Category: Reviews

REVIEW: Burger King Mozzarella Fries

Jenna 3 Comments

I thought I’d seen all the shapes fried mozzarella could come in: cylindrical, square-ish, flat (looking at you, TGI Fridays), wedges, balls, curds… but I can confidently say that Burger King has surprised me with its new Mozzarella Fries.

To be clear, it’s not the “Mozzarella” part that’s new, just the conjunction with the “Fries” part. Burger King has had a more traditionally named and shaped order of mozzarella sticks on its menu before, but like its beloved poultry predecessor, the Chicken Fries, this new creation takes those standard sticks and stretches them into a longer, thinner shape (no potatoes are actually involved) and plops them into a cute and colorful carton for convenient—and showy—snacking.

However, I did have some confusion about whether they were intended to be an appetizer or the main event. I ordered mine from the “Sides” section on the kiosk, which seems pretty self-explanatory, but I was also given the more meal-esque option of 4, 8, or 12 pieces and an offer to actually “Make it a meal?” by adding, well, regular fries. That seemed like a bit of a stretch (no pun intended), so I demurred, but I still ordered the largest size and got something that at least resembled a proper dinner in terms of portion, if not nutritional content.

Anyway, the ideal mozzarella stick for me is one with cheese that’s dense rather than stretchy, with the mozzarella and the breading being such distinct entities that you can nibble the breading off entirely without marring the solid contents within. That, as I guessed just by looking at them, is not the experience provided by the Mozzarella Fries. The cheese and the breading here are quite codependent; when you take a bite of the thick, crisp outside, the hot, runny inside instantly loses its shape, oozing out in an Instagram-worthy cheese pull.

The thinness of these sticks makes them quite brittle, too: a good portion of my order was bent or snapped completely in half, which didn’t really detract from the quality but was interesting to note in comparison to the sturdier, stabler conventional mozzarella stick.

And just like it doesn’t have much of its own shape, the mozzarella doesn’t have much of its own flavor either. The toasty breading, which was fried potently enough to give off a powerful smell and had a small bit of zest from a spice I couldn’t identify but whose presence I appreciated, made up most of the taste experience. Even when I nibbled some of the stretchy cheese on its own, I was hard-pressed to come up with a description for it. It was just mild (and perhaps even, as the kids would say, “mid”).

These come with marinara sauce on the side, which seemed like a sensible way to jazz things up… but don’t be fooled. I was mildly concerned upon opening my packet and seeing a dark, gelatinous mass that looked more like barbecue sauce. I should have heeded that discomfort because the sauce was so acidic it tasted like I was dipping my Mozzarella Fries in straight vinegar.

Overall, though, these still provided a great experience—the novel fry shape and the joyfulness of mozzarella sticks, in general, were fun enough that I was happy to overlook the fact that they’re ever so slightly lackluster. Apologies for being cheesy, but there is “mozz” to like!

Purchased Price: $6.39
Size: 12 pieces
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 730 calories, 36 grams of fat, 2,350 milligrams of sodium, 71 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of sugar, and 29 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Haagen-Dazs New York Strawberry Cheesecake Ice Cream

Marvo 1 Comment

I just spent the past five minutes looking up the differences between New York Cheesecake and regular cheesecake. If you’re also as clueless as me, according to my quick research, the NY version is basically more dense and is so dense that it will make your stomach regret eating anything more than a small slice. Yes, there’s more to it than that, but we don’t have time to go down that rabbit hole because we’re here to discuss Häagen-Dazs’ new New York Strawberry Cheesecake Ice Cream, which is not as dense as a New York cheesecake.

Peel off the lid, and you’ll find cheesecake-flavored ice cream, strawberry sauce swirls, and spiced graham cracker crust pieces. Scrape off a layer or two, and what you’ll see looks like a strawberry syrup hurricane forming on top of the islands of Chewandswallow, Chompandgulp, and Devourandgorge.

The strawberry syrup isn’t goopy, which is surprising. Instead, it’s blended in with the base a little, which is the best way I can describe it. The base and swirls are combined in a way that ensures you’ll get both with every spoonful, no matter what angle your spoon attacks the container. When I scoop up both, it mostly tastes like strawberry ice cream, but there are rare times when it’s definitely cheesecake. I guess the tang from the cheesecake ice cream is at the same level as it would be for strawberry ice cream. That’s not a bad thing, but maybe cheesecake pieces should’ve been added to enhance the ice cream base’s flavor and, perhaps, add some denseness to the dessert.

As for the spiced graham cracker crust pieces, they go perfectly well with the fruity and tangy flavors. Their gritty texture and flavor probably do more to convince me this is a cheesecake-flavored ice cream instead of a strawberry one than the actual cheesecake-flavored ice cream. Plus, they are plentiful throughout the pint, um, I mean, 14 fluid ounce container, and some of the pieces were surprisingly crunchy.

Overall, Häagen-Dazs’ New York Strawberry Cheesecake Ice Cream is tasty but doesn’t blow my mind. Also, I question whether the “New York” in its name is necessary because it lacks something that brings to mind the denseness of the regional cheesecake, which separates it from others.

Purchased Price: $4.69
Size: 14 fl oz
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 300 calories, 20 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 90 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 24 grams of sugar (including 19 grams of added sugar), and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Big Cheez-It Crunchwrap Supreme

Marvo 7 Comments

During my 12-minute walk from home after picking up Taco Bell’s Big Cheez-It Crunchwrap Supreme, the only thought that kept crossing my mind was how soggy the colossus Cheez-It cracker would be by the time I got home and had a chance to eat it. Actually, that thought has been in my head since 2022, when the collaboration went viral after the internet learned the product was being tested at one location in California. A giant Cheez-It is cool and all, but does a cracker made from enriched flour have more resilience than a corn chip, which can withstand dips of every kind?

Well, I can now find out and fill the grey matter occupied by that thought with something more useful since the special Crunchwrap is now available for everyone to wrap their hands around and crunch into. The limited time offering features seasoned beef, nacho cheese sauce, lettuce, tomatoes, sour cream, and a Big Cheez-It Cracker, all wrapped in a grilled flour tortilla. The massive cracker, the standout feature, replaces the tostada shell in the original Crunchwrap Supreme.

How big is “big”? According to Taco Bell’s website, the giant Cheez-It is 16 times larger than a regular Cheez-It. It also claims it’s 16 times cheesier and 16 times crunchier. After trying it, I believe its size claims, but everything else, not so much.

I wondered if I received a regular Crunchwrap because that’s what it tasted like after the first bite. But after unwrapping it, I saw a corner of the cracker peeking out from under a mountain of toppings, so no social media complaining needed. With the next bite, I began to notice the sharp cheesiness of the Cheez-It, but it was too mild for my liking, and there was no crunch associated with it. I expected it to be the headlining act instead of a backup singer. Its flavor is perhaps less noticeable than the corn tostada in the regular Crunchwrap, which, no shade, can also maintain most of its crunchiness after 12-minute walks home. The Cheez-It’s cracker crunch never materialized except for a couple of bites. At closer inspection, most of it seemed pulverized after being exposed to the moisture and heat within the grilled flour tortilla. But again, it had to withstand being in the tortilla wrap for double-digit minutes. If you’re eating it seconds after it is handed to you, the crunch might still be there.

I can’t help but be disappointed with Taco Bell’s Big Cheez-It Crunchwrap Supreme. While the cracker is indeed 16 times larger than a regular Cheez-It, which is impressive, and the cheesy flavor is somewhat present, I couldn’t help but wish for a more pronounced cheesiness and a crunch that comes close to its 16-times claim. Heck, four times would’ve made it better.

Purchased Price: $5.49
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 470 calories, 17 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 1210 milligrams of sodium, 63 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar (including 2 grams of added sugar), and 15 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Doritos Flamin’ Hot Mystery Flavor

Marvo 1 Comment

Doritos Flamin’ Hot has a mystery flavor, but the original Flamin’ Hot seasoning has always been a mystery to me. Is it peppers, garlic powder, and Lucifer’s nail filings? Or is it Lucifer’s dry ear wax? I could read the ingredients list, but like IKEA instructions and stories with clickbait headlines that end with “…may kill you,” I’m not going to look at it. While I’ll never solve the mystery behind Flamin’ Hot, I think I’ve figured out this Walmart-exclusive mystery flavor.

While they look like they’ve been sprinkled with Lucifer’s dandruff and are more ominous than regular Flamin’ Hot, these chips don’t seem as spicy as regular Flamin’ Hot snacks. Oh, don’t get me wrong, these have a torrid temp that timid tongues will want to turn away from, but these are easier to eat, even though my head is sweating a little as I type this. I was concerned that the spicy seasoning would overwhelm whatever the mystery flavor was, but that’s not the case. When I opened the bag and sniffed, I had an idea of what it could be.

SPOILER ALERT: Turn away now if you want to avoid knowing my correct (or most likely incorrect) guess.

Along with the famous Flamin’ Hot spiciness, there’s a savoriness that instantly reminds me of chicken-flavored instant ramen, so I believe the mystery flavor is Spicy Chicken Instant Ramen or Spicy Chicken Cup Noodles.

Mystery solved.

(Dusting off Flamin’ Hot seasoning from my hands)

There’s also a noticeable sweetness that cuts through the spicy seasoning, which is perhaps why these don’t burn my mouth like regular Flamin’ Hot products do. But that sweet flavor sometimes causes my taste buds to wonder if they’re eating a spicy Thai curry, which I noticed more in the aftertaste. But I’m sticking with my original take as my final answer, Regis.

Because these Doritos Flamin’ Hot Mystery Flavor chips remind me of a spicy version of my favorite instant ramen variety and don’t punish my mouth with too much heat, I love them very much. I’m not sure if Doritos already revealed the mystery, but whatever it is, it’s surprisingly great, and I wouldn’t mind experiencing it again. In fact, I’d love to see Doritos introduce a new mystery flavor annually.

Purchased Price: More than one should pay on eBay
Size: 9 oz bag
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (about 11 chips) 140 calories, 7 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Powerade Sour Sports Drinks

Mark 2 Comments

Just in time for summer sweat season, Powerade has introduced three flavors in its new Sour line: Blue Razz, Watermelon Lime, and Green Apple.

Let’s get this out of the way first: we all know they should have called it Sourade.

Blue Razz is my favorite of the three. It reminds me of a blue Sour Patch Kid, but not as sour. At first, I was underwhelmed by the sourness. But after going on a six-mile evening run, I found that I couldn’t chug this drink because my mouth wanted to pucker just a little bit and savor the tartness. It’s not like a Warhead or Cry Baby bubble gum; rather, it has just enough of a punch to notice the sourness.

Watermelon Lime is the most confusing of the three. I have never heard of those fruits paired together before, yet it manages not to taste like either. Yes, I know that watermelon flavor doesn’t actually taste like watermelon, but I do know what watermelon candy tastes like. If I concentrate really hard, I can kind of taste watermelon candy, but not the lime. In a blind taste test, there is no way I would guess either of the flavors. It is also less sour than the others.

Green Apple has the same sour level as Blue Razz. It has a nice fake apple flavor. However, I love Gatorade Fierce Green Apple, and the Powerade just seems less, well, fierce. It’s not as flavorful, and I don’t think it’s any more sour.

I usually drink powdered Gatorade to replenish my electrolytes after a long, sweaty workout. Powerade Sour is not going to do anything to change that. But if you are even casually interested in Powerade, these flavors are worth a try.

Purchased Price: $0.88 each
Size: 28 fl oz bottles
Purchased at: Smith’s Marketplace
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Blue Razz), 5 out of 10 (Watermelon Lime), 6 out of 10 (Green Apple)
Nutrition Facts: (12 fl oz) 80 calories, 0 grams of fat, 250 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 21 grams of sugar including 21 grams of added sugar, and 0 grams of protein.