Category: General

June Prize Drawing!!!

Marvo 74 Comments

Holy crap! It’s that time of the month again!

It’s time for this month’s prize drawing, which is when The Impulsive Buy could possibly make your dreams come true, if your dream is to win a very cheap household or food product from some quasi-product review blog, which has a editor that can’t stop stroking his freshly Veet-ed legs.

Anyway, this month, three lucky Impulsive Buy readers will each receive ONE brand new bottle of Poop Water!

To enter this month’s prize drawing, just leave a comment for THIS post with the words “Plop, plop, fizz, fizz” in it and whatever else you would like to say.

Or, if you think I’m a greedy comment whore, you can also enter by sending me an email with the phrase “Plop, plop, fizz, fizz” in the subject field.

If you leave a comment, you must fill out the email field, because I’ll be emailing the winners for their mailing addresses. Don’t worry about the shipping, I’ll take care of it.

The Impulsive Buy will start accepting entries for the drawing on Tuesday, June 14, 2005 and stop accepting entries on Sunday, June 19, 2005. Only one entry allowed per person. The drawing is ONLY open to those in the United States, US Military APOs, and Canada. (Sorry to the rest of the world.)

To determine the winners, I will write the email of each person who enters on a sheet of two-ply toilet paper and then…Um…

Nope, can’t do that, too sloppy.

Um…Can’t do that either, too smelly.

Oh well, I’ll figure it out later. All I know is that determining the winner will involve my toilet, and maybe a plunger.

Good luck!

Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you spam about how you’re entitled to someone’s money in a foreign country you’ve never heard of. The Impulsive Buy also promise your mailing address will not be used to send you America Online CDs that offer you 1000 free hours. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail or the stupidity of any parents who allow their children to stay over at the Neverland Ranch.

Which of the Five Will Stay Alive!!! (June Edition)

Marvo 108 Comments

If you could step into my bedroom, you would probably think to yourself:

1. Why is there a rug with the famous painting of dogs playing poker on it?

2. Is the strobe light on all the time?

3. Are the eyes in the poster-sized picture of Marvo on the wall following me?

4. What’s with all the pairs of fuzzy handcuffs?

5. Holy crap! There sure are a lot of empty bottles and boxes on that shelf.

Yes, there are a lot of empty bottle and boxes of unreviewed products on my shelf and every so often I need to whittle it down. Thank goodness for these product elections, which is an opportunity to get rid of old stuff to make room for new stuff.

Damn, I sound like a car salesman.

Anyway, for this product election, you will be able to choose from FIVE candidates:

1. Lay’s Pizza Stax

2. Mini Swirlz Cinnamon Buns Cereal

3. Nabisco Kid Sense Smilin’ Ritz Bits

4. Rip It Energy Fuel

5. Bubblicious LeBron’s Lightning Lemonade Gum

The candidate with the most votes will be declared the winner. The winner will be reviewed and the other candidates will be considered the winner’s bitches.

To vote, just leave a comment for this post with your choice. Or you can email me with your choice in the subject line. Only one choice and vote per person.

I’ll be accepting votes until Sunday, June 5th. Sometime shortly after that, I’ll post the review of the winning product.

Now go vote like it’s the finals of American Idol.

May Prize Drawing!!!

Marvo 48 Comments

Being it’s the middle of Spring, I felt it would be appropriate to make this month’s prize drawing prize the Irish Spring MicroClean soap, which The Impulsive Buy reviewed in April.

Now that I think about it, it also would’ve made a great prize for March’s prize drawing, since the Irish Spring MicroClean would’ve been perfect thing to wear on Saint Patrick’s Day. You could’ve connected it to a rope and worn it around your neck, much like how Flavor Flav has a giant clock around his neck.

Anyway, two lucky readers will each receive ONE brand new bar of Irish Spring MicroClean.

Yeah! How you like me now, Consumer Reports? Who the man now? I’m giving away bars of soap. What you givin’ away? You better recognize! If you don’t, I’m gonna be all up in your grill. Yahtzee, beeyatch!

To enter this month’s prize drawing, just leave a comment for THIS post with the words “I’m dirrty” in it and whatever else you would like to say. (Yes, you have to spell it like that. Although, we will also accept “derrty.”) Or, if you think we’re greedy comment whores here, you can also enter by sending us an email with the phrase “I’m dirrty” in the subject field.

If you leave a comment, you must fill out the email field, because we will be emailing the winners for their mailing addresses. Don’t worry about the shipping, we will take care of it.

We will start accepting entries for the drawing on Tuesday, May 10, 2005. We will stop accepting entries on Friday, May 13, 2005. Only one entry allowed per person. The drawing is ONLY open to those in the United States and Canada. (Sorry, rest of the world)

To determine the winners, I will take all the entries into the shower with me and moisten each one of them. Then I will stick each entry on my shower curtain and let them dry overnight. The next morning I will shake my shower curtain until all the entries fall off.

The last two entries to fall will be considered the winners.

Good luck!

Fine Print: We promise your email address will not be used to send you spam about sweet and innocent looking 18 year old girls. We also promise your mailing address will not be used to send you offers for a gimmicky Bank One credit card. Bribes will not be accepted. We will not be responsible for lost mail or the future of Britney’s child.