REVIEW LIGHTNING ROUND (FREEZER AISLE EDITION) – 2/12/2013

Here are some quick reviews of new-ish stuff in the freezer aisle we’re too lazy to write full reviews for:

Yoplait Strawberry Original Frozen Yogurt

Item: Yoplait Strawberry Original Frozen Yogurt
Purchased Price: $3.99 (on sale)
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Tastes almost exactly like regular Yoplait strawberry yogurt. Live and active cultures. Real strawberries mixed in. It’s a pint, not 14 ounces, like some other companies. Don’t have to deal with the stupid lip Yoplait yogurt cups have that prevent you from getting every bit of yogurt.
Cons: Tastes too similar to regular Yoplait strawberry yogurt. Not as creamy as other frozen yogurt. A bit too airy. Replacing daily regular yogurt consumption with daily frozen yogurt consumption.
Other reviews: On Second Scoop, Fro-Yo Girl

Kellogg's Blueberry Eggo Drizzlers

Item: Kellogg’s Eggo Drizzlers Blueberry Waffles
Purchased Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Size: 6 waffles & 3 topping packets
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Traditional Eggo waffles. Not having to use teeth to open topping packet. Fortified with vitamins and minerals. Topping made with real fruit and slightly better for you than syrups named after women.
Cons: Just regular Eggo waffles; no blueberries baked in. Topping didn’t have much flavor and might have a hard time satisfying a sweet tooth. If you eat two waffles at a time, a box will last you only three breakfasts.

Lean Cuisine Bistro Chicken Salad Additions

Item: Lean Cuisine Bistro Chicken Salad Additions
Purchased Price: $3.99 (on sale)
Size: 7 1/2 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Vegetables! Easy and quick to prepare. Vegetables! Crispy onion straws had more flavor than chicken. Vegetables. Yellow carrots sound exotic.
Cons: Hot vegetables mixed with chilled vegetables is a weird combination. Bacon in dressing is a step down from having real bacon bits. Crispy onion straws had more flavor than chicken. Dressing takes awhile to fully thaw. Crispy onion straws look more like crispy onion random shapes. Asparagus will make you pee smell.

Limited Edition Eggo Chocolatey Chocolate Chip Wafflers Waffles

Item: Kellogg’s Eggo Chocolatey Chocolate Chip Wafflers
Purchased Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Size: 8 waffles
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Fine eating without syrup. Makes a wonderful aroma come out of your toaster. Fortified with vitamins and minerals. Chocolate chips in every bite. Syrup isn’t necessary, but it does enhance its flavor. Trick people into thinking you’re eating burnt waffles.
Cons: Not really packed with flavor. It’s good enough that I’m sad they’re limited edition. Hard to tell if you’re overcooking these in the toaster. Being tricked into thinking someone is eating burnt waffles.

REVIEW: Nabisco Limited Edition Mega Stuf Oreo

Mega Stuf Oreo

Update 1/19/2019: If you’re looking for Oreo The Most Stuff, click here to read our review.

Believe it or not, there was a time when the Double Stuf Oreo was considered the pinnacle of modern mass-produced cookie engineering. Long before the Manning brothers failed to translate their quarterbacking prowess in a misguided career move to make history with the Double Stuf Racing League, and way before Double Stuf Oreos morphed into the template for every flavor filling this side of red velvet cake*, the concept of an Oreo cookie with twice the normal crème filling was something to marvel at.

*Calling it now, within the next five years, we will see an Oreo with this filling.

Those days are long gone, however, as the Double Stuff Oreo has become, in essence, the default Oreo. I mean really. Aside from sentimental old people who meticulously stick to a pre-bedtime routine of dunking exactly three Oreos in milk, does anyone really think they’re getting the full cookies and cream experience by eating the “original” Oreo cookie?

I sure as hell don’t.

What’s more, those who favor the cream element of cookies and cream are feeling shortchanged. You know how I know that? Because there’s a crapload of perfectly sane people out there who’ve resorted to hacking Oreos for the sake of maximizing their Oreo creme to cookie ratio. Heck, I’d probably be one of those people if I didn’t feel so bad about wasting all those chocolate wafer leftovers or incessantly worrying about straining my jaw muscles in an attempt to shove a Duodecuple Stuf Oreo into my mouth.

Mega Stuf Oreo Closeup

I guess Nabisco has finally noticed. Like Kurt Bozwell calling for bigger Mondo Burgers in the 1997 smash-hit Good Burger, the company has responded for our insatiable appetite for more creme filling by introducing the Limited Edition Mega Stuf Oreo.  Considering it’s been about a month since the whole Birthday Cake Oreo thing came out in Golden Oreo form, you might just say Nabisco has killed two birds with one stone by fulfilling their need for a new monthly Limited Edition flavor. Alas, and here I was hoping we’d be getting a triple dark chocolate ganache filling in honor of Valentine’s Day…

Being both the Oreo aficionado and failed investigative journalist I am, I was quite intent to take the Mega Stuf Oreo to task and see if it really would withstand more licks to dissolve the filling than the classic Double Stuf Oreo. Because I have the patience of a pre-snap read Peyton Manning, however, I was completely unable to subject my tongue to the kind of attrition needed to lick through both a Mega Stuf Oreo and Double Stuf Oreo in one sitting. So I just decided to weigh each Oreo to make it easier.

Mega Stuf Oreo vs Double Stuf Oreo

The Mega Stuf Oreo weighed in at the advertised 18 grams per cookie, while the Double Stuf Oreo comes in at 15 grams per cookie (slightly above advertised weight.) After separating the creme fillings from the wafers, I discovered the Mega Stuf filling weighs in at 12 grams, while the Double Stuf filling packs only 7 grams. That’s a 52.6% increase in filling right there, which, if you ask me, is a pretty big deal if you find yourself squarely on the side of the crème side of the cookies vs. crème debate.

Thing is, this is exactly the kind of cookie to push me to the opposite side of the debate, because I just don’t see the point in having a Mega Stuf filling over a Double Stuf filling. I also don’t see the point in spelling “stuff” with only one “F,” but that’s a different story for the next Limited Edition Oreo review.

Mega Stuf Oreo In Package

As for the Oreos themselves, forget for a second that the fillings, and the cookies, taste exactly the same. Never mind for a moment that by biting into a single Mega Stuf Oreo you’re getting as much sugar as a bowl of Peanut Butter Toast Crunch. Put aside, if for only a moment, the overly crumbling nature of the cookie wafer, and the fact that it splits apart too easily with that annoying overstuffed sandwich syndrome that renders the chocolate cookie pretty much useless. How about just considering that a single package of Mega Stuf Oreos contains ten fewer cookies than a package of Double Stuf Oreos?

I don’t care where you fall on the crème vs. cookie side of the fence, because as far as I can tell, ten less cookies means bad for all of us Oreo lovers.

With that being said, I still liked the Mega Stuf Oreo a lot, mostly because they taste exactly like Double Stuf Oreos. I just wish I wasn’t getting shortchanged on my cookie count per container, because as any Oreo lover with tell you, bigger only means better if it means a bigger box of cookies.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 180 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 4 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 40 milligrams of potassium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of fiber, 18 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.)

Other Mega Stuf Oreo reviews:
Junk Food Guy

Item: Nabisco Limited Edition Mega Stuf Oreo
Purchased Price: $2.98
Size: 13.2 ounces
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Classic Double Stuf Oreo taste is preserved. Crunchy chocolate cookie. More lickable filling than Double Stuf Oreos. Real world math applications. Making history.
Cons: Probably too sweet for some. Cookie has a tendency to shatter quite easily. Still not understanding the difference between ‘cream’ vs. ‘crème.’ Spelling “stuff” with only one “F.” Grumpy old people set in their cookie ways. Ten fewer Oreos per package than Double Stuf Oreos.

REVIEW: Nabisco Birthday Cake Golden Oreo

Birthday Cake Golden Oreo

Something must’ve been floating in the air in 1912.

The Dixie cup was invented. The Girl Scouts were established. Frederick Law parachuted from the Statue of Liberty. And yet, even in the shadow of these noble, brazen, and/or semi-foolish ventures, Nabisco was able to hunker down and focus their energies on the subconscious needs of the people: cookie sandwiches.

Ever since then, the Oreo’s been dominating the sandwich cookie aisle like the reincarnation of Napoleon, and, by gum, Nabisco’s excited about it. So excited that they’ve taken their funfetti frosting celebration in the “original” Birthday Cake Oreo and extended it to its little brother: the golden cookie.

If you are new to planet Earth, welcome! This is an example of an Oreo, a dessert-like sandwich consisting of two wafer cookies dressed to the nines in sugar and smacked together with a sensible slab of frosting. In this case, it’s two “golden” (vanilla-flavored) cookies with a sprinkled white frosting.

Birthday Cake Golden Oreo Tab

Behold, the seal holding your golden gods, grasped in their file-cabinet-like tray.

Pre-opening, the package smells like package. Upon opening…

Birthday Cake Golden Oreo Closeup

Holy Jupiter on a motorbike, the waft of Pillsbury cake mix eschewing from this bag could be condensed and sold as a car freshener. Gotta give it to them: they really nailed the aesthetics of boxed yellow cake mix and canned frosting. It smells a little like flour. A little like vanilla pudding. A little chemically. Mmmm. Smell the childhood…

Pre-tasting, I must say the aesthetics of this cookie broaden my horizons: the beige cookie makes me feel safe while the sprinkles in the frosting remind me that change is okay. It has the classic Oreo design, which, according to various internet musings, has Masonic-inspired meaning that could serve well in a Dan Brown novel. A hefty 1/3 of them is crème filling, which is a comfortable ratio. On my good days, I, too, am 1/3 crème filling.

The cookie tastes mainly of flour. There’s definitely a slight artificial hit of vanilla, something that hits between flowers, plastic, and kindergarten. Pleasant enough, but it didn’t quite live up to the smell. The crispity little speckles of multicolored sprinkles add a new textural crinkle and the frosting disc is sweet in that familiar, semi-threatening, “I’m gonna melt your molars! And your canines! And your other teeth!” kinda way, which adds a certain risk to the eating process, and what, oh daring venturer, is life without a little risk?

Birthday Cake Golden Oreo Topless

Very few foods have banked as much as Oreo on the specific techniques of consumption, which are varied as all the elephants on the Island of Misfit Toys. I go in the following order: eat top cookie, consume middle 1/3 of icing, break bottom cookie down the middle of “icing road,” smoosh bottom cookie icing remnants together (like a half sandwich cookie), eat Frankenstein half-cookie, consume beverage, repeat. As with the classic, the twist on these is, with the exception of one or two fuddle-duds, exceptional, each cookie leaving it’s own footprint behind for consumption. There’s a reason Oreo’s 100. This is one of them.

I suspect that, with each passing year we get one percent more awesome, which will make Oreo 101 percent awesome this March. I think this calls forth celebration. These may not be spectacular, but they are festive and ring in a small hoorah for the year passed. They remain true to the Oreo and, thus, the likelihood that they will suck is about as likely as being squashed by gigantic barrels of vinegar. It may not flip the sandwich cookie world on its head, but it’s pleasant with a glass of chocolate milk and there’s certainly nothing offensive about that.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 150 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 15 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 12 grams of sugars, and less than one gram of protein.)

Item: Nabisco Birthday Cake Golden Oreo
Purchased Price: $3.25
Size: 15.25 oz. package
Purchased at: Harris Teeter
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Crispity sprinkles. Good ratio of crème. Nice twist. Parachuting from the Statue of Liberty. Dixie Cups. Elephants on the Island of Misfit Toys.

Cons: Doesn’t live up to the smell. Cookies underwhelming. Perhaps too sweet. Being squashed by barrels of vinegar.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 2/11/2013

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers.

Oreo Mega Stuff

A few years ago I dreamt about Oreo coming out with Oreo cookies with thicker filling, but in my dream it was called Quad Stuf. And in the same dream I imagined Gillette came out with a new razor called OchoRazo. (Spotted by Max at Stop and Shop.)

Golden Oreo Mega Stuf

Also, in the same dream, there were Golden Oreo Quad Stuf cookies made out of real gold, but were on sale for $3.99. Then I kept asking Cap’n Crunch if I should buy them all because they were so cheap. He said I should because he had a lot of room on his ship. (Spotted by Christian at Stater Brothers.)

Dole Banana Dippers

Wait a minute. These Dole Banana Dippers have already been dipped. Shouldn’t they be called Dole Banana Dippeders? (Spotted by Melissa at Publix.)

YoCrunch Waffle Bites

Great breakfast combo, eh? I can think of a greater breakfast combo — eggs, bacon, hash browns, orange juice to wash down high blood pressure medication, and the daily Jumble puzzle. (Spotted by Linda at Safeway.)

YoCrunch Yopa! with Dark Chocolate

YoCrunch needs to make a Yopa! Greek yogurt with Chips Ahoy! or Wild! Strawberry Pop-Tarts. (Spotted by Marvo at Safeway.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf (or really unusual), snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES (STORE BRAND EDITION) – 2/8/2013

Here are some interesting new and limited edition store brand products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers.

Archer Farms Sweet Potato Tortilla Chips

At a quick glance you may think these are sweet potato chips, but they’re not. They are sweet potato-flavored tortilla chips. I wish they were sweet potato chips. (Spotted by Marvo at Target.)

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I’m pretty sure it takes more than a coffee called Cupid’s Blend to win someone’s heart. It probably involves cooking the rest of the breakfast to go along with the coffee. (Spotted by Marvo at Target.)

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Thanks, Target. Thanks for making your snack bar aisle more of a clusterfluff. But seriously, these look kind of good. (Spotted by Marvo at Target.)

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Doesn’t pasta do enough for us? They give us carbs, make Italian restaurant menus much more fun to read, and if I have more than ten in my pantry, they make me look like a foodie. Do we have to make them provide us with calcium, vitamin D, and fiber? (Spotted by Marvo at Safeway.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf (or really unusual), snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.