REVIEW: Simply Pop by Coca-Cola

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I’m not sure why I have a thing for prebiotic sodas like Olipop and Poppi. Maybe I feel guilty and would like to do something nice for my digestive system instead of letting just McDonald’s Meal Deals and Mountain Dew flow through it.

But I’m not the only one with “a thing” for the better-for-you beverages. The segment is growing fast enough that Big Soda wants to be a part of it. However, Pepsi and Coca-Cola have taken two different routes. Pepsi recently purchased Poppi, and Coca-Cola decided to develop its own prebiotic soda offering — Simply Pop.

Simply Pop differs from others by adding more fruit juice. While the bigs in the prebiotic soda game have juice levels between 4%-19%, all Simply Pop flavors go beyond that: Citrus Punch (30%), Fruit Punch (25%), Lime (28%), Pineapple Mango (26%), and Strawberry (29%).

However, despite the use of fruit juices and natural flavors, the best way I can describe them is to say they taste somewhere between the top prebiotic soda brands and flavored sparkling water, but closer to the latter. I’ve tried many Poppi and Olipop varieties, and if you enjoy the sweet fruitiness of those, the taste level of Coca-Cola’s offering will burst your carbonated bubbles. Simply put, despite what the cans say, these flavors simply don’t pop. Also, some of them aren’t very good.

Citrus Punch tastes like an underripe Cuties mandarin orange; Strawberry reminds me of biting into a soft, overripe strawberry; Fruit Punch is like drinking watered-down Kool-Aid; Pineapple Mango has a flavor like the liquid from canned diced pineapples in water; and Lime, the worst of the bunch, tastes like I’m biting into lime rinds. I didn’t enjoy any of them, and I’m unwilling to repurchase them for my tongue or gut. I’ll be sticking with Olipop and Poppi.

However, with that said, something I noticed about these is that it’s hard to tell they’re prebiotic sodas. Again, I don’t like how they taste. But with Poppi, the apple cider vinegar in them is noticeable, and with Olipop there’s something about them that makes them taste, well, healthy-ish. With Simply Pop, I don’t notice anything that could be considered healthy-ish; they just lack a strong flavor.

So what makes Simply Pop a better-for-you soda? They have no added sugars. Instead, whatever is in the juices and monk fruit extract sweetens them. However, their most significant health benefit is fiber content, which they get from soluble corn fiber. I thought the part of the vegetable that the fiber comes from was corn husks, but after going down a corn hole about rabbit fiber. I mean, a rabbit hole about corn fiber, I learned that it actually comes from the kernels. However, while every can provides an impressive 21% of your daily fiber, Olipop flavors have an even better 32%.

Overall, Simple Pop is simply not as tasty as what Olipop and Poppi offer.

Purchased Price: $2.50 each (on sale)
Size: 12-ounce cans
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) Citrus Punch 60 calories, 0 grams of fat, 25 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar (including 0 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein. Fruit Punch 50 calories, 0 grams of fat, 25 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 9 grams of sugar (including 0 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein. Lime 60 calories, 0 grams of fat, 25 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar (including 0 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein. Pineapple Mango 60 calories, 0 grams of fat, 25 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar (including 0 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein. Strawberry 60 calories, 0 grams of fat, 25 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar (including 0 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Crunchin’ Cookie Dipped Cone

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Last year, some lucky Dairy Queen test markets were treated to a “Cookie Monster” dipped cone, a very blue offering with crushed-up bits of chocolate cookies in the cone dip itself. According to Dairy Queen, this results in the ultimate cookies and cream taste and texture. This Spring, the colorful cone has gone nationwide, and the chain dropped the monster moniker, introducing it instead as the Crunchin’ Cookie Dipped Cone. Apparently, this dip is brought to us only by the letters D and Q and not affiliated with any muppet-populated street. It hasn’t needed any famous tie-ins to gain popularity though; it’s already made a splash, and viral hacks using the dip have made their way onto the menu. On a recent springlike day, I tried this cookie concoction to see if it was all it was crunched up to be.

As a former Dairy Queen employee, I was trained to take my cone-struction pretty seriously, and I’m always a little disappointed to get one that doesn’t look exactly like it should. In defense of whoever made mine, they didn’t do too bad. It was missing the classic curl and could maybe have used a few more seconds in the cone dip, but this doesn’t affect the flavor or the fact that this is an eye-catching ice cream. I had hardly ventured out the door when I crossed paths with an elementary school-aged kid who let out an audible “Woah!” at the sight of this thing.

It’s hard to be in anything but a good mood when you’re holding an ice cream cone, and it’s even harder when that cone is enveloped in a blue shell studded with cookie pieces. This cone is just pure fun. The chocolate cookie chunks are small, really small, so they’re not adding a whole lot to the texture but as with any dipped cone, you get a satisfying crunch from biting into it. Some parts of the shell come off in small pieces, and others separate themselves in much larger chunks, which is a nice contrast to the smooth ice cream interior.

Flavorwise, things are creamy and overall sweet like you’d expect. The cookie specks are mostly too small to bring real chocolate flavor to the party, but they still give off a cookies and cream vibe, more akin to a Hershey’s Cookies ‘N’ Creme bar than an Oreo cookie. If you’re looking to up your intake of both dip and cookies, you can try one of the hacks. The first blends Crunchin’ Cookie Dip into an Oreo Blizzard and serves it alongside a small additional cup of liquid Cookie Dip, and the second layers Crunchin’ Cookie Dip with Oreo pieces and soft serve, parfait style. Not all locations offer these options, but even if you can’t get your mitts on them, this cone in its original form is a tasty and joyful treat that won’t leave you, or your tongue, feeling blue.

Purchased Price: $5.09
Size: Small Cone
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 320 calories, 15 grams of total fat, 25 mg of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of total carbs, 31 grams of total sugars, and 6 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Orange Cream Shake

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I miss Wendy’s Orange Creamsicle Frosty. Even though it’s only been gone for a year, I’d braid Wendy’s hair for her if I could taste that creamy, delicious treat again. Heck, I’d revive Dave Thomas and have him do commercials again if I could order a cup of that citrusy and vanilla-y dessert. But I don’t have the power to bring back the dead or the finger dexterity to braid long hair.

Instead, I will have to settle for the new Dairy Queen Orange Cream Shake that features orange flavoring mixed into DQ’s vanilla soft serve and finished with whipped topping.

As I waited in line to order, I looked at the sparse Orange Julius branding at the Dairy Queen. I felt guilty for betraying it by coming to a Dairy Queen with the intention of ordering an orange-flavored treat, but it being a new shake and not the citrusy beverage with decades of history behind it. Et tu, Brutus? But if given the option between an Orange Julius and this Dairy Queen Orange Cream Shake, I’d stab the Orange Julius, I mean, I’d pick the soft serve dessert ten out of ten times.

Nothing about its flavor strays from what we think when it comes to “orange cream” treats. From the first sip, the only thing that came to mind was an Orange Creamsicle, the popular ice cream truck offering. It has the perfect balance of citrus and cream. While it doesn’t quite have the same feel as a Wendy’s Frosty, this had a pleasant thick, icy, and creamy texture. Its delicious taste made me forget about Wendy’s orangey Frosty. As for the whipped topping, it does nothing to enhance the “cream” flavor, but that’s fine because this shake is way better than fine.

I will miss Dairy Queen’s Orange Cream Shake when it disappears from the menu. And I imagine a year from now, I’m going to want to braid the Dairy Queen’s hair for her to get a taste of this creamy, delicious treat again. I’d attempt to revive the Dairy King if I could order this citrusy and vanilla-y dessert again. Maybe by then, I’ll have the power to bring back the dead or the finger dexterity to braid hair.

Purchased Price: $5.49
Size: Small
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 610 calories, 27 grams of fat, 14 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 81 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 73 grams of sugar, and 11 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Skinny Pop Harry Potter Butterbeer Popcorn

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Butterbeer, the fictional beverage from the world of Harry Potter, is having quite a comeback. I’m not sure if it’s in early preparation for the new HBO series (coming 2027) or if the snack-powers-that-be simply wanted the wizarding world to remain in the social zeitgeist, but Harry is back in the snack, big time. Mr. Potter’s Butterbeer has already had collaborative releases this year with Hershey’s Kisses, Keebler Fudge Stripes, and Goldfish, so if next in line isn’t going to be a new bizarro sweet and salty Lay’s, why not some Skinny Pop Popcorn?

I am not a wizard and have never been to the Wizarding World at Universal Studios to try the Butterbeer. However, I am a popcorn connoisseur and lover of butterscotch, so I went into this new fantasy-flavored kettle corn quite excitedly.

The aroma is distinctly that of sugary popped kettle corn with an extra rich burnt sugar flourish that mostly translates to the flavor as well. The taste of the popcorn is 70% that of the standard Skinny Pop “Sweet & Salty Kettle Corn” — corn-forward with a nice little boost of sweetness — but the other 30% is something magical. There’s a deep, toasty, brown-sugar-meets-browned-butter flavor that lands somewhere in between kettle corn and caramel corn. Occasionally, a kernel pops up that’s more coated and crunchy than the others, with an extra dose of buttery sweetness.

Speaking of crunchy, the texture is excellent. Every piece has a firm crunch, but a perfectly soft, airy crumble underneath makes the experience really pleasant. In the finish, there’s a touch of spice. The ingredients say cinnamon but I get a little more of a mild nutmeg. In any case that spiced quality helps contribute to the excellent burnt caramel profile. This is, without a doubt, my favorite unadorned bagged kettle corn I’ve had (not including drizzled varieties), and one that is very snackable without feeling cloying in the slightest.

Initially, despite how much I love the flavor, I thought this popcorn wasn’t quite sweet enough to be a proper butterscotch. But after a touch of proper research, I learned that in the Harry Potter books, Butterbeer is “a little bit like less-sickly butterscotch,” and you know what? I think they nailed it.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 8.4 ounces
Purchased at: Amazon
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2.5 cups, 28g) 140 calories, 7 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 25 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 8 grams of total sugars, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Burger King Steakhouse Bacon Whopper

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Burger King’s Steakhouse Bacon Whopper is not the chain’s first rodeo with A.1. Steak Sauce or including “Steakhouse” in a product’s name. I could look through this site’s archives and list all those instances, but instead, I’ll list something equally as extensive — the ingredients in this burger.

This limited-time offering features a 1/4 lb. flame-grilled beef patty topped with bacon, two tomato slices, lettuce, Swiss cheese, crispy onions, A.1. Sauce, and a creamy peppercorn aioli between a sesame seed bun. All those components created a hefty burger. In fact, when I received the bag that contained just the Whopper, I was surprised by how heavy it was. I almost dropped it in the drive-thru because I didn’t realize how firmly I needed to grip the bag.

Along with creating a weighty burger, all the elements of this Steakhouse Bacon Whopper result in something that tastes barbecue-esque. However, there were a few bites where the steak sauce’s flavor was noticeable. I guess the saucy equation of A.1. Sauce + peppercorn aioli = barbecue sauce. Even my wife thought there was some kind of barbecue sauce on this. Additionally, the crispy onions and bacon contributed to that BBQ flavor, which makes sense as onion rings and bacon are often featured on BBQ cheeseburgers.

While I understand the inclusion of A.1. Sauce because Kraft-Heinz probably has The King’s heir as a hostage or something like that, it’s a bit disappointing that the peppercorn aioli didn’t get to shine on its own because it’s a tasty peppery sauce. However, I wonder if it’s bold enough to carry an entire burger’s flavor. Maybe with the next “Steakhouse” Whopper?

The crispy onions provided a mild flavor with a satisfying crunch bolder than their taste. Lingering in the background were the bacon’s smokiness, the Swiss’ mild cheesiness, and the familiar flame-grilled flavor from the famous beef patty. The BK veggies did what they do best: add some texture and moisture to the mix. Although, the tomatoes also provided a bit of an acidic kick that cut through all the salty ingredients.

Overall, Burger King’s Steakhouse Bacon Whopper is a solid offering, especially for fans of “Western” barbecue cheeseburgers.

Purchased Price: $10.49*
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 890 calories, 53 grams of fat, 18 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 130 milligrams of cholesterol, 1750 milligrams of sodium, 66 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 16 grams of sugar, and 44 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.