REVIEW: Taco Bell Midnight Cherry Freeze

Taco Bell’s new, limited edition Midnight Cherry Freeze is a Slurpee-esque frozen drink, but right off the bat, the flavor name sounded more like a type of Gatorade. This ended up being prescient, as that’s pretty much what it tasted like too.

I was expecting something primarily sugary and syrupy with undertones of the synthetic fruit flavors that, if you’re frequenting this junk food blog, you probably know and love, so I was really surprised by how tart it actually was. Yes, tartness is a flavor that’s typically associated with cherries, but Taco Bell’s website describes this as “A sweet, blue raspberry-flavored Freeze with a swirl of black cherry flavor,” so I was thinking that the blue raspberry would be more dominant here.

The color of my Freeze certainly supported that theory; it was practically solid blue, with some faint purply red patches on the very edges, which was the only hint that another flavor was mixed in there. (Granted, my drink was served in a colorfully designed opaque Decades cup per Taco Bell’s ongoing promotion, rather than the usual clear cup, which would have made striations of different colors more visible, but still, even swirling my straw around to try to find more of that cherry color yielded nothing.) Despite this visual imbalance, either the blue raspberry flavor was extremely weak or the black cherry flavor was extremely strong because the latter was what made an impression on me.

In addition to the tartness, my Freeze had that distinctive tangy, saline sharpness that reminded me of Gatorade just as much as its dramatic “cool sounding but ultimately irrelevant word plus fruit” naming scheme. The flavor was intense enough that even as a frozen beverage aficionado, I could barely finish my Regular size and was grateful when it was done. That intensity heightened even more when I got the occasional sip that was pure syrup: without the refreshing ice to balance it out, the taste came close to crossing over from mere tartness into sheer sourness. Blessedly, though, I did notice a crisp, almost biting aftertaste that reminded me of Sprite and helped reset my palate a bit before bracing myself for the next mouth-puckering sip.

My favorite part of this drink was probably the ice. I’m used to similar frozen beverages having a disappointingly inconsistent texture, where your first few sips are pure flavor and then you’re almost instantly left with a three-quarters-full cup of solid ice, all of the yumminess and color sucked straight out of it, but that issue was gracefully avoided here. This Freeze was well-blended enough that it was more plush than grainy, which meant I was able to get to nearly the very bottom of the cup before I was confronted with some small lumps of ice that I couldn’t slurp up.

If a craving for a frosty beverage strikes you, I wouldn’t suggest you “Freeze” what you’re doing just to check this one out. But if you happen to already be in the mood for Taco Bell and want to pick this up on the side, you could do worse. This Midnight Cherry is more like “Alright (very).”

Purchased Price: $4.02
Size: Regular (16 oz)
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 130 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 35 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 34 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Sourdough Smashed Jack

Jack in the Box’s Sourdough Jack has existed for almost 30 years. The combination of a beef patty, hickory smoked bacon, tomato, melted Swiss-style cheese, mayo, and ketchup on toasted sourdough bread is a satisfying savory bomb of a sandwich. But I believe I’ve tasted something better that uses the chain’s sourdough — the Sourdough Smashed Jack.

The menu item features a smashed beef patty, American cheese, pickles, grilled onions, and Jack’s Boss Sauce on toasted sourdough bread. It’s basically a Classic Smashed Jack, but with the brioche bun swapped for sourdough bread. There’s also a version that comes with a second patty and bacon.

My taste buds were tantalized by the Sourdough Smashed Jack because they enjoyed the tasty Boss Sauce, which isn’t a new condiment and debuted with the original Smashed Jack. Although the classic version came out in January, I missed tasting it because it quickly sold out. But when it came back on the menu, I was distracted by newer, younger products, so I just got around to trying a Smashed Jack now.

Anyhoo, back to the sauce. It’s the primary reason why the Sourdough Smashed Jack tastes excellent. Its sweet and tangy flavor is “secret sauce”-like, and it’s enhanced by the onions and pickles. The orange cheese slice helped prevent the pickles and onions from falling out and gave the burger a welcome savory kick. As for the beef patty, I think it was smashed, or maybe it’s just thin, but it didn’t have the crispy edges that smashed burgers are known for. Although its meatiness comes through, I kind of wish this had a second patty. The sourdough bread was buttery, but like I’ve experienced with other menu items that feature it, it doesn’t have a notable flavor.

Jack in the Box Sourdough Smashed Jack is one savory, tangy, and tasty boss of a sandwich, thanks to that Boss Sauce. But I imagine it’s not that different tasting than the equally priced Classic Smashed Jack.

Purchased Price: $9.79
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 690 calories. No other nutritional numbers are available on the Jack in the Box website or app.

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Noggy or Nice Biscoff Shake

The person who came up with the names for Jack in the Box’s most recent shakes needs a raise because they are doing some wonderful word working that brings a smile to my face. There was fall’s Witch Please Shake, and now there’s the new Noggy or Nice Biscoff Shake. (NOTE: Jack in the Box still offers the Witch Please Shake and calls it that in the app, but sadly, the menu board in the restaurant uses the less creative Purple Oreo Crumble Shake.)

The seasonal dessert features a vanilla shake blended with eggnog flavor and Biscoff cookie crumbs. It is finished with whipped topping and more cookie crumbs. An eggnog-flavored shake isn’t new to Jack in the Box. It has offered the delicious dessert on and off for several years during the holiday season. But does adding Biscoff cookies make it even better?

After trying the chain’s new Biscoff Donut Holes and being disappointed, I was a tad hesitant about the shake and its Biscoff-iness. However, this sippable dessert has a much better flavor than the donut holes, though it comes in spurts.

It’s either you taste eggnog or Biscoff cookie, it’s never at the same time. The first few sips I took had a strong eggnog flavor, but I know there were crumbs included because I could feel them when they came out of the straw, although they were tiny due to being blended with the base. When I chewed on those tiny bits, I still got an overwhelming eggnog taste. But that was before I mixed in the whipped topping and cookie crumbs on top into the base. When I did that, some bigger chunks were coming up my straw, and when I chewed on them, I got a taste of the spiced cookie that was strong enough to block out any of the eggnog flavors. That’s not a bad thing, though. Tasting an eggnog shake with occasional bursts of Biscoff is still delightful.

Jack in the Box’s Noggy or Nice Biscoff Shake is an upgrade over its usual eggnog offering. However, if you think about it, it isn’t very different from most shakes it offers. It’s basically shake + cookie crumbs, which it has done ad nauseam with Oreo cookies. And I imagine someday, the chain will offer an eggnog shake with Oreo crumbs and call it the Noggy Oreo Nice Shake.

Wait. Am I the one who comes up with the names?

Purchased Price: $6.29
Size: Regular
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 800 calories. No other nutritional numbers are available on the Jack in the Box website or app.

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Loco Moco Smashed Jack

Yes, what you’re looking at above is a burger topped with white rice. It’s probably the first time you’ve seen one. It’s definitely the first time I’ve seen one. It’s not a joke. It’s not some TikTok menu hack. It’s actually supposed to be there as part of the Hawaii-exclusive Jack in the Box Loco Moco Smashed Jack.

The burger honors the loco moco, a popular dish here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. It’s a layer of white rice, topped with a beef patty and a fried egg, and everything is covered with gravy. While I’ve had a loco moco from convenience stores and fancy restaurants that have cloth napkins, I’ve never had it from a fast food chain. Jack’s burger version of the dish features a 1/4 pound smashed patty made with 100% seasoned beef, a freshly cracked egg, an onion ring, white rice, and loco moco-style gravy on a brioche bun.

So, about the onion ring…while I’ve had a few loco mocos with sautéed onions, adding them is a slight deviation from the standard recipe you’d get from most places. However, the onion ring here seems necessary because its flavor enhances the gravy, giving it a stronger punch. There’s a decent amount of brown sauce, but sadly, it’s not oozing out from the burger, and if not for the onion, it would have too mild of a taste.

Another characteristic of a loco moco not seen in this Jack in the Box offering is a runny yolk. Yes, consuming undercooked eggs may increase your risk of foodborne illnesses, but the fried egg’s runny yolk in an actual loco moco adds a rich eggy flavor to the dish. In this burger, the fried egg with its fully cooked yolk adds more of a squishy sound than an egg flavor.

As for the white rice, I wish I could say that it’s exquisite pearl white medium grain rice imported from the mountains of Hokkaido, Japan, that’s been washed with lava rock filtered spring water and prepared in a rice cooker that uses an algorithm to maintain the perfect level of heat and moisture to maintain freshness. But there’s not much to say about it. However, because it’s sticky rice, it doesn’t fall out while eating the burger. Yes, eating rice in a burger is odd, but it’s necessary to get across that this is a loco moco burger. However, having two different starches muzzle the gravy and beef flavors, and it might be why I don’t really taste the egg.

Overall, while Jack in the Box’s Loco Moco Smashed Jack is a unique item and quite filling thanks to having two starches and two proteins, I don’t think it’s flavorful enough to convince me to eat it as regularly as an actual loco moco.

Purchased Price: $9.99
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 770 calories. No other nutritional numbers are available on the Jack in the Box website or app.

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Biscoff Donut Holes

I can’t really complain about the $1.50 price of Jack in the Box’s Biscoff Donut Holes. It’s rare to see sub-two-dollar fast food menu items nowadays. That’s loose change under a car’s floor mats. That’s a couple of dives into a wishing fountain. That’s a few minutes of coin collecting under a roller coaster. However, while I can’t grumble about the price, I can grouse about everything else regarding the sweet snack.

Available in only a three-piece order, the menu item features donut holes tossed in a Biscoff cookie crumble. Jack in the Box also offers a shake and a sweet cream iced coffee with Biscoff cookie crumbles for the holiday season.

First off, my order was served at room temperature. Nothing on the Jack in the Box website or app says it comes warm, but it would’ve been a little nice if they were. The Biscoff cookie crumble coating has a slight sugary crunch, which is pleasing, but what’s inside is less so.

Obviously, these aren’t made fresh, but they have a slightly gummy texture that screams cheap, prepackaged convenience store donuts from a bakery that claims their products are baked with love but are really baked in special metal machinery designed to pump out as many baked goods as possible and is as cold as a black heart when they sit motionless and alone overnight.

The gumminess could be forgiven a little if these had a wonderful spiced Biscoff cookie flavor, but it’s not recognizable in the donuts’ coating. There’s a mild sweetness and a bit of spice, but it doesn’t wow my taste buds or instantly bring the delicious flavor of Biscoff cookies to mind.

With the combination of disappointing flavor and texture, these Jack in the Box Biscoff Donut Holes are mediocre. Maybe I got a bad batch. Or maybe my order was sitting around for too long. Or perhaps I just got what I paid for.

Purchased Price: $1.50
Size: 3 pieces
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 230 calories. Other nutrition numbers aren’t available on the Jack in the Box website or app.