Category: General

If you could step into my bedroom, you would probably think to yourself:

1. Why is there a rug with the famous painting of dogs playing poker on it?

2. Is the strobe light on all the time?

3. Are the eyes in the poster-sized picture of Marvo on the wall following me?

4. What’s with all the pairs of fuzzy handcuffs?

5. Holy crap! There sure are a lot of empty bottles and boxes on that shelf.

Yes, there are a lot of empty bottle and boxes of unreviewed products on my shelf and every so often I need to whittle it down. Thank goodness for these product elections, which is an opportunity to get rid of old stuff to make room for new stuff.

Damn, I sound like a car salesman.

Anyway, for this product election, you will be able to choose from FIVE candidates:

1. Lay’s Pizza Stax

2. Mini Swirlz Cinnamon Buns Cereal

3. Nabisco Kid Sense Smilin’ Ritz Bits

4. Rip It Energy Fuel

5. Bubblicious LeBron’s Lightning Lemonade Gum

The candidate with the most votes will be declared the winner. The winner will be reviewed and the other candidates will be considered the winner’s bitches.

To vote, just leave a comment for this post with your choice. Or you can email me with your choice in the subject line. Only one choice and vote per person.

I’ll be accepting votes until Sunday, June 5th. Sometime shortly after that, I’ll post the review of the winning product.

Now go vote like it’s the finals of American Idol.

Being it’s the middle of Spring, I felt it would be appropriate to make this month’s prize drawing prize the Irish Spring MicroClean soap, which The Impulsive Buy reviewed in April.

Now that I think about it, it also would’ve made a great prize for March’s prize drawing, since the Irish Spring MicroClean would’ve been perfect thing to wear on Saint Patrick’s Day. You could’ve connected it to a rope and worn it around your neck, much like how Flavor Flav has a giant clock around his neck.

Anyway, two lucky readers will each receive ONE brand new bar of Irish Spring MicroClean.

Yeah! How you like me now, Consumer Reports? Who the man now? I’m giving away bars of soap. What you givin’ away? You better recognize! If you don’t, I’m gonna be all up in your grill. Yahtzee, beeyatch!

To enter this month’s prize drawing, just leave a comment for THIS post with the words “I’m dirrty” in it and whatever else you would like to say. (Yes, you have to spell it like that. Although, we will also accept “derrty.”) Or, if you think we’re greedy comment whores here, you can also enter by sending us an email with the phrase “I’m dirrty” in the subject field.

If you leave a comment, you must fill out the email field, because we will be emailing the winners for their mailing addresses. Don’t worry about the shipping, we will take care of it.

We will start accepting entries for the drawing on Tuesday, May 10, 2005. We will stop accepting entries on Friday, May 13, 2005. Only one entry allowed per person. The drawing is ONLY open to those in the United States and Canada. (Sorry, rest of the world)

To determine the winners, I will take all the entries into the shower with me and moisten each one of them. Then I will stick each entry on my shower curtain and let them dry overnight. The next morning I will shake my shower curtain until all the entries fall off.

The last two entries to fall will be considered the winners.

Good luck!

Fine Print: We promise your email address will not be used to send you spam about sweet and innocent looking 18 year old girls. We also promise your mailing address will not be used to send you offers for a gimmicky Bank One credit card. Bribes will not be accepted. We will not be responsible for lost mail or the future of Britney’s child.

Sorry, no review today, but I’m bringing back an oldie, but goodie. It’s product election time! (Damn, I need a catchier name than that!)

For those of you who are new to The Impulsive Buy, every so often we hold a product election, which allows you, the readers, the decide what product The Impulsive Buy will review. The product election also allows me to get rid of a lot of empty boxes and bottles of stuff I’ve been meaning to review, but have been too lazy to.

Usually these product elections consists of two or three products. However, this one will be the biggest product election ever in the long, nine-month history of The Impulsive Buy.

In this election, you will be able to choose from FIVE candidates:

1. White Castle Microwaveable Cheeseburgers

2. Red Baron Carb Works French Bread Pizza

3. Cheer Dark Laundry Detergent

4. Glaceau Revive Vitamin Water

5. Cinnamon Roll Pop-Tarts

Like every election – well, almost every election – the candidate with the most votes will be declared the winner. The winner will be reviewed and the other candidates will be thrown in the trash or recycled.

If there is a tie, I am screwed.

To vote, just leave a comment for this post with your choice. Or you can email me with your choice in the subject line. Only one choice and vote per person.

I’ll be accepting votes until Sunday, May 1st. Sometime shortly after that, I’ll post the review of the winning product.

Now go vote like it’s Iraq in 2005.