ANNOUNCEMENT: New Impulsive Buy Reviewer Chris

As a child, I was a product of cable TV, reruns, and the finest DSL internet access the fine folks at MSN could provide.

My parents did everything they could to avoid me turning into a total couch potato. They’d encourage me to play outside, despite our small Oregon town’s constant rain and lack of residents under the age of 50. Console video games were forbidden. But most critically of all, they limited fast food trips to once a week – Friday nights. What was at the time a sensible step to teach dietary responsibly, created something of a pavlovian link in my brain. McDonalds french fries, Taco Bell nacho cheese, and Burgerville milkshakes were more than food – they were the harbinger of weekend joy.

Considering I’m now being paid to review both junk food and video games, I guess my parents’ efforts didn’t exactly produce the intended outcome.

My fascination with junk food is always about the cutting edge, and items than transcend cliche. I’ve personally guzzled back gallons of Mountain Dew Game Fuel, without a hint of irony. Anytime I catch wind of a new Ben And Jerry’s Flavor or ludicrous Burger King sandwich, a hunger forms in my curious soul. Call it a hobby, an obsession, or just a poorly-justified eating disorder – I’m a sucker for the junk food industry’s cynical appeals. A good gimmick will never fail to grab my attention.

That force is what pulled me to The Impulsive Buy, of which I’ve been a regular reader for years. Checking out new Spotted on Shelves posts is a near-daily habit of mine, and have had a serious impact on my grocery habits. Joining the site as a reviewer is tremendously exciting. It’s a little bit like being asked to join The Avengers, if Thor was more concerned about fried chicken than defending Asgard.

As a contributor, I vow to put my taste buds on the line to get you all the #HotTakes on hot cakes, the rapid reactions on ramen, and a third pseudo-pun about reviews of fast food items.

2016 SEASON OF GIVING (DAY 9): $5 Walgreens Gift Card

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Over the past few years, we’ve seen Target and Walmart offer exclusive flavors from brands like Ben & Jerry’s, Pringles, and Oreo. While the two big box stores get the majority of exclusives, Walgreens has had a few over the past year, like Cheesy Quesadilla Pringles and Cinnamon Roll Peeps.

RULES:

To enter this prize drawing for a $5 Walgreens Gift Card, leave a comment with THIS post. You can write whatever you want, but please don’t forget to fill out the email field because we’ll be emailing the randomly selected winner for his or her mailing address.

We will stop accepting entries on December 23, 2016 at 12:00 a.m. Hawaii Standard Time (2:00 a.m. Pacific, 5:00 a.m. Eastern). Only one comment allowed per person, and it’s only open to U.S. residents 18 years old or older.

Good luck!

FINE PRINT: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you emails about prescription drugs. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you postcards that will make you wish you were on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean instead of 20 degree weather. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail or damaged mail.

2016 SEASON OF GIVING (DAY 8): $5 Jack in the Box Gift Card

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Perhaps the highlight of Jack in the Box’s year was the Brunchfast menu, which I’m still trying to wrap my head around. Brunch is in between breakfast and lunch, but there’s another -fast, so does that mean Brunchfast happens at the beginning of brunch. Also, the menu is available all day. I’m dizzy now.

RULES:

To enter this prize drawing for a $5 Jack in the Box Gift Card, leave a comment with THIS post. You can write whatever you want, but please don’t forget to fill out the email field because we’ll be emailing the randomly selected winner for his or her mailing address.

We will stop accepting entries on December 22, 2016 at 12:00 a.m. Hawaii Standard Time (2:00 a.m. Pacific, 5:00 a.m. Eastern). Only one comment allowed per person, and it’s only open to U.S. residents 18 years old or older.

Good luck!

FINE PRINT: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you emails about how you can try out to be on a reality show. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you coconuts. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail or damaged mail.

2016 SEASON OF GIVING (DAY 7): $5 Trader Joe’s Gift Card

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I could list every Trader Joe’s product we’ve covered this year. Or I could embed a video made in 2009 about Trader Joe’s that I didn’t know existed until a week ago.

I choose the video.

RULES:

To enter this prize drawing for a $5 Trader Joe’s Gift Card, leave a comment with THIS post. You can write whatever you want, but please don’t forget to fill out the email field because we’ll be emailing the randomly selected winner for his or her mailing address.

We will stop accepting entries on December 21, 2016 at 12:00 a.m. Hawaii Standard Time (2:00 a.m. Pacific, 5:00 a.m. Eastern). Only one comment allowed per person, and it’s only open to U.S. residents 18 years old or older.

Good luck!

FINE PRINT: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you emails that link to a story about the 27 girls and guys that will make you miss summer. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you flyers for your local hair restoration clinic that will take hair from other parts on your body and put in on your head. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail or damaged mail.

2016 SEASON OF GIVING (DAY 6): $5 McDonald’s Arch Card

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I wanted to fill this space with links to all the new products McDonald’s rolled out nationwide this year, but there aren’t any. There were lots of test items and regional products, but nothing available across the country. So instead of links to new products, I’m just going to list insane menu items I hope to see from McDonald’s in 2017.

  • Enormous Mac – A burger with six quarter pound all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, pickles, and six slices of cheese on a sesame seed bun with another bun in between every patty.
  • Apple Pie Hot Fudge McFlurry – Soft serve with a couple of pumps of hot fudge with a chopped up apple pie blended in.
  • McBucket of McNuggets – A McNugget-filled bucket that’s similar in size to a KFC chicken bucket, and it comes with three containers of every dipping sauce.
  • Tray o’ Fries – A McDonald’s dine-in tray topped with a layer of McDonald’s French Fries. No take out.
  • Eggy McEggface – A breakfast sandwich made with all the ways McDonald’s prepares eggs (round egg, scrambled egg, folded egg, and egg whites).

RULES:

To enter this prize drawing for a $5 McDonald’s Arch Card, leave a comment with THIS post. You can write whatever you want, but please don’t forget to fill out the email field because we’ll be emailing the randomly selected winner for his or her mailing address.

We will stop accepting entries on December 20, 2016 at 12:00 a.m. Hawaii Standard Time (2:00 a.m. Pacific, 5:00 a.m. Eastern). Only one comment allowed per person, and it’s only open to U.S. residents 18 years old or older.

Good luck!

FINE PRINT: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you emails that link to a story about the 27 girls and guys that will make you miss summer. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you flyers for your local hair restoration clinic that will take hair from other parts on your body and put in on your head. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail or damaged mail.