still pretty good. They’re definitely worth a try.

I will say that the price is ridiculous, and as an Impatient American (I’m the Union President) I don’t love the idea of waiting for an oven to preheat, 6-8 minutes to cook, and two minute to cool off before eating a snack cake. Yeah, I enjoy a homemade cookie or brownie, but that’s a different mindset. You want a Twinkie? Open a box and eat a Twinkie. Who has time for this waiting nonsense?

If the graham coating was tastier and the price was lower, these could become a snack I regularly keep in the freezer, but for now I probably won’t go back unless they put out some crazy flavor concoctions in the future. Awwww yeahhhh, baby.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cake – 230 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 420 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 15 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein..)

Purchased Price: $5.49
Size: 7 cakes/box
Purchased at: Shop Rite
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Banana Cream never fails. Nice outer crisp. Fried Fair Food Fare. Barry White voice. Potato Croquettes.
Cons: Graham cracker not flavorful enough. Expensive. Time consuming. “Dollop” is my least favorite word in the English language. Funnel Cake > Graham Cracker.

REVIEW: Vanilla Milkshake Whoppers

November 17, 2016August 25, 2023 Vin 4 Comments

Every year, post-Halloween, I see lists of peoples’ least favorite candies.

For some reason Whoppers always crack the list. I don’t get it. Even if you aren’t a huge fan of these “malted milk balls,” don’t you like a little variety? What’s wrong with a couple malt(ed milk) balls mixed in with the rest of your haul? (Don’t you dare simply refer to them as “Malt balls!”)

I’m actually surprised Whoppers are even still around. They feel like a candy of yesteryear. We as a culture just don’t seem to appreciate malt anymore. When was the last time anyone under the age of ancient ordered a malted milkshake?

Speaking of, the fine folks at Hershey seem to think people still have a hankering for them with their release of Vanilla Milkshake Whoppers. I’ve always been a fan of the originals, and dug the Strawberry Milkshake Whoppers a good deal, so I snatched two of these cartons as soon as I saw them.

Upon ripping open said carton I was met with a vanilla scent that got masked quickly by the smell of cardboard. Once I poured the contents into a glass, they regained their pleasant vanilla smell.

The waxy outer coating had a “white chocolatey” flavor. I know it’s vanilla but it tasted like white chocolate to me. Let’s be real, there’s not THAT big a difference between the two anyway. Whether you taste vanilla or white chocolate, the flavor really doesn’t last long enough to make a major impact. This is a common theme among malt(ed milk) balls in my opinion.

After talking them up, allow me to knock Whoppers down a peg.

I don’t really like to chew on Whoppers. I feel like I immediately lose the outer flavor once I bite into the malt center. Malt is an overpowering taste. I much prefer to suck on Whoppers instead of biting them. I absolutely hate that previous sentence and didn’t want to write it, but hey, that’s how I like my Whoppers.

That being said, if you allow about ten Whoppers to melt in your mouth, the gritty texture of the ball itself starts to do a number on your tongue. This has always been my knock on them. Either you chew them and get that rock hard sugar stuck in your molars, or you suck them and get Cap’n Crunch mouth.

Still, letting them melt was the best way to really enjoy that outer “vanilla” flavor. The thing about Whoppers is that no matter the coating, the strongest taste will always be the malt itself. Just to test my theory I had a few chocolate Whoppers left over from Halloween, and it checked out. Once I chomped down it was just a maltfest.

And while I prefer not to chew them, I absolutely LOVE those weird chewy runt Whoppers that inevitably sneak into each batch. You guys know what I’m talking about? There are always one or two pieces that are smaller than the rest. Sometimes half the ball is caved in on itself. To me they’re like the bonus onion ring in an order of fries. I had three of those that had the texture of a Tootsie Roll and they were the MVPs of the carton.

I may have actually liked Vanilla Milkshake more than the chocolate originals. The jury is still out. They’re certainly better than those Easter Whoppers Robin’s Eggs.

Hershey should team with Burger King on these somehow, because I subliminally wanted a Whopper and a vanilla shake by the time I was done.

(Nutrition Facts – 18 pieces – 200 calories, 70 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 7 grams of sat fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 27 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein..)

Purchased Price: $2.22
Size: 10 oz. carton
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Solid white chocolatey/vanilla flavor while it lasts. Super fresh malted milk ball centers. Milk carton packaging. Might be better than the original. The chewy runts of the Whopper litter.
Cons: Malt overpowers outer flavor. Scratches up tongue/roof of mouth if sucked on. Gets plastered in teeth if chewed. Gateway to wanting Burger King. Where have all the malts gone?

REVIEW: Snickers & Hazelnut Bar

November 2, 2016July 15, 2023 Vin 8 Comments

When you think of chocolate and hazelnut, I’m sure Nutella immediately comes to mind. If not that, then surely everyone’s favorite re-gifted Christmas candy, Ferrero Rocher. But if I asked you to name something beyond that, what would you even say?

I mean sure there are fancy chocolates everywhere that feature hazelnut, but you can’t just grab one off a convenience store candy rack. That’s why I think Mars is smart to offer their Snickers & Hazelnut bar, as it fills a hole in the market you probably didn’t even realize was open. Rocher aren’t exactly sold next to the Kit Kat and Starburst at your local 7-Eleven.

That reminds me, I think I still have a rack of re-gifted Ferrero Rocher from last year that I’ll probably three-gift™ this Christmas. Nothing says “we’re not really all that close” like a plastic crate of Ferrero Rocher.

I had a fun sized regular Snickers (or nine) lying around, so I decided to stack them against the Snickers & Hazelnut Bar.

The new bar has a different flavor profile. It’s not super different, you still know it’s a Snickers, but there are definitely some dissimilarities. In regular Snickers, the peanut is probably the flavor you taste least. It provides the crunch, but can you really pinpoint peanut flavor? The hazelnut shines most here. Even mixed with the usual peanuts, it overpowers each bite. I’d go as far to say that if they went with just hazelnuts and no peanuts, the flavor might have been over the top.

Hazelnuts are pretty distinct and I tasted them more than the chocolate and caramel, which I imagine could be undesirable to some, but I quite enjoyed it. It also marries perfectly with the nougat, which I felt was more pronounced. It could have just been the bars I had, but I also thought the texture was softer than a regular Snickers.

I refuse to say it’s better than the original version, but it’s certainly not far off. Snickers are perfection. They are right up there with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups as candies that will forever rule the world. You simply can’t improve Snickers, but Mars certainly found a way to toss an almost equally delicious alternative at you.

If you are a candy purist who loves the chocolate and caramel in Snickers, you may not like the hazelnut version as much, but I still think you’ll enjoy it immensely.

Seriously, Snickers are so good, they are the only candy bar that can get away with releases where they simply add bits of another type of nut. Snickers with almond were good. Snickers with mixed nuts were better. I’m anxiously awaiting the Snickers & Macadamia Bar. Snickers & Cashew would probably be great. What about Snickers & Pecan? Snickers & Filbert? I’m not sure I even know what a filbert is, but bring it on.

And in case you’re wondering, Snickers & Hazelnut tastes better than a crispy Ferrero Rocher. Give me a few of these for Christmas instead and I won’t have to feign my appreciation. You won’t have to shell out as much cash for the “decadence” of fancy gold foil.

So if you’re hungry, why wait? You probably shouldn’t wait.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bar – 240 calories, 100 calories from fat, 11 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 115 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 26 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein..)

Purchased Price: 78 cents
Size: 1.76 oz
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Hazelnut is the star of the show. Nougat tastes more pronounced. Slightly softer texture than regular Snickers. Snickers branching out with more nut varieties. Three-gifting™.
Cons: Chocolate and caramel flavors not quite as strong. The lack of “easy” chocolate and hazelnut candy bars. Lazy Ferrero Rocher gifters. Why aren’t Nutella candy bars in every store?