Happy Belated 100th Review Day!!!

Celebration Time

Yes, you read right. Yesterday, the Impulsive Buy posted its 100th review.

To celebrate we’re not going to do the 101st review today. However, we are going to have a prize drawing. Not just any prize drawing. The most kick ass prize drawing ever in Impulsive Buy history.

We’re not talking anorexic Paris Hilton ass, we’re talking big Jennifer Lopez ass.

Sure we’ve given away pudding, antibacterial wipes, and Oral-B Brush-Ups, but this prize will be bigger and better than anything else we’ve given away.

Remember when Oprah gave away all those cars? It won’t even be close to that big, but it will be better than winning fifth place in a race.

So what is the Impulsive Buy giving away to celebrate our 100th review?

Um…We’re not sure yet, but we promise it will be the greatest thing you’ve probably ever won, unless you’ve won the Publisher’s Clearing House Sweepstakes or the lottery.

The prize is so kick ass that there will only be ONE prize available.

To enter, just leave a comment for THIS POST with the words “Enter Me” in it and whatever else you would like to say. For those who are comment shy and would like to enter, email us with the words “Enter Me” in the subject line.

If you leave a comment, please don’t forget to fill out the email field.

We will accept entries from January 12, 2005 thru January 16, 2005. Only one entry allowed per person. The drawing is only open to those in the United States, Canada, and APOs.

Entries will be printed on pieces of paper and thrown into a jar. After all the entries are collected, I will pour all the entries onto my bed and roll over them with my sweaty naked body.

After rolling around for awhile, I will get up from my bed and let the entries that have stuck onto me fall off.

The last entry that falls off will be the winner of the most kick ass Impulsive Buy prize ever.

Fine Print: We promise your email address will not be used to send you spam about low interest home loans. We also promise your mailing address will not be used to send you old J. Crew catalogs. Bribes will not be accepted. We will not be responsible for lost mail.

Happy I Need To Buy A New Camera Day!!!

Stick Figure

Sorry there isn’t a review today…Um…I REALLY need to buy a new digital camera because mine went kaput the other day.

It was a Nikon 3100 I bought a year and a half ago.

I’m not sure how it broke, but it happened when I was just about to take a picture of a new candy bar. The camera’s LCD screen suddenly went black with white lines going across it. I tried various things to fix it, but I didn’t have any luck.

Too bad the warranty is only good for one year.

So right now I can’t take pictures of products without a digital camera. I thought about using a regular 35mm camera, but I hate waiting for film to get developed.

I also thought about drawing the products, but I can’t draw…except stick figures (see drawing on right).

Oh crap! I can’t even draw decent stick figures.

So today I’m off to go shopping for a new camera.

Ooh, I can review my new camera!

Oh wait, how am I supposed to take a picture of my new digital camera with my new digital camera?

Bah, I’ll figure that out later.

Happy New Year!!!

Since I must prepare myself to be the designated driver for this New Year’s Eve, there won’t be a review today.

I was going to review the year 2004, but I don’t remember much besides the U.S. presidential election, the war in Iraq, and the Boston Red Sox winning the World Series.

Instead, since it’s the end of the year, I decided to list my Top 10 favorite Impulsive Buy reviews from 2004.

10. The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People
9. Mountain Dew Pitch Black
8. Ice Breakers Liquid Ice
7. Mrs. Butterworth’s Little Dunkers
6. Jamie Cullum – Twentysomething
5. Firefox 1.0
4. Jello Oreo Instant Pudding
3. Maruchan Creamy Alfredo Instant Lunch Ramen Noodles
2. Sexy Hair Concepts Hard Up Hair Gel
1. Chips Ahoy Cremewiches

Happy New Year!

Memey Christmas!!!

I’m not one of those people who would jump into a volcano if everyone else jumped into it, but I was asked by Impulsive Buy fanatic, Mellie from Golly Blog Howdy to do this meme, which seems to be really popular right now in the blogosphere.

At first, I didn’t want to do it, but it’s the giving season, Mellie is one of the Impulsive Buy’s biggest fans, and Mellie said it would be like me doing a product review on myself.

So here I am, jumping into a volcano…

Three names you go by:
1. Marvo
2. Marv
3. Mar

Three screen names you have:
1. Marvo (That’s it)

Three things you like about yourself:
1. My sense of humor
2. My creativity
3. My ability to talk about anything and nothing

Three things you hate/dislike about yourself:
1. My slouch
2. My gut (Stop looking at my gut! I’m working on it!)
3. My bank account

Three parts of your heritage:
1. Japanese (Unless my mom and dad aren’t telling me something)

Three things that scare you:
1. Panhandlers
2. Ben Affleck movies
3. Creamy Alfredo Ramen

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. iPod (The way I drown out the rest of the world)
2. Power Mac G4
3. Peanut butter and guava jelly toast

Three things you are wearing right now:
1. Nike running shorts
2. Plain gray t-shirt
3. Gap plaid boxers

Three of your favorite bands/artists at the moment:
1. Stephen Lynch (comedian)
2. Do As Infinity (Japanese rock band)
3. Alkaline Trio

Three of your favorite songs at present:
1. “Baby” by Stephen Lynch
2. “I’m Not Okay (I Promise)” by My Chemical Romance
3. “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” by Green Day

Three things you want to try in the next 12 months:
1. Get a real job (This freelance writing thing is tough)
2. Lose 10 pounds
3. Beat down spammers Bob and Texas Holdem with a rusty shovel

Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
1. Sense of humor
2. Good conversation
3. Intelligence

Two truths and a lie:
1. I got an angry letter from a multi-billion dollar fast food chain
2. I can touch my nose with my tongue
3. I’m a compulsive recycler.

Three physical things about the opposite (or same) sex that appeals to you:
1. Nice smile
2. Nice legs
3. Baby-making hips

Three things you just can’t do:
1. A cartwheel
2. Name all 50 state and their capitals
3. Eat anything with coconuts (I HATE coconuts)

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. Writing/Blogging
2. Watching the Daily Show
3. Eating stuff I shouldn’t be eating and then exercising to make up for the fact that I’m eating stuff I shouldn’t be eating

Three things you want to do really badly right now:
1. Buy a new digital camera (Mine broke an hour ago)
2. Order a pizza
3. Go to the bathroom.

Three careers you’re considering:
1. Professional writer/blogger
2. Advertising copywriter
3. Homely, slightly overweight stripper

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. Seattle
2. Vancouver
3. Italy

Three kids names:
I don’t have kids (at least, none that I know of), but here are some random names.
1. Aaron
2. Candace
3. Mellie

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Live
2. Pay off my car loan
3. Make out with either Angelina Jolie or Winona Ryder or both at the same time


Item: Marvo
Purchase Price: $5.00 (I believe that’s the going rate for homely, slightly overweight strippers)
Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: Ability to put together a sentence. Long sideburns.
Cons: Homely. Slightly overweight. Slouches.

Happy Holy Crap It’s Almost Christmas And I Didn’t Buy Anyone A Gift Day!!!

Santa

Sorry there will be no review today, as I make my way to the crowded shopping malls to do all my Christmas shopping.

I must prepare to fight with little old ladies for $5.99 DVDs; find ways to overcome my claustrophobia; try to find the perfect gift, but settle for gift cards; and sit on Santa’s lap and tell him what I REALLY want for Christmas is for him to take his hand off of my ass.

(Just a friendly tip for you Christmas shoppers. If there’s a valet service at the mall you’re going to, take advantage of that sucker, because it’s sooo worth it.)

Oh yeah, I pulled the winners for this month’s prize drawing yesterday. The three lucky winners will each receive one (1) box of Jello Oreo Instant Pudding.

There 3 winners are:

1. Jenny (Ficklewhimsy Jenny)
2. Aymie’s Mom
3. hmw

Congratulations to the winners.

Okay, I haven’t done this in a long time. I’m going to let you vote on what product I’m going to review on Monday, December 27th. I’m going to give you three options.

The product with the most votes will be reviewed and the other two products will be banished to product review hell, where they will never get reviewed.

Here are your three choices:

1. Pop-Tarts Frosted Caramel Chocolate Snak-Stix
2. Subway Toasted Chicken Bacon Ranch Sub
3. Mountain Dew Baja Blast

Voting will end at December 26th at 11:59 pm (Hawaii Standard Time).