Category: Reviews

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Donut Holes

Marvo 2 Comments

Jack in the Box Donut Holes

One dollar gets you a four-piece order of Jack in the Box’s Donut Holes.

One dollar for fried dough showered with cinnamon sugar and served warm.

ONE DOLLAR, people!

They’re not just pocket change purchasable, they’re also truly wonderful, which I find surprising because I haven’t enjoyed Jack’s previous bite-sized desserts, like Mini Churros, Mini Cookies, and Brownie Bites.

The cinnamon sugar provides a little bit of crunch, and because they’re fried, the exterior has a slight crispiness to it. The interior is soft and fluffy.

Jack in the Box Donut Holes Innards

When I pull them out of the sleeve, they’re not completely coated in cinnamon sugar. I imagine a lot of it is at the bottom of the envelope they come in, but even with 50-60% coverage, they still have a bold sweet and cinnamon flavor that’s not overly sweet. There’s also a slight greasiness, but the sugary coating makes me forget about it. If you’ve had a cinnamon sugar donut before, you’ll have an idea of what these taste like. They aren’t breaking any new ground here.

But these taste slightly better than a lot of cinnamon sugar donuts I’ve had. Maybe because they’re served warm or maybe, and I don’t have any scientific data to back this up, they taste better because I spent only a dollar to obtain them. I think I should write a grant proposal to get funds so I can obtain that data. Any decent grant amount would get me a lot of data and, more importantly, a lot of Jack in the Box Donut Holes.

The only real issue I have with these is their shape. The stereotypical donut hole is spherical. Only one of the four in my order was like a donut planet. The other three were round, but they were a little flattened, making them look more like hash brown rounds or mini donuts without the holes in them. Yes, I just called them donut holes that look like mini donuts without holes.

Jack in the Box Donut Holes Waffle Lines

Oh, are you wondering what those marks are on them? It took me longer than I’d like to admit, but I realized they’re probably from the basket the donut holes were deep fried in. Any of our Jack in the Box-employed readers want to confirm this?

Overall, I love the texture and flavor of Jack in the Box’s Donut Holes. I’d happily spend another dollar to get another order to either eat by themselves, as a breakfast side dish, or as an edible garnish for a shake. They’re worth your time and your one dollar.

Purchased Price: $1.00
Size: 4-piece order
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (4 piece order) 200 calories, 13 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

REVIEW: KFC Cheetos Sandwich

Louis 9 Comments

KFC Cheetos Sandwich

I’m sure the culinary elite among us will be the first to loudly show their usual disdain for the junk food collision that is KFC’s latest inventive foodstuff, the rather tasty Cheetos Sandwich.

If they do, it really is a shame — mostly theirs — because this pile of fried chicken and cheesy doodles is practically every child’s dream dinner come to neon orange fruition.

My reasonably clean fingers were almost immediately coated in the fine Cheeto dust as I inspected the sandwich, its festive Chester Cheetah-designed box receiving two paws up for its lovingly creative branding; with the usually plump bun making for a truly inviting sandwich, errant Cheetos poked out of the sides, causing even the edges of the fried chicken to turn a bright orange hue.

KFC Cheetos Sandwich Mountain

While, as an aforementioned child, I used to absolutely love the use of the crunchy cheddar snack as a full-on sandwich accoutrement, usually to give the cheap ham or cheaper bologna my mother bought some semblance of direct flavor. But here, the fried chicken of the Crispy Colonel Sandwich is delightfully flavorful enough, the cheddar crunch of the added Cheetos is a well-proportioned riff on an already indelible menu item.

KFC Cheetos Sandwich Topless

But it’s the added flavor of the provocative Cheetos Sauce that is a perfectly zingy taste sensation that should replace those bland slices of that American cheese nonsense in most sandwiches and burgers across the country, starting right here, right now. The sauce — very much with the look and feel of somewhat wet macaroni and cheese powder, with the Cheetos taste, natch — keeps things perfectly crunchy and crispy, making sure it coats everything it touches.

While there is a buttery aftertaste of sorts, it’s not entirely unwelcome. As a matter of fact, my main fear with the Cheetos Sandwich was that, sure, it might be good for a couple of bites, but after a few minutes alone with it, a sort of cheesy fatigue would set in. This should have been the obvious example of too much of a good thing — and it truly is — but this is a good thing that, like sitting on the couch in front of the television and downing a full bag of Cheetos, you don’t get tired of it.

Yes, this is a “limited time only” thing, per usual, but I would like to see KFC expand on this, much like how Taco Bell has exploited its Doritos offerings. Maybe various flavors like a Chipotle Ranch or, Lord forbid, a Flaming Hot variation of a chicken sandwich? Or how about some Jalapeno Cheddar-infused potatoes wedges or, and here’s an idea you can have, KFC, a Mexican-style Cheetos elote.

But, Hell, to be fair, I would pay extra for a couple of packets of that crazy Cheetos sauce to liberally squeeze on my two-piece or, if I’m being grossly honest, to suck straight from like it was directly drained from Chester Cheetah’s nipples. I’m not that hard to please, guys.

Purchased Price: $4.79
Size: N/A
Rating: 9 out 10
Nutrition Facts: Currently not available.

REVIEW: Starbucks Iced Cocoa Cloud Macchiato

Heather 1 Comment

Starbucks Iced Cocoa Cloud Macchiato

What is the Starbucks Iced Cocoa Cloud Macchiato?

The newest of Starbucks’ cloud beverages (the “cloud” comes from the foam layer on top of the macchiato that contains egg whites for fluffiness), the Iced Cocoa Cloud Macchiato has espresso, milk and toffee nut syrup. It’s completed with both caramel and a mocha drizzle on top.

How is it?

I liked this drink, but I wouldn’t say I loved it. I’m a fan of the regular macchiatos, but I think the cloud foam on this one threw me off a bit. The amount of foam was pretty significant (I’d say more than the cold foam drinks, which I do really enjoy), so it made sipping it a challenge to balance the foam and the coffee portion. Slow and steady sips won the race. I thought the egg white powder would be weird, but I couldn’t taste it at all.

Starbucks Iced Cocoa Cloud Macchiato 2

What I did like was the marrying of the cocoa and caramel flavors. Coupled with the toffee nut syrup, there was a nice nutty flavor with a hint of chocolate. The coffee portion was my ideal coffee color – not too light and not too dark. I also enjoyed that it was not overly sweet, and was very light. It would make a good afternoon pick-me-up.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Much like the standard Starbucks macchiatos, be sure to let the foam layer and the espresso layer blend naturally in with the milk. I’m pretty sure mixing it is considered a coffee sin.

Conclusion:

I’ll order this again because I enjoyed the taste, but it won’t become a regular order. If you’re in need of something cool and refreshing on a hot summer day, definitely give it a go.

Purchased Price: $4.45
Size: Tall
Purchased at: Starbucks
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts:: (Tall) 220 calories, 6 grams of total fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 29 grams of total sugars, and 9 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Zero Gravity Blizzard

Denis 1 Comment

Dairy Queen Zero Gravity Blizzard

When I saunter into my local Dairy Queen and order a Blizzard, I do so because it tastes good and is the most efficient way to significantly exceed my recommended daily allowance of sugar and saturated fat. I don’t buy one because it’s pretty and will get me likes on Instagram. With many Blizzards featuring varying shades of brown with a mix of chunks, they don’t really match up with some of those made-for-social-media drinks at the place that sells overpriced coffee.

But the new Zero Gravity Blizzard — here for a limited time to celebrate the upcoming 50th anniversary of the July 20, 1969, moon landing — is a bit different.

For one thing, the name doesn’t even hint at its contents, unlike most Blizzard variations that pretty much give away the composition if you just ignore the superfluous superlatives, like outrageous or ultimate. This version offers Oreo cookie pieces mixed with cotton candy topping and vanilla soft serve, plus “space inspired iridescent blue and black swirls and galaxy sprinkles.” Even that description leaves some mystery, like what the heck is that whole last part? Well, it’s basically a lot of words and not a lot of taste.

I do have to give DQ credit for trying to up their game with this Blizzard and making an Instagram-worthy treat without going full Starbucks on us and using dragon fruit, passion fruit, or some other fruit that I’m not 100-percent certain really exists but don’t care enough to check.

Even so, this one is a bit of a letdown, starting with the name. In fact, Zero Gravity would be a good name for virtually any Blizzard variety except this one. We all know the standard presentation method for a Blizzard is a quick upside-down flip by the server, possibly followed by a smile and/or thank you (but those are optional). With the Zero Gravity, however, the DQ employee sheepishly explained that she was not going to turn it upside-down because “a lot of it would probably fall out.”

Huh? Does this even qualify as a Blizzard?

She hurried off before I had a chance to question this shocking revelation or inquire whether said Blizzard would be free because I vaguely remember that being the deal between the Queen of cow juice and her loyal subjects—that a Blizzard presented without the wrist-flip would be free.

Dairy Queen Zero Gravity Blizzard Tilt

So what did I do? Not wanting to fully test the power of gravity, I gave my “Zero Gravity” Blizzard a very slight and quick tilt. Gravity did indeed respond at a level well above zero and promptly sent some of my Blizzard on to the table of questionable cleanliness, as the photo attests.

Dairy Queen Zero Gravity Blizzard Blue

Dairy Queen Zero Gravity Blizzard Below

So what I had was an inaccurately named yet pretty spiffy-looking Blizzard. Now here’s the second letdown…it doesn’t taste that great. Sure, the mix of soft serve and Oreo is good, but the cotton candy flavor is very faint and hard to distinguish. The mysterious blue and black swirls have virtually no taste, and neither do the sprinkles; all that added was some shimmer and sparkle. Essentially what you have is a very colorful Oreo blizzard, which after you get past the top layer is considerably less colorful.

Dairy Queen Zero Gravity Blizzard Spoon

The Zero Gravity Blizzard is like one of those checks you get in the mail for some class action lawsuit about defective jelly beans in which you had no idea you were involved. You can tell from the envelope that it’s a check and perhaps get a little excited, until you open it and see that it’s for $1.21. An unexpected check like that is not bad, but it’s a bit disappointing and not what you had hoped for. Just like the Zero Gravity Blizzard.

Purchased Price: $4.29
Size: Small
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts:: (Small) 670 calories, 26 grams of fat, 14 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 gram of trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 300 milligrams of sodium, 98 grams of carbohydrates, -1 grams of dietary fiber*, 80 grams of sugar, and 13 grams of protein.

*It would seem to defy the laws of mathematics to have -1 grams of fiber, but that’s what it says on the DQ website and the Internet never lies.

REVIEW: General Mills Mermaid Cereal

Marvo 5 Comments

General Mills Mermaid Cereal

Last year, Kellogg’s trotted out a limited edition Unicorn Cereal. With unicorn off the board, the Big G didn’t want to be left out of the mythical creature cereal category, so here we are with Mermaid Cereal.

There’s no universal consensus to what unicorn products should taste like, but the same can’t be said about mermaid products. All brands that have come out with mermaid food products seem to agree that they should not taste fishy. According to the box, this cereal is naturally fruit flavored sweetened corn puffs with other natural flavors.

Two different pieces swim in the box — pink-colored stars and green-colored mermaid tails. I don’t know if I’ve watched The Little Mermaid, Splash, or the 18th episode of season two of Snorks, “The Littlest Mermaid,” too many times, but it’s a little unnerving to me to be eating mermaid tails. I can almost hear the underwater screams in my head with every chew.

General Mills Mermaid Cereal Closeup

The sizes of the pieces are a lot smaller than I thought they’d be. I know the image on the front of the box is enlarged to show detail, but it skewed my perception of how big they would be. They’re less puffier than most corn puff cereals that I’ve eaten before. I also thought, at first glance, the green pieces were marshmallows. As someone who loves cereal marshmallows, I’m a bit disappointed they’re not.

The flavor of the brightly colored pieces remind me of Trix, but more like Trix Lite, if that existed. So if you want to trick the Trix Rabbit, blindfold him, tell him you’re feeding him Trix, but feed him this. It’s fruity flavored, so he won’t know.

And if you’re super evil, when he takes off his blindfold, laugh like Kawhi Leonard in his face, show him it’s Mermaid Cereal, then say, “Silly rabbit! Trix are for kids!,” and then hand him a carrot.

Mermaid Cereal is an average fruity cereal. It tastes fine and stays crunchy in milk for a decent amount of time, but doesn’t leave behind a fruity milk. There’s nothing mythical, mysterious, or magical about it.

DISCLOSURE: I received a free sample of the product. Doing so did not influence my review in any way.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 11.4 oz. box
Purchased at: Received from General Mills
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup w/o milk) 150 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.