REVIEW: Wendy’s Spicy Chipotle Jr. Cheeseburger

Wendy’s Spicy Chipotle Jr. Cheeseburger

Chipotle.

What does it mean?

They tell me it’s a smoked jalapeño, but the word has been repeated so much in recent years, it might as well be Klingon on my tongue. Assembled in an American trend factory, “chipotle” has been introduced to the public, pumped full of hype and then abandoned, surreptitiously left outside to slowly evaporate. My brain doesn’t even register it anymore. It took me three passes to not just read “Wendy’s Spicy Jr. Cheeseburger.” Chipotle. Chipotle. Chipotle. Oh no, I just summoned a Beetlejuice made of peppers.

Standing in line waiting for my order at the local Wendy’s, the question suddenly presents itself: What exactly am I about to eat? And then I look up to see this sign.

Wendy’s Spicy Chipotle Jr. Cheeseburger sign

Thoughts, in order: Is this Russian? I can read “brioche.” Can I … read Russian? Am I in Russia right now? (I am waiting in a line for food, after all). Have I been in Russia my entire life? Does Wendy’s serve cold beet soup? … What is chipotle again? Am I ordering a cheeseburger with a mediocre Mission-style burrito on it? A cheeseburgeritto? Well, at least I know nobody in Russia would come up with “cheeseburgeritto.” I must be in America. Whew. Anyway, I got the cheeseburger and it wasn’t bad!

The Wendy’s website lists the components of the Spicy Chipotle Jr. Cheeseburger in a handy list. “Sandwich bun, junior hamburger patty, spicy burger sauce, pepper jack cheese.” If you’ve dabbled in the Wendy’s value menu before, the bun and patty are familiar. The bun is springy, functional, and inoffensive. The patty is chewy like a warm ground up sponge, but, like, a reasonably tasty sponge. The meat is also noticeably less greasy and flavorful than the non-“Right Price Right Size Menu” burgers.

Oh, boy.

“Right Price Right Size?” Shut it down, Wendy’s. Nobody wants to say that many words. I’ll eat at Wendy’s every day for a year if one person has ever said the name of that menu out loud in casual conversation. (Someone say it! I need an excuse to eat Wendy’s for a year!)

Wendy’s Spicy Chipotle Jr. Cheeseburger Topless

Let’s get to the flavor portion of the pageant. There’s the sauce, cheese and jalapeño, which, in concert, give a decent kick to the burger. While the aforementioned “spicy burger sauce” is a little too mysterious for my liking, it has a hit that immediately dissipates into a soft numb that barely lingers at all. The tiny pile of jalapeño looks like it fell off a truck on the way to a Subway, and definitely exhibits that earthy jalapeño taste, for better or worse. The peppers are sliced but not chopped, and the texture of “full” vegetables along with the spiciness kind of recreate the feeling of eating some sort of torta-burger concoction. The cheese adds a reliable, creamy counterbalance to the bite of the sauce, rounding out the burger.

The Spicy Chipotle Jr. Cheeseburger is a decent choice (great for the price point) but feels a little like a relief pitcher, good enough to get you through a few innings but not the entire game. It has a unique heat that seems to draw inspiration from Mexican sandwiches, rather than the sharp, aggressive burn from most other fast food spicy fare, which almost marginalizes it as a novelty or a side dish. Since it lives on the value menu, perhaps that’s by design.

I would recommend getting this item in a collection of foods, as it serves as a good change-of-pace burger. Okay, we ain’t in Russia for sure. We eat so much we got change-of-pace burgers, y’all. And I’ll eat Wendy’s every day for a year if Vladimir Putin has ever eaten anything that had “chipotle” in its name.

(Nutrition Facts – 340 calories, 170 calories from fat, 18 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 930 milligrams of sodium, 210 milligrams of potassium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of sugar, 2 grams of fiber, and 17 grams of protein.)

Item: Wendy’s Spicy Chipotle Jr. Cheeseburger
Purchased Price: 99 cents
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Wendy’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Great price. Well balanced flavor. Good chance of pace from regular Jr. Cheeseburger.
Cons: Some may not cotton to the taste of jalapeño. Not satisfying enough to eat just one. Saying “Right Price Right Size” out loud. “Chipotle” means nothing. Never learned Russian.

ANNOUNCEMENT: New Reviewer Kevin

Hey, dudes. I’m Kevin and I’ll be reviewing foodstuffs for the Impulsive Buy. I was born in California but went East in search of a Sonic Drive-In. I had to stop at the water and now, about three decades later, I live in New York City. I eat garbage sometimes and I’ve followed this website for a number of years now.

I wrote you a song. You can sing it to the tune of this. Or sing it to any song you want, really. I’m not your boss. I’m your friend! Think of me like … your Chandler. No, like the monkey. No, like the couch they couldn’t get up the stairs in that one episode. Ooh, Aisha Tyler. Archer! Watch Archer, guys. Now on at 10 p.m. on Mondays. FX. Boom.

Oh yeah, the song.

——–

White Castle sliders and biscuits from Popeyes

Untoasted Pop Tarts and Animal Style fries

Stephen Colbert’s pint by Ben and Jerry

These are a few of my favorite eats

Haribo gummies and small tubes of Pringles

Hot dogs from Costco and donuts with sprinkles

Burgers at Wendy’s, please double the meat

These are a few of my favorite eats

M&M pretzel and shrimp chips by Calbee

Oreos stuffed with what smells like Funfetti

Carl’s Jr. battered and fried zucchini

These are a few of my favorite eats

When I work out

When I play sports

When I’m running fast

I simply remember my favorite eats

And that’s why I feel so fat

Breakfast Jack croissant and cones at McDonald’s

Flavor Twist Fritos and Coke in glass bottles

Buttery Hawaiian shortbread cookies

These are a few of my favorite eats

When I dive in

When I kick hard

When I’m swimming laps

I simply remember my favorite eats

And that’s why I feel so fat

——–

I look forward to eating products for you guys and also stockpiling insulin.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – Kellogg’s Limited Edition Birthday Cake Pop-Tarts

Kellogg's Limited Edition Birthday Cake Pop-Tarts

To celebrate the Oreo cookie’s 100th birthday, Nabisco released Birthday Cake Oreo cookies. This year, it’s Pop-Tarts’ 50th birthday and Kellogg’s is celebrating with birthday cake-flavored Pop-Tarts. By the way, it’s also Doritos’ 50th birthday, so I hope Birthday Cake Doritos is in our future. (Spotted by Dubba at Walmart.)

If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

QUICK REVIEW: California Pizza Kitchen Limited Edition Spicy Chipotle Chicken Crispy Thin Crust Pizza

California PIzza Kitchen Limited Edition Spicy Chipotle Chicken Crispy Thin Crust Pizza

Purchased Price: $5.99 (on sale)
Size: 14.1 oz.
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Pleasant sweet and smoky sauce with a hint of lime. Nice crispy crust. Long list of toppings (white meat chicken, roasted corn, black beans, poblano peppers, fire-roasted red and yellow peppers, cilantro, mozzarella, parmesan, asiago, and romano cheeses, and a spicy chipotle lime sauce). Preservative-free crust.
Cons: Not spicy at all. It would make the Spicy Chipotle Chicken pizza available at California Pizza Kitchen restaurants cry because this frozen version is a poor representation of it. Nice long list of toppings didn’t translate into a pizza with a complex flavor. Not a lot of chicken. Had to manually move toppings to get an even distribution.

California PIzza Kitchen Limited Edition Spicy Chipotle Chicken Crispy Thin Crust Pizza Closeup

Nutrition Facts: 1/3 pizza – 270 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 570 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, 15 grams of protein, 6% vitamin A, 8% vitamin C, 20% calcium, and 10% iron.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – Nabisco Lemon Oreo

Nabisco Lemon Oreo

I wonder if there’s any difference between these and the Limited Edition Lemon Twist Oreo Cookies that have shown up for a limited time the past two years. Also, Nabisco should team up with a cleaning company to make Lemon Oreo scented cleaners. (Spotted by Lindsay at Walmart.)

If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.