SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 9/25/2013

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

Hell's Kitchen Creme Brulee Kits

I don’t think I’ve seen Gordon Ramsay yell at someone in Hell’s Kitchen for (bleep) up creme brûlée. Risotto, yes. Beef Wellington, yes. Lamb, yes. (Spotted by Sara at Walmart.)

Emerald on the Go! Peanut Butter & Jelly

Yes! Something peanut butter and jelly flavored that has no peanut butter or jelly. It’s the future, man! (Spotted by Joshua at Walmart.)

Kraft Shake 'n Bake Seasoned Panko

But panko is sooooo much better when it’s applied ‘n fried. (Spotted by Sara at Walmart.)

Werther's Originals Baking Caramels

Werther's Original Caramel Specialties Soft Chocolate Caramel

I guess I can chew on one while waiting for the other to melt. (Spotted by Lindsay at Meijer and Sara at Walgreens.)

Nestle Drumstick Peanut Butter Variety

That vanilla one seems out of place in this box of Peanut Butter Variety Drumsticks. (Spotted by Elizabeth at Walmart.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

REVIEW: Burger King Satisfries

Burger King Satisfries

I have to admit “Satisfries” is a very clever name for Burger King’s latest addition to their sides menu. Or perhaps I should say its name gratifries my wordplay bone. Yes, I could fill this review with words that end with -fries, but the thought of that probably horrifries many. So this sentence signifries the end of me using anymore words I’ve made up using the suffix -fries.

Burger King’s Satisfries look like your typical crinkle-cut fries, but it’s what you don’t see that’s being promoted heavily by the fast food company. According to Burger King’s website in a big, bold font, Satisfries have 40 percent less fat and 30 percent less calories than McDonald’s fries. They also have 20 percent less calories and 25 percent less fat than Burger King’s classic fries, even though they’re cooked in the same fryers, same oil, for the same amount of time as the non-crinkled fries.

So what fast food magic allows Satisfries to have less fat and calories? According to Burger King, these new fries use a less porous batter to keep out more oil during cooking. So how are these crinkle-cut fries that sound like they’ve been through a culinary Oxy acne treatment?

I like them. In fact, I like them more than BK’s classic fries. Although, to be honest, I don’t think too highly of them.

Burger King Satisfries Innards

They have a better potato flavor than Burger King’s classic fries and because they’re thicker there’s a lot of hot and fluffy goodness inside. It’s almost as if they’ve been stuffed with mashed potatoes. Satisfries go great with ketchup (and Burger King’s Zesty sauce) and have a pleasant crisp exterior, however I think BK’s classic fries are crispier and salted better. The first few Satisfries I ate were salted well, but as I made my way through the sleeve, they seemed to be less salty.

However, while Satisfries have significantly less calories and fat than McDonald’s fries, I don’t think they have the flavor to make my taste buds crave them instead of McDonald’s starchy offering. They taste too similar to the frozen crinkle-cut fries I can prepare in my oven.

Burger King Satisfries Classic Fries

You also have to pay a premium for them. They’re 10 to 30 cents more expensive than Burger King’s classic fries and there’s an upcharge if you want them with your value meal.

Personally, I think Burger King should make their Satisfries the same price as their classic fries and then have the two battle it out for the hearts and wallets of consumers. The product that sells better wins and becomes Burger King’s only fries and the loser is banished from the fast food world and promises to never return, not even for a limited time, joining Burger King’s pre-2011 fries and The King mascot.

I hope Burger King’s Satisfries sell well and takes its rightful place as the fast food chain’s default fries. They’re better tasting, better for you, and have a better name than their classic fries. Also, having two different fries on the menu that have almost the same flavor profile stupefries me.

Sorry. I couldn’t help myself.

(Nutrition Facts – medium size – 340 calories, 120 calories from fat, 14 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 370 milligrams of sodium, 51 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.)

Item: Burger King Satisfries
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: Medium
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Better potato flavor than Burger King’s classic fries. Clever name. Less calories and fat than McDonald’s fries and BK’s classic fries. Hot and fluffy innards. Crispy exterior. Not using diversifries, exemplifries, and identifries in this review.
Cons: Pricier than Burger King’s classic fries. Not as crispy and salty as BK’s classic fries. Still not as good as McDonald’s fries. Autocorrect correcting every attempt to type Satisfries.

QUICK REVIEW: Limited Edition Pillsbury Caramel Apple Toaster Strudel

Limited Edition Pillsbury Caramel Apple Toaster Strudel

Purchased Price: $2.00 (on sale)
Size: 6 pastries
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Sweet caramel icing prevents this Toaster Strudel from headin’ on down to Blandville. Gooey filling and icing. Crispy, flaky, and slightly buttery exterior when toasted properly. Being able to sign your name on a Toaster Strudel with an icing packet.
Cons: Apple filing was light on flavor. Caramel icing has more flavor than the apple filling. Apple filling doesn’t have tiny bits of apple to add a bit more texture. Takes longer to prepare in the toaster than Pop-Tarts. Made with hydrogenated oil.

Limited Edition Pillsbury Caramel Apple Toaster Strudel Closeup

Nutrition Facts: 1 pastry with icing – 170 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 2 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein.

*made with hydrogenated oil which adds a small amount of trans fat.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES (PUMPKIN EDITION) – 9/24/2013

Here are some new pumpkin-flavored products and interesting seasonal products we’ve previously covered that are back on shelves this year. These were found by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

Market Pantry Pumpkin Cheesecake Creme Sandwich Cookies

Market Pantry Pumpkin Cereal Bars

Suck it, Oreo and Nutri-grain! Market Pantry beat you to it! Junk Food Guy has a Market Pantry Pumpkin Cheesecake Cookies review. (Spotted by Sara at Target.)

Pillsbury Supreme Collection Pumpkin Creme

Wait a minute…it has vanilla creme, not pumpkin creme? Disappointed. Sad face. (Spotted by Wayne at Ralph’s.)

Thomas' Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice English Muffins

Would it be weird if I topped these with ham, egg, and cheese to make a breakfast sandwich? (Spotted by Lindsay at Walmart.)

Krusteaz Pumpkin PIe Bar

“New!” More like “New?” See here and here.
(Spotted by Melissa at Target.)

Entenmann's Iced Pumpkin Cake

Entenmann's Pumpkin Donuts

PumpkEntenmann’s! BOOM! Trademark dat! (Spotted by Kelcey at The Fresh Grocer.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

REVIEW: Special K Nourish Maple Brown Sugar Crunch Hot Cereal

Kellogg's Special K Maple Brown Sugar Crunch Nourish Hot Cereal

You may be asking: Why in all the magical golden coins of Super Mario would I want to buy two bowls of portable oatmeal with some mix-ins?

Well, that just brings up a slew of other questions: Why fry a Snickers? Why make your own piñata? Why learn to surf in a pool of whale sharks? Why, in fact, should you do anything? I’ll tell you why: because you are a great human. You want to reach higher. To be all you can be. To walk into work not only with your shoes on the right feet, but with a little kick that says “I am a great human and I am here to change the world.” And how, with a 1:30 bedtime and a 4:30 wake-up call, can you have the consciousness to do that?

Kellogg's Special K Maple Brown Sugar Crunch Nourish Hot Cereal Cup

Breakfast.

Preparing to fully bank on this need for early morning sustenance, Special K’s kicked out this new line of oatmeal so you can microwave a bowl of whole grains in your office, dorm, or as you brush your hair before dashing out the door, spooning mouthfuls as you swerve through the 7:30 traffic, without even grabbing a bowl. And this spurs the next question: Is it worth it?

That depends.

Kellogg's Special K Maple Brown Sugar Crunch Nourish Hot Cereal Closeup

On first glance, I figured there’s nothing revolutionary going on here. It’s just a mushy, but oddly comforting bowl of cooked oats, right? Oh how wrong I was. Underneath the goopy exterior rests an amalgam of grains that stretches the vocabulary of Kansas agriculture: there’s oats, some wheat, barley, and even quinoa, which I appreciate because it has a “Q” in it. Q words are so hard to come by these days.

While there were four grains in there, the sweet, malty oats still stand at the forefront of flavor. I was quite pleased that Special K opted for whole oats rather than the puny chopped up instant ones, which often make me feel underappreciated and begging for more like a character in a Dickens novel.

The accompanying mix-ins include two packets of toasted almonds, which, while a bit flavorless in their unsalted way, serve as quality crunch nubbins, and the separated dual packets of almonds allowed me to plop one segment in the top half of the oatmeal while saving some for the bottom, thus preventing Boring Bottom Half of Oatmeal Syndrome.

Unfortunately, there’s no actual maple syrup involved here. Instead, the oatmeal is swirled with what I imagine are little dehydrated maple crystals that, when looked at under a microscope, might be mistaken for those frightening rhinestones people put on their cell phones that blind you on a sunny day. While the maple bits add a nice smell of maple to the air, the sugar-y-ness of maple is subdued after preparation, but let’s face it: dehydrated maple bits are no substitute for the Grade-B Vermont liquid gold.

Otherwise, this is pretty successful in that straightforward, no frills way, even if there were only two bowls. The almonds stay fresh in their little compartments and the single serving allows me to stuff the bowl in my bag in the morning while running out the door. It can be prepared in the microwave or, if you wanna get fancy, the bowl provides directions for steeping.

As with all microwave oatmeal, you can whip it up with your liquid of choice, be it water, milk, coffee (and excellent choice), or, depending on the time of day and your mood, maple syrup’s best friend: bourbon. If you’re passing by a McDonald’s or keep a slab of pork belly in your employer’s mini fridge (not that I do…), a side of crispy bacon would make an excellent pairing.

As fall whisks its merciless wind through the tethers of my flimsy cardigan, this oatmeal seems perfectly timed. It’s warm, hearty brain food that I can grab on the way out the door. I don’t see myself buying this all the time, but it makes me feel cozy enough to wear footie pajamas to work. In fact, perhaps I will! Tomorrow! If you see me in my footie pajamas on the subway, know that I am not committing an act of defiance. It is merely a symptom of being filled with hot cereal.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 container– 190 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 170 milligrams of potassium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 5 gram of dietary fiber, 11 grams of sugars, and 8 grams of protein.)

Item: Special K Nourish Maple Brown Sugar Crunch Hot Cereal
Purchased Price: $2.78
Size: 2 pack
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: No frills. Easy to prepare. Big whole oats. Crunchy almonds. Magically dissolving maple-y bits. Slabs of pork belly. The option of preparing with bourbon. Making a piñata. Wearing footie pajamas to work.
Cons: Only 2 bowls. No actual maple syrup. 4:30 wake-up calls. Feeling like a character in a Dickens novel. Endangered “Q” words. Being blinded by cell phone bling.