REVIEW: Taco Bell Crispy Chicken Chipotle Chickstar

Taco Bell Crispy Chicken Chipotle Chickstar 2

Perhaps the worst thing about Taco Bell is ordering.

Are they really going to make me say “Chickstar” out loud? Chickstar. Can I instead order the “crunchy, chewy pentagonal chicken pouch”?

Don’t test me, Taco Bell.

I walked away from that movie Chappie just because I didn’t want to have to say “Chappie” out loud to the box office. You think the branding is cute but it sounds like I’m doing jaw exercises before delivering a high school sports report on the local news. Chi-ck-stahr. Que-sah-ree-toh. Break-fast fail-ures.

The Crispy Chicken Chickstar can slide, though, just this once. It’s pretty good! To start, this sandwich thing is shaped like the Crunchwrap Supreme, so it’s completely inviting comparisons. The first bite is a bit of a shock. “I know the Crunchwrap Supreme. And you, sir, are no Crunchwrap Supreme.”

Taco Bell Crispy Chicken Chipotle Chickstar 3

It lacks the snap of a tortilla shell wedged into each bite, but give it some time–the texture is still dynamic, thanks to the fried chicken fillets. The breading of the two chicken finger-sized pieces is made of tortilla chips and while it doesn’t taste different than most other fast food breading, it has a jagged, harder feel that gives it some substance. The chicken itself is also white and dense, like a U.S. congressman.

The softness of the outer tortilla contrasts nicely with the rough-breaded chicken and that interplay is definitely the star (Chickstar?) of the show. Having no bread, it means the protein is allowed to pop more and it also means there are those delightful bites that consist of folded over flour tortilla. So satisfying. Hold on to the tiny joys in life.

I tried the creamy chipotle version of the Chickstar. The sauce filled in the flavor profile and rounded out the taste a bit, but overall it felt a little anemic with the heat. The grated cheese and lettuce and tomato are even more of an afterthought than usual and remain borderline useless. However, the chicken did a decent job of picking up the slack, like Allen Iverson. Al-hen Thigh-verson? Mmm, Al-hen Thigh-verson.

Taco Bell Crispy Chicken Chipotle Chickstar

I know these sound like negative points for the Chickstar, but something about the entire package clicks together. It’s crunchy and soft in the right places and knows how to showcase the novelty of a tortilla chip-breaded chicken. Maybe it’s magic. Maybe it’s black magic. Taco Bell does fold these things into pentagrams. Or are they hexagrams. They added an extra side to the pentagram just like they added a fourth meal to the day! Must be voodoo.

The Chipotle Chickstar is a good item. Taco Bell’s new chicken fillet thing is good. But it cost me four bucks and I can get a couple chicken sandwiches for half that at most fast food restaurants. It even costs more than a Quesarito, and is almost as embarrassing to say.

What does “Chickstar” even mean? Is it a chicken hipster? A poultry constellation? Lady rock star? Debbie Harry? Chrissie Hynde? (Crispy Fried is her Chickstar name). Whatever. I’d pay another dollar just to not say the name out loud in the restaurant. And I’ll throw the cashier another twenty if he wants to go next door and say “One for Chappie” for me.

(Nutrition Facts – 760 calories, 43 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 1650 milligrams of sodium, 70 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of sugar, 4 grams of fiber, and 25 grams of protein.)

Item: Taco Bell Crispy Chicken Chipotle Chickstar
Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Taco Bell
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Nice breading, great texture. Easy to eat, plenty of folded over tortilla.
Cons: Chipotle sauce is a little quiet, bland. Cheese is still Taco Bell cheese. Fairly expensive.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Tombstone Limited Edition Diablo and Limited Edition Bratwurst Pizzas

Tombstone Limited Edition Diablo Pizza

Tombstone Limited Edition Bratwurst Pizza

What? No sauerkraut as a topping on the the bratwurst one? (Spotted by TJ at Strack & Van Til.)

If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo, where you spotted it, and the hashtag #spotted. If you’ve tried the product, share your thoughts about it in the comments.

Also, if you’re wondering if we’ve already covered something, search our Flickr photos to find out.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 4/9/2015

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

Yoplait Greek 100 Banana Caramel Yogurt

Yoplait Greek 100 Banana Caramel Yogurt

This yogurt got me thinking about Elvis and his love of peanut butter and banana sandwiches, which then got me thinking about why there aren’t peanut butter-flavored yogurts. I think a peanut butter and banana yogurt might be good. (Spotted by Joshua at Walmart.)

Limited Edition Mrs. Butterworth's Original Syrup

Limited Edition Mrs. Butterworth’s Original Syrup

This has to be the most uninventive limited edition product I’ve ever seen. (Spotted by Devin at Walmart Neighborhood Market.)

Lucky Country Aussie Style Tropical Blend Soft Licorice Candy

Lucky Country Aussie Style Tropical Blend Soft Licorice Candy

Lucky Country Aussie Style Berry Fusion Soft Licorice Candy

Lucky Country Aussie Style Berry Fusion Soft Licorice Candy

If you’re wondering what Aussie-style licorice is, click here. If not, you can use that space in your head to fit more song lyrics. (Spotted by Amy at Costco.)

Hormel Real Bacon Sprinkles

Hormel Real Bacon Sprinkles

Snortable bacon? Note: Please don’t snort bacon. (Spotted by Kevin at Walmart.)

Bud Light Lime Lemon-ade-Rita

Bud Light Lime Lemon-ade-Rita

I thought lemon would’ve been the next logical flavor after Bud Light Lime Lime-a-rita was introduced. Instead, it ended up being, I think, the sixth or seventh. (Spotted by Rene at Food-4-Less.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo, where you spotted it, and the hashtag #spotted. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

Also, if you’re wondering if we’ve already covered something, search our Flickr photos to find out.

FAST FOOD NEWS: IHOP Caramel Apple and Strawberry Creme Brioche French Toasts

IHOP Caramel Apple Brioche French Toast

IHOP has two new Brioche French Toast varieties.

Their Caramel Apple Brioche French Toast is topped with sliced apples, drizzled with a caramel sauce, and has a warm vanilla sauce on the side. Strawberry Creme Brioche French Toast features glazed strawberries, a dollop of sour creme, and a brown sugar drizzle.

IHOP’s Brioche French Toast is made by dipping thick-cut Brioche bread slices in a lightly-sweetened vanilla batter and then grilling them to a golden crispiness.

IHOP Strawberry Creme Brioche French Toast

IHOP has also brought back their Classic Bananas Foster Brioche French Toast that features sliced bananas caramelized in a buttery brown sugar glaze and a New Orleans Foster’s sauce.

These three IHOP Brioche French Toast flavors can be enjoyed as an entree or as part of a combo. They’ll be available until May 31.

If you’ve tried any of them, let us know what you think of it in the comments.

(Image via IHOP)

SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Rockstar Sport Energy Shake (Chocolate and Cookies & Cream)

Rockstar Sport Energy Shake (Chocolate and Cookies & Cream)

Protein, caffeine, calcium, electrolytes, and B-vitamins? It’s as if a Gatorade, Rockstar Energy Drink, and a Muscle Milk had a baby. (Spotted by Rene at FoodMaxx.)

If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo, where you spotted it, and the hashtag #spotted. If you’ve tried the product, share your thoughts about it in the comments.

Also, if you’re wondering if we’ve already covered something, search our Flickr photos to find out.