The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: YoCrunch Vanilla Nonfat Yogurt with Mott’s Strawberry Applesauce

January 3, 2013December 24, 2020 Margaret 1 Comment

(Margaret stands alone, staring up at the dairy aisle. Her mom patters behind her, shopping for holiday groceries. Mom spots the yogurt product standing before her daughter, stops, leans in, and whispers)

MOM: “You sure you wanna do that?”

MARGARET: “No…but I will.”

And with that, I grabbed the box of four compartmentalized containers of congealed dairy product, swiped through the self-checkout, snapped into my car, and shot into the mid-day sky like Bruce Willis on a day when he feels he’s going to Die Hard, faced with nothing but the great destiny that lay ahead. A destiny shrouded in mystery, nuance and…applesauce.

(Cue a rapidly conducted orchestra of violins suited for an action film à la Hans Zimmer)

Applesauce.

Yogurt.

Two ingredients, both alike in dignity, and, despite the mind-boggling, candy-coated, granola-filled, extra-fruitinated conundrum that is the yogurt aisle these days, it was with this dignity in mind that I pursued this new thrust into the foray of yogurt varietals.

I noticed that the size of the cups was four ounces, which is but a wee little lass in comparison with the six-ounce containers I’m accustomed to. In fact, I almost didn’t go for it, but then I realized: dad-gum, it’s cute, and, like the big eyes of a beagle puppy, I could not resist. Could. Not. Resist.

I like vanilla yogurt. I have a secret affair with sugar cookies. I yearn for strawberries in January as Marcia Brady yearned for Davy Jones. Indeed, with so many qualities going for it, things were on the upside for this yogurt cup as I peeled back the aluminum covering to reveal…

Taupe.

A controversial color, indeed. It is the color of hotel lobbies and stale hospital waiting rooms. However, it is also the color of winter scarves and hamburger buns and those crummy kindergarten clay animal sculptures I tried to make (Was it a hippo? Was it a giraffe? We’ll never know…). This said, perhaps, taupe is a color of potential.

There it is, in all its taupe-like potential.

That kinda darker taupe swirl is the applesauce and, indeed, this tastes of applesauce. The applesauce itself had a little bit of a citrus somethin’ somethin’ with a hint of strawberry at the end, which is a nice little zing-pow-zam for you comic-book-sound-effects lovers. The texture of the applesauce blends well with the yogurt, maintaining a smooth consistency, although the vanilla, the sensitive flavor it is, seems to be lost in the midst of the apple.

Now, on to the cookies.

I’ll give it to you, YoCrunch: you give me lots of toppings. Over the years, you’ve nourished me with a scandalous mélange of edible “garnishes.” Like Oreos. And Reeses Pieces. And Oreos (wait…did I already say that?). And now, ye bringeth me these crumbly bits of a sugar cookie, which are good. Super good. Like makes-me-want-to-dance-the-whatoosie good (a miraculous and terrifying sight, indeed…). It would be great if you went into the cereal business and made this into a cereal. Could you do that for me, YoCrunch?

My love for these cookies was quashed by my own hand as I made the terrible mistake of stirring the cookies into the yogurt, resulting in a gloppy mess that tasted vaguely of cabinet shavings coated in strained milk product. Be warned, fellow eaters: do not mix your cookies in yogurt!

If you have a little pocket in your heart for the humble applesauce and desire to treat your cookies with respect (and I know you do), I recommend you pursue your yogurt cup using my newly developed 3-Step Cookie Pouring Technique (patent pending):

Step 1: After opening yogurt and stirring applesauce around, pour half the cookies on top.

Step 2: Without mixing the cookies, eat first half of the container.

Step 3: Now, pour the rest of the cookies on top of the bottom half of the yogurt and scoop-and-crunch away.

This will ensure you both cookie enjoyment and a non-mushy crunch with every vitamin-A-and-D-filled bite you take.

Despite their drab color and small size, these little cups offer a great deal to the world of apple yogurt. Indeed, they are the closest dairy product I’ve found to emulate an apple crumble in a factory-sealed plastic cup, and their size makes them easy to take anywhere, granting you the official right to enjoy one of these suckers whenever you like. It’s not quite dessert and not quite filling enough for a snack either, which makes it just right for any freakin’ time you want some smooth apple yogurt and cookies. A true embodiment of the philosophy that great things need not come in large packages.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cup (with cookie topping) – 110 calories, 40 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 55 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, Less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 16 grams of sugars, and 3 grams of protein.)

Item: YoCrunch Vanilla Nonfat Yogurt with Mott’s Strawberry Applesauce
Purchased Price: $2.58
Size: 1 box/4cups
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Smooth texture. Delicious cookie crumbles. Vitamins A and D. Good ratio of applesauce to yogurt. A little strawberry zing. Comic book sound effects. Dancing the whatoosie. Kindergarten clay sculptures.
Cons: Small size. Vanilla flavor seems absent. Food that taste like soggy cabinet shavings. Taupe. Hospital waiting rooms. Too many Die Hard films.

NEWS: Burger King Replaces Their Chicken Tenders with Chicken Nuggets and Offers New Limited-Time-Only Menu

January 2, 2013September 4, 2023 Marvo 6 Comments

Last year, Burger King introduced their chicken nuggets-looking Chicken Tenders, which replaced their crown-shaped chicken nuggets. To start the new year, Burger King has replaced their Chicken Tenders with their new Chicken Nuggets, which look similar to their Chicken Tenders.

I’m so confused.

BK’s new Chicken Nuggets have white meat chicken on the inside and a crispy tempura-style batter on the outside. It’s available in four-, six-, 10-, or 20-pieces, and comes with your choice of six sauces — Honey Mustard, Ranch, Sweet and Sour, Buffalo, Barbecue or Zesty.

Along with new chicken nuggets, Burger King is also offering four new limited-time-only menu items, one limited-time-only product back by popular demand, and one limited-time-only sandwich that sounds like something Burger King has introduced before.

Avocado Swiss Whopper – A fire-grilled beef, topped with naturally smoked thick-cut bacon, Swiss cheese, a creamy avocado spread, freshly cut lettuce, ripe tomatoes and a zesty avocado aioli, all on a toasted sesame seed bun.

Philly Original Chicken Sandwich – A BK classic Original Chicken Sandwich topped with red and green bell peppers, seasoned grilled onions and two types of melted cheese, all served on a toasted sesame bun.

Molten Fudge Bites – Features a fudge-brownie outside and molten chocolate filling on the inside. Served hot and dusted with powdered sugar.

Molten Fudge Sundae – Vanilla Soft Serve combined with Molten Fudge Bites. Topped with chocolate fudge and a buttery caramel swirl.

Cheesy Tots – Back by popular demand. Tots with a crispy outside, and potatoes and American cheese on the inside. Available in eight-piece, 10-piece or 12-piece servings.

Italian Original Chicken Sandwich – A lightly breaded chicken fillet topped with mozzarella cheese, and sweet and tangy marinara sauce, all served on a toasted sesame seed bun. Yes, it does sound similar to this sandwich that was offered by a little company called Burger King.

All items are available now at participating Burger King restaurants. If you’ve tried any of them, let us know what you think of them in the comments below.

Image via flickr user Creative Tools / CC BY 2.0

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 1/2/2013

January 2, 2013December 24, 2020 Marvo 4 Comments

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers.

The Kellogg’s Cinnamon Jacks box may say it’s sweetened with brown sugar and cinnamon, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it just had a brown sugar flavor. Apple Jacks doesn’t taste like apples, so there’s a good chance Cinnamon Jacks won’t taste like cinnamon. (Spotted by Michael at Walmart.)

Celebrate your birthday with a birthday cake and ice cream that tastes like birthday cake. On Second Scoop has a Breyer’s Blasts! Birthday Blast review. (Spotted by Adam at Walmart.)

Kellogg’s Special K Chocolatey Strawberry is a limited edition cereal. But once it disappears you can get your Special K Chocolatey Strawberry fix by combining Special K Red Berries and Special K Chocolatey Delight cereals. (Spotted by Jarred at QFC.)

It’s raining new General Mills cereals! Actually, it’s raining new and possibly reformulated General Mills cereals! Honey Nut Cheerios Medley Crunch and Fiber One Chocolate are new, but General Mills introduced a Peanut Butter Toast Crunch in 2004. (Spotted by Heidi at Walmart.)

Taste the upside down rainbow of Skittles Darkside which is made up of Midnight Lime, Forbidden Fruit, Pomegranate, Blood Orange, and Dark Berry. (Spotted by Kevin at Walgreens.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf (or really unusual), snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

NEWS: While Everyone Else Makes Greek Frozen Yogurt, Häagen-Dazs Makes Gelato

January 2, 2013February 5, 2023 Marvo 5 Comments

While almost everyone who owns an ice cream company has recently introduced Greek frozen yogurt, Häagen-Dazs has, so far, stayed away from the trend. However, instead of going Greek, Häagen-Dazs has decided to go Italian.

According to a post at The Ice Cream Informant, Häagen-Dazs has released a line of gelato. However, it isn’t Häagen-Dazs’ first gelato effort. A quick Google search found that they released a line of the Italian dessert in 2000.

The new Häagen-Dazs Gelato line comes in seven flavors:

Black Cherry Amaretto – Blends black cherries with amaretto, an Italian liqueur (1/2 cup serving has 240 calories, 9 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 26 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein)

Cappuccino – Combines cappuccino and sweet cream gelato (1/2 cup serving has 230 calories, 10 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 23 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein)

Dark Chocolate Chip – Mixes bittersweet chocolaty chips into dark chocolate gelato (1/2 cup serving has 270 calories, 12 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 24 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein)

Limoncello – Combines lemon gelato with vodka (1/2 cup serving has 240 calories 9 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 26 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein)

Sea Salt Caramel – Blends sea salt caramel ribbons with caramel gelato (1/2 cup serving has 270 calories, 11 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 29 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein)

Stracciatella – Combines chocolaty shavings with sweet cream gelato (1/2 cup serving has 270 calories, 13 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 25 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein)

Vanilla Bean – Do I really need to explain this one? (1/2 cup serving has 230 calories, 10 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 23 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein)

If you’ve tried the new (or old) Häagen-Dazs Gelato, let us know what you think of them in the comments below.

REVIEW: Sabritas Doritos Dinamita Chipotle Crema Rolled Tortilla Chips

January 2, 2013August 29, 2023 Kelley 6 Comments

When I first heard about Dinamita Doritos, I was immediately curious. I was easily able to locate the two original flavors – Chile Limon and Nacho Picoso. However, I later learned about another flavor, Chipotle Crema, which I found even more intriguing than the other two. But the flavor was proving to be quite elusive.

I was starting to wonder if they even existed. Ghost Doritos.

When I finally found them, I was excited. Happy snack dance excited. It doesn’t take someone fluent in Spanish to know that “Chipotle Crema” translates into “Chipotle Cream”, which sounded like an odd flavor for a tortilla chip. Cream-flavored chips, combined with chipotle, one of my favorite but oft-misused flavors? Sounds like a recipe for disaster, and those are generally my favorite recipes.

Perhaps I was blinded by my excitement in finding these chips, because I didn’t notice until I got home that these are not just tortilla chips. These are rolled tortilla chips.

Oh, I get it! Dinamita! Dynamite! Spicy, red, tubular chips! If only my eyeballs had moved two inches below the logo. It all makes sense, now.

Sabritas/Frito-Lay/Doritos could have gotten away with just throwing some regular chile images in there with the dinamita-shaped chips exploding off the package, but they went with authentico-looking chipotle peppers, which are smoke-dried jalapeños. Hence the wrinkled look. Points for “graphics exploding off the package” accuracy.

In case you’re confused about all the different product names, Sabritas is a Mexican snack-food company owned by Frito-Lay. As such, they market some of their products under both the Sabritas brand and other popular Frito-Lay brands like Doritos and Ruffles.

Since I live close to the border, I have the pleasure of seeing Sabritas snacks almost everywhere. The fun part is that almost all Sabritas packaging has both Spanish and English on it, which makes it like a tiny lesson in a foreign language. This is much more fun than taking Spanish in high school, because there are no tests, the translation is right there, and I learn much more useful phrases than “pasar la aspiradora”. That means “to pass the vacuum”, in case you were curious.

I now know the Spanish words for “dynamite”, “explode” and “boom”, which will surely come in much more handy than vacuum passing. Especially in airports.

Highlighting my observational skills, if I’d read the back of the bag I would have known right off the bat that this is these are not chipotle cream chips. These are chipotle cream cheese chips. Dinamita Doritos just got 100 percent more appealing. While I was willing to take one for the team and eat cream-flavored chips, I now want to go out and buy a block of cream cheese and a can of chipotle peppers, mix them together, and dip tortilla chips into it.

Luckily, I have these chips that claim to taste like that right here!

You might think cream cheese-flavored chips would taste about as awful as cream-flavored chips, but it definitely works in these Dinamita Doritos. While the chipotle built up a nice heat, the cream cheese still managed to shine through, and they compliment each other nicely.

While I could taste the pepper behind the heat, there was an unfortunate lack of smokiness in the chipotle flavoring, which is part of what gives the peppers a distinctive and delicious taste.

These being rolled tortilla chips, they were crunchier and a little bit harder than regular Doritos. I liked the shape; maybe it’s just me and my dainty ladymouth, but the size and triangular shape of regular tortilla chips is just big enough to make cramming a whole chip in my maw awkward. These rolled chips were easy to shove in my mouth.

While the small surface area would not work well with a dip like salsa, the added sturdiness would be perfect to scoop up, say, a dip made of cream cheese and chipotle peppers. That would be so meta.

Here are a few other uses I thought up for Dinamita Doritos:

1. Makeshift blowdart gun to use on your roommate who always steals your chips

2. Straw for sucking up salsa con queso

3. Vessel for snorting something totally legal because I would never condone doing drugs (but at least you won’t notice the chipotle burning your nostrils, since the totally legal drugs will already do that)

4. Breathing tubes if you’re getting your head cast in silicone (will burn your nostrils unless you already snorted something completely legal beforehand)

I found Doritos Dinamita Chipotle Crema Rolled Tortilla Chips to be quite the enjoyable snack. The actual cream cheese flavoring was unique and played well with the heat without being overwhelmed, but I did miss the smokiness of real chipotle peppers. I also really liked the size and texture of the chips. Plus, they’re multitaskers!

(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce/15 pieces – 150 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of total fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 0 grams of sugars, 2 grams of protein, and 2% vitamin A.)

Other Doritos Dinamita Chipotle Crema reviews:
Junk Food Guy
Chip Review
Original Borris (YouTube)

Item: Sabritas Doritos Dinamita Chipotle Crema Rolled Tortilla Chips
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 9 3/4 ounces
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Noticeable and enjoyable cream cheese flavor. Impromptu Spanish lesson. Builds up to a nice heat. Meta dip. Good size and texture. Multitasking snacks.
Cons: Missing chipotle smokiness. Ghost Doritos. Not fit for all dips. Getting tackled by TSA for trying out new Spanish words.

Basic