The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: Taco Bell Dare Devil Loaded Grillers

August 12, 2015January 3, 2021 Dan 6 Comments

I have a confession, dear readers.

I am a weenie.

That’s right: I’m the guy who needs a tissue after a single Flaming Hot Cheeto. I’m the guy who thinks playing Doritos Roulette is cruel and unusual punishment. And Thai food? More like “I want to die food.”

And I’ve been mocked for it my whole life.

That’s why taking on the challenge of Taco Bell’s new Dare Devil Loaded Grillers, which come in three escalating levels of spiciness, was a personal quest for me. If I can handle these, maybe I can regain some self-respect. No longer will I quiver before a bottle of Sriracha.

So without further ado, allow me to channel my inner Dante and dive into these three tortilla-wrapped circles of Hell.

First up was Mild Chipotle. The wrapper seemed to mock me with its condescending tone and mellow yellow colors. The insides were kinda squished together, but between the many, thick layers of tortilla were scant amounts of beef, plenty of gooey cheese, strangely damp wads of red corn chips, and the tempting beige sauce.

Flavor-wise, the toasty, grilled flour of the tortilla and the slight edge of the cheese dominated all else, with the sauce backing it up with a savory creaminess that had a palpably high fattiness. Little meatiness could be found, and the chips got too soggy to lend any sort of fun crunch. Regardless, as a fan of quesadillas, this tasted a lot like a pleasantly zesty one.

As for the spice, after finishing a bite I noticed a relaxed buzz in the back of my throat, but nothing even my greenhorn tongue couldn’t handle.

Kicking it up a notch (shame on Taco Bell for not working in the phrase “kick it up a nacho” somehow), I bit into the Hot Habanero griller. Aesthetically, it looked nearly identical to its plain-Jane little brother, except with a much thinner and angrier looking orange layer of creamy sauce.

Compared to Chipotle, the taste here was like a “hot beef injection.” Wait, wait. That’s not what I mean. Don’t Google that, please. But anyway, the noticeable tang of the pepper made the smoky, seasoned beef flavor much more prominent here, with undertones of garlic and black pepper. Our “chipper” friends manage to pop in with a brief, hot corniness, too.

The heat was a slow buildup, so much so that I thought I was safe until my tongue and throat started to tingle and whimper like a dog who played with a porcupine (thank my German Shorthair, who took a faceful of quills to bring us that analogy). Fortunately, the steady burn wasn’t nearly intense enough that a long swig of milk couldn’t wash it out.

But then it was time for Fiery Ghost Pepper. It was to be my personal final boss: my Bowser, my Ganondorf, and my last mine in a tense game of Minesweeper. Unlike its creamy siblings, this one just oozed a sinister, bubbly red liquid (okay, maybe I imagined the bubbles).

In terms of flavor, I was barely able to sense a salty combo of meat and corn chips before the acrid acidity of the sauce took over, with the harsh, concentrated pepper flavor overwhelming and seeping into all else. Even the formerly friendly cheese betrayed me and became pasteurized magma.

Et tu, nacho?

To seasoned veterans of seasoned spice, the heat may not quite be “1,000,00 Scovilles,” but it was enough to make me say “Sco-ly s***!” My tongue went numb to flavor, my throat resonated with capsaicin, and trying to wash it down with milk was as futile as Smokey the Bear crying tears of disappointment onto a forest fire.

For a total price of $3, the Dare Devil Grillers were a fun novelty, but outside of Chipotle, I can’t imagine buying any for an actual meal (though they are large enough for one), since the burn takes way from the familiar flavor, which you could easily get from many of Taco Bell’s other items.

Since I can see my word count here is already starting to rival Dante’s Divine Comedy, too, and since I’m still nursing a crispy tongue, I think a brief haiku summarizing each Griller will suffice:

Chipotle, my friend:
Cheesy, zesty mayo-filled
Beef quesadilla

Habanero, oh!
Peppered meat, slow-building heat
(That sounded dirty)

Ghost pepper: need Tums
Like Pompeii, heat buries taste
Ow ow ow, owww, ow!

(Nutrition Facts – Chipotle – 420 calories, 200 calories from fat, 22 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 940 milligrams of sodium, 43 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of dietary fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 12 grams of protein. Habanero – 380 calories, 160 calories from fat, 18 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 900 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of dietary fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 12 grams of protein. Ghost Pepper – 400 calories, 180 calories from fat, 20 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 970 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of dietary fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 11 grams of protein.)

Item: Taco Bell Dare Devil Loaded Grillers
Purchased Price: $1 each
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Taco Bell
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Chipotle)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Habanero)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Ghost Pepper)
Pros: Flavorful beef with cheese and toasty flour tortilla. Unbeatable value. The sinful goodness of “palpably high fat content.” Conquering your personal Ganondorf.
Cons: Pain and heat mask flavor as you move up in heat. Only difference between Grillers is flavor emphasis. Soggy chips. The crushing betrayal of “pasteurized magma.”

SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Combos Sweet & Salty Chocolate Fudge Pretzel

August 12, 2015January 3, 2021 Marvo 3 Comments

I’m wondering why Combos hasn’t made a chocolate and peanut butter version of these. Don’t they like money? (Spotted by Travis at 7-Eleven.)

If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo, where you spotted it, and the hashtag #spotted. If you’ve tried the product, share your thoughts about it in the comments.

Also, if you’re wondering if we’ve already covered something, search our Flickr photos or use the Google Search box on the right (or below if you’re on a mobile device) to find out.

REVIEW: Lay’s Wavy Do Us a Flavor West Coast Truffle Fries Potato Chips

August 12, 2015August 28, 2023 Jeff 14 Comments

In what seems to be an annual tradition, Lay’s brings us four new flavors in the 2015 edition of “Do Us a Flavor” contest. The concept is, admittedly, pretty awesome. I’m a sucker for new flavored potato chips and four ordinary everyday people like you and me get a chance to see their own flavor ideas become a reality. It’s a win-win-win for the contestant, the consumers, and Lay’s.

The winner gets to live forever in potato chip dignity (or infamy) with a million in his or her pocket. Our taste buds get to enjoy new flavors. And Lay’s gets a public relations boost.

Besides, there are worse yearly traditions like the annual physical checkup or Christmas with the in-laws (yes I’ll take more egg-nog!). Unlike those events, I really look forward to this promotion. And it appears it’s working. The fervor at several Targets was evident because there were rarely any available when the new flavors first reached its stores. I had to settle for a bag of seven-layer dip Combos, which are pretty damn swank in its own right.

On a mundane Wednesday, I walked into the Target near my work looking for some supermarket sushi (don’t judge, I know most of you out there buy it too). I decided to give the chip aisle a look-see and voila!!! I found the Lay’s Wavy West Coast Truffle Fries. And like an article, there’s a byline… “Submitted by Angie Fu.”

Angie Fu seems like a nice person, she is photogenic and looks like those clip art photos one uses in those damned team-building slideshow presentations. A quick look on the internet tells me Angie Fu is a senior manager of production and product development at a cosmetic company. She has a penchant, like my wife and I, for truffle fries with parmesan sprinkled on top. Can Lay’s deliver? Will the translation be applauded like the Ant-Man adaptation or derided like the recent Fantastic Four movie?

I opened the bag and was a bit unsure because it smelled more of sour cream and onion chips than the familiar earthy and mellow musk of truffles. Subsequent inhales left me even more confused because the garlic and onion notes began to overwhelm my nostrils.

The Wavy chips are my favorite and I feel Lay’s smartly chose this shape because the ridges not only have a pleasant texture, but they are also like “dusty” ledges that herd that flavor powder to a single intense point. It really underscores whatever flavor the chip is carrying.

However, these chips are a double-edged sword. The chips, as always, were crispy and delivered that snap. But the flavor was like a roasted potato with a strong dairy finish, like a sour cream. If there was truffle, it was faint like a ghost. The cereal milk left over from Grape-Nuts has more character. The chip really tasted like a cheddary-sour cream and onion chip.

Don’t mistake my comments for this being a bad chip. If you’re looking for a cheddar/sour cream and onion chip, these hit the penthouse. Yet, I wanted what was promised and the taste of roasted potato, cheddar, and sour cream (loaded baked potato sans bacon?) was not what I had in mind. There’s visible flecks of parsley, which were the only evidence they existed. I was clearly disappointed and gave the bag to my wife, who also remarked on the strong creamy cheddar-like flavor the chips imparted.

Maybe I’m being too harsh, but I can’t help it. Truffle has a distinct and luscious profile. I was excited to see the flavor and I was ecstatic when the photo of those wonderful fries with truffle oil doused on it and parmesan scattered like delicious confetti. My experience with these chips was akin to chatting it up with someone at a bar with moody lighting and when you walk out, you realize it’s your sister. AGGGGHHH! My sister is a decent person but she’s not the person you want to…well, you know.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 oz. – 160 calories, 10 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 330 milligrams of potassium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Lay’s Wavy Do Us a Flavor West Coast Truffle Fries Potato Chips
Purchased Price: $3.29
Size: 7.75 oz. bag
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Wavy shape is the way to go for a profound flavor. The annual “Do Us a Flavor” promotion. Alexander Fu-Sing’s vintage Kung Fu films.
Cons: The profound flavor is more “sour cream and onion” than truffle and parmesan. The annual scream into your pillow Christmas festivities with your in-laws. Imagining Angie Fu’s warm smile turn to a frown because of these chips.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 8/12/2015

August 12, 2015January 3, 2021 Marvo 1 Comment

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

Trader Joe’s Popcorn in a Pickle

What kind of trouble can popcorn get into? (Spotted by Sylvia at Trader Joe’s.)

Market Pantry Squeezable Sour Cream

If I can’t get my hands on the sour cream guns at Taco Bell, this will have to do. (Spotted by Robbie at Target.)

Campbell’s Taste Sensations Chicken Noodle (Tuscan-Style, Mexican-Style, and Asian-Style)

It’s rare to see products beg to be picked up. Nice try, Campbell’s. Maybe if it said, “Try me, please.” (Spotted by Briana at Shoppers.)

Wolfgang Greek Style Yogurt Treats (Blueberry, Blood Orange & Mango, and Key Lime)

This Wolfgang brand should not be confused with the other Wolfgang brand. (Spotted by Chris B. at Target.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo, where you spotted it, and the hashtag #spotted. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

Also, if you’re wondering if we’ve already covered something, search our Flickr photos or use the Google Search box on the right (or below if you’re on a mobile device) to find out.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Pecan Pie M&M’s

August 12, 2015January 3, 2021 Marvo 24 Comments

Click here to buy Pecan Pie M&M’s from Amazon

Update: We reviewed it! Click here to read our review.

These just have an artificial pecan pie flavor. But Mars has M&M’s technology that allows them to put nuts and crispy rice into M&M’s. So why can’t they use that to put pecan bits into these? (Spotted by Sascha at Walmart.)

Also, if you’re wondering if we’ve already covered something, search our Flickr photos or use the Google Search box on the right (or below if you’re on a mobile device) to find out.

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