Vin, Author at The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: Hostess Suzy Q’s

October 26, 2015January 4, 2021 Vin 267 Comments

If you’re looking the 2018 version. We reviewed it! Click here to read our review.

To quote the great John Fogerty, “Oh Suzy Q, I love you.”

I’m not here to talk about a Creedence Clearwater Revival. I’m here to talk about a famous snack cake revival. Suzy Q’s are back.

Remember when Hostess went under and individually wrapped Twinkies held more value than gold for a few weeks?

That feels like decades ago. When they initially released their product line again, Suzy Q’s were benched, and I guess some people were upset about this. Why they were bummed, I’ll never know.

Invented in 1961 and named after the daughter of a higher-up at the Continental Baking Company, Suzy Q’s preceded far superior cakes like Ding Dongs and Ho Hos by six years.

I’ve always been a fan of various snack cakes with no real bias towards any brand. I feel like I’ve had most if not all of what Hostess has offered over the years, but can’t remember ever eating Suzy Q’s. They always seemed like an early attempt at the Devil’s food cake with crème concept that no one bought anymore because Hostess was able to improve on the recipe.

Let’s be real, Hostess doesn’t exactly have a diverse product line. Half of their current product lineup are chocolate cakes with crème. And while one might be a cupcake, another in roll-up form, and another shaped like a hockey puck, it’s not enough of a change to warrant favoritism. Each are delicious in their own right. So why aren’t Suzy Q’s?

These things are super boring. The texture of the cake is horrendous. This is not a good sponge cake. This is a sponge labeled as a cake. The chocolate flavor is underwhelming and I’m not sure they’d work even if slathered in the plastic layer of chocolate Ding Dongs have.

The crème filling is basically what you’d expect, but that coupled with the bland sponge somehow made it taste worse than normal. I imagine the crème recipe doesn’t change much between the various products it fills, but it didn’t even taste as sugary and delicious as I’m used to.

I honestly can’t imagine a person alive who would prefer this over their other cakes. Taste is subjective, but come on.

Suzy Q’s have to be the worst snack cake Hostess makes. Have to be. There’s just no reason to ever get them when there are so many similar yet better options made by the same company and its competitors. Drake’s Devil Dogs are king, in my not so humble opinion.

I couldn’t find a box of Suzy Q’s in my local supermarket, and I gotta say I’m happy I didn’t because it would be sitting in the back of my cabinet for months.

To be fair to Hostess, they are under a new corporate umbrella now and the recipe for Suzy Q’s may have very well changed. BUT if this is the form they’ve come in since their inception, I can’t imagine them ever being good. Sorry Suzy, but you are the black sheep of the family. I don’t love you.

To misquote the film Dumb and Dumber, “That John Fogerty’s full of crap, man.”

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cakes – 310 calories, 120 calories from fat, 14 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of cholesterol, 440 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 30 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein..)

Item: Hostess Suzy Q’s
Purchased Price: $1.79
Size: 3.03 oz.
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 2 out of 10
Pros: The crème is still solid. Good to have Hostess back in our lives. CCR.
Cons: Bland cake. Weak chocolate flavor. Referring to this as a “Snack Classic.” Worst revival ever.

REVIEW: Planters Banana Sundae Mix

October 12, 2015July 19, 2023 Vin 5 Comments

Why does Mr. Peanut walk with a cane?

Because he has “planter” warts.

I said, because he has plan– BOOOOOOO!

Now that I put that visual in your heads, who’s hungry?!

I absolutely love banana snacks. If an ice cream joint has banana on their flavor list, that’s my new spot. Ya know how Apple fans camp outside stores for days to get a new iPhone? I do that in anticipation of new banana snacks hitting the shelves.

Ok, that’s an exaggeration, but the point stands – I love me some banana, and I don’t even care if you take that sentence out of context.

So with that said, when I saw Planters put out a snack mix boasting banana as the main attraction, I had to try it. Surely there was no way this mix could possibly disappoint a rabid banana lover such as me, right?

*sigh*

Can we just let banana be the star for once?!

The mix consists of honey roasted peanuts, chocolate covered peanuts, vanilla yogurt covered peanuts, strawberry covered peanuts and boring old, hard as a rock banana chips. What a letdown.

Unless the banana chip is the first thing you bite into, that flavor gets lost in the shuffle. The chocolate and sugary yogurts instantly overpower it.

Those coated pieces are way too big. I wish they were all 25 percent smaller at least, and I wish they mixed in a banana yogurt coated peanut to go with the rest.

The vanilla yogurt covered peanuts are oddly flavorless. The strawberry peanuts don’t pack much flavor either. I actually forgot they were there. I’m a huge fan of yogurt covered raisins and this coating pales in comparison to what I’m used to. Also, I know raisins don’t really mesh with this flavor profile, but I was really missing that texture in every bite.

The chocolate candy covered peanut is the star of the mix. They taste like slightly softer peanut M&Ms. Outside of the honey roasted peanuts, they were the only ingredient I’d eat a bag of by themselves. But this isn’t a “chocolate” mix, it’s a “banana” sundae mix. I didn’t sign up for overpowering chocolate.

This is a trail mix though, so the point is to eat everything at once. And as a whole, it’s reasonably successful. Does it taste like a banana sundae? Not really. Maybe one out of five bites might taste like one.

It’s almost like you’re eating a handful of Goobers. The chocolate and the peanut crunch come to the forefront more than anything else.

And with that in mind, the fact there are two yogurt coated peanuts, honey roasted peanuts, lightly caramelized banana chips, and giant chocolate balls makes this a very sweet trail mix. Tossing a few regular salted peanuts in the mix probably wouldn’t have hurt at all. I prefer my mixes to have a sweet and salty balance. The sugar lingers in your mouth, so while it’s not a big bag, I had no desire to finish it in one sitting.

I love bananas in their true form, but I love them even more in their artificial form. They loaded this mix with chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry candy coatings and just arbitrarily threw in little chunks of banana chips. There should have been multiple banana varieties. Someone get Mr. Peanut on the horn, I have a bone to pick with him.

(Nutrition Facts – 3 Tbsp – 150 calories, 90 calories from fat, 10 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 35 milligrams of sodium, 13 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 9 grams of sugar, and 3 gram of protein..)

Item: Planters Banana Sundae Mix
Purchased Price: $2.94
Size: 6 oz. bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Anything with banana is still decent. Chocolate pieces were great. Satisfies sugar craving. Honey roasted peanuts.
Cons: Banana flavor gets lost. Ridiculous 3 Tbsp serving size. Corny dad jokes, Yogurt pieces are too big and have a weak flavor.

REVIEW: Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Pie Spice Cookie Butter

September 30, 2015January 4, 2021 Vin 7 Comments

Trader Joe’s might as well be a candy store.

I’m sure their “real” food and produce are top quality, but I’ll never know. I’ve never walked out of there with anything other than a snack bounty. Take my last visit for example – chips, peanut butter cups, cookies, burritos, and Pumpkin Pie Spiced Cookie Butter.

Wait, what? Pumpkin Pie Spice Cookie Butter? What kind of sorcery is this?

I like pie! I like cookies! I like butter! Pumpkin and I can go either way, but ’tis the season. If anything is going to ruin my excitement for this, it’s the pumpkin.

Well, it looks like canned pumpkin pie filling. It smells just like pumpkin pie filling. It tastes…better than pumpkin pie filling?!

Are you familiar with the original Trader Joe’s Speculoos Cookie Butter? If not, it’s a delicious gingerbread-like spread with little bits of cookie crunch. It’s magic in a jar. Think of a slice of pumpkin pie with a dollop of that instead of Cool Whip. That’s what this tastes like. Trust me, it’s incredible.

This stuff tastes like Grandma baked a pumpkin pie with a buttery gingerbread crust, and then pureed it. Again, just trust me.

To me, pumpkin pie is one of those desserts that gets steadily worse with each bite. The first bite is delicious, especially in contrast to the savory Thanksgiving feast that preceded it. The next bite…slightly less. The bite after that makes me realize I still have half the slice to go, and from that point forward I basically have to force myself to finish. (Same goes for pecan pie if I’m being honest.)

I’ve also always found the texture of pumpkin pie filling to be slightly off-putting, almost like an off pudding, if you will. Stop booing and let me finish. I also feel like the filling is too sweet most of the time. Not with this cookie butter. This is perfectly sweet without being overwhelming.

It’s funny, when I picked this off the shelf, I wondered what I’d even spread it on. When I got home and popped it open I realized it didn’t even need to be paired with anything. There’s no need for a middle man, it’s great on its own.

Still, I had to do my due diligence for the people. In two days, I’ve already had this on toast, a bagel, an apple, and pretzel sticks. Here’s a shocker, it was great on all of them. Outside of mixing it with peanut butter, I can’t think of many snacks this wouldn’t mesh with. I’d probably spread this on chicken.

I’m having a hard time thinking of any negatives. Like regular cookie butter, I did find that I wanted to brush my teeth after eating it, as it left a gritty, pasty feeling in my mouth, but that’s me grasping at straws. I really should be grasping at a spoon to finish the jar off.

Judging from the line of products TJ’s has put out with the original cookie butter, I’m pumped to see what the future holds for this one. I’m hoping they eventually put out cookies, ice cream, and the jars with the chocolate swirl.

Pumpkin Pie Spice Cookie Butter is so good that I might write Trader Joe’s an email begging them to make actual pumpkin pies with this product for the Thanksgiving season. I’d replace the old standard with one of those in a split second.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 Tbsp. – 220 calories, 140 calories from fat, 15 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 50 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Pie Spice Cookie Butter
Purchased Price: $3.69
Size: 14.1 oz jar
Purchased at: Trader Joe’s
Rating: 10 out of 10
Pros: Better than standard pumpkin pie filling. Delicious cookie bits. Great on everything. Great on its own. Trader Joe’s innovations. Magic in a jar.
Cons: Leaves a gritty, pasty feeling in my mouth. The word “dollop.”

REVIEW: Pringles Exclusive Flavor Bourbon Barbecue Chicken

September 22, 2015August 28, 2023 Vin 3 Comments

It’s been some time since I hung with Julius Pringles. I missed him. That mustachioed egg man may have gone through image makeovers throughout the years, but his tennis ball can-packed product has remained the same – kinda boring, kinda cardboardy, but undoubtedly addictive.

Pringles has had an Oreo-like run of flavors, but none really jumped out at me until I saw they had turned my favorite free mall food court sample into a chip — Bourbon Barbecue Chicken.

I’ve never walked though my mall’s food court without a friendly peddler offering me a free bite of bourbon chicken. Sometimes the sample even convinces me to buy a plate, so why not try the chip version?

So, did Pringles nail the flavor?

No, they basically re-purposed their BBQ flavor.

Once you pop, you get the familiar BBQ Pringles smell. Once you bite in, you get an instant vinegary/soy sauce-like tang which turns into a smoky BBQ flavor. It’s a pretty intense initial flavor, but it fades quickly. It’s actually weird; they’re like Gobstopper chips – multiple flavors in layers. Once the chip’s coating dissipates, it’s just a BBQ Pringle.

Pringles claims that once I pop I won’t be able to stop. But I stopped. I had to; in fear I wouldn’t have any water left in my body. These have a little spicy kick to them. That coupled with the fact they are really salty leaves you with almost immediate dry mouth. One can say I only ate about 2 fingers worth of these Bourbon baked beauties, Sinatra-style.

I initially thought the word “chicken” seemed completely unnecessary. You’d never know these were chicken flavored as you’re eating them, but about three minutes after I ate that handful of “crisps,” my mouth tasted like I had eaten BBQ chicken. It brought back memories of hanging by my friend’s pool and eating a chicken leg from the grill. So that aftertaste was spot on as far as the “chicken” goes.

As far as “bourbon” flavor? I mean, I’ve had BBQ sauces that were made from whiskey, and it’s never really been pronounced. I tried to convince myself that I did get a very quick taste of bourbon when I was eating these, but if I did it was just for a split second.

They don’t taste like the aforementioned bourbon chicken from the mall food court, which was disappointing. To be fair though, I haven’t had it in a while. I even bypassed the free sample the last time I was there. That’s what we call self control, ladies and gentlemen.

I guess I’d say these are slightly better than regular BBQ Pringles if only for that brief difference on first taste, and the chicken-y aftertaste. If I’m being honest, BBQ is not the Pringles I’d usually go for. I’ve always preferred their sour cream and onion. Is that a controversial opinion? I have to live up to my “badboy” image.

So, if you’re in the mood for a BBQ Pringle, but aren’t near a Target, you can make do with the old standard. If you’re feeling extra rowdy, pair them with a nice glass of bourbon because… well, you don’t need an excuse for that. You work hard.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce – 150 calories, 9 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 0 milligrams of potassium, 16 grams of carbohydrates,1 gram of dietary fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Pringles Exclusive Flavor Bourbon Barbecue Chicken
Purchased Price: $1.33
Size: 6 oz. can
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Intense initial flavor, good Pringle crisp, Chicken aftertaste, Julius Pringles’ modern makeover, Summer BBQ déjà-vu, Free samples, My badboy image.
Cons: Not much difference from plain BBQ, People who say “Tar-jhey,” Dehydrating, Not really knowing the difference between Bourbon and Whiskey… because Sinatra drank Whiskey.

REVIEW: Skippy P.B. Bites (Pretzel and Double Peanut Butter)

September 10, 2015January 4, 2021 Vin 49 Comments

When it comes to peanut butter and the pronunciation of animated internet images, I – like all of those choosy moms – always choose Jif. I can’t even remember the last time I had Skippy. In fact, I’m so trained on my Simply Jif; I almost forgot Skippy was even a brand. One might say I skipped…

Nope, this one is not gonna roll with that cornball pun. Let’s get to the review instead.

A couple months back, these popped up in the “Spotted on Shelves” section of this site. A commenter named “JETKITTY” mentioned these reminded him or her of the greatest snack in the history of our time – Planters PB Crisps. Just off that mere mention alone, I made it my life’s mission to track these down. If they were anywhere near the quality of the dearly departed PB Crisps, I would have found the heir apparent to one of my five favorite snacks of all time.

So do they stack up?

Drumroll, please…

No! But they aren’t bad.

Pretzels and peanut butter are a marriage made in heaven. How could these be bad?

The peanut butter coating is creamy and not nearly as synthetic as I anticipated it to taste. I was expecting the fake peanut butter type filling from say a Nutter Butter or a Peanut Butter Oreo, but this is really smooth.

It’s also a reasonably thick coating, giving each piece a nice balance with the pretzel inside. There’s a brief sweetness to the peanut butter, but once you crunch into the pretzel, it’s gone. That was a tease. Skippy P.B. Bites basically land on the “savory” side of the snack scale. As you eat them, your mouth gets saltier. So if you expect these to be a sugary snack, you might be a bit disappointed.

Peanut butter on its own isn’t exactly “sweet” per se, but I always expect a snack built around it to be really sweet. I needed more of that out of the peanut butter. If it somehow held the brief hint through the entire bite, these would be excellent. All I could think while eating them was how much I’d appreciate a thin layer of chocolate around the outside.

I dig the shape and “poppability” of the bites. If they sold a bag of pretzels in this shape, I’d snatch them up, because they’d be fun to eat. You’d think by having a pretzel that small and compact, it would be on the hard side, but these have a really palatable crunch.

So while they’re not “Top 5 Dead or Alive” like PB crisps, they’re tasty and worth a buy. Just make sure you get the pretzel flavor, because…

Double Peanut Butter is terrible. While it has the same creamy peanut butter coating, the center has a texture I can barely describe. Once you get past the good peanut butter, you hit a square of hard, gritty chalk-like peanut butter. Have you ever gotten Cookie Dough Bites at the movie theater? Think of the cookie dough inside. Now age that 7 years and give it a considerably worse flavor. That’s what these taste like. The inner peanut butter tastes like a hardened block of sand. Horrible. They shouldn’t exist.

(Nutrition Facts – Pretzel – 15 pieces – 160 calories, 90 calories from fat, 10 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 300 milligrams of sodium, 13 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein. Double Peanut Butter – 10 pieces – 160 calories, 90 calories from fat, 10 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 120 milligrams of sodium, 14 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein.)

Item: Skippy P.B. Bites (Pretzel and Double Peanut Butter)
Purchased Price: $2.98 each
Size: 6 oz. tub
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Pretzel)
Rating: 3 out of 10 (Double Peanut Butter)
Pros: Creamy peanut butter coating. Shape and size. Tasty pretzels. “Poppability.” Any reason to reminisce about PB Crisps. You can reuse the container should you choose.
Cons: Melts very easily. Double Peanut Butter is awful. “Jif” vs. “Gif” battles rages on. RIP PB Crisps.

Author: Vin

REVIEW: Hostess Suzy Q’s

REVIEW: Planters Banana Sundae Mix

REVIEW: Pringles Exclusive Flavor Bourbon Barbecue Chicken

REVIEW: Skippy P.B. Bites (Pretzel and Double Peanut Butter)

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