Category: Reviews

REVIEW: Burger King Wednesday’s Whopper

Marvo 4 Comments

There are two differences between Burger King’s new Wednesday’s Whopper and a standard Whopper with Cheese. First is the use of Swiss cheese instead of American. The second is a purple sesame seed bun colored with purple potato instead of the standard sesame seed bun. The 1/4 lb flame-grilled patty, tomato, lettuce, mayo, ketchup, pickles, and onions are present with both.

If you’ve looked through the list of ingredients above and eaten various colored buns from the Whopper-Verse, you might have realized that Wednesday’s Whopper is similar to a particular web-slinger’s offering — the Spider Verse Whopper. Instead of a purple bun, it had a red one, but everything else was the same.

Let’s start with this hamburger’s headliner, the purple bun. Prince would so approve. The purple potato used to dye the buns makes it look spiffy, and the black sesame seeds dotted across the crust are the chef’s kiss. But the vibrant violet under the crust looks even better. However, the bun is more of a visual experience than one that tantalizes your taste buds because it pretty much tastes like a standard bun.

The Swiss cheese has a mellower flavor than the usual orange stuff, but its creaminess and saltiness come through, which slightly mellows the Whopper’s flame-grilled flavor. All the usual Whopper flavors are there, especially the ketchup, mayo, and pickles, which makes it taste too similar to a regular one. That’s not bad, though, since I enjoy regular Whoppers. However, I wish Burger King continued the purple theme by adding red/purple onions (or maybe even purple-dyed cheese). The purple onion’s sharper taste also would’ve given this burger a slightly different flavor than the Spider Verse Whopper.

Finally, some of you might be wondering if there’s a specific post-digestion problem that has happened with a previous Burger King colored bun. Well, whew, no number two issues.

If you’ve never experienced one of Burger King’s colored buns—red, orange, white, green, or black—here’s your opportunity to feast your eyes on one in real life.

Purchased Price: $9.19*
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 820 calories, 52 grams of fat, 20 grams of sugar, 1 gram of trans fat, 125 milligrams of cholesterol, 1480 milligrams of sodium, 56 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 40 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: Nesquik DJ Khaled Another Bun Milk

Jenna 2 Comments

According to one of his more famous songs, all DJ Khaled does is win, win, win, no matter what. So, I was eager to discover whether his new collaboration with Nesquik, Another Bun ready-to-drink flavored milk, could be counted among those victories. If you’re not familiar, DJ Khaled is a musician whose catchphrase is “Another one!” (Interestingly enough, that’s my catchphrase too, but unlike the good DJ, who uses it whenever he releases a new hit song, I just use it when ordering more novelty junk food.) “Another Bun” is then, of course, a spin on that alludes to the drink’s cinnamon bun flavoring.

Said cinnamon flavor was on full olfactory display when I screwed off the top from my bottle and was met by a delicious churro-y smell. Aroma-wise, Another Bun was on point, though I was slightly caught off guard by its appearance. I expected a deeper, darker brown, but the color is more off-white. It looks more like frosting than a bun itself. But as they say, don’t judge a bun by its color. Or was that don’t judge a milk by its cover? In any case, I quickly dispensed with the judging and commenced with the tasting.

Remember those unrealistic expectations I had for what the drink would look like? Well, I’m sorry to say that maybe my judgmental attitude was warranted after all because I was similarly underwhelmed by the flavor. I was expecting a buttery, indulgent, almost overpowering sweetness like that of a Cinnabon. However, this reminded me more of the dry, nearly tasteless cinnamon bun that I was recently served at a fancy but stuffy café. Listen, subtle flavors have their time and place, but I just don’t think they’re a fit for any product whose mascot is a totally rad life-size rabbit!

What I’m saying is I wanted more from Another Bun. It gets points for its smooth, creamy texture and fundamental decentness, but it just didn’t taste very different to me than Nesquik’s existing vanilla variety. Yes, there was a hint of nice cinnamon-y warmth and spice, but it wasn’t strong enough to override the primary flavor: milk. Specifically, weirdly artificial-tasting milk. I wish I could compare this to the Cinnamilk left at the bottom of a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but it reminded me more of that hard-to-put-a-finger-on-but-impossible-to-ignore synthetic tang of a bottled protein shake. After searching through what felt like an endless amount of beverage coolers to find this flavor (was DJ Khaled’s persistent shouting of “Another one!” actually just foreshadowing how many stores I’d have to go to to buy the dang thing?), I was disappointed by how mild and unmemorable it was, especially in comparison to DJ Khaled’s ostentatious personality. I do have to admit that the art on the bottle is absolutely awesome, but it’s probably not a great thing for a consumable product when the best part about it is its disposable packaging!

Needless to say, even if I could track this thing down again, I would not purchase “Another one!”

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 14 fl oz bottle
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (per bottle) 260 calories,4.5 grams of fat, 190 milligrams of sodium, 41 grams of carbohydrates, 39 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Monster Ultra Vice Guava

Marvo 1 Comment

Looking back at our Monster Ultra reviews, every single one has been positive. And, spoiler alert, I will give Monster Ultra Vice Guava another high rating. How high? You’ll just have to read on or scroll down to the bottom of this review.

Monster Ultra Vice Guava sounds like a video game collaboration between Fruit Ninja, Grand Theft Auto, and a Kaiju game. But it’s much better than calling it Ultra Red Orange. You see, before, Monster was all about using colors to name its zero sugar energy drinks: Blue, Black, Red, Violet, and Gold. But recently, it seems like a lot more thought has been put into them: Peachy Keen, Strawberry Dreams, Fantasy Ruby Red, and now this one.

Here’s what the can says:

“Miami has it all, mind-blowing Latin energy, premier racing from NASCAR to F1, and world class beaches with the hottest clubs right on the sand. Whether you’re an over-the-top partier or an undercover crime fighter in a pastel suit, T-shirt, and loafers-you gotta stay energized! From South Beach to Calle Ocho, looking good and feeling good is what it’s all about. With zero sugar to weigh you down, the fresh taste of perfectly ripened guava, and our world-famous Monster Energy Blend, Ultra Vice Guava has you covered!”

There’s definitely an 80s Miami Vice style going on with the can, thanks to the pink and teal colors and the graphics. What’s Miami Vice? It was a 1980s cop show that lasted for five seasons on NBC. I’m pretty sure it’s streaming somewhere. There was also a movie adaptation of the show in 2006 with the same name.

While the can’s design brings a very old show to mind, the drink’s flavor makes me think of Monster Juice Pipeline Punch, one of my favorite Monster Energy products of all time that has a mix of guava and passion fruit flavors. Vice Guava is straight-up guava, and if it wasn’t for its non-juice consistency, I might’ve been convinced this was part of the Monster Juice line based on its great tasting and natural flavor. Also, as I’ve experienced with other Ultra varieties, it’s hard to detect the artificial sweeteners.

Monster Ultra Vice Guava is another zero sugar energy drink winner, and it’s currently my favorite in the Ultra line.

DISCLOSURE: I wrote this review based on cans I purchased, but later received a free product sample from Monster. Getting it did not influence my review.

Purchased Price: More than one should pay on eBay
Size: 16 fl oz can
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 10 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 10 calories, 0 grams of fat, 370 milligrams of sodium, 5 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 2 grams of erythritol, 0 grams of protein, and 150 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Burger King Morticia’s Kooky Chocolate Shake

Mark Leave a comment

This October, Burger King has teamed up with one of the most iconic Halloween families: The Addams Family!

This fall marks the 60th anniversary of the original series, and fans are eagerly awaiting season 2 of Wednesday. However, BK has opted to brand its seasonal lineup with the animated movies instead. (I enjoyed the 2019 film, but the 2021 sequel was literally the worst version of the franchise I’ve seen. And I’ve seen most incarnations.)

Representing the family matriarch is Morticia’s Kooky Chocolate Shake, which mixes soft-serve ice cream with chocolate cake batter fudge, topped with black and purple cookie bits. (It seems like a missed opportunity not to call this a Kooky Cookie Shake or a Kooky Cocoa Shake.)

Let’s get this out of the way first: chocolate cake and chocolate shakes seem like something that Morticia Frump Addams is unlikely to eat. For someone who enjoys cooking aardvark, yak, eye of newt, and cookies with bats and lizards, chocolate just seems too gauche. And she also seems unlikely to feed it to her carnivorous plant Cleopatra.

But for me, someone who does not keep nooses or iron maidens hanging around the house, I really enjoyed the shake. Since it is made with cake batter fudge, it is a richer, more sophisticated chocolate shake than one you would get made with chocolate syrup.

The cookie pieces are a standard chocolate sandwich cookie, but the creme filling is purple. They have a good flavor, but perhaps more importantly, they provide some textural contrast to the soft shake. But there’s not too many of them to become annoying.

At the bottom of the cup, I scooped up some of the cake batter fudge. It had a slightly gritty texture and a rich, almost buttery flavor. This tells me they actually put some effort into this limited-time offering, instead of just putting in a nondescript syrup and pretending it’s fancy.

Morticia’s Kooky Chocolate Shake is a scream. Or, rather, a scree-yum.

Purchased Price: $4.69
Size: Regular
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 740 calories, 30 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 690 milligrams of sodium, 106 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 82 grams of sugar, and 13 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Burger King Gomez’s Churro Fries

Marvo 2 Comments

Perhaps the most intriguing product from Burger King’s Addams Family Menu is Gomez’s Churro Fries, fried crispy pastry dough tossed in cinnamon sugar and served warm with chocolate sauce.

Wednesday’s Whopper looks cool with its purple bun, and Morticia’s Kooky Chocolate Shake sounds delightful with black and purple cookie pieces and chocolate cake batter fudge. But there have been numerous Whoppers with colored buns, and the shake sounds like it’s just a chocolate shake with cookie bits. However, how many major fast food chains have offered us a churros and chocolate combo? I can’t think of one.

The dippable dessert comes in four-, eight-, and twelve-piece orders and is served in an Addams Family-themed box with a section where you can put your chocolate sauce container, similar to the Chicken Fries bawk-s. I got an eight-piece order because four didn’t seem like much, and I expected these to be awesome.

However, they were disappointing.

Before dipping a churro into the sauce, I had to try it sans sauce. That was a mistake because it tasted plain, just fried dough with a hint of sweetness. I could taste more oil than anything sweet. I wondered if mine were tossed in cinnamon sugar because it didn’t taste like it. When I smelled the others in the box, I got a faint sweet scent, and after eating the first one plain, there was an accumulation of seasoning on my fingers, which had a light cinnamon sugar flavor. So maybe mine didn’t get tossed with enough seasoning?

The chocolate sauce helped my order taste better. There was more than enough of it in the container for all eight pieces with double dipping. The dark sauce covered up most of the oiliness, but that also meant it masked whatever hint of sweetness the churros had. Sure, the chocolate’s sugariness made up for it, but if these had a more robust cinnamon sugar flavor, they would’ve been excellent with the sauce. (Side note: I also dipped Burger King’s fries into it and enjoyed it more than the churros.)

Because of my disheartening experience with the churro fries, I decided to get another order from a different location. The cinnamon sugar flavor with my second order may have been slightly better, but they needed more seasoning.

Gomez’s Churro Fries had the potential to be great. They have a pleasant crispiness and are a decent size, but like the number of Addams Family references in this review, the cinnamon sugariness is lacking.

Purchased Price: $6.59*
Size: 8-piece order
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 300 calories, 18 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 270 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

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