Category: General

New Look. Old K-Fed Jokes.

Marvo 25 Comments

Updated 1:55 pm (Sunday) – Emailed the developer of the theme and we tried a couple of things, but couldn’t get it to work. So I switched back to the old theme, until something can be figured out. Oh yeah, Contact Form emails are being delivered again, so you can feel free to tell me how much I suck.

Updated 12:59 am (Sunday) – Still haven’t figured it out. I’ve been tweaking things all f’n day. All I need to do is figure out why I’m not getting emails to let me know someone has commented, why I’m not getting emails with the Contact Form, and why my frickin’ sidebar drop to the bottom on some posts. Maybe I need a different theme. Anyway, emailed the developer of the theme. Hopefully, he gets back to me.

Updated 11:58 pm – For some reason post with tall images will force the sidebar to the bottom of the page. I think it’s a CSS problem, but I’ve been messing with the CSS for about two hours and haven’t figured it out. Right now, I am TIB’s bitch.

Updated 3:34 pm – Emailing reviews is now available in pop-up form, because I couldn’t get it to work in the original way. Just like the efforts women go through to look prettier, the efforts I’m going through to make TIB prettier are time-consuming, except without the complications of trying to keep fake eyelashes on.

Updated 1:40 pm – I think my RSS feeds are working again.

Updated 1:22 pm – Um, my RSS feeds aren’t working ever since I tried using Feedburner. I think it’s because my permalinks are screwed up. Right now, almost everything looks good in Firefox and Safari, except that damn “Email Review” page. The contact page still doesn’t work. Also, if you’re running IE6 or IE7, please let me know if anything doesn’t look right.

Hi there. As you can see, the look of The Impulsive Buy has changed. If not, clear your browser’s cache. Anyway, there are numerous things that don’t work here, like the ability to email reviews and contacting me.

If there are other things that don’t look right or are broken, please let me know by posting a comment. Hopefully, I can solve all the problems over the weekend.

300th Review Prize Drawing!!!

Marvo 206 Comments

Wow! 300 reviews!

I can’t believe The Impulsive Buy has reached this milestone. But what’s more impressive is the fact that I didn’t need illegal performance enhancing drugs to reach it. All it took was hard work and dedication.

Some of you might say, “Well isn’t caffeine a performance enhancing drug? We all know you’ve done a lot of caffeine.”

My response to that would be, “No, caffeine is a legal, unregulated substance, and according to the Food and Drug Administration it’s safe for consumption. Now leave me alone, before I get all Barry Bonds on your ass and starting whining and complaining about the media.”

To celebrate the 300th review, The Impulsive Buy will be holding a prize drawing.

Three lucky readers will each receive a $25 gift certificate to Threadless, which The Impulsive Buy reviewed several weeks ago. So if you’re naked because you lost your clothes at the club while the DJ was spinning Nelly’s Hot in Herre, this would be your opportunity to no longer be naked.

To enter the 300th review prize drawing, just leave a comment for THIS post with the words “I’m drug free, check my pee” in it and whatever else you would like to say. Don’t worry, you don’t have to mean it.

Please don’t forget to fill out the email field, because I’ll be emailing the gift certificates to the winners.

The Impulsive Buy will start accepting entries for the drawing on Wednesday, June 14, 2006 and stop accepting entries on Wednesday, June 21, 2006. Only one entry allowed per person. The drawing is open to EVERYONE!!!

Good luck!

Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you newsletters from Taiwan in Chinese. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for expired gift certificates, lost gift certificate codes, or the extra facial hair or enlarged forehead caused by the use of illegal performance enhancing drugs.

(Editor’s Note: If you’re interested — or bored — please check out the new review blog I started up called Cereal Mashup.)

Hello Visitors From Kim Komando’s Cool Site of the Day!

Marvo 48 Comments

Right now, The Impulsive Buy is being bombarded by visitors from somewhere unknown Kim Komando’s Cool Site of the Day. I just want to welcome those visitors from somewhere unknown Kim Komando’s Cool Site of the Day and hope you enjoy your stay here.

The Impulsive Buy is dedicated to providing humorous quasi-reviews about various consumer goods. Each review goes off on some tangent, but almost always comes back to complete the review. If it didn’t, we wouldn’t be a quasi-review website. Instead we would be some quasi-babbling website.

The Impulsive Buy USUALLY posts two or three reviews a week. About one in every fifty are actually any good.

The staff of The Impulsive Buy are not experts, but they do like to try anything that has any of the following words on the product: new, improved, new and improved, better tasting, reconditioned, less fat, fat-free, best-selling, less calories, reduced for quick sale, limited edition, free toy, 50% off, or now with Olestra.

Thanks for visiting.

Marvo
Editor
The Impulsive Buy

PS – Where the heck are you folks coming from?

April Prize Drawing!!!

Marvo 57 Comments

For this month’s prize drawing, I’m going to leggo a few Eggos.

Oh wait. For some reason, that doesn’t sound right.

It sounds either perverted or painful.

Anyway, two lucky readers will each win a box of Eggo Cereal, which The Impulsive Buy reviewed last month. Eggo Cereal is great for those who love waffles, but bad for those who hate spoons.

To enter this month’s prize drawing, just leave a comment for THIS post with the words “Leggo my Eggo” and whatever else you would like to say.

Please fill out the email field, because I’ll be emailing the winners for their mailing addresses. Don’t worry about the shipping, I’ll take care of it.

The Impulsive Buy will start accepting entries for the drawing on Tuesday, April 11, 2006 and stop accepting entries on Sunday, April 16, 2006. Only one entry allowed per person. The drawing is ONLY open to those in the United States, US Military APOs, Canada, and Guam. (To the rest of the planet, I’m sorry.)

Good luck!

Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you spam asking if you want to meet later. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you information about seminars that will improve your business relationships. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail, damaged mail, or you waking up with The King.

March Prize Drawing!!!

Marvo 98 Comments

Saint Patrick’s Day is coming up and it’s a great day to get drunk, get pinched, and get caught urinating in public.

However, no one gives gifts for Saint Patrick’s Day. So this month two lucky readers will each receive a Saint Patrick’s Day gift from The Impulsive Buy.

These two lucky readers will each win A BOX of the Extra Cool Watermelon Gum, which I reviewed the other week. It’s enough gum to last for weeks, unless you have a strong oral fixation and you also like to share, then it will only last you a couple of days.

Just like last month, I’ll be having two separate drawings. However, this month, one drawing is for men only and the other drawing is only for the ladies in the hizzouse. So one Barney will win a box and one Betty will win a box.

However, if you happen to be a hermaphrodite, I will enter you in both drawings. But if you are a hermaphrodite, and you win, you MUST show proof in the form of a doctor’s note.

To enter this month’s prize drawing, just leave a comment for THIS post with THREE THINGS.

1. The words “Hey! Nice watermelons!”
2. Whether you’re a male, female, or a hermaphrodite.
3. Whatever else you would like to say.

Please fill out the email field, because I’ll be emailing the winners for their mailing addresses. Don’t worry about the shipping, I’ll take care of it.

The Impulsive Buy will start accepting entries for the drawing on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 and stop accepting entries on Sunday, March 19, 2006. Only one entry allowed per person. The drawing is ONLY open to those in the United States, US Military APOs, Canada, and Guam. (To the rest of the planet, I’m sorry.)

Good luck!

Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you spam about “lovely russian bittches in action.” (Yes, that’s how the spammers spelled it.) The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you information about seminars that will improve your managerial skills. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail, damaged mail, or Brokeback Mountain not winning Best Picture.