Reviews – Page 526 – The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Limited Edition Frosted Chocolatey Strawberry Pop-Tarts

Margaret / January 22, 2015 / Reviews / 3 Comments

January.

The month of Gore-Tex.

The 31 sun-deprived days of fleece, down comforters, knee-length socks, and long underwear pulled up so high, not even Grandpa Joe could compete with your mid-weight, merino-wool-studded rump.

So it goes that, when in my apartment, I turn on as many other easy-to-use electronic devices to generate heat, and, because I can’t leave the door of my microwave open (radiation or something), I find as many excuses as possible to use my toaster (Toast! Bagels! Waffles! Uh…more toast? Yes! More toast!). It was in this state of mind that I picked up these toaster pastries.

And they suit my toaster just fine.

After toasting on medium, the crust is crisp and crackling, breaking with a respectable few crumbs post-toast. Nipping at a corner edge, the chocolate crust seems weaker than usual, tasting more of stale graham crackers and burnt charcoal than chocolate. Fortunately, the frosting, with its milk-chocolatey, candy-like crunch, does its best to pick up the pace a little, and… hey! Sprinkles!

Sprinkles have the unique ability to make me feel I can do anything. Truly. Nothing makes me want to go out and self-engineer a robotic crane without an engineering degree more than sprinkles.

But back to the taste. The inside jam is gooey, if a bit thin to my unrealistic, excess-demanding American brain. The strawberry flavor is pronounced, sugary and a bit flowery. It may be a little flat or sweet for those who like non-hypoglycemic-inducing jams, but, if taste is any indication, the pastries are delighted to have their hyper-sweet, summery strawberry bellies. Can you blame them? Strawberry bellies are the bomb.

You know that scene in Back to the Future II where Doc dumps banana peels and beer into the DeLorean’s Mr. Fusion Home Energy Reactor before it rockets away? That’s what Pop-Tarts does. They take an amalgam of ingredients (some of which other companies might consider “trash”), combine those ingredients together, and voila. Something respectable, sometimes even downright brilliant, is born.

For me, these weren’t downright brilliant, but respectable? You bet. Sure, the crust may have tasted a little like burnt crackers and maybe the chocolate was weak, but they’ve got a decent amount of gooey strawberry filling, they provide a warm vehicle for an especially frigid January, and, friends, sprinkles.

Just. Sprinkles.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pastry – 190 calories, 35 calories from fat, 4 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 37 grams of carbohydrates, <1 gram of dietary fiber, 17 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Kellogg’s Limited Edition Frosted Chocolatey Strawberry Pop-Tarts
Purchased Price: $1.98
Size: 8 pastries/box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Candy chocolatey shell. Sprinkles. Gooey insides. Strawberry bellies. Reasons to use your toaster. May inspire spontaneous engineering feats. The DeLorean.
Cons: Low chocolate levels. Thin-ish filling. Crust tastes a bit of stale cracker meal. Insides may be too sweet for some. All those layers of wool socks. Not having an engineering degree when you need one.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Raisin Bran with Cranberries Cereal

Marvo / January 20, 2015 / Reviews / 13 Comments

You probably have a lot of questions about Kellogg’s Raisin Bran with Cranberries Cereal.

Does it come with two scoop of dried cranberries? Or are two scoops of cranberries and two scoops of raisins dumped into each box? Or does it contain one scoop of raisins and one scoop of dried cranberries? Does Mr. Sun on the box realize that his extinction means the extinction of the entire galaxy? Also, if he doesn’t realize it, would he still smile if he did?

I can answer most those questions.

Kellogg’s Raisin Bran with Cranberries Cereal has a scoop of raisins and a scoop of dried cranberries. Also, yes.

I wonder why it’s taken so long for Kellogg’s to combine dried cranberries with their bran flakes. I thought they would’ve done it soon after the word “Craisins” came into our snacking vernacular thanks to Ocean Spray. Actually, I didn’t expect them to end up in a new Raisin Bran variety. I thought they would have their own line called Kellogg’s Cran Bran.

If you love dried cranberries and have Costco-sized bags of Ocean Spray Craisins in every room in your house, including your bathroom and S&M chamber, then this cereal will disappoint. Because, after going through the entire box, I think it smells and tastes like good ol’ regular Raisin Bran.

While eating my first bowl, I thought I might’ve gotten a bad box with nothing but raisins. All the shrived fruit looks the same at arms length in an poorly lit S&M chamber. But a closer inspection with better lighting revealed the reddish dried cranberries, and it looked like there was an equal amount of both fruits. However, the dried cranberries sans milk and bran flakes, didn’t have much flavor or tartness.

So if the cranberries don’t offer any flavor, what do they offer?

I also have an answer for that.

Cranberries are a good source of vitamin E, an antioxidant that regular Kellogg’s Raisin Bran doesn’t have. A serving of Kellogg’s Raisin Bran with Cranberries Cereal has 25 percent of your daily recommended intake. So if you want those damn free radicals to get off your damn lawn, this cereal will help.

Overall, if you enjoy Kellogg’s Raisin Bran, need more vitamin E in your diet, and don’t mind that the bran flakes get soggy quicker than a sponge in the rain, then you’ll enjoy Kellogg’s Raisin Bran with Cranberries.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 1/4 cup – 200 calories, 10 calories from fat, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 210 milligrams of potassium, 50 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 18 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamin and minerals.)

Item: Kellogg’s Raisin Bran with Cranberries Cereal
Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 13.5 oz. box
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: If you like Kellogg’s Raisin Bran, this will taste the same. Good source of vitamin E. Appears to have an equal amount of raisins and dried cranberries in every box. Cran Bran has a nice ring to it. Two scoops!
Cons: If you like Kellogg’s Raisin Bran, this will taste the same. Cranberries don’t have much flavor or tartness. Not as much potassium and fiber as regular Kellogg’s Raisin Bran. Soggy bran flakes.

REVIEW: Pepsi Pink (Japan)

Marvo / January 14, 2015 / Reviews / 3 Comments

When I think of pink, the first three things that come to my mind are Hello Kitty, pink lemonade, and the backsides of casual Victoria’s Secret clothing.

The fourth thing that comes to mind is Pepsi Pink from Japan. For most people, the fourth thing would probably be flamingos, roses, the My Little Pony Pinkie Pie, the singer Pink, breast cancer awareness, Pink Floyd, pigs, the Powerpuff Girl Blossom, Valentine’s Day, tongues, the Pink Power Ranger, or raw meat.

But for me it’s Pepsi Pink because, when it originally came out in 2011, I didn’t spend the $12 or so at an online Japanese snack store to have a bottle shipped to me, making it one of the few Pepsi flavors from Japan I haven’t tried. I guess you could say it’s my pink whale.

With its color and the fact that Japanese snack companies are known for coming up with weird flavors, you might think Pepsi Pink has an unusual flavor, like roses, pigs, or raw meat. Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you kreatophagists out there, Pepsi Pink is strawberry milk flavored.

It has an sickly sweet strawberry aroma that’s also slightly floral. It’s what I imagine the Care Bear’s Care-a-lot smells like. The strawberry flavor is a hyper-sweet, artificial version of strawberry. They kind of taste like the strawberry bon bons hard candy that are seen only around Halloween.

The back end of each sip is a bit more interesting because that’s where the “milk” flavor kicks in. Its sweetness and flavor makes it taste more like artificial cream than artificial milk. Also, the milkiness reminds me of another Japanese drink I’ve had. It might be Calpis, but I’m not 100 percent sure.

As for its cola flavor, even though the word “cola” is printed in big letters on the bottle, there isn’t any.

Pepsi Pink is okay, but I couldn’t drink the entire bottle in one sitting. I could only take its sweet and artificial flavor in small doses.

I’m glad I finally conquered my pink whale, but, much like most Japanese Pepsi flavors I’ve tried, I don’t have the urge to buy more.

(Nutrition Facts – 100 ml – 47 kcal, 0 grams of fat, 15 milligrams of sodium, 11.8 grams of carbohydrates, and 0 grams of protein.)

Item: Pepsi Pink (Japan)
Purchased Price: $3.50 (plus shipping)
Size: 490 ml
Purchased at: J-List
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Strawberry flavor reminds me of strawberry bon bon. Milky flavor reminds me of Calpis (I think). Finally conquering my pink whale. Not raw meat flavored.
Cons: Only available in Japan. No cola flavor. I could only take its sweetness and artificialness in small doses. Slight floralness isn’t for everyone.

Japan Pepsi Soda

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Limited Edition Eggo Seasons Confetti Waffles

Trevor / January 13, 2015 / Reviews / 6 Comments

I have to admit it took me a minute to figure out why confetti was considered an Eggo Seasons flavor. I thought maybe there are some places where the snow is multi-colored, and it’s in celebration of winter? Then I wondered if maybe the waffles were hinting at party season?

But I realized that, as much as I like to think it may one day happen, snow will always be white, and party season is a year-round thing. It finally hit me that Eggo Seasons Confetti Waffles are in celebration of the New Year. DUH! Gosh, I can be real a tool sometimes.

After Cincinnati Bengals running back Jeremy Hill ran me and my brother to a fantasy football championship and prize money that would make Bill Gates jealous ($400 each), the reasons to celebrate were aplenty. So with that said, screw the New Year, I got these waffles to celebrate fantasy football pride, being better than my friends, and, of course, money.

Unfortunately, the party ends there, as the waffles themselves really weren’t worth celebrating. Now that doesn’t mean they’re bad, it just means they aren’t as flashy as the colorful confetti specks make them out to be, at least in terms of flavor.

Hopeful for the ever awesome Pillsbury Funfetti flavor, my hopes were dashed just a few bites into my first waffle. There is a little bitty, teeny tiny, super duper small hint of Funfetti flavor to the toaster waffles. Like, maybe 9/100ths of the taste is Funfetti. There isn’t any noticeable texture to the confetti. It just seems to be a dye, which could explain the lack of flavor with the confetti.

Disappointed, I tried a few different methods to see if I could find these waffles’ sweet spot. I had one with maple syrup, one with butter, and one with both.

When you add anything to the waffle, that tiny inkling of extra flavor disappears faster than that one person at every New Year’s party who gets too drunk too fast, only to disappear into some random bathroom in the house to throw up, pass out and not be seen again until the next day. Then everybody is like, “Hey, where’s Jeff?” And you all take a quick look around the room before shrugging the thought of Jeff’s presence off and resuming your horribly orchestrated group dance to Edai 600’s “Koopa Bitch.”

The waffles aren’t all bad though. They still have that classic Eggo taste we all love. Well, at least those of us with souls, meaning that dressing them up with syrup, butter, peanut butter, Nutella, whatever your waffle topper of choice is, they will still be tasty. It’s just disappointing the confetti doesn’t really add much.

Reminds me of this time I was out at a bar and the band on stage announced they would be playing a cover of Rush’s “YYZ.” Being a huge fan of the Holy Trinity, excitement stirred in my bones. Unfortunately, it was the single worst rendition of the song I had ever heard. The rhythm guitar was laughable, they skipped over the guitar solo and they didn’t even have a drummer! Being as drunk as I was, I booed throughout most of the song. Then for some reason the lead singer gave me a hat with the Bud Light logo after the set was over. Um… thanks?

The whole situation just didn’t make much sense, much like these Limited Edition Eggo Seasons Confetti Waffles.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 waffles – 170 calories, 30 calories from fat, 3.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 330 milligrams of sodium, 55 milligrams of potassium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.)

Item: Kellogg’s Limited Edition Eggo Seasons Confetti Waffles
Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: 8 waffles
Purchased at: Wegmans
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Still pass as Eggo waffles. Jeremy Hill. Having a group dance to “Koopa Bitch.” Being rewarded a Bud Light hat for incessant booing.
Cons: Almost nonexistent confetti flavor is a massive disappointment. Disappearing Jeffs. Having to endure pitiful covers of Rush songs.

Eggo Frozen Food Kellogg's

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Enchilada Monster Taco

Marvo / January 12, 2015 / Reviews / 3 Comments

I wish Jack in the Box’s Enchilada Monster Taco was an enchilada inside of a taco, but it is not. But I’m sure Taco Bell will one day accomplish that feat and give it a name, like Enchitaco, Enchilataco, or Talada.

For those of you not keeping score at home, and I’m pretty sure that’s 100 percent of you, Jack in the Box has introduced six Monster Taco varieties since 2013. There’s the original Monster Taco, Nacho Monster Taco, Bacon Ranch Monster Taco, Breakfast Monster Taco, Southwest Monster Taco, and this one

The Enchilada Monster Taco features seasoned ground beef, shredded lettuce, cheddar cheese, and an enchilada sauce in a partly crunchy, but 75 percent greasy taco shell. At a quick glance, it doesn’t look too different than a regular Monster Taco, but within the grease-stained shell there’s a difference. The original version has slices of American cheese and taco sauce instead of cheddar and enchilada sauce.

As you can see below, my taco had a whole lot of taco beef sludge and shredded lettuce, a bit of enchilada sauce, and not a lot of cheddar cheese. The enchilada sauce is a nice change of pace from Jack’s regular taco sauce. It’s not as spicy as the taco sauce, although the amount of lettuce my taco had might’ve dampened the spiciness. The enchilada sauce is also sweet and has a nice tomato-y, garlicky, and oniony flavor to it. I think I prefer it over Jack’s taco sauce.

As a whole, I did enjoy Jack in the Box’s Enchilada Monster Taco. It’s tasty and the shell, like all Jack in the Box tacos, has that wonderful crunch on the edges. But it’s too slight of a variation from the original Monster Taco. Adding enchilada sauce to a taco is as exciting as adding ketchup to a burger.

The Nacho version has jalapeños and nacho cheese sauce, the Ranch Bacon has a strip of bacon and ranch sauce, and the Southwest one had black beans and roasted corn. But the Enchilada Monster Taco just has enchilada sauce and shredded cheese. Compared with the others, it sounds unimaginative to me. And I don’t think it’s worth its premium price, which is a few dimes more than the original Monster Taco.

Now if it was an enchilada inside of a taco, then it would be a whole different story.

(Nutrition Facts – 308 calories, 177 calories from fat, 20 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 27 milligrams of cholesterol, 693 milligrams of sodium, 317 milligrams of potassium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 11 grams of protein.)

Item: Jack in the Box Enchilada Monster Taco
Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Enchilada sauce has nice flavor. The crunchy edges of the Taco Shell. Glad it doesn’t have American cheese.
Cons: Too slight of a variation from the original Monster Taco. Not worth the premium price over the original Monster Taco. Not using their creamy sriracha sauce on a taco (it’ll probably happen this year). Mine had a lot of lettuce and not a lot of cheddar cheese. Not an enchilada in a taco.

Fast Food Jack in the Box