A burger with jalapeño, jalapeño poppers, cheese, and taco sauce being tested as a Jack’s Munchie Menu item? Oh, hella yes to the Hella-peño Burger! (Spotted by Brandon at a Jack in the Box in Newark, CA.)
If you’re out getting some fast food and see a test product on the menu board, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Menus post.
The Impulsive Buy is currently looking for enthusiastic, talented, funny, and self-motivated individuals to write processed food product reviews. We hope to bring on a few new reviewers to write one or two reviews per month.
Writer Requirements:
1. Must have a computer.
2. Must have a digital camera (or a very good smartphone camera).
3. Have spelling and grammar abilities equal to or greater than mine.
4. Have an ability to entertain people with words.
It’s a paid gig, but we won’t say how much we pay per review. However, we can say it’s enough for you to have a pizza party for one…maybe two.
If you would like to apply for the position, here’s what you’ll need to send:
Writing Samples:
1. One sample review in TIB format (nutrition facts, rating, price, pros, cons, etc at the bottom). The review must be about something new or limited edition. The sample review will help us determine if your writing style would be a good fit. To give you an idea of how long a TIB review is, they range from 400-1,000 words.
2. Photo(s) of the product you reviewed. (High quality versions, please!)
3. A bio and why you want to write for The Impulsive Buy.
A Few Notes:
1. Due to legal reasons, we can’t hire minors.
2. At this time, we’re not looking to add writers from outside the United States and Canada.
3. Please don’t send your review and bio as an attachment. Copy and paste them into your email. Photos will be sent as attachments.
To apply, please email your sample review, pictures, and bio to [email protected] with “Fraka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kow!” in the subject line. The deadline to apply will be November 24th.
Thank you.
Marvo
Editor
(Update: Click here to read our Bud Light Lime Limited Winter Edition Cran-Brrr-Rita review)
Like pumpkin pie or pecan pie flavored vodka, Bud Light Lime Limited Winter Edition Cran-Brrr-Rita is a festive way to make dysfunctional family dinners even more dysfunctional. (Spotted by Natalie at Kroger.)
If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.
List of things hard to improve: the Northern Lights, pens that don’t run out of ink, paper dragons, snack mixes, and Jedi mind tricks.
I once thought that Milano cookies, too, should be on this list. Composed of planks of golden sugar cookies sandwiching a thin layer of semisweet chocolate, original Milano toe the line of perfection, and yet the restless, curious minds at Pepperidge Farm are working to propel the cookie into a new realm of supremacy, having now covered the beloved cookie in a bevy of chocolate. Since I could live the rest of my life with nothing but Netflix, a vat of milk, and a constantly streaming Costco-sized bag of the originals, I couldn’t help but give this new chocolate covered variation its time in the spotlight.
Well, well, what’s this? Seems these bountiful biscuits have ditched the old flimsy fluted cup for a plastic sleeve. A wise choice, not only because fluted cups remind me of past traumatic experiences with Betty Crocker, but also because the plastic separators prevent them from melting and turning into mish-mosh.
And these cookies aren’t mish-mosh.
Some mass-produced chocolate can taste of sugar and vegetable oil, giving the chocolate all the bizarre flatness of a senator reading rap lines. Not so with these sandwiches. The milk chocolate coating is sugary sweet with a finish of light cocoa. It melts pretty fast, which isn’t good for that white shirt you pressed this morning, but quite good for consuming off the nubs of your chocolate-coated fingers.
But where that chocolate really shines is with the cookie itself. Aside from being covered in cocoa solids, these biscuits haven’t changed a bit. Walking the tightrope between crispy and crunchy with just a hint at an artificial buttery end, these planks serve as the perfect palate to showcase the semisweet chocolate insides. This thin inner core of hardened chocolate starts sweet then leaves just a hint of coffee-like bitterness behind. It is here that I realize how much this cookie thrives on contrasts. This sweet, crunchy, gooey, pleasantly bitter experience has all the sporadic eccentricities akin to listening to the playlist of a late night college radio station: one moment, you’re listening to Sinatra, the next, David Bowie, the next, Bob Marley. A whole range of personalities.
And if sandwich cookies had personalities, the Milano would be the intellectual. The deep thinker. The Nietchze reader who enjoys classic cinema and vintage wine and purple silk robes. Thus I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that I shelled out an Abraham Lincoln for the 7 cookies, but I was a little disappointed with the low cookie count.
While the milk chocolate on these is pretty good, the cookie doesn’t quite offer enough specialty or mystery for such a price. However, the box did fulfill my chocolate quota in the time it would take to get my car washed, and all chocolate has antioxidants and antioxidants are good for your ojos, right? Or wait, maybe that’s carrots.
I have a self-imposed superstition that, if you mess with perfection, bad things will happen: your eggs will curdle, your credit card will be debunked, or a clan of vengeful lobsters will arise from the sea and attack you for no apparent reason. Luckily, none of these things happened when these Milano cookies were consumed and, while they were a bit overpriced, these show themselves as a solid example of a chocolate covered cookie.
(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 160 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 0 milligrams of potassium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 12 grams of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.
Item: Limited Edition Pepperidge Farm Milk Chocolate Dipped Milano Cookies
Purchased Price: $4.99
Size: 1 box/7 cookies
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Crispy-crunchy texture. Plenty of chocolate. Chocolate that actually tastes of chocolate. Chocolate is good for your ojos. No obtrusive fluted cups. Paper dragons. Jedi mind tricks.
Cons: Some may not enjoy slight artificial butteriness. Chocolate can get messy. Only seven cookies. Traumatic experiences involving Betty Crocker. Being attacked by a clan of vengeful lobsters.
Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.
Seeing Starburst Fruity Slushies makes me think Starburst and Slurpee should hook up to make some Slurpee-flavored Starburst candy. Also, I think Slurpee and I should hook up to cool me down. (Spotted by Lauren at Walmart.)
Making coffee flavors like apple pie is as American as apple pie. (Spotted by Marvo at Target.)
I think Aquafina should be bananaed from making anymore Flavorsplash flavors with puns. I should also be banned from bad fruit puns. (Spotted by Marvo at Target.)
I didn’t realize frozen vegetable producer Birds Eye made products with actual birds in them. (Spotted by Kassie at Safeway.)
Hey folks who don’t have a discerning palate for wine and don’t mind drinking it out of stemless plastic cups, I think this is a product for you. (Spotted by Charmi at Foodland.)
Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.