Category: Reviews

REVIEW: Peanut Butter & Jelly M&M’s

Brandon 2 Comments

In my never-ending quest to be cool, I’m a “Full-sized-Candy-Bar-at-Halloween-Guy.” The thing about it is that I get approximately ten trick-or-treaters on an average Halloween. (15 in a real bustling year.) My neighborhood is mostly filled with extremely old people whose grandchildren are beyond trick-or-treating age. This means I end up with a whole bunch of full-sized candy bars. And while that sounds amazing, it really just means that I head into the Holiday Fattening Season carrying more weight than I wanted.

All this to say, I really didn’t want to like new Peanut Butter & Jelly M&M’s. I didn’t need to like them. Oh sure, I enjoy Peanut Butter M&M’s, but I was holding out hope that the inclusion of jelly would somehow render these inedible and disappointing.

I was wrong.

Peanut Butter & Jelly M&M’s aren’t far off from the Peanut Butter M&M’s you already know, but the addition of jelly is a welcome touch. (Though, I cannot, for the life of me, tell what KIND of jelly it is, so don’t ask.) Each M has the customary peanut butter/chocolate vibe, but then there’s just a pinch of fruity sweetness. The food scientists at Mars did a fine job of making sure the jelly wasn’t too light or too overwhelming, either one of which could’ve totally ruined the new variety.

It’s worth noting that M&M’s has been here before. In 2009, it introduced Strawberried Peanut Butter M&M’s, which is, frankly, a terrible name. But I believe these are probably about the same from a conceptual standpoint. (I didn’t have them in ’09, though, so I can’t vouch for their similarity/difference. But I mean, even if I had tried them 15 years ago, it’s extremely unlikely I would remember how they taste.)

One thing that is a little different about these M&M’s is that there are only red, dark brown, and light brown (Or gold? Off-yellow?) candies. So if you’re someone who’s really into the green or the blue M&M’s, my deepest condolences; you’re out of luck. But if you like the regular Peanut Butter M&M’s and don’t mind a drab color pallet when it comes to your bite-size chocolate candy choices, you’ll wanna check these out before they leave shelves. Or just wait for 2039 when they come back with another name.

Purchased Price: $4.78
Size: 8.6 oz. bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 oz.) 150 calories, 8 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, including 13 grams of added sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Decades Menu

Marvo 8 Comments

Despite being alive through most of the decades, I don’t believe I’ve ever had any of the products on Taco Bell’s new Decades menu. However, now that I think about it, I didn’t get my first taste of Taco Bell until the early 90s, and back then, I stuck to the cheaper tacos and burritos. But now my taste buds can go back in time and experience what they missed.

Gordita Supreme (1990s)

This pretty much takes the guts on a Taco Supreme—seasoned beef, reduced fat sour cream, tomatoes, cheese, and lettuce—and stuffs it in a Gordita flatbread. While the flatbread does a better job of keeping in its filling than a crunchy taco shell or flour tortilla, its thickness makes most bites too bready. All the typical Taco Supreme flavors—seasoned beef, sour cream, and tomatoes—are noticeable, but they all get muted by the puffy Gordita. I don’t plan on eating this again in any future decades.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 280 calories, 11 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 560 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar (including less than 1 gram of added sugar), 13 grams of protein.

Meximelt (1980s)

As you can see, my Meximelt was max-messy. That flour tortilla tried so hard to contain the seasoned beef, pico de gallo, and three cheese blend inside of it, but it was no match for the wet ingredients. Of course, your results may vary. To eat this without losing any of the filling, I had to wrap the soggy tortilla into a burrito.

Despite being a simple three-ingredient menu item, the Meximelt has a lot of flavor. I can imagine this is what a lettuce and sour cream-less Soft Taco Supreme tastes like. The lack of green leaves probably gives this more flavor than a Soft Taco Supreme, allowing the seasoned beef and pico de gallo to really stand out. Besides its messiness, my only other issue was the lack of cheesiness. However, this was my second favorite item on the Decades Menu.

I described this as a “simple three-ingredient menu item,” but it has a price that’s a bit expensive. If you want to experience a Meximelt, but for a cheaper price, just order a soft taco with no lettuce and add pico de gallo.

Purchased Price: $3.29
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 250 calories, 13 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 720 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar (including less than 1 gram of added sugar), 13 grams of protein.

Green Burrito (1970s)

The menu item born in the 70s features a flour tortilla stuffed with green sauce, refried beans, cheddar cheese, and onions. The emerald sauce has green chili, tomatillos, jalapeno peppers, and spices. If you’re like me and very familiar with Taco Bell’s regular Bean Burrito, you probably notice that this is similar, except the usual red sauce is swapped with a green one.

I don’t know if my taste buds are tired from eating the regular bean burrito so many times, but tasting the Green Burrito was a breath of fresh green air. I instantly thought this should be the default bean burrito for the next few decades, and it’s my favorite item on the Decades menu. The sauce gives the item a pleasant, peppery kick of flavor and a slight kick of heat. Also, it’s bolder than what the red sauce provides. With a regular bean burrito, the refried beans are most noticeable, but with this burrito, there is a better balance between the beans and the sauce.

However, I have an issue with its price. If it’s basically a regular bean burrito but with green sauce instead of red, why is it significantly more expensive? At my local Taco Bell, the difference is a dollar, and in other regions, it’s about 60 cents. Also, while messing around on the Taco Bell app, I found out I could order a regular bean burrito and customize it with green sauce for only 25 cents more. So, if you want to experience the Green Burrito, go that route.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 370 calories, 10 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 1040 milligrams of sodium, 55 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar (including 3 grams of added sugar), and 13 grams of protein.

Tostada (1960s)

The Decades Menu’s oldest and most colorful member is also the blandest of the bunch. Piled on top of a corn tostada is a layer of refried beans topped with red sauce, lettuce, and cheddar cheese. While the toppings are piled high, it really needs something else to make it not taste so blah.

Despite having a droopy amount of red sauce, its flavor doesn’t come into play when eating this. Maybe the lettuce side salad on top mutes all the other ingredients. The only positive I can say about this is the corn tostada’s sturdiness. It didn’t fall apart while eating it. But overall, I can taste why it disappeared.

Purchased Price: $2.69
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 170 calories, 7 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 420 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 6 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Shirley Temple 7UP

Marvo 8 Comments

7UP has given us a gift this holiday season. A brand spanking new limited edition flavor — Shirley Temple 7UP! Woo hoo! Santa finally read my letters. Opening doors for people and being a narc on folks who fart in elevators really paid off this year.

Wait a minute.

A pomegranate AND cherry flavored 7UP? There’s been a seasonal Pomegranate 7UP before, and Cherry 7UP has been around for decades. So this new Shirley Temple 7UP is just a combination of two previous varieties, making it a not-quite-a-brand-spanking-new limited edition flavor. Bah humbug!

It’s also available in a Zero Sugar version, and along with 12-packs, there’s a 2-liter version, so share this festive drink with your friends at your holiday party.

Full disclosure: I’ve never had a Shirley Temple. Call me sheltered. Call me unworldly. Call me Shirley. Or call me someone who has never purchased a bottle of grenadine. But I’ve never had an opportunity to try one. For those unfamiliar with the old-timey, non-alcoholic mixed drink, it combines lemon-lime soda or ginger ale with a splash of grenadine (a sweet syrup made from pomegranates) and is topped with a maraschino cherry. Yup, that sounds old-timey.

While my lips have never sipped on an actual Shirley Temple, I’ve consumed a few cans of 7UP’s attempts to honor the beverage named after someone some folks will have to Google, and it has put me in a festive mood. Shirley Temple 7UP is delicious. If I were to offer this to a Grinch, drinking it would make them smile.

But here’s the thing I find odd about this drink. Its flavor reminds me of an Orange Julius. If I think harder than I should when drinking a soda, I notice the cherry. But for the most part, I taste a mildly tart orange citrus flavor. Maybe my taste buds are broken? However, I’m not sure about that because they successfully determined this year’s Mountain Dew VooDEW Mystery Flavor.

But with that said, this Shirley Temple 7UP is a wonderful tasting soda and the most satisfying 7UP limited edition flavor I’ve had in a long time. It’s miles better than Pomegranate 7UP, which has attempted to be a holiday thing twice.

Does this have to leave? Can it stay around? Or at least, bring it back every holiday season, Keurig Dr Pepper. I’ll narc on more gassy folks in elevators if that happens.

Purchased Price: More than one should pay on eBay
Size: 12 fl oz cans
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 170 calories, 0 grams of fat, 40 milligrams of sodium, 46 grams of carbohydrates, 45 grams of sugar (including 45 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: DiGiorno Thanksgiving Pizza

Mark 1 Comment

It seems to me that in recent years, more food companies have been embracing Thanksgiving dinner as a collective meal to put in other foods. Sandwich shops have been offering turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sandwiches for a while. And this year, DiGiorno has pizza-fied the classic November meal!

DiGiorno’s version omits the stuffing, however, and combines turkey with the ingredients of a green bean casserole. The pizza features roast turkey, green beans, crispy onions, dried cranberries, and gravy. The non-Thanksgiving elements are mozzarella and cheddar cheese, all topped on a Detroit-style crust. Just bake for 23 minutes, and you have a warm meal ready.

Let’s start with the star of the show: the turkey. I was worried the turkey would be gristly or rubbery. But nope, it has a pleasant chew and flavor. It’s not quite what you pull out of the oven on Thanksgiving, but it’s close.

The green beans are fine. They’re slightly crispier than canned green beans. If you don’t like green beans, you will wish they weren’t there. For me, I could take them or leave them.

I don’t really notice the onion’s crispiness, but I can taste their presence. The savory flavor I associate with green bean casserole permeates the pie.

The dried cranberries impart a bit of sweetness to the otherwise ultra-umami dish. I’m glad cranberries got represented. But if you don’t like pineapple on pizza, maybe they’ll be too much for you. At least they’re tarter than pineapple.

The gravy has a nice texture, but there’s something about the seasonings in it that tastes a little odd to me. Not bad, just weird. Maybe my palate is just too unsophisticated. The oddness might also come from the crispy onions.

I’m picky about cheese, so I’m glad they opted for the tamer options of cheddar and mozzarella. That way, it can keep the feel and definition of pizza, even though it’s Thanksgiving, without being too tangy. And the crust might be the best part: soft, slightly chewy, just a little sweet.

I love to eat leftover pizza cold, and I’m happy to report that DiGiorno Thanksgiving Pizza is at least as good cold as it is heated.

I’m really happy this pizza exists. Your family will be mad if you serve it instead of an actual Thanksgiving meal (and it would break the bank to serve a crowd), but it’s a fun product to eat on a random cozy November night or bring to a Friendsgiving. It’s only available at Kroger-affiliated stores, but I hope it will expand to other retailers in the future.

Purchased Price: $9.99
Size: 20.6 oz box
Purchased at: Smith’s Marketplace
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/4 pizza) 400 calories, 21 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 480 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 5 grams of total sugars including 3 grams of added sugars, and 12 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Baskin-Robbins Brie My Guest Ice Cream

Marvo 2 Comments

Baskin-Robbins’ Flavor of the Month for November 2024 is Brie My Guest. It’s a cheeseboard-inspired flavor that features brie and burrata ice creams, almond slivers, pistachio pieces, and apricot swirls. I was a bit saddened it wasn’t a charcuterie board-inspired flavor, but there’s always future Flavors of the Month.

Pardon my lack of cheese knowledge, but I’d never heard of burrata before having this ice cream. It sounds more like a Taco Bell mad food scientist abomination, but it’s a semisoft Italian cheese made from mozzarella and cream. Thankfully, I know and have had brie before.

The cheese-flavored ice creams give this a cheesecake-like vibe. There’s some savoriness, but thankfully, it doesn’t go too far that it gets weird, like Van Leeuwen’s pizza flavor. The sugar and cream are doing their job of helping balance the savory with sweetness. I thought the flavors would be a little odd, but they were surprisingly tasty. They also paired nicely with the apricot swirls, which added a pleasant fruity tartness. My favorite spoonfuls were those with just the bases and the swirl.

Disrupting my enjoyment of the sweet, cheesy bases were the almond pieces, which provided a slightly crunchy texture but also a bit too much nuttiness that gets in the way of the ice creams. Maybe they should’ve been chopped a bit more instead of slivers? But I had a much better experience with the smaller pistachio pieces, which provided enough of their flavor that they let the headliners shine but also contributed some of their nuttiness.

The idea of eating brie and burrata-flavored ice creams may seem weird, but I enjoyed it and would’ve like it more if it weren’t for those almonds.

Purchased Price: $4.39
Size: Single scoop
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 260 calories, 13 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 25 grams of sugar (including 18 grams of added sugar), and 5 grams of protein.