REVIEW: KFC Mashed Potato Poppers

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When it comes to ubiquitous fast-food joints, there’s one place I always pass by, but… well, usually pass on, and that’s KFC.

I don’t know what it is. I like KFC. I grew up loving KFC, but I never crave KFC.

It just hasn’t done much to get me excited over the past decade plus. Its chicken sandwich was good enough, and I dug the little snack wraps that come and go, but outside of those, I can’t remember the last time I genuinely wanted KFC. Gimmicky Double Downs and wet nuggets didn’t excite me, but for some reason, the new Mashed Potato Poppers instantly grabbed my attention.

I’m a mark for any new potato product. I could sit here and explain all the preparations for potatoes I enjoy like a regular Benjamin Buford Blue, but we have word limits.

That said, potatoes are arguably the most versatile food on Earth, and it’s rare for something to hit the market that I’m unfamiliar with.

Mashed Potato Poppers are essentially what they sound like: clumps of mash fried into a crispy little ball. They exist somewhere between a tot and a croquette – at least, they should.

Calling these potato croquettes would be stolen valor, something ol’ Harland Sanders knows plenty about.

My poppers were anything but poppin’.

I expected a warm, crispy shell with a smooth mashed potato filling, but what I got was a crusty, bland fritter with an arid blotch of porous potato inside. Of the five in my order, I would say two were promising.

I see the vision. I think these are probably kinda good if eaten in the right occasion. Mine may have sat around a bit too long. I used the app on the way over to the restaurant (at a red light, relax) and didn’t arrive for another 3-5 minutes … which, come on, is not exactly a long time, but something tells me these actually “pop” if eaten immediately from the fryer.

When I think of KFC mashed potatoes, I think of powder mix. They might not prepare them that way, but I’m not even opposed. I have great nostalgia for KFC mashed potatoes. I expected these things to burst with a wet, goopy potato paste, but alas, mine were dry.

The poppers are served with a cup of gravy for dipping, and I’ll just say that gravy is trash. I had great memories of KFC gravy too, but this was just watery sewage runoff that absolutely did not enhance the poppers.

I’m willing to chalk my experience up to premature ordering, but I gotta score ‘em how I got ‘em. There’s no reason to ever get these over a fry or a wedge or even a side of mashed potatoes, but I still think you should try them on the off-chance I just got a bad batch.

I don’t think Mashed Potato Poppers are long for the menu, but I’d love to see the Colonel attempt some corn fritters in this style next.

Purchased Price: $3.00
Size: 5 Poppers
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (5 Poppers w/o gravy) 200 calories, 10 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 921 milligrams of sodium, 39 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Good & Gather Collabs Ann Kim Pickle Pie Pizza

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The box for this Good & Gather Collabs Ann Kim Pickle Pie Pizza says it’s a “Product of Italy.” I’m a little skeptical about that because, as a country known for its fine cuisine, I’m not sure a pickle pizza is something folks in Italy would be proud of. Sure, consume enough bottles of Sangiovese, and that pride might go out the window. However, this product has another P surprise — potato chips.

I’m not going to lie. The idea of a pickle and potato chip pizza sounds great. I did enjoy pickle-flavored ice cream, so I guess the chances of me enjoying this is not far-fetched. However, the pickles here are pretty poor. They don’t taste like the dill ones in a cheeseburger. Instead, they remind me of the pickled plum in the middle of my bento’s rice. Okay, 75 percent of you may not have experienced Japanese ume, but it’s the only way I can describe its sour flavor.

While the pickles mostly get lost in the ranch sauce, cheese, and potato chips, it’s still noticeable enough to bring down the bites with it. However, their flavor, thankfully, doesn’t get absorbed into the rest of the pizza, so simply removing them made things taste better. Without them, the combination of crust, potato chips, mozzarella cheese, and ranch sauce brings back tasty memories of dipping potato chips into French onion dip. I enjoyed the pizza at this point, and this really should’ve been the Good & Gather Collabs Ann Kim Potato Chip Pie Pizza.

While its flavor sans pickles was surprising, I was equally surprised about how pleasantly crispy the wood-fired crust’s exterior was at the ends.

However, what was 1,000,000 times more surprising than that was how crispy the potato chips were after being frozen and then heated on top of a layer of cheese and a sauce. They were like I pulled them straight out of the bag. How in food science did this happen? Is it because the instructions say to let the frozen pizza sit at room temperature for 15 minutes? Did the cheese’s oil deep fry the chips and revitalize their crispiness? Is this a “Product of Italy” because it’s the only country allowed to do this magic?

If you’re a dill pickle lover, this Good & Gather Collabs Ann Kim Pickle Pie won’t give you what your taste buds want. But if you’re willing to discard the pickles, you’ll still get a unique-tasting pizza thanks to the other P ingredient.

Purchased Price: $9.99
Size: 17.1 oz
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/4 pizza) 290 calories, 13 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 690 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 11 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Eggo Buttery Maple Ice Cream

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I’m happy to Leggo My Eggo Buttery Maple Ice Cream.

Not because it tastes terrible but because I like to share, and if I hold the container for too long, my fingers are bound to get frostbitten. Also, now that I think about it, if someone steals your fresh-out-of-the-toaster Eggo, just give it a few seconds, and I’m sure the thief will Leggo Your Eggo because their fingers are burning. Just stall them by reading this review out loud.

The bright yellow and red container contains brown butter-flavored ice cream, maple swirls, and maple-flavored fudge-coated waffle cone pieces. Note that there aren’t actual Eggo waffle pieces here, which makes sense since even well-done waffles become limp with a light dose of syrup and some time.

However, despite not having actual Eggo waffles, the ice cream as a whole does remind me of waffles and syrup. Please note that I’m not saying it tastes like maple syrup, which I’ve always thought is not as sweet as regular cheap pancake syrup. Also, it’s artificially flavored maple, which has always tasted like regular syrup to me.

The brown butter-flavored base has a mild taste, and I wish it stood out more. Tasting it on its own, which naturally happened several times since the swirls and waffle cone pieces weren’t everywhere, I felt its sweet butteriness could’ve been butter, I mean, better. It’s mild enough that it doesn’t come through when eaten with the sweeter swirls and cone pieces.

Speaking of this ice cream’s other components, the maple swirls provided most of the pancake syrup flavor. However, I would’ve liked more of the gooey ingredient throughout my container. But there were a good number of maple-flavored fudge-coated waffle cone pieces. While the fudge’s taste was somewhat similar to the swirls, the cone pieces inside were either as crunchy as cereal or disappointingly soft as a microwaved Eggo waffle.

While I did enjoy the flavor of this Eggo Buttery Maple Ice Cream, which did remind me of waffles and syrup, its mild-tasting base and the inconsistent crunch from the waffle cone pieces prevented it from being better.

Purchased Price: $6.99
Size: 14 fl oz container
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 220 calories, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 25 grams of sugar (including 21 grams of added sugar), and 3 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Funyuns Sour Cream & Funyuns

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Initially released in 1969, Funyuns remained entirely unchanged from its cornmeal and onion powder origins for over thirty years until several short limited runs like Wasabi and Chili & Limon surfaced during the 2000s. Now, the circular snack can be found with the original ’69 flavor profile, as well as Flamin’ Hot, Spicy Queso, and my favorite: Steakhouse Onion. Yet, over 50 years since the chips’ inception, we get possibly the most on-the-nose and least outside-the-box limited release in recent memory — Sour Cream & Funyuns.

While it may not be the most creative of concepts, I enjoy the simplicity of this idea. Oftentimes, new flavor twists, especially from other Frito Lay brands like Doritos, are meant to wallop you over the head with flavor, and this one aims to combine the onion with the onion in perfect seasoning-meets-form-factor harmony — and it works!

Sour cream and onion is one of the most popular potato chip seasoning choices, so it’s no surprise that it works really well on an onion-shaped circle of corn meal. Looking at the rings, you can tell immediately that these aren’t your grandma’s summer of love Funyuns. These have little green specs and an even more prominent funky flavor aroma than the original, and the simple mashup delivers delicious results.

The airy crunch is the same as always, starting with a sweet onion that then evolves into a bit of garlic and finishes with a legitimate sour cream tang. That tangy flavor absolutely stacks when eating more rings, and the sour bite lingers for a couple of minutes afterward. This is essentially 75% of the Funyuns you already love (or hate) with a touch more bite and a creamy finish, which, for me, is a subtle but effective improvement on the original.

While I may never love Funyuns in the way that I do Fritos, Doritos, Cheetos, or any other fried corn delight, Sour Cream & Funyuns constructs the ideal seasoning setup for this spherical snack to contend with the big boys of the Frito Lay brand.

Purchased Price: $2.69
Size: 2 oz bag
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (13 pieces, 28g) 130 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 150 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 0 grams of total sugars, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Simply Pop by Coca-Cola

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I’m not sure why I have a thing for prebiotic sodas like Olipop and Poppi. Maybe I feel guilty and would like to do something nice for my digestive system instead of letting just McDonald’s Meal Deals and Mountain Dew flow through it.

But I’m not the only one with “a thing” for the better-for-you beverages. The segment is growing fast enough that Big Soda wants to be a part of it. However, Pepsi and Coca-Cola have taken two different routes. Pepsi recently purchased Poppi, and Coca-Cola decided to develop its own prebiotic soda offering — Simply Pop.

Simply Pop differs from others by adding more fruit juice. While the bigs in the prebiotic soda game have juice levels between 4%-19%, all Simply Pop flavors go beyond that: Citrus Punch (30%), Fruit Punch (25%), Lime (28%), Pineapple Mango (26%), and Strawberry (29%).

However, despite the use of fruit juices and natural flavors, the best way I can describe them is to say they taste somewhere between the top prebiotic soda brands and flavored sparkling water, but closer to the latter. I’ve tried many Poppi and Olipop varieties, and if you enjoy the sweet fruitiness of those, the taste level of Coca-Cola’s offering will burst your carbonated bubbles. Simply put, despite what the cans say, these flavors simply don’t pop. Also, some of them aren’t very good.

Citrus Punch tastes like an underripe Cuties mandarin orange; Strawberry reminds me of biting into a soft, overripe strawberry; Fruit Punch is like drinking watered-down Kool-Aid; Pineapple Mango has a flavor like the liquid from canned diced pineapples in water; and Lime, the worst of the bunch, tastes like I’m biting into lime rinds. I didn’t enjoy any of them, and I’m unwilling to repurchase them for my tongue or gut. I’ll be sticking with Olipop and Poppi.

However, with that said, something I noticed about these is that it’s hard to tell they’re prebiotic sodas. Again, I don’t like how they taste. But with Poppi, the apple cider vinegar in them is noticeable, and with Olipop there’s something about them that makes them taste, well, healthy-ish. With Simply Pop, I don’t notice anything that could be considered healthy-ish; they just lack a strong flavor.

So what makes Simply Pop a better-for-you soda? They have no added sugars. Instead, whatever is in the juices and monk fruit extract sweetens them. However, their most significant health benefit is fiber content, which they get from soluble corn fiber. I thought the part of the vegetable that the fiber comes from was corn husks, but after going down a corn hole about rabbit fiber. I mean, a rabbit hole about corn fiber, I learned that it actually comes from the kernels. However, while every can provides an impressive 21% of your daily fiber, Olipop flavors have an even better 32%.

Overall, Simple Pop is simply not as tasty as what Olipop and Poppi offer.

Purchased Price: $2.50 each (on sale)
Size: 12-ounce cans
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) Citrus Punch 60 calories, 0 grams of fat, 25 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar (including 0 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein. Fruit Punch 50 calories, 0 grams of fat, 25 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 9 grams of sugar (including 0 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein. Lime 60 calories, 0 grams of fat, 25 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar (including 0 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein. Pineapple Mango 60 calories, 0 grams of fat, 25 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar (including 0 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein. Strawberry 60 calories, 0 grams of fat, 25 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar (including 0 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein.