Category: Reviews

REVIEW: Sparkling Ice Starburst Flavors

Brandon 7 Comments

Who among us hasn’t been sitting around eating a fistful of Starburst when the thought suddenly occurred — “This candy is great and all, but what I’d really like to be doing is drinking it”? Well, friends, the good people at Sparkling Ice have read your mind (don’t ask why they were there to begin with; you don’t want to know) and are here with a solution: new Starburst-flavored Sparkling Ice.

If you don’t know Sparkling Ice, it is the primary product offering from Washington State’s Talking Rain beverage company, which started in 1987 and had roughly $500 million in retail sales in 2019. (I couldn’t find more recent sales figures; its website DOES have an extensive FAQ section, however, with real think pieces like, “Why did strawberry kiwi turn pink?” “Is the color safe?” “Is Sparkling Ice vegan?” and “Is it normal to have sediment floating in my Sparkling Ice?”)

And if you don’t know Starburst… that’s just weird.

So, does the low-calorie drink accurately capture its chewy sugar cube inspiration? As an avid fan of regular Sparkling Ice products, I was eager to find out.

Orange

This was the first one I had, and it was the worst. The taste was somewhere between “citrus aspirin” and an orange-Flintstone vitamin that’d been dusted with a heaping of artificial sweetener. The very first part of the drink made me go, “Hey, this tastes like an orange Starburst,” but everything after made me want to rinse my mouth out with paint thinner. Here’s the deal with artificial sweetener — I have no issue with it. Regular Sparkling Ice has it, and I’m a staunchly Zero/Diet guy when it comes to soda. But this was SO bad that it reminded me of being young and first trying Diet Coke, back when it just tasted like poison to a palate honed on only the finest real sugar cane (or, you know, high fructose corn syrup). In any case, I had no desire to drink more than two sips of this.

Lemon

Though my first thought when I poured this one into the glass was, “Welp, this looks a little like urine,” I had it immediately after Orange, so, you know, there was nowhere to go but up. It managed to taste like its namesake flavor all the way through and had a fraction of the Sucralose taste, which earned it a second-place finish overall.

Cherry

It tasted like a cherry Starburst, but it also managed to fall somewhere in the middle of the prior two in terms of the artificial sweetener taste. I also caught subtle cough syrup notes, which didn’t help my enjoyment. (Come to think of it, the actual cherry Starbursts sort of have that medicinal taste, too. So they really nailed the flavor on this one.)

Strawberry

Everyone knows that the pink Starburst is the best Starburst, case closed. (Out of the original flavors, that is. Tropical and Baja varieties really muck up the overall rankings with their deliciousness.) This, too, was the best Starburst Sparkling Ice. It captured the candy’s essence well but was once again marred by the sweetener. While it didn’t reach Orange levels of intolerability, it was still more noticeable than the Lemon kind.

In the end, I was surprised by how much I disliked these. The heavy application of Sucralose kept them from being anything I’d feel the need to purchase again. I’ll stick with regular Sparkling Ices and pilfer the Starburst two-packs from my daughter’s Halloween candy.

Purchased Price: $1.19 (each)
Size: 17 oz bottles
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 1 out of 10 (Orange), 3 out of 10 (Lemon), 4 out of 10 (Cherry), 5 out of 10 (Strawberry)
Nutrition Facts: (1 bottle) 5 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 0 milligrams of sodium, 0grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 0 grams of total sugars, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Wendy’s Cinnabon Pull-Apart

Jenna 11 Comments

Okay, let’s play a word association game. Ready? When you say Wendy’s, I say… Cinnabon! What, you don’t understand why Cinnabon would be associated with Wendy’s? I don’t really get it either, but nonetheless, these two fast food giants are collaborating on a new treat that can only be found on Wendy’s breakfast menu, the Cinnabon Pull-Apart.

As the “Pull-Apart” in the name suggests, this isn’t one big treat like the rolls Cinnabon is best known for; instead, it’s a monkey bread-esque cluster of smaller dough nuggets clumped together, which you eat by simply breaking off each bite-size component.

Or that’s how it’s supposed to work anyway, but I didn’t find the experience quite so seamless. My piping hot Pull-Apart was actually pretty hard, so liberating the chunks required way more effort than was probably intended. I guess that’s why it’s not called the Cinnabon Gently-Fall-Apart (and I guess that’s also why a fork comes with it), but I do think it’s fair that I expected my fast food breakfast to be a little more convenient to consume.

The huge glob of congealed cream cheese frosting on top didn’t help with that either; the archetypical Cinnabon frosting is way more liquidy, so it doesn’t impede your mouthful, but this solid glob was so ginormous that the only way to even get to the Cinnabon bits seemed to be either eating the whole frosting blob in a couple big bites (no thank you) or expending yet more effort to attempt to distribute it more evenly, a graceless task as its thick consistency wasn’t exactly spreadable.

By this point in the review, my frustration with this dish is surely apparent, but you might still be hoping that it ended up tasting amazing enough to be worth all the hassle. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I’ll have to go ahead and dash that hope.

Apparently, my Pull-Apart’s reluctance to do its first job, pulling apart, was a signal that it would also fail at its second job, tasting good. The first sentiment that came to my mind after managing my first mouthful was “dry” (actually, it was more like “dry, dry, dry, dry, dry”; I didn’t love or even really like the cream cheese frosting and its too-tangy sickly sweetness, but I was at least grateful it made me feel a little less like I was eating sand). The second sentiment that came to my mind was “yeasty.” The very distant third — like, this afterthought didn’t occur to me until maybe a full minute after my first bite — was, “I guess there was a whisper of cinnamon in there too.” There’s, of course, a handy visual cue for which bites of this ‘bon will be more flavorful — the dark cinnamon swirls are slightly softer and sweeter than the rest of the stiff, bland dough — but even they’re lackluster.

Granted, if you’re a diehard Cinna-fan you might find more to enjoy than I did, but if you’re on the fence about whether to try this, trust me that it’s not worth waffling over. In fact, I think a waffle would be a much better way to get your sweet breakfast fix.

Purchased Price: $3.69
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 550 calories, 26 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 440 milligrams of sodium, 70 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 30 grams of sugar, and 8 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Confetti Cake Dipped Cone

Julie 2 Comments

A major cornerstone of my life philosophy: I must sprinkle my week with the joy of little treats when I can. What better way to sprinkle joy than with edible confetti?

Dairy Queen agrees with me, and its newest release proves it. The Confetti Cake Dipped Cone is the latest offering in Dairy Queen’s springtime tradition of releasing limited edition dipped cones. Past flavors have included Churro, Fruity Blast, Orange Dreamsicle, and Cotton Candy.

No offense to the past flavors, but Confetti Cake is the perfect flavor for everyday celebrations. Combining butter, sugar, vanilla, and sprinkles, the flavor exemplifies all things sweet, indulgent, and colorful. Unlike its cousin, Birthday Cake, Confetti Cake is not occasion-specific, so you do not need to worry about popped balloons or the crushing weight of how quickly time passes.

I ordered a medium cone and had to take a moment to admire the beauty of the thing. Topped with Dairy Queen’s signature curl, the curvy mounds of vanilla soft serve were generously coated with the confetti cake shell. The shell’s crisp white base, decorated with rainbow flecks, perfectly represented confetti cake. Somehow, the colorful speckles didn’t muddy the white base or add any texture to disturb the absolute smoothness of the dip. The result was so pretty that I need an artist and/or scientist to dismiss my accusations of soft serve sorcery. Maybe Steven H., who made my cone, just knows what the hell he’s doing.

Texturally, the coating was perfect, cracking satisfyingly with each bite before melting away into creamy smoothness. Its flavor, however, was disappointingly one-note. I expected white chocolate or vanilla to flavor the base, but all I could taste was a combination of butter and almond extracts. While the shell was sweet, the perfume-y, artificial quality of the extracts threw off the flavor balance for me.

I almost completely stripped the shell from the cone before I realized what the taste reminded me of. Once, I made homemade buttercream frosting using powdered sugar that was over a year past its best-by date. (This was an accident, of course, not some cruel birthday prank.) The end product was creamy and rich but tasted off, like butter held together by the memory of something sweet. My neglectful baking fail was a much worse offense than the Confetti Cake Dipped Cone, but both experiences ended in disappointment.

When eaten with soft serve, the confetti shell’s flavor was mostly overwhelmed by the ice cream’s coldness. In my eyes, Dairy Queen’s vanilla soft serve is literal perfection, a sweet and creamy dream in any form, so I couldn’t be mad about having that cone in my paw. While the shell itself would rate around 4 out of 10, the ice cream bumped my overall rating up to a squarely-average 5. Colorful sprinkles can brighten up any occasion, but for the Confetti Cake Dipped Cone, it’s what’s on the inside that counts.

Purchased Price: $3.89
Size: Medium
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 470 calories, 23 grams of fat, 19 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 57 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 43 grams of sugar, and 8 grams of protein

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Churro Signature Latte

Erin 1 Comment

At some point in the last few years, we must have run out of cookies, cakes, and pies to try to mimic the flavor of, and the wandering eye of some product developer landed on churros as the next great flavor to reproduce in a different format. Churros are delicious! Surely, this will work!

Who could blame someone for trying to capture that magic in another form, and who could blame the next 200 companies who decided they needed to try their hand at it too? Me, apparently. The spring menu at Dunkin’ is leaning heavily into the churro trend, and the newest Signature Latte tries to capture the essence of the cinnamon and sugar-dusted fried pastry in a cup of coffee. The Churro Signature Latte is made from espresso, milk, and churro syrup topped with whipped cream, caramel drizzle, and a sprinkle of cinnamon sugar.

It’s good! I like this drink! It’s smooth, creamy, and perfectly sweet without being too sweet. So what’s the problem? It doesn’t remotely remind me of a churro. We’ve already seen the likes of Ben & Jerry’s, Kit Kat, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch try and fail to crack the churro code, and Dunkin’s attempt might be the weakest of them all.

When I see something churro-flavored, I now assume it will be heavy on the cinnamon/sugar aspect because the taste and texture of fried dough are much more challenging to replicate in anything that isn’t actually fried dough. This latte misses the mark on capturing any pastry taste, and it somehow misses out on cinnamon too. The churro syrup doesn’t seem to contribute anything besides sweetness. If there’s supposed to be something more complex there, it’s so subtle that I’m unable to pick up on it and the cinnamon, even if I get a swoop of whipped cream flecked with it, is barely noticeable. While I find this extremely drinkable, nothing distinguishes it from a dressed-up latte you could get any time, anywhere.

I can’t say I’m disappointed in this drink because my expectations that it could capture the spirit of a churro were pretty low, and it’s a tasty beverage. In terms of a limited time offering though, it feels lazy and like the “churro” label is there just to capitalize on a fad. You wouldn’t sprinkle oregano on a stick and call it an Italian sub so why is it acceptable to add a pinch of cinnamon to something and call it churro? I wouldn’t discourage anyone from ordering it, but I think there’s an element of beating a dead dessert craze here. Can we let churros just be churros and go back to stuffing them in our mouths instead of half-heartedly cramming them into every other foodstuff? I’d consider ordering this again if I’m in the mood for a whipped cream-topped latte but I’m confident that long after the churro syrup is gone, Dunkin’ will still be able to make me this same drink.

Purchased Price: $5.29
Size: Medium
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 350 calories, 13 grams of total fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 49 grams of total carbs, 0 gram of dietary fiber, 43 grams of total sugar, and 9 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Starbucks Iced Lavender Oatmilk Latte

Holly 3 Comments

Floral flavoring in beverages is one of my weaknesses. When done correctly, floral drinks strike a perfect balance between the sweet and perfumey. That balance can be hard to find, and if you aren’t careful, you can end up with something that tastes like cheap body spray. My first floral-flavored beverage was a rose bubble milk tea, and it was an indescribably delicious experience. I’ve been hooked on just about any kind of botanically infused drink since, but coffee/espresso flavored with lavender is my absolute favorite. I’ve had a wide range of lavender lattes and was excited to see how Starbucks’ Iced Lavender Oatmilk Latte would measure up.

It’s the chain’s first time ever using lavender as a flavor. I was surprised it’s taken Starbucks this long, as it’s been a fairly popular option in smaller coffee shops for a few years. My worry was that Starbucks would go with the overly sweet, flavored syrup option when crafting the drinks. Thankfully, it didn’t.

Instead, lavender powder is used, which gives the beverage a bright, floral taste without much added sweetness. The standard version of the drink comes with Blonde Espresso Roast and oatmilk. The former is a great drink base, as its lighter flavor works with the lavender, not against it. The creamy oatmilk is like the rug that brings the whole room together: without it, the drink would be okay but not have the same balance. Overall, this was easily one of the (if not the best) lavender lattes I’ve had in a long time.

The drink’s simplicity (lavender powder, espresso, oatmilk) seems like a departure from Starbucks’ last few seasonal drops. Multi-ingredient menu items with longer preps have become more commonplace at the coffee chain. The Starbucks Iced Lavender Oatmilk Latte reminds us that a basic coffee beverage can have complex flavors. It excels in its goal of being a light Spring drink to transition customers away from the heavier winter beverages. I know it’s a limited time offering, but I’m crossing my fingers this might be a more permanent addition or at least return annually.

Purchased Price: $6.05
Size: Grande
Rating: 10 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 210 calories, 7 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 19 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, and 170 milligrams of caffeine.