Category: General

2006 Holiday Fast Food Prize Drawing!!!

Marvo 186 Comments

Giving and receiving is plentiful this time of year and is what makes this season fun, except when it comes to illegal campaign contributions, sexually transmitted diseases, and David Hasselhoff albums. The Impulsive Buy is in the mood of giving, so it’s time to hold another prize drawing.

TEN lucky Impulsive Buy readers will each receive a gift card from one of the fast food establishments I’ve reviewed products from over the years, like McDonald’s, Burger King, Jack in the Box, Jamba Juice, Wendy’s, Subway, and Quiznos.

To enter this prize drawing, just leave a comment for THIS post with “Happy (insert favorite holiday here)!” (for example: Happy Kwanzaa!) and whatever else you would like to say.

Please fill out the email field, because I’ll be emailing the winners for their mailing addresses. Don’t worry about the shipping, I’ll take care of it.

The Impulsive Buy will start accepting entries for the drawing on Tuesday, December 19, 2006 and stop accepting entries on Sunday, December 24, 2006. Only one entry allowed per person. The drawing is ONLY open to those in the United States since the cards are valid only in the US. To TIB’s international readers, I’m sorry.

The winners will be determined by attaching the email of each entry to a golden McDonald’s french fry. All the entries will be placed into the bag that the McDonald’s french fries came in. The contents of the bag will be shaken. Then the first ten entries I pull from the bag will be the winners of the gift cards. The rest of the fries will either be eaten by me, eaten by birds, or given to the crazy homeless guy who yells at everything.

Good luck!

Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you spam about dlkfjlasjoeroafd. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you a variety of mail order catalogs. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail, you receiving a lump of coal, or Santa getting stuck in a chimney.

Quick Survey

Marvo 79 Comments

I’ve been thinking about changing the Impulsive Buy a little bit.

For years, I’ve been doing a long format review, which was great when I was unemployed, had no girlfriend, and had no life, because I could post three or four reviews a week. But now that I’m employed, still have no girlfriend, and still have no life, it’s been hard to post more than two reviews a week.

I try so many products every month and get many requests to review a number of products, but at a rate of two reviews per week, it’s impossible to review everything I buy. In order to change this, I’ve been thinking about doing much shorter reviews, perhaps less than half as long as they are now.

But I’d like to know what you folks think. Should I stick to the long format and continue to have two reviews a week or should I try doing significantly shorter reviews and possibly have 3-5 reviews per week.

Please let me know in the comments.

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto!

Happy Election Day: Vote to Torture Me

Marvo 56 Comments

With it being Election Day here in the United States, I thought it would be awesometastic if I gave you readers the opportunity to vote for something here at the Impulsive Buy. I thought about doing a product election, which would’ve allowed you readers to vote for what I review next among a selection of five or six products.

Instead, I decided to do something a little bit more interesting.

Last week, Britney Spears’ favorite “hardcore rapper”/husband/baby batter provider Kevin Federline released his not-at-all-anticipated “rap album,” Playing With Fire. Now I would hate to contribute to the Kevin Federline Needs A Razor To Shave So He Doesn’t Look Like A Punkass Fund, but sometimes sacrifices need to be made in the name quasi-product reviews.

So what you’ll be voting for this Election Day is to determine whether or not you’re going to make me suffer by making me purchase and listen to Kevin Federline’s Playing With Fire. I’m pretty sure me listening to his “rap album” is going to end up winning in a landslide vote, but I’m curious to know how many of you want me to be miserable.

Now here are the voting procedures:

If you would like me to review K-Fed’s “rap album,” just leave a comment with this post with the word “Popozao” and whatever else you would like to say.

If you have compassion and don’t want me to review Playing With Fire, just leave a comment with this post with the sentence, “When Webster’s decides to add the word ‘wigger’ to its dictionary, they will put a picture of Kevin Federline next to its definition” or whatever you want to say to prevent me from reviewing it.

Voting will start immediately and will end at 12:00 a.m. (Hawaii Standard Time) on Wednesday, November 8th.

Now go vote, because I know you want me to squirm.

I’m Marvo and I approve this message.

Happy Second Anniversary!!! (Or Happy Blogiversary!!!)

Marvo 183 Comments

(Editor’s Note: I thought with it being The Impulsive Buy’s second anniversary today, I would take the time to let you know more about The Impulsive Buy via an interview with someone who knows me quite well. As a matter of fact, I’ve slept with this person so many times that this person knows the ins and outs about me, The Impulsive Buy, and a couple of sexual position that I cannot physically explain without dislocating something. The person I’m talking about is…myself.)

Marvo: First off, let me congratulate you on reaching the two year milestone at The Impulsive Buy.

Marvo: Thanks, it’s been an awesome two years.

Marvo: So let’s start at the beginning.

Marvo: Let’s.

Marvo: How did The Impulsive Buy start?

Marvo: On a dark and stormy night, I was celebrating the fact that I was unemployed and my girlfriend broke up with me by eating a half gallon of ice cream and Salt & Pepper Pringles, while reading The Onion online. I was reading The Onion because I believe that humor is the bandage for emotional wounds, I was eating ice cream because I believe it is the aloe vera for emotional burns, and I was eating the Salt & Pepper Pringles because they were new. While I was eating the Salt & Pepper Pringles, all I could think about was how crappy they were, but at the same time I was trying to prevent myself from laughing while reading some story at The Onion. That’s when I had my “you’ve got your chocolate in my peanut butter and you’ve got your peanut butter in my chocolate” epiphany and decided to start up The Impulsive Buy.

Marvo: Where did the name “Marvo” come from?

Marvo: Well, as you probably know, my first name is Marvin and I shortened it to Marvo, thinking no one would read my blog. But people began reading and the name just stuck. Thank goodness I didn’t use my original Yahoo! account name, sexxxycollegeboy1993.

Marvo: Did you know that “Marvin” means “great lover of the ocean?”

Marvo: Yes, I did, but I’m not a big fan of the ocean. Also, I like to think of myself as a great lover…period.

Marvo: I believe all your ex-girlfriends would say differently.

Marvo: You’re probably right.

Marvo: You’ve done 314 reviews so far, which one is your favorite?

Marvo: I don’t like to play favorites. I consider every single review to be like one of my illegitimate children from dozens of mommas. I sort of feel like Kevin Federline…Times twenty. I love every review equally, except the Rice Krispies Treats Kazaam Crunch review, which I wish I could drop off at an orphanage’s doorstep.

Marvo: So how are you going to celebrate the second year anniversary of The Impulsive Buy?

Marvo: I’ll probably be doing the same thing I did when it was born, eat a half gallon of ice cream, eat a can of Pringles, and cry my single lonely ass to sleep. Oh, also I’m going to have a frickin’ prize drawing. Booyah! Oh, wait. I mean, Yahtzee!

Marvo: What do you have as prizes for the Second Anniversary Prize Drawing? A date with you perhaps?

Marvo: A date with me would probably be the worst prize ever, because I would probably just take the winner to McDonald’s and only allow them to order stuff off of the Dollar Menu. Instead, three lucky Impulsive Buy readers will each receive a mystery box containing various products the Impulsive Buy has reviewed over the past two years. The contents of each box will vary.

Marvo: What do readers have to do to enter? Is there nudity involved?

Marvo: Thank goodness, no nudity…This time. To enter the Impulsive Buy’s Second Anniversary Prize Drawing, just leave a comment for THIS post with whatever you want to say. Please make sure you fill out the email field because I’ll be emailing the winners for their mailing addresses. Don’t worry about the shipping.

Marvo: Are you going to be a dick and not allow international entries?

Marvo: The Impulsive Buy will start accepting entries for the drawing on Wednesday, August 9, 2006 and stop accepting entries on Wednesday, August 16, 2006. Only one entry allowed per person. The drawing is open to EVERYONE.

Marvo: So how are you going to determine the winners?

I haven’t decided that yet. Although I could just do what I did last year.

Marvo: Hey aren’t you forgetting the fine print?

Marvo: Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you spam about sexy, single males waiting for you. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you letters that say “Do Not Discard” on the front of the envelope, which you eventually discard because it’s just a damn credit card application. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail, damaged mail, or Britney’s second child becoming the Antichrist.

Marvo: Well thanks for taking the time for this interview.

Marvo: Thanks for having me. Now if you’ll excuse me there’s a half gallon of ice cream and a can of Pringles with my name on them.

A Seinfeld Dilemma!!! Cereal Review Election!!!

Marvo 108 Comments

For those who don’t know, comedian Jerry Seinfeld is a big cereal fan. Every morning, I imagine he gets out of his bed made of money, goes down to his gold plated kitchen, and has to decide which cereal he will eat among the dozens of choices he has in his pantry. I also imagine the cereal is served on a silver platter by his butler in a stainless steel bowl and accompanied with a silver spoon and someone who reads the New York Times to him.

Being a cereal junkie myself, I sometimes feel like Jerry Seinfeld in the morning, except without the bed make of money, gold plated kitchen, silver platter, butler, stainless steel bowl, silver spoon, and someone who will read the New York Times to me. However, I do have about a dozen cereals to choose from in my pantry, and recently I added five brand new cereals from Kellogg’s.

So with this plethora of new cereals, I thought it’s a good time to have a good ol’ fashioned product election, which allows you, the readers, to vote for the product The Impulsive Buy will review next.

In this product election, you’ll be able to choose from five new cereals from Kellogg’s:

1. Kellogg’s Caramel Nut Crunch

2. Kellogg’s Mini Swirlz Peanut Butter

3. Kellogg’s Eggo Cereal Cinnamon Toast

4. Kellogg’s Berry Krispies

5. Kellogg’s Organic Raisin Bran

The cereal with the most votes will be declared the winner. The winner will be eaten and reviewed, while the other candidates will just be eaten.

To vote, leave a comment with this post with your choice. Only one choice and vote per person.

I’ll be accepting votes until Friday, July 14th. Shortly after the 14th, I’ll post the review of the winning cereal.

Now go vote like you’re a senator voting for net neutrality.