The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Hot Cinnamon Shake

February 7, 2013September 5, 2023 Marvo 6 Comments

If you look at Jack in the Box’s Hot Cinnamon Shake, it’s hard not to think to yourself, “Damn! It looks like someone went crazy with a bottle of Red 40 food dye!”

Or “Damn! Is Jack in the Box promoting a new Hellboy movie?”

Or “OMG! It like totally matches my Afternoon Delight Red nail polish! Who said the Hot Cinnamon Shake can wear my color? Ugh, now I have to find a new nail polish. Why is the Hot Cinnamon Shake being such a bitch?”

Jack in the Box’s Hot Cinnamon Shake is one-third of the Hot Mess menu items just released, which also includes the Hot Mess Burger and Hot Mess Wedges.

Yes, you can get them as a combo and, for those of you counting at home, if you purchase a Hot Mess combo you will have in front of you 2,297 calories, 143 grams of fat, 60 grams of saturated fat, 4 grams of trans fat, and 2,515 milligrams of sodium. Enjoy.

If you’re familiar with Hot Tamales, the spicy cinnamon candy, or Big Red, the cinnamon gum, then you’ll also be familiar with the flavor of this heavy Red 40 dye infused shake. With each suck of the straw, the Hot Cinnamon Shake played good cop/bad cop with my tongue. It starts off being Olivia Benson-sweet, making you think you’re eating Cinnabon. Then…BAM…the shake hits you with Elliot Stabler-fire.

I’m sorry. I’ve been watching A LOT of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit on Netflix Instant Streaming.

Okay, to be honest, the heat is not as intense as Elliot Stabler or Hot Tamales, but it’s like Big Red gum, which to me is a bit mild. The heat did linger in my mouth for several minutes after finishing the shake, which made me wonder if it worked like Big Red gum and made my breath smell like cinnamon. Unfortunately, I had no one nearby to check.

The Jack in the Box Hot Cinnamon Shake’s color may make it look evil, but I assure you it’s a delightful treat if you’re a fan of spicy cinnamon stuff.

(Nutrition Facts – 16 ounces – 788 calories, 360 calories from fat, 40 grams of fat, 28 grams of saturated fat, 2 grams of trans fat, 127 milligrams of cholesterol, 271 milligrams of sodium, 689 milligrams of potassium, 92 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 78 grams of sugar, and 12 grams of protein.)

Other Jack in the Box Hot Cinnamon Shake reviews:
Man Reviews Food
Brand Eating

Item: Jack in the Box Hot Cinnamon Shake
Purchased Price: $3.59
Size: 16 ounces
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Delightful treat if you’re a Big Red fan. Sweet cinnamon start makes it taste like Cinnabon. Spiciness is similar to Big Red gum. Netflix Instant Streaming.
Cons: Dark red color makes it look evil. Awesome source of trans fat. Like, totally stealing my color. Consuming a Hot Mess combo. A significant other wanting to make love after watching an episode of Law & Order: SVU.

REVIEW LIGHTNING ROUND (SNACK BAR EDITION) – 2/7/2013

February 7, 2013April 30, 2021 Marvo 2 Comments

Here are some quick reviews of new snack bars we’re too lazy to write full reviews for:

Item: Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Strawberry Parfait Fruit Crunch Granola Bars
Purchased Price: $2.79
Size: 5 pack
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Pretty much tastes like a regular granola bar. Crunchy. Has some fiber. It has dried cranberries. Thank goodness it’s not another Nutri-Grain cereal bar.
Cons: Super long name. Strawberry may be in its long name, but strawberry flavor was lacking. Made with partially hydrogenated oils. Not sure eating a pack is worth the 20% of my daily recommended intake of saturated fat.
Other reviews: Crazy Food Dude

Item: Kellogg’s Special K Berry Streusel Pastry Crisps
Purchased Price: $3.79
Size: 5 pack
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Flavor reminds me of a Pop-Tart. Nice berry flavor. 1000 times better tasting than regular Special K cereal. Crispy and light. Only 100 calories and two grams of fat per pack. Kind of makes me want to go on the Special K diet again.
Cons: Flavor reminds me of a Pop-Tart. Why isn’t it called Blackberry Streusel since that’s the only berry in it? Contains no fiber. Makes me yearn for a Pop-Tart.

Item: Nabisco Honey Maid Strawberry Yogurt Creme Grahamfuls
Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: 8 pack
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Nice slightly tart strawberry flavor. Creme does taste like strawberry yogurt. 100% whole grain. Good source of calcium. If you hate HFCS, you’ll be happy to hear these don’t contain any.
Cons: Yogurt in them is really yogurt powder. It’s a crumb-making machine. Contains the somewhat confusing “Natural Flavor with Other Natural Flavor.” If you’re a corn farmer, you might be sad they don’t contain HFCS.

REVIEW: McDonald’s Fish McBites

February 6, 2013September 4, 2023 Marvo 9 Comments

If my subscription to Men’s Health Magazine has taught me anything it’s that I should eat fish regularly and Men’s Health will never run out of six-pack abs articles. Never.

My fish intake involves me consuming salmon once a week, occasionally enjoying sushi that’s served on a conveyor belt, and eating a local delicacy called poke (pronounced POH-keh), which is raw fish mixed with spices, sauces, and onions. However, my recent fish intake included McDonald’s Fish McBites.

Yes, I know breaded fried fish is probably not what Men’s Health Magazine had in mind when it comes to fish I should eat. But I also learned from reading Men’s Health that it’s okay to cheat once in a while.

Or maybe I read that in Infidelity Monthly Magazine, which, by the way, will never run out of how to cheat articles. Never.

The fish inside each Fish McBite is pollock (or Colin if you live in the UK), which is the same fish found in McDonald’s Filet-o-Fish and most frozen fish sticks. If you’re into sustainable food production, McDonald’s recently announced that the wild-caught Alaskan pollock they use is now Marine Stewardship Council (MSC) certified. That means McDonald’s gets its fish from suppliers that have to meet strict MSC standards. What are those standards? You ask too many questions. Read this.

The Fish McBites’ breaded exterior is different than what’s on McDonald’s Chicken McBites. It looks more like Shake & Bake than fried chicken. Also, while the Chicken McBites came in a salmagundi of sizes and shapes, the Fish McBites’ size and shape are uniform. The breading gives the popcorn fish a nice crunch, but I thought it lacked flavor. I would’ve liked it to have enough flavor that I wouldn’t feel the need to dip it into the provided tartar sauce.

The fish encased in the crunchy, somewhat flavorless breading is flaky. No. Super flaky. It falls apart so easily that it’s extremely hard to double dip these Fish McBites. Also, the breading has a hard time sticking to the fish. So if you’re a double dipper, you’re going to experience pieces of fish and/or breading falling into your container of tartar sauce and using your fingers to fish (pun not intended…okay it was) them out. Of course, this isn’t a problem if you dip one into the tartar sauce and then pop the whole thing in your mouth.

If you enjoy Filet-o-Fish sandwiches, then you’ll know how fishy these taste. I thought the Fish McBites and tartar sauce combination was tasty, but, again, I do wish the breading had a stronger flavor to make them taste less similar to a McDonald’s fish sandwich. If you do try them, might I recommend getting them with a different sauce or ordering some McDonald’s fries with them, breaking out a bottle of malt vinegar, and McHacking some fish ‘n chips.

(Nutrition Facts – Regular Size – 370 calories, 180 calories from fat, 20 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 630 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of sugar, 2 grams of fiber, and 17 grams of protein.)

Other McDonald’s Fish McBites reviews:
An Immovable Feast
Grub Grade
Brand Eating

Item: McDonald’s Fish McBites
Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: Regular Size
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Fish McBites and tartar sauce combo was tasty. Slightly better for you than Chicken McBites. Pleasantly crunchy exterior. Uniform shape and size. Eating fish once a week, but not fried fish.
Cons: Easily falls apart, making them hard to double dip. Breading needs more flavor. Super flaky. Breading doesn’t stick to fish well. Fishing out pieces of fish and breading from the container of tartar sauce. I don’t have six pack abs after years of having a Men’s Health subscription.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 2/6/2013

February 6, 2013December 24, 2020 Marvo 5 Comments

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers.

The Limited Edition Frosted Wild Berry Bloom Pop-Tarts are so pretty and pastel that I want to hide them in a yard and have children look for them. (Spotted by Marvo at Target.)

If you’re a fan of strawberry banana, you could wait for Honey Maid to come out with a strawberry banana creme Grahamfuls. Or you could take these Strawberry Yogurt Creme Grahamfuls and combine them with Banana Vanilla Creme Grahamfuls. (Spotted by Marvo at Target.)

I love berries, so I hope these Very Berry Starburst are berry good. Oh, did you see what I did there? I know, that was unberryble. Oh, I did it again. This paragraph probably makes you want to berry me alive. I’m berry sorry. (Spotted by Marvo at Target.)

Usually, I don’t cover products that have been available for about a year, but I’m a sucker for hot and spicy products. And pickles. And saying the name “Claussen” over and over. And saying the word “pickles” over and over. Here’s a review of the pickles.. (Spotted by Dusty at Walmart.)

The internet tells me eating one ounce of these Blue Diamond Coffee Almonds will give me the same amount of caffeine in two ounces of coffee. The internet also tells me almonds are a great source of vitamin E. Unfortunately, the internet can’t tell me if these Coffee Almonds are any good. (Spotted by Jamie at Target.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf (or really unusual), snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

REVIEW: Pizza Hut Big Pizza Sliders

February 5, 2013August 14, 2023 Marvo 14 Comments

These Pizza Hut Pizza Sliders are so cute. Wook at how wittle they are. Who’s a wittle pizza? You’re a wittle pizza!

How wittle are each Pizza Slider?

The mini pizzas are 3.5 inches across and about a inch tall. To give you an idea of how big that is, a Pizza Hut Personal Pan Pizza is six inches in diameter.

Oh, that’s not enough to satisfy your pizza-eating, number-crunching brain?

Well then, according to the Pizza Hut website, a Pizza Hut Pepperoni Personal Pan Pizza weighs 201 grams (or 7.1 ounces) and, according to my heavily used postal scale covered in a thin layer of white powder, one Pizza Hut Pizza Slider topped with cheese and pepperoni weighs 68 grams (or 2.4 ounces). As you can see, there’s a significant difference in size. However, the Pizza Hut Pizza Sliders are available with three or nine pieces. So, if I were to use the power of addition, it turns out three Pizza Sliders weigh 204 grams (7.2 ounces) or roughly the same as a Pizza Hut Pepperoni Personal Pan Pizza.

Math!

With the Pizza Sliders, you’re allowed up to three topping in three different topping combinations. Although, if you want to be complete asshat to a Pizza Hut employee, you can do so by ordering the nine-piece Pizza Hut Pizza Sliders and asking to have each one customized. I’m not an asshat so picked up the nine-piece Pizza Sliders and asked for three pizzas with pepperoni, three with sausage, and the last three with sausage, red onions, and tomatoes.

If you’re familiar with Pizza Hut pizza, then you’ll pretty much know what Pizza Hut Pizza Sliders taste like. The pepperoni and sausage ones I ordered tasted just like regular pepperoni and sausage pizzas from Pizza Hut. Although I thought the crust wasn’t as buttery and crispy as a Pizza Hut Pan Pizza’s crust. Also, each pizza didn’t have much sauce underneath the cheese. If I were to order this again, I’d spend the extra cash and get a dipping sauce to make them a little more exciting.

Overall, Pizza Hut’s Pizza Sliders are good, if you enjoy Pizza Hut pizza because they taste just like Pizza Hut pizza. However, because they taste just like Pizza Hut pizza, they aren’t very noteworthy.

(Nutrition Facts – It’s Pizza Hut pizza, so don’t imagine it’s healthy food.)

Other Pizza Hut Pizza Sliders reviews:
Grub Grade

Item: Pizza Hut Big Pizza Sliders
Purchased Price: $12.00 (for nine)*
Size: 9 Pizza Sliders
Purchased at: Pizza Hut
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Adorable. Tastes just like regular Pizza Hut pizza. Three Pizza Sliders are the same weight as a Personal Pan Pizza. Allows you to test different topping combinations. Math!
Cons: Crust less buttery and crispy than Pizza Hut Pan Pizzas. Not very innovative. Didn’t have much sauce under the cheese. Only allowed three different topping combinations. Asshats who ask to customize all nine Pizza Sliders.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, I pay more for things. You’ll probably pay $10, like most of the country will.

Basic