NEWS: Pepto-Bismol InstaCool Still Can’t Make Getting Diarrhea Cool

For my heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, nausea and diarrhea, I trust Pepto-Bismol. But only because it rhymes with rectal dismal. I have a lot of faith in medications that rhyme with a symptom I’m feeling.

Their latest product is Pepto-Bismol with InstaCool, which are chewable tablets with a peppermint flavor and cooling sensation. According to Pepto-Bismol, the peppermint and cooling feeling, “lets you know relief is on the way.”

But their old products did the same thing. I think the chalkiness of their original tablets and the sludge-like liquid Pepto-Bismol sliding down my digestive system are great ways to let me know relief is on the way.

Pepto-Bismol with InstaCool is available in quantities of 30 tablets.

NEWS: Vitaminwater Connect Gives Facebook Users Something Appropriate To Spit Out When They Find Out Via Facebook The Ex They Still Think About Is Now Married

Last year, Vitaminwater allowed their Facebook fans to create a new flavor and the result of that is Vitaminwater Connect. The newest beverage from the Coke-owned company is a black cherry-lime flavored water that contains eight “key nutrients” and caffeine. Sadly, none of the ingredients in the beverage were grown via FarmVille.

As with all flavors of Vitaminwater, it contains the obligatory light-hearted copy in all lowercase letters:

“we caught you. no use denying it. your fingerprints are all over this bottle. after connecting on Facebook, you voted on the flavor & designed the label—it was great having you do all the work! and since you’ve been so busy pretending not to notice friend requests for about 3 days, posting pics of events (that you’re still at), and clicking through photos of ‘friends’ you barely know (ever get nervous they can tell?), better crack open this bottle. it’s got 8 key nutrients from vitamin a to zing plus caffeine to give you some extra energy… because based on last night’s pics, it looks like you’ve got some serious untagging to do.”

It won’t be available until March, but you can kill some of that time by playing Mafia Wars or Bejeweled Blitz.

NEWS: New Chocolate Cheerios Are Going To Be Part of My Complete Breakfast of Chocolate Milk and Nutella Toast

Update: Click here to read our Chocolate Cheerios review.

I’ve always wondered when General Mills would come out with a Chocolate Cheerios. It just seemed inevitable since other non-kiddie cereals have gone over to the dark (chocolate) side, like Special K, Frosted Mini Wheats, Chex and Honey Bunches of Oats.

Come on Chocolate Covered Raisin Bran!

Chocolate Cheerios are made with real cocoa, but while they maybe healthier than a bowl of Hershey’s Kisses in a bowl of milk, they’re only slightly better for you than Cocoa Puffs, Cocoa Pebbles or Count Chocula.

A 3/4 cup serving size contains 100 calories, 1 gram of fat, 170 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 9 grams of sugar and 1 gram of protein.

NEWS: Kettle Fully Loaded Baked Potato Potato Chips Allow Me To Say ‘Potato’ and ‘Potahto’ in the Same Product Name

Every year, Kettle Brand potato chips has a Create-a-Chip Challenge that allows fans of the brand to create a new flavor for the company. Past winning flavors include: Spicy Thai, Buffalo Bleu and Tuscan Three Cheese. This year’s winning flavor is the Fully Loaded Baked Potato.

If you’re not familiar with a fully loaded baked potato, it’s a potato that’s baked in an oven to make the insides all fluffy. After it reaches that point, it’s cut open with a knife and then waterboarded with sour cream, green onions, cheese and bacon, until it’s an unhealthy shell of its former self. These new baked potato flavored potato chips take sour cream, green onions, cheddar cheese and bacon and slaps it on Kettle’s crunchy chips.

I enjoy Kettle Brand Potato Chips and I love baked potatoes that have been waterboarded with sour cream, green onions, cheese and bacon, so I look forward to trying these.

A one-ounce serving of Kettle Fully Loaded Baked Potato Potato Chips contains 150 calories, 9 grams of fat, 1 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 180 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates and 2 grams of protein. They’re only available in 5-ounce bags.

NEWS: New Popchips Flavors Make Me Pop…Down There

When I first tried popchips, I thought they were missing the best potato chip flavor ever in their lineup — sour cream & onion — and hoped someday they would come out with that flavor. Fortunately James Ingram and Linda Ronstadt were correct when they sang, somewhere out there, there’s a place where dreams do come true, and I believe that place is in the test kitchens at popchips because they recently introduced a sour cream & onion popchips, along with a cheddar one.

Yes!!! My mind has the ability to make things come true.

Okay, let me imagine Oprah or Martha Stewart caressing me. No…wait!

Let me imagine Oprah AND Martha Stewart caressing me. I’d be the meat in a Millionaire Mogul Sandwich.

Come on! Come true, baby!

Like all popchips, these new flavors are all natural and have less than half the fat of fried chips. A 1 ounce serving size of each contains 120 calories, 4 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 290 milligrams of sodium and 20 grams of carbohydrates. Both flavors come in either 3 or 0.8 ounce bags.